They’d split up.

Only for Thanksgiving, and only, they swore, for this year.

It should have been a first Thanksgiving together but with two moms both wanting their children home and too many miles between those homes, the only travel that worked were the guilt trips each one laid on their offspring.

As long as Pam could remember, her mom always hosted Thanksgiving, every year without exception. She acknowledged it was a lot of work, but it was work she was happy to do, especially since Pam and Penny had been assisting her in preparing the feast from the time they were little girls. She always said it was her special time with her daughters. There seemed to be something about the mindless action of peeling potatoes and mashing cranberries and long hours spent in the kitchen watching over the bird that inspired them to have some of their most intimate conversations.

This year especially, Helene was looking forward to the girl talk. Penny and Pam, both had new beaus to speak of. Penny, had only been dating Josh a few weeks, and Helene hadn’t heard much about him yet so she’d have lot of questions for her. Of course, Helene had heard so much about Jim for many years but now she would finally get to hear the details of their relationship now that he and Pam were finally together.

She would have loved for Jim to have come too and get to know him a little more but she was grateful just to get her daughter. In the last few years, Pam had missed every other Thanksgiving, switching off the holiday with Roy’s family. Though someone who looked a lot like Pam had been home for the holiday last year, it was an imposter, not her daughter. A spirit had inhabited the body of the person who helped Helene in the kitchen, the aberrant presence switching off from sullen and morose to brusque and temperamental. Over dinner, Pam was quiet but polite to her visiting relatives and nibbled at the food they’d spent all day preparing. Only when they were cleaning up later that evening did it finally come out about Jim’s new girlfriend. Arm deep in the sudsy water, Pam finally let tears flow as she shared every painful detail with her mother. So, this year when it came time to makes plans, Helene argued it wasn’t her Pam that was at Thanksgiving last year, meaning this year was her turn to have her daughter and insisted Pam spend it with the Beeslys.

Jim too was having trouble getting around the Thanksgiving obligation, especially since Tom and Marcie were coming with the new baby; the baby Jim hadn’t met yet and Pete and Cindy would be in from Boston. There was no way Jim was not going to be there too. Betsy was adamant.

So, for the first time since they officially began dating six months ago, they’d be away from each other for more than a day. It would be two days.  Two and a half days in fact, if counting hours, which Pam was. Despite the nice time she was having with her family she was already feeling somewhat anxious to get back. But on Thursday, when finally face to face with her mom and sister, she got a chance to share the incredibly romantic way Jim had come back to her, including a play-by-play of their first date and shared stories of how they spent days now that she and Jim were a couple.

That night as Penny and Pam shared the double bed in the guest room, she filled her sister in on the details of her nights now that she and Jim were a couple.

Friday was busy as it was every year with family traditions, brunch at the cousins in the late morning followed by an afternoon movie, and then an early dinner. When they returned to the house, they all helped take in the Christmas decorations from out of storage. Sitting around the den the family waxed nostalgic as they unboxed strings of lights, colorful glass bulbs and handmade ornaments Pam and Penny had made as children. Pouring through the collection of Christmas keepsakes, each with a story or a memory attached, they shared memories as they set figurines out on tabletops, twisted garland on the banisters, and hung stockings under the window—neither this nor the first house Pam lived in had a fireplace, a distressing fact for a young Pam when she first learned that’s how Santa made his way into the houses. But her dad assured her that when there was no fireplace for Santa to come down, he used the window instead. Just in case, Pam took crayons to the wall under the window, drawing a fireplace there, thus creating her first mural at the age of five.

She still loved to see the angel tree topper that once belonged to her Mee-Maw, remembering how as a little girl she somehow had found a way to get it down from the tree so she could bring it to bed in order to keep the ghost that she believed lived in her closet from coming to get her.

Helene tried to get her daughter to stay longer on Saturday, bribed her with a mani/pedi at the local salon but by early Saturday afternoon, with freshly painted nails and five Tupperware containers full of leftovers, she was back on Route 81 headed back to Scranton and Jim.

After playing the entire Travis CD once with an encore play of her favorite song, Sing, she flipped back over to the radio. Already the stations were bombarding listeners with Christmas music, but this wasn’t much of a problem for Pam since she loved the holiday tunes, at least for the first few weeks. In a few more she’d grow tired of hearing Wham’s Last Christmas at least once per hour, but currently she was happy to let it play out before she jumped over to another preset.

Last Christmas, the real-life version, was a rough one. She’d ended her relationship with Roy and was single and available when Jim returned to Scranton.

But he wasn’t.

He’d already found his new, someone special in Karen. Subject to watching them get closer and closer every day in the office, Pam was feeling sorry for herself and without anyone to share the season with she couldn’t even bring herself to get a tree.

Regardless of Jim’s current status, she knew she had been right to end things with her fiancé, but memories of Christmases with Roy were mostly happy ones. And between her sadness over Jim and thinking of happier times with Roy, she sunk deeper into the funk she was experiencing.

The tradition of decorating the tree was something she would miss that year. It was one of the few things she and Roy had both truly enjoyed doing. Even though the festive quaff he enjoyed while stringing lights and arranging ornaments, was a six pack of Bud, at least he drank from a can covered by a Santa suit beer cozy that she’d bought for him a few years back. And as long as Pam still got to enjoy her hot cocoa with candy canes, marshmallows and whipped cream she didn’t care what he chose to make merry with.

