The Twelve Pranks of Christmas by MrsKHalpert
Summary:

On all the days of Christmas, Jim's true love gave to him...the gift of pranking

For the 2022 Holiday Fic Challenge.


Categories: Jim and Pam Characters: Dwight, Jim, Jim/Pam, Pam
Genres: Fluff, Holiday, Humor
Warnings: Mild sexual content
Challenges: None
Series: Holiday Fic Challenge 2022
Chapters: 14 Completed: Yes Word count: 22561 Read: 5300 Published: December 11, 2022 Updated: December 24, 2022
Story Notes:

So by some festive miracle, the Christmas fic I decided to write not only lined up with the request I got from my Secret Santa, but also the festive word challenge worked out perfectly. Thank fudge for that.

So Merry Christmas Robert Dunder. Looks like you got your Christmas special after all.

Thanks as always to YB for the ‘beta' on this one. 

I don't own anything here, apart from an extensive knowledge of Christmas movies.

1. Moroccan Christmas by MrsKHalpert

2. Candy Canes by MrsKHalpert

3. Special Delivery by MrsKHalpert

4. Jim-gerbread Men by MrsKHalpert

5. Dwight, you don?t look your-elf today by MrsKHalpert

6. Festive Farmer by MrsKHalpert

7. Just tie me up with a bow by MrsKHalpert

8. Let me take an elfie by MrsKHalpert

9. Naughty or Nice? by MrsKHalpert

10. Mrs Claus by MrsKHalpert

11. Detective Dwight by MrsKHalpert

12. Take a day off by MrsKHalpert

13. I Believe by MrsKHalpert

14. Merry Prankmas by MrsKHalpert

Moroccan Christmas by MrsKHalpert
Author's Notes:

Friday, 10th December

"Enabler! Enabler, enabler, enabler, enabler, enabler," Michael shouted as everyone in the intervention circle began to get up. "It's Christmas and we are turning our back on somebody who is asking for help."

"Hey, do you wanna do our gift swap now?" Jim whispered to Pam as they made their way away from Michael. 

"Oh sure. Let me just grab it," Pam smiled. "Meet you in the breakroom in a few minutes?" 

"Sounds great."

Jim carefully pulled out the large flat gift that he'd secretly tucked away underneath his desk a week ago so that Pam wouldn't be able to find it. He tried to hide the smile from his face as he walked through the kitchen to the breakroom, silently confident that Pam was going to love his present to her. He pushed open the door to the break room, sat down at one of the tables and laid the gift on the table. Before he had much time to do anything, the door swung open and Pam walked in with a nervous smile tugging at her lips. She pulled a flat gift from behind her back that was smaller than Jim's, and laid it carefully on the table next to his. 

"You first," Jim said, nudging the larger gift towards Pam before she was even properly sitting down.

"Thank you," she smiled as she turned the gift open so that she could slide her finger underneath the tape and carefully take off the paper without ripping it. She found herself looking at the back of a photo frame, and slowly turned it over. "It's a map," she stated, quite unsure with what she was looking at. "A map of," she paused, "Scranton?"

"Well, it is a map of Scranton, but look closer," he said with a wide smile. He stared at her as she leaned closer and watched her eyes grow wide in understanding.

"Oh my god," she gasped with a laugh. "Jellybean Avenue, Pickles Park, Cugino Street," she read out as she traced the map with her finger. She looked up at him with a beaming smile. "Thank you," she whispered, before looking down at the map again. 

"I was thinking that maybe we could hang it over the hole in the wall where the clown used to be? At least until we fix it. Or you know, maybe..."

"That's perfect," Pam smiled, putting her hand on Jim's arm to stop him talking. "Ok, your turn," she said, pushing the smaller flat gift towards Jim, before she tucked her hands under her legs and leaned slightly forward in anticipation.

As Jim unwrapped the gift, he glanced up at Pam and flashed her a smile, before turning his attention back downwards. He ripped the paper open to reveal a large card. Hand drawn letters in a candy cane font dominated the front, as well as small caricatures of Dwight dressed up as Santa, an elf, a snowman, a gingerbread man, a reindeer and his head on the top of a Christmas tree. "The Twelve Pranks of Christmas," he read out from the front of the card with a big grin, before opening it up. "Beesly, this is seriously amazing", he marvelled. Inside, on each side of the card were six numbered pockets, each holding an envelope. Jim laid the card down and reached for the envelope in the number one pocket. 

"Nuh uh," Pam said, quickly snatching the envelope out of Jim's hand. 

"I can't open my own Christmas gift?" he laughed, trying to grab the envelope back, but Pam pulled it further out of reach. 

"Well, it's kinda a mix between the Twelve Days of Christmas and an advent calendar," Pam explained as she tucked the envelope back into its slot. "So, you get to open an envelope a day from Monday until Christmas Eve." 

"So what do I get on Christmas day then?" he asked with a smirk. 

"What am I getting on Christmas day, huh?" she challenged back, but Jim just bit his lips and shook his head. "I was gonna make it end on Christmas day, but I figured you might be otherwise occupied."

"Oh yeah?" he waggled his eyebrows. 

"Yeah," she laughed back. "You mom wants us at her house at 9am sharp. No excuses. She was very clear about that."

"Ok, ok," he smiled, closing the card. "So I really have to wait til Monday to open the first envelope?"

"You really have to wait til Monday to open the first envelope," she repeated, smiling with her tongue between her teeth.  

"Alright," he sighed as he pushed his chair back from the table. "Come on, let's go see if Michael is still torturing Meredith." 

Candy Canes by MrsKHalpert
Author's Notes:
Monday, 13th December

"Ughhh," Pam groaned, as the alarm clock rang an hour earlier than usual. She swatted at it to try to turn it off, but missed. When it magically turned itself off, she propped herself up on her elbows to look at how it had done that and was greeted with a pyjama-clad Jim holding the off button down. "Why are you up?" she croaked, sinking back down into the pillows and trying to pull the comforter up around her neck. 

"Because I get to open the first envelope," Jim said, practically bouncing on his heels. "Come on, get up." He tried to pull the covers away, but Pam steadfastly held onto them. 

"No," came her muffled reply. "Five more minutes."

"Ugh, you're the worst. Ok, I'll bring it in here," he conceded, before practically running down to the living room and back up with the advent calendar. He plopped himself down cross legged on his side of the bed, pushing the covers out of the way, much to Pam's chagrin, and opened the large card on his lap. He pulled out the envelope labelled ‘one' and quickly opened it, pulling out a postcard that had been decorated with a candy cane motif. In the centre of the card was Pam's neat curly handwriting. "Letting Dwight have his pens only causes him gains. Swap them all out with some striped candy canes," he read out.

"Go look in my closet," Pam said, just about having woken up due to Jim's excitement. He grinned and leapt up like a labrador to run to find what was waiting for him. "Behind my skirts," she shouted to him.

He walked back, holding an old Hammermill box, filled with Christmas treats. He placed it on the bed and started rifling through it. "So today's prank, is to replace all of Dwight's stationery with candy canes? Isn't that kinda like just when we did it with crayons?"

"Well, kinda. But with that he could still at least write," she shrugged. 

"Oooh, Beesly, you are ruthless," he laughed. 

"Besides, it was a good prank, and you've recycled pranks before."

"Oh yeah, like what?" 

"My CIA one? You did that again like two months ago."

"Oh yeah," he laughed, rummaging around in the box again, his hands brushing over  

Pam laughed as she tried to nudge him off of the bed with her leg. "Alright, you better get going if you're gonna set everything up. I'll see you there?" she asked, sinking back down into the pillow and pulling the comforter up around her chin.

"Alright," he laughed, before placing a kiss in her hair, pretty much the only part of her that was visible.

--

"Morning Dwight," Jim called brightly, as Dwight walked behind him to sit down at his desk. 

"Why are you in so early?" Dwight asked suspiciously as he sat down and placed his briefcase on his desk. He opened it and took out his stapler and placed it in his drawer, before closing his briefcase and putting it on the floor underneath his desk.

"Just want to try and get in some extra sales. You know, we missed some time from the party on Friday, and I don't want to get behind," Jim lied.

"I see," Dwight said, as he turned his computer on, seemingly not noticing that his usual silver pencil cup had been replaced with a Santa mug, full of candy canes. Or that the pile of papers that usually sat to the right of his keyboard, directly in front of his phone, had seemingly disappeared and been replaced with a side of a gingerbread house. Or the small pile of sugar cookies that had replaced his ink stamp. "That is very conscientious of you."

"So how was your weekend?" Jim asked, leaning back in his chair.

"Jim, if you are here to work early, I suggest you call your clients, rather than make idle chit-chat with me," Dwight said, his eyes never leaving the screen. 

"You got it," Jim smiled at Dwight's profile. He picked up the phone receiver and dialled a number, just as Pam walked into the office. ‘Hi,' he mouthed to her, the phone wedged between his ear and his shoulder.

"Good morning Dwight," Pam called as she sat down at reception. 

"I'm sure it will be," he replied, not looking up from his screen as he continued to hit buttons on his keyboard. Jim and Pam glanced at each other and tried to stifle their growing smiles. "What are you two idiots smiling about?" Dwight asked, eyes still trained on his monitor. 

"Oh just something from the weekend," Pam began. "We were at the..." 

