I do not own The Office: U.S. version.
I do not strangle.
The Scranton Strangler
Satan's Anus
It's Toby's fault, really, that's who's fault it is.
He's been so obsessed with following all the little details about the case.
". . . -ually strangled in one location and the body dumped in another-"
"Ugh, sounds like too much work to me."
And Jim's been bored.
So bored.
So, Toby.
And Michael Scott . . .
"Toby, yes, Toby The Devil, Satan's Anus himself-"
"Michael-"
. . . would completely back him up on any blame-staking of Toby, every bad thing to be had in the history of the world-
". . . pretty sure he killed JFK-"
"Michael, Toby hadn't even been born yet-"
"I mean, he's the one that blew up the Hindenberg-"
"Michael, you're actually going further back in history on this one-"
"Well, he's definitely the real reason that . . . that sports team you like sucks, right?"
"Michael-"
Toby.
Yeah.
That's it, that's got to be it.
But Pam, wonderful, beautiful, darling Pam . . .
"You know you got yourself into this, right, Jim?"
. . . isn't having any of it.
"Yeah. Yeah, I know."
"I mean, sure, it got you out of work for the day and you obviously have never even frowned at a puppy-"
"I shooed that dog away one time-"
"-I'm sure they'll send you on your merry way pretty soon, I mean, they can only hold you for forty-eight hours anyway-"
"Just enough time to grab a nap and get my prison tat first, don't you think-"
"Yes, but I'm not sharing you with some guy named Buster, I'm a pretty jealous woman, Halpert-"
It really is Toby's fault after all.
Sorry for the title. I just couldn't stop laughing.
And I hope you enjoyed it too.
Thanks to darjeelingandcoke and dernhelm and invisiblecynic for giving this story a chance.
See you soon! :D