It didn’t even bother her that he put no effort into making plans for the day. It left Pam with the opportunity to arrange his whole schedule from that morning through night. It was the rare occasion when they spent the whole Saturday alone together, when there were no ball games with the guys, no sports to watch with his brother, no card games he couldn’t miss. For tree trimming day she had him exclusively, for 24 hours, first shopping for the best Woodland Pine and then decking it with lights and the ornaments they’d collected over the years. Pam also had full control of the music and even would catch Roy humming along to It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas and they’d both rock out to Billy Squire’s Christmas is a Time to Say I Love You, following his advice and sharing the sentiment with each other once the tree was properly trimmed.

While hanging her stockings at home with Roy, she had no idea someone else was slowly becoming hypnotized by the song’s regular airplay, Billy hanging out on his shoulder like Mephistopheles, subconsciously egging him on to spill his feelings. Sadly, this someone chickened out before sweet talk and candy found their way to her heart, even if a teapot full of memories still did.

Before the teapot became an argument a week or so later—why would you trade an ipod for a stupid teapot—Roy and Pam enjoyed their holiday tradition. Once they decorated the tree and admired how nice it looked with colorful glass ornaments, sparkling tinsel and glistening lights, they would call in for pizza. By now Roy was too drunk to go anywhere but Pam was just as happy to stay home, admire their handiwork and watch Christmas movies together. Starting with their joint favorite, A Christmas Story, once he passed out, Pam watched the classics like Miracle on 34th Street and It's a Wonderful Life while they lay together under a blanket on the couch, Roy’s light snoring preferable to complaints about her lame Christmas movie choices, she might hear if he were awake.

By Sunday morning when they woke up, the Norman Rockwell tradition would be over, but the holiday cheer from sharing the prior day would stay with her as she went food shopping and did laundry.  Even though she’d preferred being home where the tree was she happily joined him at the bar where they watched football games with his friends still holding on to the good mood she was in from the day before.

A few days later the glow of the holiday would start to fade into the background as the same old arguments propped up. Fights over whose house they would go to on Christmas Eve. Angry conversations over what made-up excuse kept him from being able to make Isabel’s annual ugly sweater party and resentment over how if they both worked the same hours why was she able to get her holiday gift shopping done but he still needed to shop for gifts at the eleventh hour, or worse ask her to.

But even with all the petty fights over parties and ipods she still had someone to share her Christmas with and that was better than the terrible loneliness she felt last year. Arguing with Roy about how much to spend on gifts was a lot less painful than watching Jim and Karen make plans to do their holiday shopping together. Sadly, the pain of watching them and being alone dampened her Christmas spirit to the point that she didn’t even hang up her stocking on the window sill, something she’d been doing ever since she’d first became old enough to learn about Santa and continued long after she was old enough to learn about Santa.

Last year there were no decorations and limited holiday plans.  She barely made it to Isabel’s ugly sweater party, wearing a chunky grey sweater that was ugly only because it was what she wore when Jim returned to Scranton and was now tainted with the murk she felt when she discovered he was seeing someone.

When Isabel gave her a hard time about her sweater’s lack of kitsch saying it wasn’t really an ugly sweater she responded in a morose voice.

“Oh Isabel, if you only knew how truly ugly this sweater now is.”

But this year, this year was like finding out Santa was real after all.  This year was hair combs and watch fobs and bags full of letters written on Dunder Mifflin paper. This year she was celebrating it with Jim and so she was beyond excited to get into the holiday spirit. What Jim lacked in his enthusiasm for Halloween he more than made up for with his Christmas cheer. Already they had plans set for the celebrating the season.  Pam's family would have them Christmas Eve and Christmas Day they've head to Jim’s. But the days leading up to Christmas was all theirs. They had brand new, matching ugly sweaters for Isabel’s party, hers with the front of a reindeer knitted into the panel and his with the back end, a trail of lights slinking off the tail and trailing off to nowhere unless he stood next to Pam where it connected to the lights that were tangled up in her half’s antlers. Next week they had plans to pick out a tree together and blocked out their Saturday to adorn it afterwards. She was excited see what kind of tree trimming skills he had when Angela wasn't dictating where the ornaments should go.

Bing was now crooning I’ll be Home for Christmas, as Pam took a mental inventory of her decorations when it suddenly came to her. She had none.

Packed away in boxes, the ornaments and lights, garlands and bows were probably still exactly where she left them two Christmases ago, collecting dust in Roy’s garage. He obviously wasn’t in the mood to put up a tree last year either and so the tree trimming paraphernalia remained untouched and undivided in storage. In her lack of spirit last year, she’d forgotten all about them. Sure, she could call over and ask if she could come get them but they were tied to her past and this Christmas was about new beginnings.

Instead, she’d suggest a trip to Target before the games tomorrow to buy new ornaments and lights. Of course, that meant starting fresh from nothing and money was a little tight now that she was paying off a sizable credit card bill, the residual effects of her zealous overspending for Jim’s birthday.

It would have to be a smallish tree and it would have to be decorated with a minimalist aesthetic but that didn’t matter now. What did was beginning new traditions with Jim. Starting a new collection of shared ornaments, making new memories of singing carols as they sat tied up in a tangle of lights figuring out which bulb was out and therefore keeping the whole string from illuminating, and hanging new stockings on a window ledge since her apartment, like her childhood house had no fireplace. But the more she thought about all the expenses of Christmas the more she realized how much it would set her back, the more she realized a tree and all that it entailed would be way more than she should rightly spend.

As she got nearer to town, she took out her phone, lowering Mariah’s All I Want for Christmas is You, she always hated that song anyway, and called Jim.