"Don't care," Dwight rudely interrupted as he picked up his phone receiver and dialled a number. "Good morning. This is Dwight Shrute. May I speak to Mr Green please? Yes, I'll hold." He went to reach for a pen, but instead grabbed a candy cane. It was only when he brought it over to where he should have been able to write on an order form that he noticed the order form was missing and he was not holding a pen. "What is..." Dwight trailed off, as he dropped the candy cane and let the receiver fall to his lap. He glanced around his desk, finally noticing the Santa cup full of candy canes and the small pile of sugar cookies. "Where is my stuff? What is going on?" Jim just shook his head and put his finger in his ear as if to block Dwight out from the call he was having. "Jim, I know this was you, give me back my...," he trailed off as he heard a voice coming from the other end of the line in his lap.

"...llo? Dwight, are you there?" Mr Green said through the receiver.

"I'm here. Apologies for that, there must be a problem with the line. Now, I see from your last order three months ago that you must almost be out of the premium colour copy paper, and wondered if you would like to restock today?" He paused to listen to the voice on the other end of the phone. "You would? Great. Let me just get my...dammit Jim. No, no. Not you Mr Green. Could you just give me one moment please?" Dwight pressed the receiver to his chest as tried to lean over Jim's desk to snatch a pen. 

Jim covered his own receiver with his hand and ‘tsk'd' at Dwight. "Dwight, I'm on call, this is unprofessional." 

"Gimme that," Dwight said as he lunged again, but Jim wheeled himself and his pencil cup backwards, just out of reach. "Ughh," he grunted. He picked up the phone again to talk to Mr Green. "I'm very sorry about that," he said, looking around his desk. He picked up the small white squeezy tube of frosting, and placed the phone on his shoulder and lent on it with his head to keep it in place. "So how many boxes would you like to order?" he asked as he unscrewed the small cap from the tube and tried to squeeze out the number 20 onto the piece of gingerbread. "And is there anything else?" He paused again as Mr Green carried on talking. "Ok, four boxes of premium cardstock." He squeezed out a large four. "Great, I'll get those processed and shipped to you today. Yup. Yes. And happy holidays to you too."

Dwight slammed down the phone and glared at Jim. "What?" Jim asked. 

"Just give me back my pens and order forms. I can't work like this, idiot," Dwight said.

"Um, can't do that," Jim said. "I don't have your stuff."

"I know it was you," Dwight said as the phone began to ring at reception. "Give me a pen before I tell Michael."

Dwight's extension rang, and Pam peered over her desk, nodding for him to pick it up. "I have Mr Powers returning your call from last week." 

Dwight sighed and picked up the receiver before trying one last attempt to grab a pen from Jim's desk. "Good morning Mr Powers," he said dejectedly, as he picked up the tube of icing and unscrewed the cap.

Special Delivery by MrsKHalpert
Author's Notes:
Tuesday, 14th December

"What did I tell you about setting the alarm so early?" Pam groaned as yet again, the alarm went off an hour before it was meant to. "Maybe we should start opening these in the evening instead?"

"Don't be such a grump. Remember how early you had me up on Black Friday to go shopping? I didn't see you complaining then," Jim said as he opened up the large card.

"Yeah, but there were important things to buy then."

"Beesly, pranking is far more important than shopping. Especially pranking Dwight," he grinned. "Ok so what do we have today?" he asked, pulling the envelope that had ‘two' written on the front. He ripped it open to reveal a postcard that had been decorated like an envelope with a cartoon of Dwight for the stamp. "Santa can't reply to kids on his own. Get Dwight to help him without a single moan." He looked up from the card with a confused look on his face, and gave Pam a questioning look, his eyebrows knitted together. "So what am I doing?" 

"Here," she said, having grabbed a small slip of paper from her night stand and passed it over to Jim. "This is Craig from the Post Office, he's expecting your call. I know his wife, Sarah, from my old art class and I bumped into her at the grocery store last week, and she said how stressed Craig was. He's been looking for volunteers to help reply to kids' letters that are addressed to Santa, and no one is around, so I said I was sure you'd be able to help," she smiled with her tongue between her teeth. 

"Wow," Jim laughed. "Dwight's gonna have a busy day I guess." He leant forward to give Pam a chaste kiss on her lips. "Alright, I better go call Craig then," he said as he got up to leave the bed.

"The Post Office doesn't open for like three more hours, why don't you come back to bed?" she suggested, her cheeks getting pinker by the second.

"My, my, pranking's got you in the mood, huh?" Jim laughed, as he placed the card on the floor, before climbing into bed and pulling the covers over his head, causing Pam to let out a giggle. 

-- 

Dwight had just returned from a bathroom break, when he noticed a large grey plastic sack sitting next to his desk as he walked through the bullpen. "What is this?" he shouted to no one in particular as Jim, Phyllis and Andy were all on sales calls. "Stanley? Where did this come from?" he asked loudly after there was no response. 

"I do not know, and I do not care," Stanley drawled, his eyes never leaving his crossword puzzle book.

Dwight looked around him and saw the top of Pam's head over the reception desk. "Pam, what is the sack by my desk?" he demanded.

"Oh hey Dwight," she breezed. "The mail guy dropped it off a few minutes ago. Just asked for you and I pointed him to your desk. What is it?" she asked, standing up to peer over the high desk. 

Dwight began rifling through the sack pulling out dozens upon dozens of coloured envelopes, all covered in scrawly childish handwriting. All with the same address: Santa Claus, The North Pole. "Oh no, no, no, no," Dwight sighed, the envelopes falling onto his desk. "This sack is full of letters to Santa, they've sent it to the wrong person."

"There's something taped to the side of the sack," Pam pointed out as she leaned over her desk. "What's it say?" Dwight pulled at the envelope that had been sticky taped to the side of the sack and opened it cautiously. His eyes quickly scanned the handwritten note before he groaned and slumped back in his chair. "What?" Pam asked, her eyebrows knitted together in slight pretend confusion.

"It says ‘Dear Dwight, you have been recruited by the United States Postal Service for a very special festive mission. We need you to respond to each child's letter by the end of the day so that they can keep believing in Santa. You'll find Santa's stationery, as well as a tube of magic elf dust (glitter) that needs to be sprinkled with love into each letter. Someone will be back to collect the letters at 5pm. We're counting on your Dwight, don't let us down. Regards, USPS.'" Dwight looked up at Pam with wide eyes and then down at the sack with the letters spilling out over his desk and the floor. "How am I going to get all these letters written today? Pam, you've got to help me." 

"I'm really sorry Dwight, Michael wants me to help him with his Christmas shopping today, so I'm gonna be out all day. Maybe Jim can help you when he's back though?" she offered with a glint in her eye.

"Absolutely not. I wouldn't let Jim Halpert near anything as important as this. Ugh," he huffed, "I'll just have to do it myself." And with that, he cleared his desk, placing his keyboard on the cabinet to his left and shoving his phone and other papers onto Jim's desk, and put a pile of the letters on his desk. 

-- 

"What do we have here?" Jim asked with a smirk as he pulled his chair out from where it was tucked under his desk after returning from his sales call. He sat down, leaning back into the chair with a wide smile as Dwight feverishly continued writing, oblivious to the red glitter that was all over his face.

"Shut up, idiot. I don't have time to explain," Dwight barked.

"Dwight's got an important job from the USPS," Pam explained, causing Jim to upturn the corners of his mouth and raise his eyebrows with a nod as if saying ‘oh'. "He needs to reply to all the kids' letters to Santa on his behalf." 

"Not on his behalf, as Santa. As Santa. Pam, we've been over this," Dwight said, clearly exasperated.  

"Sorry Dwight," she said meekly.

"Hey Dwight," Jim began as he pointed to his face, but was cut off.

"No," Dwight boomed as he took another letter off of the pile. "What is this? This idiot kid has sent a letter addressed to the Easter Bunny. Don't they know it's the wrong holiday?" Dwight tutted as he balled up the letter and threw it in the trash. 

"I'm not sure you should do that," Jim warned, walking over to the garbage can to pick the crumpled letter. 

"Why not?" Dwight mocked.

"Because some little kid is gonna be really sad that the Easter Bunny didn't write back to them. And you don't wanna disappoint a child, now do you Dwight?" Jim said as he straightened up the letter and placed it back onto the top of the pile on Dwight's desk. "Oh, and you've got a little glitter just, well, kinda all over," he said as he tried to wipe at Dwight's face, but Dwight deftly defended himself. 

"Woah, woah, woah," Michael shouted as he walked over to the two bickering salesmen. "What are you guys doing?" 

"Dwight just has a little something on his face," Jim said, pointing to the red mess engulfing Dwight.

"Oh god, Dwight. It looks like you've been kissing strippers or something. Why is there glitter all over your face?" Michael asked, getting too close to Dwight's face to examine it. 

"It's the magic elf dust," Dwight explained as if it were obvious.

"What?" Michael asked, clearly confused. "Nope, don't have time. Pamela, are you ready?" Pam nodded and stood to take her coat from the rack. Michael walked over to the exit but turned and pointed to Dwight. "If you're writing all your kiddie letters today, you better not be doing it on company time. Make sure you take a personal day." 

"But, I've got to..."

