The Tired Mom's Club by MrsKHalpert
Summary: The Finer Thing's Club isn't Scranton's only exclusive club
Categories: Jim and Pam, Other Characters: Angela, Holly, Jim, Meredith, Nellie, Pam
Genres: Fluff, Humor, Kids/Family
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Completed: Yes Word count: 7172 Read: 2085 Published: October 17, 2022 Updated: October 17, 2022
Story Notes:

A few of you may recognise some of the chats in here. No copyright infringements intended on ourselves or The Office. I don't own anything here, apart from my own children. But the thing that I'm just trying to say to you, GraceFace, and to everyone else in this circle I guess, is HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Just you, not everyone in the circle. 

As always, thanks to YB for the beta, and to the Farty Party for the inspiration.

1. Thursday February 3rd, 2012 by MrsKHalpert

2. Thursday January 10, 2013 by MrsKHalpert

3. Wednesday April 28th, 2013 by MrsKHalpert

4. Saturday May 25th, 2014 by MrsKHalpert

5. Monday July 5th, 2015 by MrsKHalpert

6. Friday March 25th, 2016 by MrsKHalpert

Thursday February 3rd, 2012 by MrsKHalpert
Author's Notes:

This is set in season 8 between Jury Duty and Special Project, before Pam returns to work.

Thursday February 3rd, 2012 

Ok, you can do it, Pam thought to herself as she looked at the clock on the kitchen wall. Only 47 minutes until Jim will be home. 

She took a deep breath and turned her attention to Cece, sitting in the highchair, mushing her peas into the white plastic tray with her chubby little hand. "Come on Cees, please eat the peas. If you eat the peas, you can have a cookie." Please just eat the goddamn peas. She jiggled a spoonful of them towards Cece's mouth, but the toddler pursed her lips firmly shut and turned her head to the side.

Just then, Philip started wailing from his bassinet in the corner of the room. No, no, no, why are you awake again. Pam pushed herself up from the kitchen table and went to get the crying baby. "Shhhh," she soothed, holding Philip to her chest and bouncing slightly, "it's ok, mommy's got you." She walked around the kitchen bouncing slightly to try to get Philip to calm down.

"Gen, gen," Cece shouted from her highchair when ‘The Wheels on the Bus' finished playing, pointing at the small stereo in the corner of the kitchen.

Oh god, not again, Pam thought as she hit the back button and then play on the CD player to start the children's song again. She carried on bouncing Philip and started to leaf through the mail that lay unopened on the kitchen counter. Why's this one red? I always pay the bills on time, it's got to be a mistake. She opened the envelope and found a bill that she had no recollection of ever seeing before. Oh jeez, Jim you were meant to pay this. It's the one bill he's in charge of and he can't even do it. She grabbed the phone and dialled the number at the top of the letter to make the payment.

"Gen, gen," Cece shouted as the song finished again. 

"One minute sweetie, mommy's on the phone," she whispered to her daughter, holding the phone away from her mouth. "Sorry about that," she said to the man on the end of the phone.

"Gen, gen, gen," Cece screamed as Philip started to cry again.

"I'm so sorry, let me call you back," Pam said into the phone before quickly hanging up. 

"Gen, gen, gen, gen, gen," she shouted louder as Philip cried even more. 

"Ok, ok, ok," Pam snapped, hitting the buttons on the CD player to make the music play again. Cece immediately stopped streaming and began to bob her head to the music, happily throwing her peas around. 

Oh god, it's still 41 minutes until Jim is home, Pam groaned internally. Ok, pull it together, the walls aren't closing in just yet. Let's pass the time by speaking to an adult. "Shall we give Grandma a call?" she asked Cece. There was no real response from the toddler, just more head bobbing. "Oh no, we can't call Grandma. Again. She'll think mommy can't cope and we don't want her to think that, do we?" she said in a sing-song voice. "No we don't. How about Aunty Penny?" Pam dialled the number for her sister and waited, blowing raspberries to Cece with the phone pressed against her ear. After 7 rings, she gave up and hung up the phone. "How about Aunty Isabel? Oh no, she's at work. Silly mommy. Ummm, who can we call Cecebean? Oh let's call Gam Gam shall we?" Pam quickly dialled her mother-in-law's number and remembered her father-in-law's birthday was this weekend. "I bet daddy hasn't got Pop Pop a present yet like I asked him too has he?" she cooed to Cece. "Shall we add it to the list for tomorrow?"

"Hello," Betsy's voice came from the other end of the phone. 

"Hey Gam Gam, it's just us, calling to say hiiii," Pam said cheerfully.

"Pam, honey, I would love to talk but I'm right in the middle of setting up for my Kalooki evening. Can I call you back in the morning?"