“Hey hon, you almost home?” he asked through a yawn, his voice having that extra gravel it always did when he first woke up.

“Did I wake you?”

No, well maybe, I must have nodded off watching TV waiting for you. I think I still have a turkey coma. My mom prepares her bird with extra tryptophan.”

Pam chuckled, a note of sadness still in her tone as she thought about the reality of not being able to decorate a tree as she’d planned with Jim.

“I’m about 15 minutes from your place. Should I swing by there?”

“Um, don’t you want to get back to your place and get settled? I can meet you there in an hour.”

Pam was a little surprised at his answer, she was anxious to see him and knew her felt the same, he’d said as much when she spoke to him that morning. She assumed he’d want her to come right over but quickly explained it away in her mind that he’d been lazing away the morning and probably hadn’t yet showered or even got out of his pajamas.

 “Ok, but Jim, I have no Christmas decorations.”

“That’s okay Beesly, I know there were no elves decorating your place while you were gone. I don’t expect your place to be all decked out just yet,” he joked, Pam imagining his silly grin through the phone.

“Besides, I thought we were going to do that together next weekend.”

“No Jim, I just remembered, I never got back all my Christmas stuff from Roy. I have nothing, no lights, no ornaments, no tree stand or blanket, not even a stocking. And I’m broke, I don’t think we can afford to decorate a tree this year.”

With that her voice started to crack, while Jim’s suddenly switched to the soft, calming croon that came out whenever Pam was sad or worried or in rare occasions, mad at him.

“Hey, Pam relax. We will figure it out. We can get a small tree and I’ll pay for it. We don’t need to get a ton of stuff to decorate it, we can make stuff, steal some ornaments from my parents, improvise. I promise you, we will have a beautiful tree.”

“Okay,” Pam sniffled through the phone rushing off before her emotions got the better of her and she was in a full out bawl. “I’ll see you in an hour.”

Jim clicked his phone closed and turned back to look at the sizable fir he had soaking in a bucket of water. That morning he had been out to the tree place, a week before he planned to go with Pam, to pick up the tree he planned to surprise her with at his place. Now, more than ever, he was excited about his idea.

An hour later he was at her door, with the bag of groceries he’d picked up for her when he shopped earlier. He knew her mom sent her home with leftovers but he also knew that she preferred a snack of mixed berry yogurt to stuffing and cranberry sauce and couldn’t have her morning coffee without cream, plus a dash of cinnamon.

The plan for the evening had already been established, and it did not entail leaving her apartment again until morning. On the agenda was Chinese ordered in from Shun Lee while they watched one of the movies she gave him for his birthday—he promised her they could finally watch Frequency— plus a whole lot of making up for the other things they missed while apart.

Couching it Thanksgiving night on the pull-out in the den, his legs uncomfortably hanging over the end because his mom insisted he stay having had had a little too much to drive himself home, he had to keep Pam from his thoughts as he drifted to sleep. There were kids in the house after all and he was surrounded by the toys they brought over in the den. Ironically, he knew his bed was free most of the night, Larissa’s boyfriend who was given his bedroom and thus his privacy, made his way to her bedroom after midnight when the rest of the family were all fast asleep.

Last night, out with his brothers until late he rang her when he got home but it went straight to voicemail. Hearing her voice on the recording was enough to get him wishing she were with him as she was every other Friday night.

She greeted him with an extra-long kiss to make up for the lack of them over the last few days before they brought the bags to the kitchen and put the contents away. Though she smiled at him as they unpacked the bags he brought, he noticed how her eyes were tinged red and the lush brown lashed lids were puffier than normal. 

“Okay, we’re going out. My girl needs some holiday cheer in the form of new stockings and all the tinsel we can find at Target. Grab a yogurt, this may take a while and you’re going to need some energy.”

This seemed to cheer her up. Her sad eyes lit up as did the corners of her mouth.

“Really? You don’t mind?” She was already back in the fridge grabbing one of the yogurts he just brought over but then swapped it out for one of the ones further back that was likely closer to the expiration date.

“Of course not. But this means we won’t be able to watch Frequency again tonight,” he spoke with a small mocking tone knowing how much she wanted him to see it. Truth was Pete mentioned he’d seen it when they were out last night, and said it was really good, one of those underhyped movies that never got the recognition it deserved. Jim was actually looking forward to seeing it now, cuddling with Pam as they shared egg rolls and chow fun and she chattered through the movie, but he knew it was more important that Pam get some holiday on ASAP.

They sat at her small kitchen table while Pam ate her yogurt, Jim focused on her once again happy eyes as they talked about the time they spent with their families.

“My mom can’t wait to see you again on Christmas Eve. And my dad can’t wait to meet you too.”

“I can’t wait to get to know them. While we are out you should help me pick out something to bring them for the holiday.”

“Okay,” she responded giddily, her cheer seeming to increase by the minute.

“Maybe we should even hit the tree place tonight if we can get there before it closes. The smallest trees always seem to go the fastest and we should try to snag one now while there are still some to snag.” Jim had spotted some nice minis earlier when he was there and hoped they were still available.

At this suggestion, Pam gulped down her last bite of yogurt, tossing the container into the garbage by counter as she bounced out of the room.

“Let me go change to a warmer sweater and jeans,” she called back to him as her voice trailed off when she rounded the hallway that led to the bedroom.

As soon as Pam was gone from sight, Jim was at the garage can, retrieving the container she had just tossed in it.