"Nope, not interested. Unless you're at that desk making sales, you're not getting paid by Dunder Mifflin today," Michael said as he turned.

"But you're going Christmas shopping," Dwight shouted after him.

"Sorry buddy, I don't make the rules," Michael yelled back.

--

Several hours later, Michael strode back into the bullpen and walked straight into his office, slamming the door behind him. Pam followed into the main office several moments later, carrying several large paper bags.

"What's up with him?" Jim asked as he walked over to reception and began rifling through the pot of jellybeans in front of him.

"Oh, he's mad because the Night Swept gift set that he wanted to buy himself for Christmas was all sold out," Pam explained as she hung up her coat and scarf. "How's he getting on?" she asked quietly, with a nod of her head towards Dwight. 

Jim surreptitiously looked over his shoulder at Dwight who was currently holding one hand in the other by the wrist and flexing his fingers. "I think he's starting to cramp up. Craig should be here in," he paused to look at his watch, "10 minutes, so he's almost done."

Pam giggled and looked up at Jim. "Did you get any work done today?" she asked.

"There were a couple of calls, but honestly, just listening to Dwight talk as he writes has taken up my whole day. It's just been an absolute blast. ‘Dear Sammy, I see you've been a very good boy this year so you will definitely be receiving a Tickle Me Elmo, love Santa'," he said, impersonating Dwight. 

"Go on, you better get back to him then," Pam laughed.

Just before five, the main door to the office opened and Craig walked in, wearing his USPS uniform. He went to smile and wave at Pam, but before anyone could see him, she loudly greeted him to stop him blowing her cover. "Hello, can I help you?" she practically boomed.

"Oops," he quietly said, putting his hand over his mouth. "I'm here to pick up some letters from Santa?" he said loudly.

"Sure, one moment," she said, walking around her desk, passing Craig on the way. "Hey Dwight, the mail guy is here. Are you all done?" 

"No, no, no, just five more minutes," Dwight practically sobbed.

"We'll help," Pam said, nudging Jim with her hip to get him to move. They both grabbed a sheet of the Santa stationery and quickly scribbled a reply each. 

"Don't forget the magic elf dust," Dwight said, shaking the glitter at them. 

"Thanks bud," Jim said, looking down at his crotch, which was now covered in red glitter.

"Ok, that's the last one," Dwight said a few minutes later. He grabbed the letters that Jim and Pam had been writing and stuffed them into the sack with the rest of the ones that he'd painstakingly written over the day. "Here you go," he said to Craig, dragging the heavy sack behind him. "All done." He wiped his forehead with his palm, rubbing even more glitter all over his face.

"Thanks Dwight, you've been a real lifesaver. Shall I bring the next sack for you tomorrow?"

"What? There's more?" Dwight cried. 

"Oh yeah, we've got like twenty of these things," Craig explained. "So I'll bring the next one tomorrow?" 

"No, wait, no. I'm out of personal days," he said sadly.

"Nevermind Dwight," Pam said, rubbing Dwight's arm. "You did the best you could." 

End Notes:
Yeah I know Dwight says he doesn't take personal days, but I'm sure he does really. Right?
Jim-gerbread Men by MrsKHalpert
Author's Notes:

With a big old nod to the Watercooler chat - in particular Warrior!

Wednesday, 15th December 

Jim awoke on Wednesday morning to the smell of gingerbread wafting through the house, and the clanging of pots and pans from a floor below him. He pulled on his blue pyjama pants and walked downstairs to find Pam pulling a baking tray out of the oven. Once the tray was on the side and she'd removed her oven gloves, he slipped his arms around her waist. "Mornin'," he croaked. "What's all this?" he asked, his chin resting on Pam's shoulder.

"Oh no, you weren't meant to be awake yet," she moaned, turning in his arms. She ran her hands up his bare chest to pull him down for a kiss. "Why are you up anyway?" she asked after they pulled apart.

"Well, something smelt amazing," he grinned. "And also, you were banging around like a crazy woman down here," he laughed, causing Pam to blush. "So why are you baking gingerbread men at 7am?" 

"Go get your advent calendar and you'll find out," she said, smiling with her tongue poking just between her teeth. 

"Alright," he said, before lightly jogging up the stairs to retrieve the giant card and back down again to the kitchen, where he sat down at the kitchen table with it. He opened the card up and pulled out the envelope that Pam had written ‘three' on. He glanced up at her with a small smile as he slid his finger under the flap and then pulled out the postcard that Pam had decorated with little gingerbread men. All of them but two were simply decorated with smiling iced faces and gum drop buttons. Of the remaining two, one had been drawn wearing a pink cardigan and a white blouse and the other a pale blue shirt with a dark blue tie. "Are these us?" Jim laughed, pointing to the two gingerbread men at the bottom of the card.

"They are," Pam giggled.

"Amazing," Jim marvelled. "Dwight annoys you and drives you barmy. Time to take over with a Jim-gerbread army. Wow," he chuckled. "Ok, two questions. Number one. What does barmy mean?"

"Oh, it's some British word for like driving you crazy. I needed something to rhyme with army," she explained.

"And second. Jim-gerbread. Love it. But what exactly am I meant to do with an army of them?"

"Well, I've made 48 of these little guys," she said, holding up one of the gingerbread men, "and I thought you could hide them around Dwight's desk and the rest of the office. Kinda make him think that gingerbread men are taking over."

"You mean Jim-gerbread men are taking over?" 

"Right," she laughed. 

"Why not round it up to 50?" he asked, placing the card onto the table before walking over to where Pam was standing, icing tube in hand.

Pam turned around smiling holding real life replicas of the Jim and Pam gingerbread illustrations in each hand. "Because I saved two for these guys."

"You are just too cute," he said, once again sliding his arms around her waist and pulling her close for a kiss. As they pulled apart, she pushed the gingerbread Jim and Pam together as if to make them kiss. "And such a dork," he laughed, before leaning in to kiss her once more.

--

"Morning Dwight," Jim said as he walked over to his desk from the coat rack.

"You said that yesterday, we don't need to do this every day. Just say good month at the start of the month and then we don't need to exchange pleasantries each day," Dwight scoffed as Jim placed his suit jacket on the back of his chair before pulling it out so he could sit down.

"Oh but then I'd miss our witty repartee each morning," Jim chided back as he switched his computer on.

"Fact. You are not witty."

"But you most definitely are Dwight."

"Idiot." 

Jim hit a few keys on his keyboard but nothing happened, the computer was still turned off. "Hey Dwight?"

"No Jim."

"Is your computer working?"  

"Yes. Why?" Dwight asked, moving to protectively cover his computer.

"Mine's not turning on. Can you pass me a spare order form?" Jim asked as he tried to turn the computer on again.

"What's wrong with yours?" Dwight asked suspiciously. 

"Oh nothing, I'm just out of them," Jim said innocently. "And I hurt my leg playing basketball last night, so I don't wanna have to walk over to get a bunch of new ones from the cupboard." 

"Fine," Dwight finally relented, opening his bottom drawer to retrieve an order form for Jim. "What? What is this?" he asked as he reached into the drawer.

"What's what Dwight? Oh would you look at that, it turned on," Jim said with a smile.

"Why is there a gingerbread man in my desk drawer?" he asked suspiciously. 

"How would I know? I literally just got here. Maybe someone dropped it in there or something? I'm sure there's a very reasonable explanation. Gingerbread men don't just appear from nowhere Dwight," Jim reasoned. 

"I suppose," Dwight conceded as he passed the order form over to Jim.

"Would you look at that, my pencil cup is missing. Can I borrow a pen please?" 

"May you borrow a pen is the correct phrasing."

"I'm sorry, may I borrow a pen please?" Jim repeated with an eye roll as he picked up the phone receiver. 

Dwight reached over to grab a pen from his pencil cup and jumped slightly when he found another gingerbread man nestled in between his pens and pencils. "What the?" he trailed off.

"What's up now?" Jim said, beginning to dial a number. 

"There's another gingerbread man."

"Dwight, I don't have time for this. I'm on a call," Jim said, a hint of annoyance to his voice. "Hello Mr Reece, it's Jim Halpert. How are you doing today?" he said into the phone as he watched Dwight frantically begin moving the items of his desk around.

"Where are you all coming from?" Dwight cried out as he found more gingerbread men hiding behind his monitor, under his phone, several between and inside the files of his top drawer and even one that had replaced the throwing star taped to the underside of his desk. Jim sat back in amazement as he watched Dwight turn his desk upside down looking for more of the cookies.

-- 

Jim opened the bathroom door and stood stunned in the doorframe at the sight before him. Dwight was up on his tiptoes trying to grab a mug from the back of the top shelf of the cupboard, and in front of him on the kitchen counter was every other mug that lived at Dunder Mifflin, other than the ones currently in use. "Dwight, what is going on?" Jim asked, clearly confused. There was no response, just some grunting from Dwight as he tried again to reach the last mug. "Dwight!" Jim shouted. 

Dwight was slightly startled, and turned around. "What?" he said. 

"What are you doing?" Jim asked again. 

"They're taking over the kitchen," Dwight whispered to him, his eyes darting wildly around the kitchen.

"Who are?" Jim whispered back, leaning closer towards Dwight.

Dwight lowered his voice even more and moved so that his face was an inch away from Jim's. "The gingerbread men." 