"Oh there's no need, we were just calling to say hi. But we'll see you at the weekend for Pop Pop's party," Pam replied, her stomach sinking slightly. She hung up the phone and looked around the kitchen, wishing there was something to take her mind off of the mind numbing loneliness. Someone to speak to. Just 37 minutes til Jim's home.

Thursday January 10, 2013 by MrsKHalpert
Author's Notes:

This is set in season nine, directly after Lice

Thursday January 10, 2013

Pam: Thanks for tonight, I really needed it

Meredith: Anytime you want a beer, just call me

Pam: I will. And sorry again about the lice

Meredith: Don't worry, we've all been there

Pam smiled to herself as she put her phone on the nightstand, thinking how much of a good time she'd had with Meredith of all people. She smiled to herself at the thought of drinking pitchers of beer and singing karaoke, something she and Jim hadn't done for years, since before the kids were born. 

She looked around her bedroom and sighed at the pile of laundry that she'd put on the bed that morning and taken off again that evening, too tired after the day of work and evening out to even think of putting it away. Tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow. Oh, but there's Cece's ballet class and then we've got dinner at Penny's. Maybe I'll get up early and do it. She walked over to turn the main light off, tripping over Jim's running sneakers that he hadn't put away from his workout at the weekend. I literally have to tidy up after every single person in this house. She picked up the shoes and threw them into the back of Jim's closet, before walking around to her side of the bed. 

Pam sighed to herself as she pulled back the comforter and climbed into the unmade bed, having been too busy to make it properly before she had to run out the door for kindergarten drop off and work that morning. The bed felt cold without Jim in there next to her, the sheets too tight, the mattress too large. She moved her pillow more into the centre of the bed and reached her arm out onto Jim's side of the bed as if trying to reach out to him.

After ten minutes of tossing and turning, it was clear that Pam wasn't going to be falling asleep anytime soon, despite how exhausted she was. Her mind was going into overdrive thinking about everything that needed to be done tomorrow; drop the kids off, get Jim's suit dry cleaned, go to work, make Cece's outfit for her recital, pick up groceries for the week, do more laundry and clean the main bathroom. It really couldn't wait another week to be cleaned. Plus pick the kids up from her moms, make dinner, bathe them and put them to bed. She groaned slightly, thinking about the mammoth day that lay ahead of her, but still couldn't sleep. So instead she reached for her phone.

Pam: Hope you've had a good day. Can't wait to see you soon. Love you.

She waited for a few minutes to see if Jim would reply, but there was nothing. Probably at a business dinner. She sighed and was about to put her phone down, when she thought better of it.

Pam: I meant what I said about how much respect I have for you. I really don't know how you do this all on your own. You're a real superhero.

She placed her phone back down on the nightstand again and sunk down into the pillows, pulling the comforter tightly around herself, smiling at the thought of her new mom friend. 


Meredith: The real superhero was that bartender. He banged me three times last night. And his roommate too.

Pam's eyes widened as she read Meredith's text the next morning after she woke up, her head pounding. She tapped the buttons on the phone to go back and read the messages that Jim had sent her after she'd fallen asleep and quickly replied to him, before scrolling back to Meredith's message.

Pam: Wow. Sounds like you had a good night.

Meredith: Just another Tuesday night. 

Pam: Kinda different to my normal Tuesday nights LOL. But it was the most fun I've had in a long time. Thanks again.

Meredith: Any time kid. 

Pam looked at her phone and bit her lip. It felt great to let loose and have some fun for once, despite how she was currently feeling. It had been so hard since Jim started splitting his time between Scranton and Philadelphia, all Pam felt like she did anymore was work and look after two kids. Penny and Isabel always invited her out with their friends to crazy weekends away or bars to get guys to buy them drinks or expensive spas, but Pam couldn't do any of those with a family and a tight budget and a husband to think about. She also wasn't sure she wanted to do those things. She wanted to just have some regular fun, chat to someone in the same situation as her and get home at a reasonable hour.

Pam: Would you want to go out for a drink next Wednesday? Jim's in Philly.

Meredith: Sure thing. Pro tip. Next time get the kids to stay at your mom's, then the hangover doesn't seem so bad.

Pam laughed to herself, because just on cue, she heard Philip's cries over the baby monitor. She groaned, threw back the covers from the bed, and headed to calm the baby, tripping over Jim's slippers in the process.

Wednesday April 28th, 2013 by MrsKHalpert
Author's Notes:

This is set in season nine between Paper Airplane and Livin' The Dream.

Wednesday April 28th, 2013

Pam: Should we ask Angela to come out tonight?

Meredith: Why would we do that?

Pam: Because she's having a hard time at the moment, and she could probably use a friend.

Meredith: But it's Angela...

Pam: I know, but I'm sure she needs a break. It can't be easy in that studio she just moved into and being a newly single mom.