“Jim, don’t you think you want to change to…um what are you doing?”

Jim jumped back startled by Pam’s sudden reappearance in the kitchen, catching him with his long arms in her trash, the look on his face probably a lot like the one he had when he was caught as a young boy in the closet shaking wrapped boxes trying to figure out if he was getting the deluxe Lego set he wanted.

“Um, ah I dropped…ah I’m…”

Jim stumbled over his words for the briefest of moments before stiffening up and lapsing into a Dwight-like stance and voice.

“Dwight Is training me to be his Recyclopse sidekick. And you missy,” he held up the recently tossed yogurt container waving it over his head in one hand while waving a pointed finger at her with the other, “are in violation of illegally disposing of a plastic yogurt container.”

“You are crazy,” she said as she grabbed the container out of his hand and rinsed it off in the sink setting it aside on the counter. “Happy, even though I don’t think this is a recyclable plastic.”

Jim finally got a good look at the container. It was not her normal Yopliat with the iconic metallic lids, special to them in a way that would forever be symbolic of his homecoming, of her love and the thing that drew them together in the first place.

“Since when do you eat Chobani?”

Pam offered an encouraging smile, assuring him her choice of yogurt today meant nothing more than the new Greek style on the market was a little more filling and a nice change of pace from her regular mixed berry.

“They’re new and my mom thought I’d like them. They’re a little thicker so they fill you up more. Don’t worry, these are good but I still love my Yoplait. I only had this one today because I didn’t know when we would eat dinner and didn’t want to get hungry. I couldn’t ever give up my mixed berry, it would be like giving up you.”

Much as that was comforting for Jim to hear, it didn’t help that she was adding Chobani into her yogurt mix. The lids were all wrong. Not a huge yogurt eater himself, he would now have to become one in order to have his plan work.

He leaned in to kiss her hoping he could erase any superstition still lingering at having caught him rummaging through her trash.

“I’ll be in to change in a minute. I’m suddenly in the mood for a yogurt.”

He grabbed one of the Yoplaits and once again embodying Dwight, gulped it down in three bites, tossing the container but rinsing the lid and tucking in away in the pocket of his jeans.

An hour and a half later a large banner advertising fresh cut Christmas trees greeted them as they pulled into the farm's parking lot. Pulling his Saab into the space beside a silver minivan, Jim had the eerie sense of déjà vu, like he’d been here before, the only difference was this morning the minivan was blue.

Hand in hand they walked from the car to the verdant oasis where rows of Douglas and Fraser firs lined up like multi-sized soldiers of silvery green, filling the air with the fragrant smell of the holiday. As they drew closer to the pine-covered landscape the incense of cut trees assaulted their senses but with the happy aroma that brought on memories of hanging stockings, decorating cookies and opening gifts.  Only two tree wranglers were still working, where this morning Jim spied a half dozen, the both of them currently occupied helping other families.

On their own, Pam and Jim walked through a carpet of needles and a dusting of snow, admiring all the luscious jade evergreens, their sizes mostly alternating between average and grand, before they arrived at a mini tree, that seemed the perfect size and hopefully price.

As she spied it, she clasped her hands together in joy, the signature quiver that activated her hands matched the ways her eyes danced in delight. Soon she was looking around to catch the attention of one of the lumberjack types, the workers with whom they could haggle with over price and could wrap and help carry the tree to the car. Jim not worried about the cost and not unable himself to carry the small fir picked it up and together they walked with it back to the center of the lot to wait for the next available attendant. But when Jim noticed which of the two bearded, flannel clad men had just finished their last sale, he set down the tree and tried to whisk Pam into another row, only not in time.

“Hey folks, can I help…,”

Don’t recognize me, don’t recognize me, Jim pleaded silently

“Hey man, back so soon? Was there a problem with your tree?”

Jim shot him a look, begging with his eyes for the man play along.

“I think you’ve got me confused with someone else.”

“Well then you’ve got a twin out there, cause man there was a guy here who looked just like you this morning,” he said as he brought his leather gloved hand up to tug on the hair that covered his chin as Jim turned his back slightly to Pam while looking directly at him shifted his eyes towards her. Pam tilted her head quizzically looking first to Jim, back to the tree man and back at Jim again.

“But then don’t we all have a doppelganger out there,” he tried to autocorrect his earlier comments, “And after a while, I see so many people they all seem to blend into each other.  Anyway, what can I do for you?”

After the tree was securely tied to the tree and Jim had slipped him an extra $20 for his discretion and the good deal he gave them on the tree, bulk discount he whispered when Pam was out of earshot, they returned to the warmth of the car and drove towards the Target on the other side of town.

Pam brought up what happened with the attendant as they drove off, “That was kind of weird he thought you’d been there this morning. Don’t you think?”

Jim gulped hard before he answered and hoped she didn’t notice. “Well he probably does see so many people and we probably all start to look alike after a while. But who knows maybe my brother stopped by to pick up a tree there before he went back to New Jersey, today.”

“Except your brother doesn’t look that much like you.”

“With a hat he does.”

“Hmm”, she thought it over for a minute, “Still, no. I lucked out with the cute brother of the family.”

“You sure did. Don’t you forget it.” He should have suggested it was Pete, the brother she still hadn’t met in person, although even in pictures which she had seen enough of, he knew they never could pass for each other. A fact Jim knew from all the years he tried to use his brother’s license as a fake ID, most often getting turned away with a nice try, give your brother back his license, kid.