"Oh come on, Dwight, this again?" Jim whined, pushing his way past Dwight, but was stopped when Dwight put his hand on Jim's arm. Jim looked down at it and then up at Dwight. "You really think gingerbread men are taking over?" he whispered. 

"I know they are," Dwight said forcefully. "There was one on top of my lunch in the refrigerator, and when I went to make a coffee, there was one in my cup. I've checked the rest of the mugs and I found one more in my backup mug, and I'm trying to check my backup backup mug." 

"I'll get it for you, I'm significantly taller than you are," Jim said, pushing Dwight out of the way.

"No you're not, not...significantly taller than me," Dwight said to Jim's back. 

"Here you go," Jim said, handing Dwight the mug. They both peered inside it and each let out a small gasp when they saw a gingerbread man. "But that's impossible. Even you couldn't reach that high. How did it get in there?" 

"I told you, they're taking over," Dwight gritted out. 

--

"Night Dwight," Pam smiled as Dwight took his coat from the rack just after 5pm. He dropped it onto the floor and jumped up and down on it. "What are you doing?" Pam shrieked, standing up to peer over her desk. 

"They're in here Pam, I know they are," Dwight said, still jumping up and down.

"Who are?" she asked, one eyebrow raised.

"The gingerbread men, Pam. The gingerbread men," he said, still jumping. 

"Why are you jumping though?" she asked, confused as to what Dwight was still doing. 

"I'm killing them Pam. If I crush them, they can't hurt me." 

"OK, I think you got them buddy. Wanna slow down on the jumping a little?" 

"Alright, fine," Dwight said reluctantly, with a final stamp on his coat. He picked it up and shook it before turning out the pockets, but to his dismay, or relief, didn't find anything.

"See, there was nothing in there. I think you're taking this a little far Dwight." 

"Not far enough. But at least they didn't figure out which was my coat," he said as he pulled his coat on. "Goodbye Pamela." 

"Night Dwight," she called as he turned to leave. "Oh wait, Dwight. It's raining. You forgot your umbrella." 

"Thank you," he said, walking back to retrieve it from the coat rack. "Oh no," he said as he grasped the umbrella by the middle. "No, no, no, no." Dwight quickly unfurled the umbrella and opened it, causing three gingerbread men to fall out onto the floor. He threw the umbrella onto the floor, grabbed his briefcase and ran out. 

Pam looked over to Jim with wide eyes and a smile, and he returned it with a lazy grin of his own. "Wanna watch from the conference room?" she asked. 

"Absolutely I do," he smiled back. 

They walked over to the window in the conference room and peered out through the blinds, just in time to see Dwight reach his car, holding his briefcase above his head for some sort of protection from the rain. He opened the door, threw his briefcase through to the passenger seat and climbed into the driver's seat, only to jump out again seconds later. Jim and Pam watched as Dwight swatted at his behind, before bending down and grabbing several gingerbread men from his seat and throwing them onto the ground, where he then proceeded to stamp on them as he screamed into the wet evening air. He finally climbed into his car and from the conference room, Jim and Pam could see him frantically searching the rest of the car from the inside. Eventually Dwight turned around and settled down in the driver's seat, and as he turned on the engine and set the windshield wipers to clear the rain away, they saw gingerbread men flying into the air, followed by Dwight's loud horn honking at them.

"Wow," Jim laughed from the conference room as Dwight screeched out of the parking lot. "I think we might have broken him." 

"Nice work," Pam said with a smile, as she passed Jim his Jim-gerbread man. She held her own one up in front of his. 

"Such a dork," he laughed as their gingerbread men high fived.

End Notes:

Pam and her Jim-gerbread Man from the amazing Cutermelon

Dwight, you don?t look your-elf today by MrsKHalpert
Author's Notes:
Thursday, 16th December

"Alright, what do we have today then?" Jim asked as he reached across the kitchen table for the large card and opened it. He found the envelope with ‘four' written on it and ripped it open to reveal a postcard with a large caricature of Dwight dressed in his elf costume from a few years ago with a speech bubble coming out of his mouth. "Take a look at what I found on a shelf. Convince Dwight he's turned into an elf," Jim read from the card. "What did you find on a shelf?" he asked, looking over to where Pam was standing by the kitchen counter. 

"This," she said proudly, holding up Dwight's elf hat. 

"Oh my god," he laughed. "Where did you get that from?" he asked, getting up from the table and walking over to where Pam was standing. He took the green felt hat from her and turned it over in his hands, marvelling at the discovery. 

"I've had it since the party, I must have accidentally taken it home or something," she explained. 

"Or something," he laughed.   

"But I've never known what to do with it, until now," she grinned. 

"Ok, so what's the plan for today then?" he asked as he took the cup of coffee that Pam had just poured for him.  

"Simple. You've got to convince Dwight he's turning into an elf," she said with a shrug of her shoulder. 

"Oh, because that's so easy," he replied with a roll of his eyes. 

"You'll figure it out," she said before tiptoeing up to kiss Jim's cheek. "I'm gonna have a shower. Wanna join me?"

"Absolutely I do," he grinned as he threw the postcard onto the kitchen counter and followed Pam out of the kitchen.   

--

"Morning Dwight," Jim said, overly cheerfully as Dwight took his seat at his desk with a cup of coffee. "Looking kinda tired there. Everything ok buddy?"

"I was up half the night searching the house for gingerbread men," Dwight sighed. 

"Still think they're out to get you, huh?" 

"I did find one more tucked up in Mose's bed. But it didn't look like the others. Looked like it had been there for a while. But when I asked him about it, he just grabbed the cookie and ran away and didn't return until dawn." 

"Well, I've not seen any since I've been here. But I'll keep an ear out if anyone says anything about them," Jim said reassuringly as he stared at Dwight's ear. 

"What? What is it?" Dwight said, turning his head around to look at whatever Jim was looking at just to the side of his head. 

"Oh no, it's nothing," Jim said quickly, ducking his head down, but then peeking back up. When Dwight caught him looking at the side of his face again, he darted his eyes back down to his desk again. 

"What is it?" Dwight asked self consciously.

"It's, no," Jim paused. "Have your ears always been so pointy?" 

"What?" Dwight exclaimed, his hands flying to his ears. 

"No, it's nothing. Forget I said anything," Jim said as he picked up his phone to make a call, leaving Dwight to try and check the shape of his ears in the reflection from the back of the teaspoon that he'd snatched from his coffee cup. 

--

"What are you two idiots doing?" Dwight boomed as he walked into the breakroom to find Jim and Pam sitting at one of the tables, trying to assemble a small doll's house.

"Oh Jim ordered this for his niece Vanessa for Christmas," Pam said, gesturing to the pile of wooden pieces that lay in front of them, "but he didn't realise it didn't come already built, so we're trying to build it now." 

"Why aren't you doing it at home?" 

Jim's shoulders sagged slightly as Pam's eyes darted to meet his in a brief moment of panic. "Um, because it just got delivered here today, and also, she's coming over tonight and we didn't want her to see it. His niece I mean. She's the one coming over tonight." Jim placed his hand underneath the table on Pam's jittering knee to try to get her to stop talking. 

"Dwight, can we borrow your Philips screwdriver?" Jim asked as he picked up a screw from the table and held it up to a piece of wood with a pre-drilled hole in it. 

"Idiot, that's a flathead screw, a Phillips screwdriver isn't going to work."

"Oh yeah," Jim said, looking more closely at the screw. "Man, I'm so bad at this kinda stuff."

"That's because you've been molly coddled your entire life. I bet you've never had to make a toy before," Dwight said. 

"Well," Jim began.

"I've been making toys since I was three years old," Dwight said proudly 

"Oh?" Pam prodded. 

"I've made hay dolls and tricycles and train sets and race cars and rocking horses and marble runs," Dwight listed out, counting on his fingers. 

"Wow, you really are great at making toys. Ever made a doll's house?" Jim asked. 

"Pfft. Please. I've built real houses. A doll's house is nothing," Dwight spat.

"I don't know," Pam said slowly, raising one eyebrow. "This has got so many parts to it. It's really complicated. We've been trying for a while now." 

"With the wrong tools. I could build this in 10 minutes tops." 

"No," Jim said, feigning confusion. "That's impossible." 

"Watch me," Dwight said, pulling a chair out at the table and sitting down. He pulled a small set of screwdrivers from his shirt pocket and set to work building the doll's house. 

"Impressive," Jim said nine minutes later as Dwight screwed the last piece of roof onto the house. "You really are a master toymaker. Could totally see you changing careers. Especially with those ears," Jim added under his breath.

"I'll always be a paper salesman first, beet farmer second, karate master third," Dwight said, admiring his handiwork before putting the doll's house on the table. "But maybe if I retire," he said quietly, placing his hands over his ears and walking out of the break room.

-- 

"Jimbo Chrimbo," Michael laughed as he walked out of his office and went to perch on the edge of Jim's desk. "Have you got that list of clients that we need to contact before the new year?" 

"You know what? I started making it, but I don't know where it is," Jim said, as he leafed through various papers on his desk. 

"Idiot," Dwight snapped. "Here it is Michael," he said, holding up a list with about six names scrawled on it in Jim's messy handwriting.  