Pam's head snapped up from where she was texting Meredith, her phone hidden under her desk and turned to look at Meredith. She raised an eyebrow and motioned toward the accounting department. Meredith firmly shook her head as she put her phone back on her desk. Pam nodded her head again, more forcefully. Meredith rolled her eyes, sighed and pushed herself up out of her chair. She walked over to Angela's desk and stood there until Angela finally snapped.

"What?" Angela shouted, clearly frazzled.

"Uhh, Pam and I are going for a drink later. Wanna come?" Meredith reluctantly asked Angela  

"Why would I want to do that?" Angela snapped back.

"Because, because," Meredith said, looking around her as if trying to find the answer. Pam saw her and came over.

"Because we have a fun time and chat about mom stuff and drink," Pam quickly filled in. "It's nice to have someone to vent with." Pam smiled slightly at Meredith.

Angela visibly relaxed and seemed to be considering taking Pam and Meredith up on their offer. "Well, I don't have anyone to watch Philip even if I did want to come out with you two," she said, somewhat disappointed.

"What about if we came over to you?" Pam suggested. Meredith shrugged and nodded. "We could bring some wine and chips, and then you don't need to worry about a sitter." Pam wrung her hands together, almost hopefully.

Angela was silent for a moment. "Ok," she said quietly. "Come over after 8pm. I'll text you both my address."


Pam groaned the next morning as she woke up to the sound of a crying child. She was pretty sure it was Philip, but her head was so fuzzy, she wasn't quite sure. 

"I'll go," Jim said, yawning and pushing the covers off of his body.

"Thanks," Pam managed to croak out. She watched him shuffle out of the room, before rolling over and picking up her phone. She saw a notification for a WhatsApp group that Meredith had created last night and added her to, called ‘Tired Mom's Club' with a bottle of wine as its icon.

Meredith: So did you do it to him when you got home?

Pam groaned and put the phone back on her nightstand. She covered her eyes in embarrassment at the conversation, one of the many conversations, that had been shared last night after the first bottle of wine had disappeared. She put her phone back down again and pulled the covers over her head. 


Pam had been sitting at her desk, nursing a coffee when her phone buzzed. Jim looked up at the disturbance and smiled an easy smile over to her as she reached for the phone. Upon seeing the notification on the homescreen, she immediately flushed red and hid her phone under her desk to open it. 

Meredith: Pam, don't leave us hanging.

Angela: Can we please save this until after work? I do not want to discuss Jim Halpert's penis in the office. Thank you very much.

Meredith: You were happy to discuss it last night

Angela: I wasn't that happy. You forced us into it.

Meredith: So come on Pam. Did you do it? I know he'll like it

Pam: I'm with Angela, we can't discuss it here. I feel bad enough already that we were talking about it.

Meredith: Hey, that's what we're here for. Talk about the men, or lack of, in our lives. Moan about how tough we have it as working moms. Declare our love for our little shits of kids. And drink liquor to forget about it all. 

Pam: Ok, well, then let's forget about it until next Wednesday alright?

Angela: What's next Wednesday?

Pam: Oh, me and Meredith go for a drink every Wednesday. It's kinda become our thing we do. 

Meredith: Except last week when Jim stayed home and Miss Runs Back to her Man, ran back to her man.

Pam: Meredith, we've been over this. There was no way I could come out that night. We had so much to talk about. And things are good now.

Meredith: Yeah you told us just how good last night. 

Pam snapped her phone shut and threw it onto the desk, incredibly embarrassed at the conversation that was playing out on her phone, just inches from where Jim was sitting. 

"You ok Beesly?" he asked her, eyebrows knitted together slightly. 

"Oh, um, yeah, all good," she tried to smile back. "I'll be right back." She grabbed her phone and hurried to the bathroom.

Pam: Oh god, please don't say anything. I'm so embarrassed.

Angela: It is vulgar. I will not be thinking about or repeating what you told us Meredith. 

Meredith: Hell no! It's gonna be HOT.

Pam: Meredith!

Meredith: But what is said in TMC, stays in TMC. 

Pam breathed a sigh of relief as she looked in the mirror. She puffed out her cheeks, but then giggled slightly, remembering the conversation last night. Just then, the door to the women's bathroom swung open, and Angela walked in.

"Oh, um, hi," Pam said, her embarrassment returning to her flushed face. 

"Pam," Angela nodded curtly.

"You know, um," Pam tried to say, twisting her engagement ring around her finger by the stone. "What I said..." 

"There's no need," Angela interrupted, before walking into a still. "We can discuss it next Wednesday," she added quietly, before closing the door.

Saturday May 25th, 2014 by MrsKHalpert
Author's Notes:

This is set a week after the finale in The Office world, rather than ours (the finale was set a year later than 2013, so makes sense. Right?)