Reaching over to squeeze her knee and hopefully end the suspicion he tried to change the subject. “So, Target and then Pizza?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

It was finally Friday. The week had dragged, as it always seemed to after a 4-day weekend but beyond the slowness it was an unusual week too, at least it seemed so to Pam. Something seemed a little off all week with Jim, sometimes he was his regular affectionate self but at random times seemed oddly distant, like he was keeping secrets and even to some degree avoiding her.

A forensic deconstruction of the week brought her thoughts back to the trip home from her parents, when the strangeness first began. Jim had kept her from dropping by his place, which was not expected. At the time, she chalked up to his having a lazy Saturday, but now with everything else, it was undeniably the first thing that week the wasn’t quite right.

But she soon forgot about it when they pushed up their plans to buy a tree and head out that very same afternoon to buy it. They found the perfect one, at least for this year because the price was right and with the smaller size they wouldn’t need to break the bank to adorn it properly. There was the weird incident with the guy who helped them, how he remembered seeing Jim, but Pam let herself be convinced the tree man saw hundreds of people and probably had him confused with someone else. Even so, there was a side of her that still wondered.

Once the tree was securely tied to Jim’s car, they made their way to Target and the weirdness of the encounter strayed completely from her mind as they got lost in the winter wonderland of holiday décor set up in the back of the shop. Target’s Christmas section filled 12 aisles and one large open display area, and they spent over an hour looking through it all before deciding what they liked and could afford on their limited budget.

Pam found a box of maroon, oblong shaped ornaments that were unique and yet classic. The contour had a bulbous center and pointed bottom while the design had a glitter-like surface that alternated with a smooth line in a swirled pattern. Jim objected, saying the shape was too much like a beet and reminded him of Dwight, but acquiesced when Pam remarked how pretty she thought they were and noticed they were on sale.

“Yeah, because nobody wants beets on their tree.”

Pam nudged him playfully but put them in the cart anyway.

They both chose one keepsake-type ornament for each other at Pam’s suggestion. Jim found an artist's palate for Pam and she found a fish that looked enough like a tuna but Jim made her put it back saying it was bad enough he’d be reminded of Dwight when he looked at the tree, he didn’t want to be thinking of Andy too. In the end, she found a Phillies ball but planned to go back and get the tuna one for him before Christmas.

They picked up a few other inexpensive decorative items, including some garland and a box of little red bows. They splurged on a sparkly tree blanket and Pam found a reasonably priced stand that could adjust to any size tree with visions of using it for a full-sized fir next year. When she went off to grab two boxes of candy canes in the next aisle, one for the tree and a box of minis to stir in with her cocoa, Jim grabbed another string of lights, hoping she wouldn't notice it at checkout.

The hour they spent at Target was an hour filled with giggles and playful teasing and fun that made her glad to have to buy all new Christmas decorations. But being with Jim always made simple tasks like shopping a good time. As they loaded items into the cart, including the laundry detergent and fabric softener Jim grabbed when they were done picking out Christmas stuff, she thought back to one of their earliest shopping trips and she giggled again as she recited, “Jim Halpert, price check on fabric softener.”

And just as he had back when she first learned he used fabric softener, he lovingly called her a dork and she jumped onto the front bar of the cart while Jim wheeled it to the checkout area, straddling her between his body and the handle, her head still not quite reaching his height, even with him bent over to make room for her petite frame underneath him.

“Did we mean to get two sets of lights?” Pam asked as they unloaded the cart and she noticed the second set.

“Oops, I must have grabbed two by mistake.” Jim took the second set out and placed it atop of the beverage cooler at the start of the aisle, waiting for the opportunity to slip it back into the line of purchases when she wasn’t paying attention. When he thought the coast was clear, he placed it back on the belt.

Pam did notice but said nothing. Still, she wondered why he felt they needed the extra lights. One was enough for the size tree they got.

After Jim insisted on paying for the purchases, they decided to skip the pizza and head back to her place, saving a little on dinner by having the leftovers from Thanksgiving that Pam’s mom provided.

Nothing was so off in their trip to Target, aside from maybe his weird need to secretly buy a second set of lights, in fact they had more fun shopping and even joked about going back there for their next date. And certainly nothing was off that evening when they got home.

Anxious as they were to get to setting up the tree, they were more anxious to get to each other, especially after the couple of days apart. Appetites for dinner were soon ignored as he stood behind her again, this time as they tried in vain to heat up turkey and stuffing.  But by now Jim could no more keep himself from reacting to her nearness than she could keep the tingling from coursing through her whole body especially as he put his lips to her neck and ran his hands across her stomach and then under the sweater he soon removed.

Soon they’d abandoned the containers on the counter making it only as far as the couch in the next room where they satisfied a different kind of hunger.

They finally got around to dinner and even a Christmas movie from Pam’s collection but they barely got to see Natalie Wood spy on the department store Santa with the little Dutch girl before they were distracted once again. They soon retreated to the bedroom, both of them feeling a little strange about what they were about to do in front of Kris Kringle, real or not.

The next day was almost as perfect as Saturday had been. After sleeping in and a trip to Steamtown Mall to get personalized stockings, since Pam proclaimed they couldn’t put up a single ornament until after the stockings were hung, they spent the day decorating the tree, both of them sipping minty hot cocoa with whipped cream, and even watched the rest of the movie. 

But a glitch in their perfect day occurred when they got to the lights.

While they had been stringing the first set around the tree— Pam was right the one set was enough—she let him in she knew about the second set.