"Thanking you," Michael said with a bow as he took the piece of paper from Dwight. "Ugh, this is a mess Jim, what's going on with you?" 

"I know, I know," Jim said sadly, "I'm all over the place at the moment. Dwight, can you help me? You're so good with lists." 

"Jim, this is a simple task, you should be able to complete it yourself," Dwight said sharply. 

"No, I know. I'll make the list. And I'll even check it twice," Jim sighed. 

"Hey, like Santa!" Michael exclaimed. 

"Right," Jim said. "So maybe you can just help me with it? Like an assistant to the assistant regional manager?" 

"Or like Santa's assistant?" Michael said, his face aglow. "Oh, wait, that's an elf. Ok, Jim, you be Santa, and Dwight, you're his elf."

"Perfect," Jim smiled as he leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head. 

--

"Hey Dwight," Pam said quietly as she walked up to his desk, holding his green elf hat.

"Gimme that," Dwight said, snatching the hat from her hands and placing it on his head. 

"Would you look at that," Jim grinned. 

"Where did you find this? I've been looking for it for years," Dwight marvelled.

"Um, it was, uh, underneath the couch by reception," Pam lied, her cheeks tinged with a pinkness.

"Oh, no, Dwight you can't dress up as an elf today," Michael said, coming out of his office as he heard the commotion. "Save it for next year's Christmas party." 

"Well," Jim butted in. "You know Dwight, between the toy making, and helping with my list, and the ears..." 

"There's nothing wrong with my ears," Dwight said defensively, putting his hands over his ears yet again.

"You're right, he's an elf! An actual real life elf," Michael practically danced. "Although, aren't you a little tall to be an elf?" 

"Well, don't forget Buddy the Elf," Pam said, causing the three men to look at her. "You know, from the movie Elf?" 

"Right!" Michael shouted.

"No, there's no. No!" Dwight said, standing and throwing the hat off of his head.

"Oh you are totally an elfio," Andy chimed in, having wheeled his desk chair away from his own clump. 

"This doesn't concern you," Dwight said through gritted teeth. 

"I really think you might be," Jim added. 

"Definitely," Pam added, trying to keep a straight face.

"Michael?" Dwight asked, his voice full of concern. 

"Sure, why not. You can be an elf, or Big Bird or the freaking man from the moon. Just get back to work, everyone," Michael shouted before he walked back into his office, slamming the door. 

"What's up with him?" Jim whispered to Pam.

"Maybe he just wants some time to hims-elf," she giggled. 

"Such a dork," Jim laughed with a roll of his eyes.

Pam turned her attention to Dwight. "Want me to get rid of that then?" she asked, pointing to the hat. "Seeing as you're not really an elf and all?" 

"Um, no," Dwight said, holding the hat protectively in his arms. "I'll keep it, just in case."

"Just in case," Jim smiled.

Festive Farmer by MrsKHalpert
Author's Notes:
Friday, 17th December

"Mmm," Jim moaned as he felt Pam kissing her way up his neck the next morning. As if in reflex, he wrapped his arms around her waist whilst his eyes remained closed.

"Hi," she whispered as she ran her hand up his chest.

"I thought I was under strict instructions not to wake you this morning?" he said, running his hand down Pam's arm to rest it on her hip. 

"I know," she groaned as Jim pulled her closer to him. "But I've woken up so early each day this week, I think my body clock is now trained to think I get up at 6am."

"Well, seeing as we're both up," he said with a slight thrust of his hips, causing Pam to giggle and pull the covers over them. 

Forty five minutes later, they made their way down to the kitchen. As Pam pulled out a box of waffle mix from the cupboard, Jim took a seat at the kitchen table so that he could open the next prank in his advent calendar. "You know, you should totally have called this a prankvent calendar," he said as he opened up the card, earning him a little laugh from the other side of the kitchen. After scanning the empty pockets for a split second, Jim found ‘five' and quickly pulled out the envelope, before slipping his finger under the flap and ripping it open. He pulled out a white postcard, decorated with a farm stand and lots of vegetables spilling from it across the card. "This year we might cause a little drama. Tell Dwight he's going to judge the best festive farmer," Jim read out. "What?" he laughed.

"Remember the cute little farmers market in Carbondale?" Pam asked as she mixed the waffle batter. Jim nodded. "So they're holding a festive food competition. You know, like the best produce, tastiest gingerbread, crispest sugar cookies? That kinda thing." 

"So where's the prank?" Jim asked, a little confused.

"Well, they need a judge," she said, passing him a flyer for the competition

"Dwight?" he asked, looking up from the pamphlet. 

"Yup," she smiled. 

"Ok," he replied, still confused. "But I don't get it. The market exists, the competition exists." Jim held up the flyer as if showing Pam proof. 

"Both are true. But the market is only open on a Wednesday. Don't you remember, we had to take a personal day to go?"

"Oh yeah," he replied, looking at the flyer again. "Why does it say tonight?" 

"Photoshop," she said with a waggle of her eyebrows. 

"So we're sending him to Carbondale, to judge a competition that already happened?" he asked. 

"Yup," she smiled. 

"I gotta say Beesly, kinda feel like this prank is letting the side down a little," he said, pulling a slightly awkward face. 

"Hey! You try coming up with 12 Christmas themed pranks!" she protested, throwing a dishcloth at him. 

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry," he said, standing with the dishcloth in his hand. He tossed it back to her with a grin. "I'm sure it's gonna be great." 

--

"Here you go babe," Pam said as she passed Jim his mail. 

"Inappropriate," Dwight said as he typed away on his computer. Jim and Pam rolled their eyes at each other with a slight smile as she moved towards Dwight's desk. He held his hand out expectantly for the mail. Pam handed the pile to him wordlessly, including the letter that Jim had typed up less than an hour ago, before turning her back on him and passing Phyllis her mail. 

"Yes, yes, yes," Dwight shouted minutes later after opening the third envelope, seemingly not noticing that there wasn't a postmark on it.

"What've you got going on over there?" Jim asked after discarding his own small pile of mail. 

"I've been waiting for this for years," Dwight said proudly. 

"For what?" Phyllis asked, turning around in her chair. 

"For this," Dwight said, shoving the letter into her face.

"What is it?" Andy piped up. 

Dwight stood up and straightened his tie before speaking. "I have been invited to judge the annual Festive Food Competition at the Carbondale Farmers Market." 

"Congratulations buddy," Jim said, staring up at Dwight. 

"Oh I love that place," Pam said, leaning over her desk. "Jim and I went a few weeks ago, we got some amazing produce from there, and I really wanted to go back for their festive market. I even grabbed a flyer for it so we'd remember to go." She looked down at the flyer. "Oh shoot, but it's tonight and we have plans. That sucks." 

"No, no, no, not tonight," Dwight said, his hand flying to his head before he looked down at the letter again and quickly reread it to confirm the details. "Ok, don't panic," he said to himself. He grabbed his cell phone from his belt and punched 2 on the speed dial. "Mose, it's Dwight. I need you to slaughter the goat tonight on your own. Remember to save its blood in the bucket. And then go to Aunt Shirley and bring back the four chickens. You remember what to do with them?" He paused for a moment, listening to Mose on the other end of the phone. "Ok good." He flipped his phone closed and looked up at several horrified faces. "Crisis averted."

"So how come you didn't enter the competition Dwight?" Jim asked.

"Oh, they never have beets as a category, but I've always wanted to go and scrutinise the sweet potatoes and green beans," Dwight replied, as he looked over the letter in his hand again. "And now is my chance to shine."

"Sure will be," Jim smiled. 

--

"I honestly can't believe we're driving to Carbondale. To watch Dwight do nothing. This is so stupid," Jim moaned as he pulled out of the driveway later that evening.

"What good is a prank if there's no payoff?" Pam challenged back.  

"Well, like I said, this isn't your finest prank, so I think we could have stayed home and we'd have been ok." 

"And that is why you didn't get to hear the whole prank this morning," she shot back with a raised eyebrow. 

"Beesly!" he exclaimed, almost crashing the car. "What are you hiding from me?" 

"I guess you'll find out when we get there," she smirked.

-- 

"I thought the farmers market was on Wednesday? What's going on?" Jim asked 30 minutes later as they walked to the corner of 4th and Main Street to see the whole area lit up with string lights and Christmas decorations, plus a stage set up, with a judging table in front of it and a large audience already seated and waiting. "The competition is actually tonight?"

"Well, a competition is tonight. Just not the farmers market one," Pam explained. Jim looked at her with wide eyes and a nodding head as though willing her to continue explaining. "It's the Carbondale Stand Up Comedy Competition."

"Oh my god," he whispered in awe. "You're a genius." 

They took their seats a few rows from the back and to the side, so that they wouldn't be noticed, and waited for Dwight to arrive. A few minutes later, Dwight arrived in a full farmer getup of overalls, mud caked boots and was chewing a piece of hay, and promptly marched over to the judging table and sat down. Two other people, dressed in regular clothes, joined him several minutes later giving him slightly odd stares.

"We're gonna have to get closer, I can't hear anything," Jim whispered to Pam after watching Dwight have an animated conversation with the woman he was sitting next to. They edged their way out of their row, and crept down to the front to take their new seats, two rows back, directly behind Dwight. "Much better," Jim said quietly. Before they had a chance to say anything else, a spotlight fell to the stage and the host appeared.