Saturday May 25th, 2014

Pam was wandering around Wegmans, pushing Philip in the cart, when she heard a baby screaming, and a British accent that she recognised trying to soothe it. She walked towards the commotion and was surprised to find Nellie in the middle of the aisle, bouncing a baby up and down in a baby carrier that was strapped to her chest.

"Nellie!" Pam exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Pam, hi," Nellie cautiously replied, looking shiftily around her. "I'm, uh, just getting some supplies for my, um, my nephew."

"Isn't that Ryan's baby?" Pam asked, clearly confused.

Nellie's shoulders slumped. "Oh god, Pam. It is. We've been hiding out since Angela and Dwight's wedding and I don't know what to do."

"Oh my god," Pam hissed. "Did you steal him?"

"What? Oh god no. Ryan left with Kelly and they've not come back. I've tried calling both of them, but neither phone is connected and no one knows where they are." 

"So are you just going to keep him?"

"I'm not sure what else I can do. You know how desperate I am for a baby, and I can't bear to see him grow up in ‘the system'," Nellie said with finger quotes. "So, we're just laying low for now."

"Are you not gonna go back to Poland?" Pam asked, as she handed Philip a snack.

"I can't. He hasn't got a passport, and I've no idea how to get him one. Oh god, Pam I don't know how to do anything. I'm a terrible mum, and I'm only one week in," she sobbed.

Pam put her arm around Nellie, trying not to squash Drake in the process. "Nellie, the first rule of being a mom, is never beat yourself up about it. You are doing the best you can possibly do for that little baby. I'm sure you can use some help though. I know just the people." Pam opened her purse and took out her phone, as Nellie gazed on, confused at what Pam was doing.

Pam: I've just bumped into Nellie in Wegmans, and SHE HAS RYAN'S BABY!!!! 

Meredith: What?!?

Angela: Excuse me? 

Pam: Ryan and Kelly just left the baby with her at your wedding and she's got no idea what she's doing. We need to help her. Emergency meeting tonight.

Meredith: Alright, get her address and we'll be there at 8pm

Angela: We have leftover beet wine from the wedding. I'll bring that.

Pam: You know what, I'm in Wegmans, I'll just pick some bottles up here 


The following Monday, it was a particularly slow afternoon, with both kids at kindergarten, no job, and no house to obsessively clean now that it had been sold. Jim was off running some errands for his dad and for the first time in her life, Pam felt she could relax, totally guilt free. After fixing herself a tea and settling onto the couch, she looked around and wondered what to do with herself. She flicked through Netflix, but couldn't find anything that she wanted to watch, or anything that she didn't have to wait to watch with Jim. She thought about starting a book, but realised it was unlikely that she'd ever have the time to finish it after her brief respite. Instead she reached for her phone. 

Pam: I don't think I showed you guys the house we put an offer in on.

Meredith: Shit me that's a nice place

Nellie: Bloody hell. That's insane. Bit of an upgrade.

Pam: I know, I was kinda surprised about how much we could get for our money down there.

Nellie: Maybe I'll move down there too. I can't stay living in a one bed flat anymore. Drake needs his own room. 

Meredith: Eh, it's fine. My kids both slept in the same room with me til they were 7 and 10. Never did them any harm.

Nellie: What about your husband?

Meredith: Oh he slept on the couch most nights. The nights when he was home anyway

Pam: Oh, I'm so sorry Meredith ♥

Meredith: Doesn't matter. He was a dick that I'm better off without

Meredith: So anyway, nice place Pam. Shame it means our Wednesday nights are gonna have to stop. When you moving? 

Pam: I know, I'm really sad about that. It's gonna be so weird. New place, no friends or family. You guys will have to come visit 

Nellie: Oh yeah, add me to the guest list please. But I'll have to drive down there. Or do I not need a passport on internal flights?

Pam: No you're good. Drake will be fine on a plane without a passport. And totally you have to come visit, and stay! I'm sure we can kick Jim and the kids out for the evening so we can do a proper TMC

Meredith: We better fucking do that

Nellie: I really hope we do. The other night was exactly what I needed. Think we can do another before you leave?

Pam: Absolutely we can. We get together every Wednesday night

Meredith: Depends who's got a sitter, or now that Jim's back, a husband 🙄. And then we just go to whoever's house 

Pam: Hey! 

Meredith: What?

Pam: I told you, leave Jim alone. It's not the Single Mom's Club, it's the Tired Mom's Club. Doesn't matter if Jim is around or not

Meredith: Alright, alright. I'm sorry. Don't get your panties in a twist.

Nellie: I mean, I'm not even a mum. Am I allowed to be in your club? 

Pam: Of course you are! You're totally a mom now you've got Drake. It's an amazing thing you're doing.

Meredith: Yeah, I wouldn't take in anyone else's kids. My two are all the heathens I need in my life

Pam: But you love them dearly 

Meredith: I guess

Pam: Meredith! 