"So, what should we do with the other lights?” she asked him casually. “Should we put them in the window or around the doorway.”

“What other lights?” Jim played dumb but Pam insisted she knew.

“Jim, I saw you put them back on the checkout belt. I know you bought them.”

“Pam, I don’t know what you think you saw but we only bought the one set. You said we only needed one and you were right. The tree looks amazing, even with the beets.” He pulled her near and kissed her in front of the little tree they spent the last hour dazzling up with lights and the bows and the new ornaments. Not wanting to argue over something so silly, she dropped it, even though she was sure they’d paid for two.

When Jim was in the bathroom later, Pam snuck a look at the receipt that was still in the bag and sure enough there were two sets listed. 

Him lying to her about the lights was bad enough but late in the afternoon things took another peculiar turn.

“Listen Beesly, I think I’m going to head back to my place tonight, ok.”

Pam was putting away the movie when he said it and was sure she knew the reason he wanted to head home.

“It’s okay if you want to watch football. We don't have to watch anymore Christmas Movies today.” She meant it too, she knew he liked to watch the Sunday games and while she only cared to watch the Eagles, she was happy to put on the other games for him.

“Um, well I do want to watch the games, but I also want to get back to my place tonight.”

He seemed tentative as he said it, which was strange since they mostly spend Sundays at his place. For some reason he preferred to watch the Eagles at his apartment while she wore his McNabb Jersey. It was one of the few sports superstitions he had that she knew about, even though he’d never admit he was superstitious. He justified it by saying he just thought she looked so cute in the jersey, especially when she stripped down to nothing but the oversized garment.

“Ok, so we’ll head back to your place. Do you want to go now?”

Jim was quiet for a minute and slowly walked up to where she was, tenderly kissing the top of her head, his lips drawn to her forehead like a moth to a flame.

“I was thinking I’d go back alone tonight. You kinda wore me out yesterday. You were an animal, Miss Beesly,” he joked. “I’m beat and I’ve still got a few things I need to do at home before the game starts.”

She couldn't imagine what he needed to do that he couldn't do with her around. Especially, since he’d had a few days to get stuff done while she was at her parents. But she wasn’t going to make an issue of it.  He’d made the weekend so special, calming her down when she was upset about all the lost Christmas stuff, buying them the little tree and all the ornaments, and starting some brand-new traditions with her. He probably was just really tired after the long weekend or he wanted to watch the game alone. The Eagles weren't having the best season and he was always a little grumpy when they lost. Pam knew it was probably that, no big deal, nothing for her to worry about, but still it gnawed at her a little.

But everything seemed fine again when he picked her up Monday morning. Jim was cheery despite another Eagles loss, a close one too which were always more heartbreaking than the absolute blow-outs. She had watched enough of the game to know what a nail-biter it was, switching off between the Eagles and Desperate Housewives.

Things seemed pretty standard at the office too. After everyone had discussed their Thanksgiving holidays and Michael shared what a wonderful spread Jan put out—a Whole Foods feast that was heated to the perfect temperature and had only set him back $150 for the complete eight course meal the two of them shared—he pulled everyone into another impromptu assembly in the conference room. Jim was lucky enough to get out of it, having a client meeting already booked. Somehow it felt like Jim had purposely timed his meeting in such a way to miss out on Michael’s, though Pam knew that was impossible since he only called it after sharing a printout of the decorative fire extinguisher he planned to get Ryan for his holiday gift. When Jim and Pam both pointed out how not well Ryan would take that, the entire office was called together to think up a gift for Ryan that would blow him away. Michael then added Jan and his mom to the idea brainstorm once everyone was trapped inside the glass-walled confines.

When the meeting adjourned an hour later, Pam shuffled out of the conference room with three stacks of papers that had the suggestions the staff was forced to come up with. Reading through some of the ideas written she couldn’t help but close her eyes and shake her head at the transparency of the anonymous ideas.

For Ryan, Meredith had suggested booze, Kelly suggested the book Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus and Kevin had suggested M&Ms but then crossed that out and put down a beard trimmer instead, which, was actually such a good idea had he not put down M&Ms first, she might have thought it was Oscars’.

In the pile of suggestions for Jan, was a Juicy Couture sweatsuit, Kelly’s, booze again from Meredith with Dwight offering up a romantic weekend trip to Shrute Farms.

Knowing she was going to want to organize the papers in some way when she went over them with Michael, she stopped at Jim’s desk to grab a few paper clips before joining him in his office. It just so happened there was a brand-new box sitting atop his desk. Opening it, she was more than a little surprised to see the colorful paper clips that she liked to use. In the seven years they'd been working at Dunder Mifflin she’d only ever seem Jim using standard silver ones. He even playfully teased her about her colorful clip use, claiming he could tell her mood by the color she chose.

Unsure of why it seemed so strangely out of character, they were paper clips after all, she tried not to think too much of it. It probably meant absolutely nothing. But still she checked the supply shelves later to see if perhaps they’d run out of silver clips but there were plenty of boxes of them piled there.

By that night, it was out of her mind completely when they returned to her apartment and finally watched Frequency. In the end Jim loved it, commenting the whole time how much the Elizabeth Mitchell character looked like she should be a doctor not a nurse, an obvious reference to Lost, whose return they were anxiously waiting for so they could finally watch together. As they got ready for bed, he teasingly gave her a hard time for not wanting to watch such a “great movie” and she mocked him in return saying it she didn’t like it one bit.