"Welcome everyone to the 3rd annual Carbondale Stand Up Comedy Competition," he said from the stage. 

"No, no," Dwight shouted from the judging table. "You're in the wrong place, this is the Festive Food Competition. For the farmers market."

"Um, no, I'm sorry. This is definitely a comedy competition," the host said. "Looks like we've already got one funny guy down here," he said, earning him laughter from the audience.

"Please. Who would want to see a comedy competition? Comedy isn't funny? Want to know what is funny? Upside down houses. Those are hilarious," Dwight began to rant as the man stood on stage with a horrified look on his face. "And don't even get me started on how a man spends his hard earned money on art." 

"Aaand I think we've found the winner of the comedy competition," Jim laughed to Pam as Dwight continued his tirade in front of them.

End Notes:
Fun fact. I saw the deleted scene of Dwight talking about his sense of humour a couple of weeks ago and then it was on OL this week!
Just tie me up with a bow by MrsKHalpert
Author's Notes:
Saturday, 18th December

For the first time in almost a week, Jim and Pam slept in without any disturbances from alarm clocks, clattering pans or out of whack body clocks. When eventually Jim did wake up just after 9am, he decided to leave Pam sleeping to go and surprise her with breakfast. After pressing the gentlest of kisses to her hair so that he wouldn't wake her, he hopped out of bed and pulled on his blue pyjama pants before he lightly jogged downstairs to the kitchen. He quietly took out enough pans to cook pancakes and bacon, and set about his task in hand. As the bacon sizzled on the stove, Jim wandered over to where the advent calendar was sitting on the kitchen table. He pulled out the chair and sat down, opening the advent calendar as he did so. He ran his hands over the pockets, pausing at number ‘six'. He bit his lip slightly and went to pull out the envelope, but stopped himself and closed the advent calendar altogether. 

"Why'd you close it?" Pam asked from the doorway, causing Jim to jump out of his chair. 

"Jesus Christ Beesly," Jim said, clutching his chest as he stood up fully. "How long have you been standing there spying on me?"

"I wasn't spying," she giggled as she walked over to give him a quick kiss. "Why didn't you open the envelope?"

"Mmm, I felt bad. I didn't wanna open it without you here," he shrugged. 

"Well, I'm here now," she said with a quirk of her eyebrow and a nod towards the kitchen table where the advent calendar was laying.

Jim smiled and reached down to squeeze Pam's hand slightly, before sitting down at the table again. Once again he opened up the large card, but this time pulled the envelope with ‘six' written on it, out of its pocket. When he removed the postcard from its envelope, he saw a little cartoon of himself and Pam holding hands with a small bow on Jim's head. The little Pam was holding a key.  "You're the best present that I've ever received. Some time away should make us both pleased," Jim read out. "What's going on today?" he laughed

"Well, I thought it would be nice to have a little night away before Christmas," she smiled. "We've been so busy with getting the house ready and wedding planning and now all the Dwight pranks, so I've booked us a night at a B&B." 

"Oh god, tell me we're not going back to Shrute Farms?" Jim groaned.

"Definitely not," she laughed. "No, we're going over to Allentown. I thought we could do a little Christmas shopping, have dinner out, sleep in late." 

"Sounds amazing. So no pranks on Dwight today?" he asked, standing up to wrap his arms around Pam.

"No pranks on Dwight today," she said, with a slight glint in her eye before she tiptoed up to kiss him. 

-- 

After finishing breakfast, Jim and Pam got ready for their trip, threw together their overnight bags and jumped into the car. An hour and a half, two bags of chips, two sodas and 18 rounds of the number plate game later, they finally arrived at The Sayre Mansion and checked in. They left their bags in the room and spent the rest of the day exploring the shops, market and restaurants of downtown Allentown. 

"Think my mom would like a silk scarf?" Jim asked as they passed a market stall covered in shiny fabric. 

"Oh definitely, good shout. Which one though?" Pam asked as she began to peruse the orange section.

"Maybe a red? Or how about green?" he asked, holding a scarf of each colour up in his hands. 

"Why not both? Plus, they're really festive," she smirked.

Jim rolled his eyes and laughed through his nose. "Ok, fine," he said to her, before turning his attention to the stall owner. "Could I take both of these please?" 

"Sure. Would you like them gift wrapped?" the owner asked.

Before Jim could even get a word in edgeways, Pam piped up. "Um, no thank you, we'll just take a paper bag thank you." The man nodded and took the items from Jim to ring them up at the till. 

"Why wouldn't we get them gift wrapped?" Jim asked Pam in confusion. 

"Oh I bought the cutest wrapping paper and I want all our gifts to match this year, so there's no point having him wrap it up just for us to unwrap it," she shrugged as she fingered a bright blue scarf. 

"Oh right," he replied. The stall owner interrupted Jim's thoughts before he had any more time to think about what had just happened, and Jim dutifully handed over his credit card.

--

"This was such a great idea," Jim said as they walked through the string light covered streets from the restaurant to the hotel with his arm slung over Pam's shoulder and her arm around his waist. "We should definitely make this an annual trip."

"Oh yeah?" Pam asked, looking up at him from under his arm. He just nodded with a contented sound. "I've got a little something else planned too. For when we get back to the room," she smirked.

"And what would that be?" he asked in a tone that sent a slight shiver down Pam's spine. 

"You'll just have to wait and see. Come on," she said, tugging on his hand that was resting on her shoulder.

Thirty minutes later, Jim found himself in the middle of the four poster bed, with most of his clothes, other than his navy blue boxer briefs, already having been discarded by a hasty Pam. The very same hasty Pam who was now writhing all over him in just a pair of red satin panties and a matching bra. She began kissing her way down his chest, but just before she reached the waistband of his underwear, she stopped and sat up, straddling Jim.

"What are?" Jim said, his voice catching in his throat slightly before he cleared his throat. Pam just grinned at him as she climbed off of him and the bed. "Where are you going?" 

"Just to get this," Pam said, holding up the paper bag containing the silk scarves.

"My mom's present?" Jim asked, thoroughly confused as he sat up slightly, resting in his elbows.  

"Lay back," she ordered.  

"Beesly," he laughed. "What are you doing?" 

"I said, lay back," she repeated, a little more firmly as she climbed back onto the bed and began to straddle him. This time Jim lay back, his head sinking into the plush white pillow. "Put your arms out," Pam requested as she pulled out the first scarf from the bag. Jim had a slightly concerned look on his face, but did as she asked. She tied the red scarf around his right wrist, before making a long look with the rest of the fabric so that it would reach the bedpost. She tied several knots in the other end of the material, and then gave it a tug to make sure that it was secure. Then she moved over to Jim's other wrist, pausing to give him a kiss. It was meant to be quick and chaste, but before she realised it, the kiss had quickly deepened as she towered over him, his arm snaking round to stroke her back as she began to grind herself on him. "Mmm, Jim," she moaned out, before pulling herself away to tie him up with the green scarf, securing it to the bedpost with a neat bow. 

When Pam had finally finished tying him up, Jim gave a slight tug and waggled his eyebrows. "So what now?" he asked, his voice slightly husky.

Pam sat atop of him, her fingers running through his chest hair as she softly stroked his skin. She bent down to kiss her way up his chest, across his collarbone and sucked lightly on his neck, causing Jim to let out a stifled moan. She took his earlobe between his teeth and pulled ever so slightly, making Jim moan louder this time and shift his hips up towards her. "Now," she whispered into his ear, "I'm going to take a shower." And with that, she planted a big kiss on his cheek and hopped off the bed.

"Beesly!" Jim shouted as he watched her scurry to the bathroom and slam the door. "Pam, this isn't funny, get out here!" He pulled on the scarves, but couldn't free himself. "Pam!" he tried again, but with no response. "You can't tie me up with bows and leave me," he shouted, remembering the little cartoon with the bow on his other self's head. He heard the creak of the faucet turn on and the whoosh of the water from the showerhead. "Great, just great," he said sadly to himself as he stared up at the ceiling.

Let me take an elfie by MrsKHalpert
Author's Notes:
Sunday, 19th December

"I can't believe you're still sulking," Pam grinned as she pulled her jeans on the following morning. She'd woken to the sound of the shower running, rather than Jim wrapped around as she assumed she would. And then when she went to join him in the shower, he finished washing his hair and stepped out before she could so much as ask him to pass the soap. After finishing her own, rather lonely shower, Pam returned to the bedroom to find Jim sitting in the chair by the desk, flicking through the channels on the TV looking for something to watch. 

"You tied me up and left me!" Jim exclaimed. "Of course I'm still sulking!"

"It was for like twenty minutes you big baby, and I more than made it up to you afterwards," she said with a smile as she walked over to where he was sitting, now with his arms folded and looking out of the window. She nudged his legs apart and stood in front of him in just her blush pink lace bra and jeans yet to be buttoned up. "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" she asked, batting her eyelashes. He was still looking at the window, but as Pam dropped to her knees and slid her hands up his thighs, he suddenly forgot what he was sulking about.

By the time that they were both getting dressed again, Jim was back to his normal self and his stomach was rumbling for breakfast. "Shall we?" he asked, nodding towards the door as he picked up the room key from the console table.

"Don't wanna open your advent calendar today?" 