Meredith: No, I do, I do. They're just assholes is all. 

Meredith: You're doing great kiddo.

Nellie: I'm really not sure I am. I mean, he's alive and all, and seems happy. But how do you know if you're doing a good job?

Meredith: Oh you never know. You just hope for the best

Pam: Yeah, it's all you can really do. And you're doing an amazing job 

Angela: I stepped away from my desk for 10 minutes to talk to Dwight and there were 33 message notifications

Pam: LOL

Nellie: Whoops

Meredith: Is that it?

Angela: Pam, I should kindly ask you not to distract everyone now you are no longer working. 

Pam: Sorry Angela.

Nellie: I'm no longer working. Does that mean I can't distract anyone either? 

Meredith: It was something to pass the time. Nothinggggg is going on here today. And now Jim's not even here to look at. 

Pam: Hey! 

Meredith: Your husband is hot. Take the compliment woman. 

Pam: Ok, fine thank you. 

Meredith: Can you send us a pic of him in the shower though?

Pam: Absolutely not

Meredith: Oh come on. I'd like to see wet Jim

Angela: I suggest we leave this conversation until after 5pm. Meredith, I don't want to have to inform the Regional Manager that you are slacking on your work.

Meredith: Well then don't tell him, duh 

Pam: Alright, I'll catch you guys later. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon

Nellie: Oh Pam, if you're not doing anything, want to go grab a coffee and have a walk?

Pam: Sure thing. I'll message you separately to sort it out. Bye guys

Meredith: Seeya


At exactly 5pm that evening, Pam's phone began buzzing as she was making dinner. Once she finally got the spaghetti sauce under control, she rinsed her hands and dried them with a dishcloth before reaching for her phone.

Meredith: Thank god today is over. Anyone wanna meet for an emergency drink tonight? 

Nellie: God yes. I've just been shat on.

Meredith: Oh nice. First time? 

Nellie: Yes! I had no idea that much shit could come out of such a small person. It's everywhere.

Meredith: You get used to it.

Angela: That never happened with Philip. 

Meredith: Course it didn't

Meredith: Just count yourself lucky you didn't have to grow the kid and squeeze it out. Lot worse things happen than getting shat on

Pam: Sorry I'm just getting dinner ready, but I'm around! 

Pam: And second that. Pregnancy is not fun.

Meredith: Oh god it's the worst. Between the morning sickness and the weight gain and the heartburn

Pam: Oh I forgot about the heartburn

Meredith: Not to mention how shitty your tits look after breastfeeding

Nellie: Shitty titties!

Angela: Well I cannot agree, I did not have any of those symptoms

Meredith: Yeah but you had a 10lb baby, so your coochie must be all stretched out at the very least

Angela: I will not be discussing my private parts with you.

Meredith: Oh right, that's only when we drink 😜

Meredith: So who's gonna come for a drink tonight?

Pam: I can't I'm afraid

Nellie: Wish I could, but I've got shit everywhere that I need to clean

Angela: No.

Pam: Oh we forgot peeing before. So much peeing when you're pregnant

Meredith: And gas. I used to fart myself awake at night

Meredith: Thank fuck I'm not having any more kids

Pam: I think we're done. I'm like 90% sure we're done.

Meredith: Unless you have another ‘surprise' lmao

Meredith: What about you Ange?

Angela: Yes, Dwight and I shall be having more children

Nellie: Does that mean what I think it means?!?!?!

Angela: What do you think it means?

Nellie: Are you pregnant????

Angela: No.

Meredith: Are you trying?

Angela: Not that it is any of your concern, but yes we are

Pam: Omg that's so exciting!!!!!

Nellie: Oh wowzer!

Meredith: I'm not sure I want to cheer on sex with Dwight. But, good luck I guess?

Angela: Thank you.

Pam: I've gotta get back to dinner, but Nellie, keep us updating on poopgate and let us know if you need any advice on it

Meredith: Just try not to get sprayed in the face, put a cloth over his wiener when you change him. GAME CHANGER

Pam: Oh yeah, I totally second that

Angela: And third it.

Nellie: Oh god, what am I doing? Send wine. Lots of wine please.

Meredith: I'm on my way.

Monday July 5th, 2015 by MrsKHalpert

Monday July 5th, 2015

Pam collapsed onto her California King and let out a breath that she felt like she'd been holding since Friday afternoon. She felt the white cotton comforter billow around her as Jim sunk down next to her.

"Why did we invite them for the whole weekend?" she groaned. 

"Wait," Jim said, propping himself up on his elbow. "I distinctly remember having a conversation where I said we shouldn't invite them. And then you said we should and then you did that thing that Meredith," he shuddered and shook his head, "told you about years ago and, well here we are, completely exhausted after a weekend with the Scotts." He collapsed onto his back and rubbed his eyes with his balled fists. "Never again."