On Tuesday, Pam got stuck in a long PPC meeting, that Jim of all people suggested they have over lunch. Which would mean for two days in a row she would not get to eat lunch with her boyfriend. What’s worse, she would have to stomach extra time with Angela and Phyllis going back and forth over the theme and color scheme. Every year it seemed a different color was whorish, this year it was anything metallic.

Pam thought Angela would have learned her lesson after last year but she seemed even more belligerent, shooting down all the committee’s suggestions and making snarky comments that a silver and gold party would just invite wanton behavior and a 1920’s theme even more so.

Exasperated, Pam took a break from the fighting to grab another coke from the vending machine and walked in on Oscar and Jim deep in conversation. On the table in front of them was a mess of papers, blanketing the table like the snow that had fallen the night before.

She stepped in the room just in time to hear Oscar saying something to Jim about making ends meet and started to feel a little guilty wondering how much the tree and stuff had set him back. Could he be so much in debt he needed Oscar’s financial guidance?

When she stepped up to the table to say hello, placing her hand gently on his back, he nearly jumped out of his seat as if she had shuffled through the shag carpet in his parent’s den and her fingers caused an electric shock that pulsed through his entire body.  Quickly recovering he hunched his body over the table and the papers strewn across it.

“Hey, how’s the meeting going? Angela driving you crazy yet? Any word on this year’s theme?” he kept on with questions as he rose from the table and escorted Pam to the vending machine where he purchased her coke. Not even letting her answer, he then walked her out of the room and she let him, not wanting to embarrass him any further about his money situation. But she was a little hurt he hadn’t been upfront with her. She thought they could discuss anything. Didn’t he say as much when they made up after having that fight a few months back? Money, she guessed, was the one topic that anything didn’t fall under.

“My place is a mess, let’s go to yours.”

This was the latest excuse Jim had for keeping Pam away from his apartment. It was Wednesday and she hadn’t seen the inside of his place since before Thanksgiving. He’d been there again last night, this time to swap out some clothes and feed the cat, he’d joked when he said he was heading home for the night. Pam knew Jim’s place was a mess, it was most of the time. That had never kept her away before but now he was keeping her from his apartment with that lame excuse.

What are you hiding James Halpert? It was all she could think of as they ate dinner together but her doubt was gone again that evening as he took her mind off it and put it on other things instead. The feeling that came over her as he murmured how much he loved her, his lips tickling her ears and neck, his hands erasing any doubts as they stroked her inner thighs, made it hard to think of anything else.

“Is there a Jim Halpert here?”

The UPS delivery man had barely finished speaking and Pam didn’t think she’d ever seen Jim get to her desk so fast, not even when she refilled her Jelly Bean container with a fresh bag of Jelly Bellys.

“Yes, that’s me,” and he grabbed the small box from the man in the brown suit.

Pam leaned over her desk to sneak a glance, it was probably something for her after all, but she wondered why he had it sent to the office. The strange part was that it was hand addressed instead of having a printed label like gifts from Amazon or any other mail order package would have. It reminded her of the weird packages that often came for Dwight and she suddenly realized that’s what it was, some element of a prank that he would play on him later but that got her wondering why Jim hadn’t filled her in on it.

As they changed into their matching sweaters, Pam thought how happy she was the strange week was finally over and they would have the whole weekend to spend together starting tonight at her friend’s party.

Yesterday, Jim had yet another out-of-the office meeting late in the day that became drinks and burgers at the bar. He’d warned her that it was a possibility earlier in the day, but still she had hoped he’d be able to get out of it. She’d gotten used to having a dinner date to eat with nearly every night since the first one six months ago. Even when it was just pasta or sandwiches at home, eating with Jim was far better than eating alone so when he called her to say go ahead and eat without him, she felt somewhat deflated. But that was nothing compared to the flat out crash she felt when he called back later and told her he was going to head home, claiming too much paper talk had numbed his mind to a hard-to-shake fatigue. She knew she was being crazy, thinking it was anything more than a busy week and one beer too many at the bar. All the little incidents that were weirding her out all week were minor and trivial. He still told her he loved her at the end of every call when they were apart, still looked at her with his adoring eyes when they were together, still surprised her with little acts of love and still kissed her with unbridled passion when he showed up the next morning holding mistletoe over his head. 

If Pam was concerned he was being distant during the week, she had nothing to worry about at the party. He barely left her side and not just because their sweaters dictated they stay next to each other. They had a blast, laughing with friends, duetting Baby it’s Cold Outside for their turn at Karaoke, and blowing everyone else away at Taboo. With a language all their own and so many “Dwight does this” and other personal clues only they could know, there was little challenge in scoring 6 or 7 or sometimes even 12 points per turn. And when Jim got a little slap happy with the buzzer as Isabel kept saying the taboo words, he cracked everyone up by holding it down for a steady blast while running the rounded device over his chin as if to shave. As Pam laughed along with her adorable boyfriend, she caught his eyes, a smile just for her hidden in them, and knew she had been over-analyzing every thing that week. But it wasn’t until they went home, to his place at last, that she understood just how wrong she’d been to have the slightest of doubt of his devotion and pure love for her.

He made her close her eyes as he walked her in, one arm cradled around her holding her hand, the other on her waist gently guiding her through the dark room. The smell of pine wafted through the air, the fresh aroma of Christmas filling the room and her nostrils. Dancing lights infiltrated her closed lids and when he finally allowed her to open them before her stood a magnificent Balsam.

Pam gasped in delight as she took in the tree. As the lights on the tree flashed, so in her mind, did all the strange occurrences of the week.