"Ah crap, I totally forgot to bring it," Jim said, hitting his palm to his head.

"I brought it, don't worry," Pam smiled, reaching into her bag. "Here you go."

"You're amazing," he said as he reached for the card and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. He stood in front of the desk and laid the advent calendar down. He pulled out the envelope with ‘seven' written on it, and slipped out the postcard from within it. On the white card was a drawing of Dwight's bobblehead. "I've been a naughty girl, and Dwight's desk I did loot. Come on, let's hurry and do a festive photoshoot," Jim read with a laugh. "Beesly, what did you do?" Pam flashed him a wide grin and pulled out Dwight's bobblehead from where she was holding it behind her back. "Oh my god," he laughed as he took the doll from her and examined it. 

"Don't forget this," Pam said, holding up a tiny felt Santa hat.

"Oh my god," Jim repeated. "Where did you get this from?"

"I made it," she smiled, bouncing on her tiptoes.

"Amazing," he marvelled. He placed the tiny hat onto the bobblehead, before grabbing it in one hand and Pam's hand in the other. "Let's go get some breakfast and then get to our photoshoot."

--

On the way down to breakfast, they stopped to nestle the bobblehead in a Christmas tree for its first festive photo. Next, a loose piece of tinsel found its way around mini Dwight's neck for a Christmassy scarf. And standing next to Pam's cup of steaming hot cocoa completed the model's morning photoshoot.

"So what are we going to do with all these photos?" Jim asked, as they walked hand in hand to the Christmas market.

"I made a Facebook account for the bobblehead, and once we upload the photos, he's gonna befriend Dwight," Pam explained.

"Of course you did," Jim smiled, bringing Pam's hand up so that he could kiss the back of it. "Although, that would imply that Dwight has a Facebook account."

"Which he most definitely does," Pam said with a quirk of her eyebrow. "He set one up a little while ago, well, a fake one anyway, to keep tabs on Mose."

"Mose has Facebook?" Jim exclaimed, causing Pam to laugh. He stopped walking. "Wait, Mose can use a computer?"

"I know," she laughed. "Oh hey look, a reindeer ride," she said, pointing to an enclosure with several reindeer inside, already giving rides to children. "I think we definitely one of those."

"Don't you think you're a little big for a reindeer ride?" he smirked.

"Not me," she said with a playful slap to his arm. "For him," she said as she thrust the bobblehead towards him.

--

"Ok, if we're going to come up with more of these photo opportunities, I think we're gonna need some eggnog" Jim said as he steered Pam towards a nearby bar in the market.

"Mmm, you know I've never really been a fan. I think I'll just have a regular drink," Pam said as she picked up the menu once they were inside.

"Nu uh, we're being extra festive today," he told her. "Two eggnogs please," Jim said to the barman with two fingers up in the air.

"But..."

"No buts, we're being Christmassy today," Jim said firmly. As if on cue, Christmas music filled the air around them from a slightly off key singer on stage. Jim held his hands up in the air as if to show her that his point had been made.

"Alright," Pam said with a small smile and a shake of her head. To her dismay, the barman brought over two glasses of eggnog and placed them in front of herself and Jim on the slightly sticky table.

"To a very festive bobblehead," Jim said with his glass raised high in the air.

"And to a great photoshoot," Pam replied, before they clinked their glasses together.

As Pam took a small disgusted sip, Jim took a huge glug of the eggnog, making a big ‘ahh' sound after he swallowed. "Man, I love eggnog. Let's get some more." Before Pam had a chance to stop him, Jim had already waved the barman down to order two more glasses of eggnog. 

"Babe, I've barely had a sip of this one, slow down," Pam said as she watched Jim drain the first glass.

"It's just so good, and I'm feeling good," Jim smiled with slightly glassed over eyes. "And you look really good," he whispered as he lent forward to kiss her.

"Jim!" she giggled as she felt his eggnog-flavoured tongue swiping at her lip. She indulged him for a second before pulling back. "We're in a bar!"

"So? I bet they see people making out all the time," he reasoned.

"It's the middle of the day!" she protested.

"You're no fun, you know that?" he laughed as he sat back in his chair and started on the next glass of eggnog.

"Oh I'm plenty of fun," she challenged back, narrowing her eyes. "Remember last night?"

Jim narrowed his back and lent forward. "Oh I remember last night missy," he said, before leaning forward to tickle her.

"Jim!" she giggled, trying to squirm away from him. "Alright Mr Handsy, I'm going to use the bathroom. Stay out of trouble ok?"

"Yes ma'am," he said with a salute. He watched her walk away and his eyes began roving around the bar in boredom. He noticed the stage on which a new singer was taking their place, was actually a karaoke stage and his eyes widened in delight. He quickly scrambled up to the stage and spoke to the person in a Christmas sweater standing just to the left of it. Jim listened for a moment, nodded and then scribbled on a piece of paper that was attached to a clipboard, before running back to the table and downing the last of his second glass of eggnog.

"You ok there?" Pam asked as she returned to the table a few minutes later. "You're looking a little warm over there."

"Think the nog is getting to me," he laughed as he pulled off his navy blue cable knit sweater. It caught his light grey t-shirt slightly as it moved, and Pam couldn't help but stare at his smooth back before he was able to pull it back. "Like what you see?" Jim asked, waggling his eyebrows.

"Shut up," she giggled, before he pulled her closer for another kiss.

"So," Jim said as they pulled apart, trying to sound serious. "I realised that that," he said pointing in front of them, "is a karaoke stage. And wouldn't it be a great idea for our little friend here to do some karaoke?"

"Oh my god, that's genius," Pam laughed. "Oh but wait, shouldn't we get him drunk first?" She lay the bobblehead down on the table and positioned Jim's two empty glasses, plus her half empty one next to it. Jim eased the Santa hat off of the doll's head and placed it haphazardly next to him, before Pam took out the camera and snapped a couple of pictures.

"Perfect," he smiled as Pam showed him the pictures that she'd taken. "Ok, I guess let's wait for this guy to finish and then we can go put him on stage next to the microphone."

"Sounds like a plan," Pam smiled before taking another small sip of her drink. Jim leaned back in his chair and grabbed the third, as yet untouched, glass of eggnog. He scooted slightly closer to Pam so that he could put his arm around her and pull her closer to him. He stroked her arm lightly, creeping up so that he could nudge her cardigan slightly away from her camisole and reach the soft skin of her shoulder. She leaned into his touch and let her head fall back onto his shoulder as they watched a slightly tipsy pair on stage singing ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town'. As they finished, Jim erupted into whoops and shouts as he clapped his hands loudly. "Jim!" Pam giggled, trying to quieten him down.

"And next," the guy in the Christmas sweater on stage said into the microphone, "we have Pam Beesly singing ‘All I Want for Christmas is You'." He clapped his hands around the microphone that he was holding, and the few other people in the bar managed to create a small round of applause.

"What did you do?" Pam hissed at Jim, her face flushing red.

Jim just shrugged and smirked at her. "You better go give the people what they want, Beesly," he said, helping her to her feet and giving her a pat on her bottom.

Panic stricken, Pam walked up to the stage and stood in front of the microphone shaking slightly as the backing track began to play. She began to sing, slightly off key and missing the beat just a fraction, but after some encouragement from Jim in the form of him jumping to his feet, Pam found her groove and started to sing more confidently, moving slightly with the music. When the four minute long song finally ended, Jim erupted into a huge round of applause, and Pam quickly made her way off stage, ducking her head down in further embarrassment.

"You were amazing!" Jim beamed as he wrapped his arms around Pam in a huge bear hug.

"I can't believe you signed me up for that!" she shrieked as she looked up at him.

"I think that makes us even for last night," he whispered to her.

She laughed into his sweater. "Ok, I guess that's fair. Alright, let's take this last bobblehead photograph before we have to head home. We've got a Facebook account to update."

"Yes ma'am," Jim repeated with another salute before downing the last of his eggnog and grabbing his jacket.

Naughty or Nice? by MrsKHalpert
Author's Notes:

Extra special shoutout to YB.

Monday, 20th December

"Has he accepted the friend request yet?" Jim asked as he made his way into the kitchen the following morning. 

"Not yet, but I'm sure he will," Pam smiled as she looked up from her laptop. "What do you want for breakfast?" She closed the laptop and then pushed her chair back from the table. 

"I'm not feeling so great, maybe just some toast and coffee?" he replied somewhat sheepishly. 

"Feeling those eggnogs still huh?" she smirked. 

"Something like that," he groaned as he sat down at the kitchen table. He toyed with the corner of the advent calendar before flipping it open and reaching for the envelope with ‘eight' written on it. "Alright, what do we have today then?" he asked with a smile at Pam who was taking the bread out of the refrigerator. He opened the envelope to reveal a postcard with a long scroll drawn on it. The scroll was covered in wiggly lines, acting as names, with tick boxes next to them. "He's making a list, he's checking twice. But has Dwight been naughty or nice?" he read out. "Ooh Dwight has most definitely been naughty this year," Jim laughed as he put the card on the table. "So what are we doing today then?" 

"Well you are going to write down everything that Dwight does today to see which list he's going to be on."

"Hmm, this kinda seems like it might be another prank on me," Jim said sceptically.

"Well, look at it this way, Dwight could either be really nice and get you your coffee all day, orrr he could clip his toenails at his desk again," she reasoned. 