"Oh god, you're right. I should never have done that thing, and then we wouldn't be in this mess."

"Woahh, wait a second there. I mean, I'm not saying I didn't like that. Just maybe don't use it as a bargaining tool next time," he laughed.

"I'm definitely not doing that if there's nothing in return," she said with a crook of her eyebrow and a grin. 

"Oh you are so dead, Beesly," Jim said as he lent over to tickle her.

"Stop, stop!" she shrieked. "We'll wake the kids." 

Jim leaned down to kiss her. "You're no fun," he laughed, before giving her a final kiss and then pulling himself off of the bed. "I'm just gonna take a shower."

"Alright. I can't be bothered. You'll just have to move the covers around me. I'm staying here tonight," she shouted at him.  After a few minutes, Pam rolled onto her stomach and grabbed her phone.

Pam: Was really great to see you guys.

She sent the message and couldn't help herself from typing another. She winced as she hit the letters of the keyboard, and closed her eyes to press send.

Pam: We should definitely do it again soon.

Holly: Oh definitely. We'd love to

Holly: I had such a great time just catching up with you. I guess I'm so busy being the breadwinner that I never get any time to just chat mom things, because Michael always does the kid stuff. His circle of moms is HUGE! 🤣🤣

Pam stared at the message she just received and wondered if she should add Holly into her little group. She quickly switched over to WhatsApp and typed a message.

Pam: I was just talking to Holly and she was saying it's nice to speak to another mom for once. Should I add her in here?

Nellie: Who's Holly? 

Pam: Oh! She's Michael Scott's wife. Remember we told you about our old, old boss?

Nellie: Oh god. 

Meredith: Yeah, what gives Pam?  

Angela: I have to agree. Plus she didn't come to my wedding. It's just plain rude.

Pam: You know that wasn't her fault, Angela. 

Angela: Even so.

Meredith: Isn't she a bit peppy for us?

Nellie: We are definitely an odd little group. Maybe we'll be TOO MUCH for her.

Meredith: Oh I'm sure we definitely would be.

Pam: What do you say guys? Shall we add her in?

Nellie: Definitely. The more the merrier. You guys were so nice to me when I needed support, we should definitely be there for her.

Meredith: Alright. But if she tries to get me fired again, I'm kicking her out. 

Angela: Fine. 

Pam: Awesome!

Nellie: Won't she be able to see this discussion about her? 

Meredith: Nah. She only sees what is written after she joins.

Pam: So be nice everyone!

Pam added Holly

Meredith: When aren't we nice??

Meredith: Oh hey Holly, long time no speak. How are you? 

Holly: Omg Meredith!! It's so good to talk to you! How are you? 

Meredith: I'm good, still at DM. No one's managed to kick me out YET 

Meredith: LOL 

Meredith: Kidding

Pam: So Holly, I don't think you know Nellie - she started working at the office after you and Michael moved 

Nellie: Great to meet you Holly

Holly: Likewise. And great to be here, nice to chat to you guys again

Angela: Hello Holly

Holly: Angela! So great to speak to you again! How are you?

Angela: Fine, thank you.

Pam: She's more than fine, she's pregnant!

Holly: Oh that's amazing, congratulations!

Angela: Thank you. Although, there's no congratulations needed until the baby is born. 

Meredith: Thank fuck I'm not having any more kids

Nellie: Oh don't say that, I can't wait to have more

Pam: Really? What happened to last week when you were saying one is a lot of children?

Nellie: Oh that's DEFINITELY true. How you guys have more than one kid, I really don't know. But I think it would be fun to have another when Drake is a bit older.

Nellie: And should I change his name? I kind of hate Drake

Pam: I guess you can. I'm not sure how it works really without a birth certificate and stuff. 

Angela: I hope you pick a more suitable name than Ryan did

Holly: You were with Ryan??

Nellie: Oh god no. He's Drake's dad.

Holly: Wait. I'm confused. But he's your son?

Pam: Has everyone got some wine ready for story time?

Meredith: On it

Nellie: Already drinking

Angela: Let me get a small Chardonnay

Holly: I've only got a beer in the fridge. Is that ok?

Meredith: Oh kiddo, if you're gonna be hanging with us, you gotta stock up

Meredith: It'll do for now though 


A week later, Pam was leaving her gynaecologist appointment when she looked at her phone and saw 378 WhatsApp notifications. As she walked to her car, she opened the app and began the catch up on what she'd missed.

Pam: Guys, how do I have 378 messages from you?? I've only been gone an hour

Meredith: Oh how was the smear?

Pam: Was fine. They used the plastic duck one, not the horrible metal one

Angela: That's lucky. Mine only has the metal one. I hate how cold it is

Meredith: I like the cold. It gets me going

Angela: That's disgusting

Meredith: Hey don't yuck my yum. I don't say how gross your sex life is

Angela: A smear test is not a sex life

Pam: Thank god there isn't a man hiding in this group. I'd be mortified if a guy ever read even half the stuff we talk about

Angela: I agree.