The tree wrangler who recognized him.

The missing second set of Christmas lights.

His rummaging through her trash.

The box of colored clips on his desk.

His nights away from her and keeping her from his apartment.

All of it was there on this tree. Instead of glass balls the tree was covered in silver, blue and gold yogurt lids. Instead of garland, a chain of colorful paper clips encircled the branches. Clipped to random boughs were both their yearbook photos, the smiling faces of their youth dotting the tree like tinsel.

“Jim, this is just…,” at a loss for words Pam turned to him, tears glistening in her crystal green eyes.

“Do you like it?” he asked as she turned back to take in more of the tree.

“Jim, it’s just amazing. But it must have been so expensive, this tree and the little one at my place, all the new ornaments, the stands and tree blankets and extra lights. I can’t believe you did all this for me when you’re having money troubles.”

The expectant look on Jim’s face suddenly turned to one of confusion.

“Money troubles, what makes you think I’m having money troubles?”

“Your lunch with Oscar. The papers you were hiding from me. His talk about making ends meet.”

Laughter suddenly erupted from Jim, fat tears rolling down his dimpled cheeks as his breath stopped momentarily from the hysterics of whatever it was he found so amusing.

“Beesly, you really shouldn’t be so nosy and if you are going to be snoopy, you oughta get better at it. He didn’t say make ends meet, he said you have to make the ends meet. He was teaching me to do the origami he’s always going on about, showing me how to make the stars that are here on the tree, which is not easy I might add. He had to demonstrate a dozen times thus all the paper you saw. But hey, now you’re not the only one who can do origami.”

Pam looked back at the tree and suddenly noticed all the colorful paper stars, cute little pink ones and larger ones in a rainbow of colors and soon she was giggling too, the sweet sounds coming from deep in her chest sounding like a holiday song to Jim’s ears.

“These aren’t just any stars, nosy girl.” He pulled one down and unfolded it holding it out for Pam to read.

“These are copies of Toby’s PDA memo. And the pink ones are phone message slips like the one you snuck into my sales figures for the interview.”

“Oh my God. That is incredible.” Her smile brightened again as she nipped her tongue in joyous delight. Her reaction was just like when he gave her the teapot two Christmases ago, maybe better.

“This is an amazing tree because it comes with bonus ornaments, for when you get hungry.”

He pulled something else from the tree, something else she only just noticed, little bags of jelly beans, tied up with bows. He untied a bow from the bag he grabbed and popped a Jelly Belly into his mouth.

Pam walked around the tree, swept away by what Jim had done, in awe of all the memories Jim had trimmed the tree with. Boggle timers, little pencils, cocktail umbrellas, a time capsule of their friendship and their love hung from the branches and she took in every detail, her eyes finally making their way to the top.

“Is that…,” she started to speak, but got choked up her voice cracking before she could finish.

The hand addressed package. How had she not recognized her own mom’s handwriting?

“Mee-Maw’s Angel?”

She jumped into Jim’s arms nearly knocking him over in the process.

“Thank you, Jim. This is the best Christmas present.”

“I promised you we would have a beautiful tree.”

“You did, didn’t you. Well this is the most beautiful tree I’ve ever had. Thank you, Jim. I love you.”

The one thing not on the tree was mistletoe but that didn’t stop Pam from kissing him all night.

---

“And that is why we always put yogurt lids and old photos of mommy and daddy on our tree.”

Cece giggled happily as Pam finished telling the tale. Phillip bounded around the bottom of the tree deciding on the right spot to hang the beet-shaped ornament he held in his hands. Pam knew their kids were too young to understand even half of the story but she still loved to share it, she and her husband caroling in rounds all of the events that led to their unique tree trimming tradition. They’d been telling it since before Cece was born, the story now just as much a part of the ritual as the yogurt lids were.

She caught Jim’s eye, the mischievous twinkle in it just as vivid as it was the night he first revealed the symbolic tree to her many years ago. They’d been through much tougher times since then, times when her doubts made the little things that had her worried back then seem comical. But once again, Jim had found a way to show her just how much love he had for her and the family they made together, and she knew it was her turn to do the same. As she devised her own Jim gesture, she thought how much she’d miss this house but knew as long as their Christmas tree had bags of jelly beans, metallic discs and yearbook photos it would always be home. Tomorrow she’d call Carol. Today she’d enjoy what would likely be the last tree-decorating day in this home and smiled as Jim lifted their daughter up to place a gold yogurt lid up on a branch near the top right next to Mee-Maw’s angel.

“And that Matthew, is what’s up with the yogurt lids and yearbook pictures on our tree.”

Watching their daughter with the boyfriend she’d finally brought back to stay with them for few days of their break, made Jim think of his early days with Pam. Matthew looked at Cece—Ceceila, as she now preferred to be called—in the same way Jim had looked at Pam back in their early days of dating, back when the yogurt lid and yearbook photo tradition began. It was the same way he still looked at her now as they finished the explanation together.

“That’s a great story, Mr. Halpert.”

“Please Matthew, call me Jim.”

Jim liked Matthew. Pam did too. The smile on his daughter’s face when she introduced him was the same one he’d seen on his wife a million times since their introduction at the little paper company where they met.

One day maybe they’d be adding his yearbook photo to the ones of Pam, Jim, Cece and Phillip on the tree. But for now, Jim was happy he’d be spending some of the holidays as a guest in the spare bedroom of their Austin home, even if it did mean for time Matthew was here, he’d have to be the last one to go to sleep at night.