Holly: Oh shoot, this reminds me, I really need to book my next one

Nellie: I need to register with a doctor, I've not had one in years

Angela: That's incredibly irresponsible, you need to take care of yourself. Especially now that you're a mother

Nellie: I know, I know. I wouldn't wanna leave Ben on his own or with another stranger

Pam: Are we going with Ben this week then?

Nellie: I'm trying it. Charlie didn't seem to suit him.

Angela: I think Benjamin is a fine choice

Nellie: Me too. Someone needs tell Ben that he's not supposed to fart on his mum though

Meredith: Oh they never grow out of that faze. Jakey still does it now. Finds it hilarious

Pam: Oh god. Philip's just started doing it. He comes up to me on the couch, crawls up like he's going to hug me and then farts in my face and runs away giggling. So gross.

Holly: Yup, same over here. Except Michael does it too. He was the one that showed the kids. Finds it hilarious 🙄

Pam: Ok guys, I gotta drive home, I'll be back in about 20 mins

Friday March 25th, 2016 by MrsKHalpert

Nellie: Happy birthday Pam!!!!

Meredith: Have a great one kid

Angela: Many happy returns

Holly: Happy happy birthday Pam!

Pam sleepily blinked her eyes open and reached for her phone to check her messages. After spending the night away with Jim at a hotel in San Antonio, she'd really hoped to sleep in, but her internal body clock wasn't letting her. She scrolled through the various messages, including a video of the kids that her mom had sent, and played it as quietly as she could.

"Whyyouawake?" Jim mumbled as he rolled over to spoon Pam, having been woken by the sound of the video of his squealing children. 

"Sorry," she whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek as she rolled over.

"Happy birthday baby," he croaked, bending down to kiss her and push her on her back. She wrapped her arms around him, pushed her fingers through his hair, and forgot all about her phone.


After a leisurely morning spent in bed, followed by breakfast in the hotel, Jim and Pam spent the morning exploring downtown San Antonio. They walked hand in hand along the River Walk sipping coffees, visited the Public Art Garden and spent hours in the galleries and boutiques of La Villita choosing Pam's birthday present. 

While Pam was looking at the 15th silk scarf of the morning, trying to decide whether or not this was the one she wanted Jim to buy her, he received a work call and ducked outside to answer it. After deciding that it most definitely wasn't the right scarf, Pam wandered outside to see Jim sitting on a bench talking on his phone. She went over the bench and sat down next to him, taking out her own phone to finally reply to her messages.

Pam: Thanks guys!!! Having SUCH A GREAT DAY!

Nellie: How's the hotel? 

Pam: Oh it's so amazing. This whole place is. Can't believe how long we've lived in Texas for and never been here before 

Holly: Oh I'm so happy you're having a great day! What did Jim get you? 

Pam: We're on the hunt for a silk scarf at the moment

Meredith: Oh is that what you guys are into? 

Angela: What does that mean?

Meredith: Like tying each other up and stuff. Is that your kink? 

Pam: Um, what? I just want a scarf haha 

Meredith: I bet Jim's into feet. He strikes me like a foot guy. Does he like a toe job? 

Pam: Meredith!! 

Angela: What's a toe job?

Meredith: You know, like sucking toes. Getting your toes sucked.

Nellie: Oh no, I bet he's more into blindfolds and stuff 

Holly: No she told us at Christmas remember? He's into toys 

Meredith: Oh yeahhh and you bought him that thing you found for his Christmas gift. I remember now. 

Pam flushed red at the conversation as Jim flashed a smile at her, mouthing ‘sorry' and pointing to the phone. She shook her head slightly, mouthing ‘no worries' back at him. 

Pam: Ok we definitely not talking about my husband's kinks at 2pm on a Friday afternoon. 

Holly: Hehe!

Angela: I quite agree

Meredith: You're no fun

Nellie: So what are you doing for the rest of your birthday?

Pam: We're heading home later tonight and going out for dinner. Then tomorrow Jim's got the kids all day, and I'm going to a spa with my mom. 

Holly: That sounds amazing. I'm so jealous 

Nellie: God yes. I definitely could use some relaxation in a spa 

Meredith: Think your massage will come with a happy ending? 

Angela: Oh for goodness sake 


The following evening, Pam returned home to a bedraggled Jim, slumped at the kitchen table, as both kids stared at their own iPads, shovelling boxed mac and cheese into their mouths.

"You ok babe?" she asked as she placed a kiss on the top of his head.

"They killed me. Like I'm dead. So dead. I don't know how you do it," Jim groaned, resting his head on top of his folded arms.

"What can I say, I'm Wonder Woman," she laughed. "Did you make it to the story session at the library?"

"No. Phil had a meltdown and Cece refused to get her shoes on, would only wear her slippers. So we all spent some time in the thinking corner, and eventually we went to the park. Oh, but not before three more meltdowns at the store when we went to pick up the groceries. And then when we got home, Phil dropped his new Captain America toy in the toilet as he was peeing. So that was fun. Why is nothing easy with kids?"

"So you thought anymore about?" she asked, making a scissoring motion with her fingers.

Jim winced and immediately his hands shot down to his crotch. "I know, I know. I will. It's just. It's gonna hurt so bad."

"You know I pushed two children out of me, without any pain relief. This is nothing, You can have it done on your lunch break." 

"I'll call the doctor next week." 

"You said that last week," she said with a raised eyebrow. "I'm just gonna take a shower to wash all this oil off of me. I'll be down in 20. That ok?" 

"Hurry back," he pleaded. 

Pam laughed to herself as she left the kitchen and headed up the stairs, pausing to grab her phone from her purse in the foyer. She groaned at the 231 messages she'd missed whilst she been gone all day, and quickly tried to catch up.

Pam: Sorry, I've been out all day, just caught up

Pam: Meredith I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with Jake

Pam: Nellie, have you tried the pacifier fairy? 

Pam: Holly, I'm gonna need you to get Michael to talk to Jim again

Nellie: No, what's that? 

Pam: It's this story that you read them, and at the end, they put their pacifier on a table and in the morning it gets replaced with a present from the fairy and then if they want the pacifier back, they have to give the present back. And they never want to. Works a treat

Angela: Or you just maybe shouldn't have given him a pacifier in the first place

Meredith: I'm telling you. Boys are just shits. Men are shits. Just when I think he can't get worse he does.

Nellie: It's not like I had a choice, he came with one! 

Nellie: Oh god, is there no hope for Ben then Meredith?

Meredith: Probably not

Pam: Don't say that. Phil is pretty good most of the time. Although I think he gave Jim the runaround today

Holly: Oh how was he watching both of them? And what do you need Michael to talk to him about?

Pam: The snip!

Pam: I think after today he's definitely doesn't want anymore kids 

Meredith: Don't blame him.  

Angela: Even Dwight struggles to look after both of the kids on his own. I don't know what it is with men and trying to look after children

Meredith: Hear that? Even Dwight

Holly: It's totally the opposite in our house. I'm the one that struggles to look after them! Michael's a natural. I don't know how he does it 

Pam: But Michael is....Michael

Holly: I totally lost it today while he was at his improv class. The kids were driving me crazy. I almost got in the car and drove to come see you Pam

Pam: You know our guest bedroom is always ready and waiting for you!

Nellie: I might come too. If this pacifier thing doesn't work out, I'm gonna need an escape plan. 

Pam: Oh we should totally organise a get together. It's been so long since we were all together. We're heading to Scranton next month for Jim's mom's birthday, maybe we can organise something? Holly, could you fly in?

Holly: Oh I'll definitely make it work. And you know Michael would jump at the chance to say hi. We could definitely use a break

Nellie: Tell me about it. I feel like I've been tired for two years

Meredith: Try 24 years!!

Angela: You're welcome to stay at Shrute Farms, I'm sure I can talk Dwight out of charging you for the night 

Holly: Oh that would be great!

Pam: Oh I think we'll stay with Jim's parents, but thank you for the offer. But this sounds great!

Pam: Will be so nice to see you guys. Maybe we can try and see some of the others from the office too while we're in town  

Nellie: Oh you know who I bumped into today in the drug store? Erin. She was looking at pregnancy tests. She said her and Pete have been trying for a little while

Pam: Oh wow! 

Nellie: I was thinking we should invite her to this group

Holly: I think we'd scare her before she's even had the kid 

Meredith: Yeah, we're like the best kind of birth control there is. They won't be trying anymore after speaking to us

Angela: Perhaps we wait until she's had a baby

Pam: Yeah good idea 

Pam: Alright, I'm meant to be showering. I'll chat to you guys later! 


"Beesly, are you ever going to go to sleep?" Jim sleepily asked as he rolled over to spoon Pam later that night. He was met with silence, and then a giggle to herself. "Pam?" he tried again.

"Huh? Oh, yeah sorry," she said over her shoulder, her eyes not leaving her phone. "Two minutes." 

Pam: Omg I didn't realise the time, I gotta go to sleep guys

Meredith: Sleep or bone town?

Angela: Meredith that's vile. 

Nellie: Oh no, you should most definitely do Jim. I would if I were there

Holly: Same. But don't tell Michael.

Pam: Ok, goodnight guys

Nellie: Night Pam! Xxxx 

Holly: Night!!

Angela: Goodnight.


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