"You make an excellent point there Beesly," Jim laughed. 

--

"No, no thank you," Dwight said into the receiver as Jim made his way over to his desk. "No, I wouldn't like to donate to the donkey sanctuary. No, no. Good day to you too." He slammed the receiver down and returned to his computer screen, tutting as he did so. 

"That didn't seem very nice, whatever that was," Jim said to Dwight as he turned his own computer on. 

"It wasn't very nice. It was the donkey sanctuary again asking for donations," Dwight tutted. 

"No, I meant you," Jim replied. "Why wouldn't you give them a donation?"

"Have you seen that place?" Dwight spat. "They have better accommodation than my own horses do. They have better food than I do. They don't need anymore money, that's for sure." 

"Interesting," Jim said as he took out a clipboard with a piece of paper on it and made a note. The paper was divided into two lists, with ‘naughty' and ‘nice' at the top of each side.

"What are you doing?" Dwight demanded, trying to snatch the clipboard from Jim.

"Uh uh uh," Jim tutted. "Never you mind." 

"Tell me what you're doing or I'll tell Michael." 

"Very interesting," Jim said as he made another note for ‘taletelling' underneath ‘uncharitable', both in the naughty column. 

-- 

"Shrute Farms," Dwight said as he flipped open his phone. He paused to listen to the person on the other end for a moment, before he reached into his drawer. He pulled out his B&B ledger and opened it to the bookmarked page. "We do have availability over New Year Eve. Will you be requiring our New Year's Eve entertainment package as well? No? Oh that's a shame you'll miss the horse banquet and the goat milking, not to mention the log tossing and the midnight chicken race. Shall I put you down just for the two rooms then? Yes. Ok, for two nights. Perfect. Thank you for choosing Shrute Farms." He hung up the phone and scribbled in the ledger before closing it and placing it back into the drawer. 

Jim quietly took out his clipboard and wrote ‘conducting personal business during work hours' in the naughty list. He tucked the pencil underneath the clip at the top, and put it back into his drawer.

"What was that?" Dwight asked, peering over Jim's desk. "What did you write?" But Jim just shook his head slightly, and picked up his phone. 

-- 

As Jim returned from the bathroom, he found Dwight rifling through his drawers. He stood by Stanley's desk with folded arms as he watched Dwight find the naughty and nice list and stare at it, completely aghast. 

"Whatcha got there Dwight?" Jim whispered over Dwight's shoulder. 

Dwight jumped at Jim's word and held the clipboard to his chest as if trying to hide it from Jim. "Um, nothing. Nothing at all," Dwight stammered, as he tried to slink down into his chair. Jim grabbed the clipboard as Dwight made it into his chair and began writing on it. "What are you writing?" Dwight stared up at Jim who was silent as he wrote ‘snoops through co-workers belongings' on the naughty list. He stood up again and tried to look at the clipboard, but Jim held it to his chest, blocking Dwight's view. "Why is there nothing on the nice list?" Dwight demanded. 

"Well, have you been nice today, Dwight?" Jim asked with a raised eyebrow as he slipped the clipboard into his desk and walked back towards the kitchen, leaving Dwight staring at his back.

--

"Hey, have you seen my lunch?" Jim asked Pam as he rooted through the refrigerator in the kitchen. 

"I put both of ours in there this morning," Pam said, bending down to look for the lost lunch. "At least mine is here. Wanna share and we can grab some extra chips from the vending machine?"

"Sure thing," he replied, a touch of sadness to his voice. "Just really wanted my baby carrots." 

They walked into the breakroom and stopped in surprise as they were greeted with Dwight, standing next to a white tablecloth covered table, where he had plated Jim's lunch. His ham and cheese sandwich was sitting on a plate, the baby carrots were in a small dish and there was a grape soda already poured into a glass, with the rest of the can sitting next to it. "What's all this Dwight?" Jim asked as he pulled out his chair to sit down. 

"Oh nothing, just thought I'd do something nice for you," Dwight smiled, "Enjoy your lunch!" he said before backing out of the breakroom. 

"Wow," Jim whispered as Pam broke into a fit of giggles. 

--

"What is going on?" Dwight shouted to his computer screen as Jim returned to his desk. 

"What's going on buddy?" Jim asked as he sat down and took out his clipboard from the drawer. 

"Somehow my bobblehead went on the rampage over the weekend and posted the evidence all over Facebook. And before you write anything down, I'm using my lunch break to look at Facebook, so I'm not using any company time for personal endeavours," Dwight explained. "I needed to check what Mose got up to last night as he didn't return home until gone 5am and he knows we need to milk the goats at 4.30am or it throws them off of their schedule." He took a breath and glanced back at his screen, full of photos of his bobblehead having a very festive time. He paused on the picture of the doll laying down amongst the empty glasses of eggnog. "And then I noticed a friend request from bobble Dwight. And look at everything he's done. Do you think he was kidnapped?"

"Well, he can't have been kidnapped, because he's right there Dwight," Jim said, pointing to the bobblehead. "And did you get a ransom note?" 

"Well, no."

"Well then, he clearly wasn't kidnapped. Looks like he had a great time though, whatever he did," Jim said as he wrote down ‘owner of a drunk and disorderly bobblehead' in the naughty column. 

"No, no, that's not my fault!" Dwight protested. 

"Sorry, Dwight. I don't make the rules," Jim shrugged.

--

By 5pm, Dwight had made Jim three cups of coffee, completed his expense report, filled out three new order forms and even brought him a candy bar for an afternoon snack, all of which Jim had dutifully noted down on the ‘nice' list, apart from the afternoon snack, which went on both lists due to Dwight being a ‘sugar pusher' but also ‘concerned for energy levels'. 

"Are you two doing anything enjoyable this evening?" Dwight asked as he passed by reception to collect his coat from the rack.

"Um, probably just some takeout and a movie," Jim said as he leaned on the reception desk. "How about you?"

"Just sampling some of the canned and pickled beets to try and find the best year. I hope you find the takeout agreeable," Dwight said with a slight bow before he left the office. 

"Wow," Pam giggled. "So how's it been having Dwight be nice all day?"

"Beesly, you might just be a genius," Jim laughed as he leaned over the desk to kiss her.

Mrs Claus by MrsKHalpert
Author's Notes:
Tuesday, 21st December

Jim woke around 10 minutes before the morning alarm was due to go off, and after a full body stretch, he looked over to his right to see Pam sleeping soundly, her hair splayed all over the pillow and her face. They'd forgotten to turn off the string lights that were wrapped around their headboard the previous evending, and the glow from them cast a light around Pam's sleeping form. He watched her for a moment, still in awe that he could do so even after being together for so long, before he reached over to her nightstand to grab the fluffy reindeer wearing a Santa hat that she placed there at the beginning of December. He pushed her hair gently from her face, causing her to stir ever so slightly. He held the stuffed toy in front of her face and then loudly said, "Pam wake up Rudolph needs you," causing her to sit up screaming, knocking the toy out of the way in the process. 

"You're such an asshole," Pam croaked as she pushed the covers off of herself and got out of bed.

"But an asshole that you love with all of your heart?" he said with puppy dog eyes. 

"Not when you wake me up like that I don't," she said with angry eyebrows. They stared at each other for a moment, almost as if to see who would look away first. "At least it was better than your stupid bug thing," she finally relented, turning towards the bathroom. 

"It was a festive variation," he shrugged. 

"I'd rather you just wake me up nicely, or you know, not at all and just let me sleep." 

"But it's much more fun when you're awake," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Nope. No fun this morning. Not in the mood. Let's go open your damn envelope and get on with this day." 

"Don't be such a grump," he laughed, as he tried to swat at her butt, only to be met with glaring eyes. "Alright, alright, I'll make you a French Toast peace offering, how's that?" 

"You better," Pam glared before she walked out of the bedroom.

-- 

As the French Toast sizzled in the frying pan, Jim leaned against the counter next to the stove and opened the envelope marked ‘nine'. He pulled it out to see a cartoon of Dwight holding an order form. "Dwight always wants to close a big sale, but how will he cope with this feisty female?" Jim read out. He looked up expectantly at Pam in question of what was to happen today.

"Remember the nurse from the Fun Run?" she asked and Jim nodded with a slight smirk. "Well, she also has a more festive getup and it gave me a little idea." 

"Wait, how do you know this?" 

"Oh I overheard some of the warehouse guys talking about her. But anyways," she said. Jim made a motion for her to continue explaining. "So new prospective client calls, Dwight gets her to come in, and it's the stripper posing as Mrs Claus, looking for a new paper supplier to help with her husband's extensive needs. He just loves making lists, huge lists," she said, stretching her arms wide. "Could be a great account to land, especially just before the holidays," she grinned. 

"Well, we best get to work then and help Dwight out then," he smirked.

--

"Hey Jim," Pam said, holding the phone away from her ear, "I've got a new prospective client on hold. Are you free to take it?" 

Before Jim had the chance to so much as open his mouth, Dwight butted in. "That is nepotism and I won't allow it," Dwight shouted. "Pam, transfer the call to me instead." 

"Um," she paused, looking at Jim. 

"Yeah sure," Jim said. "I'm working on a couple new leads anyway. You take this one Dwight." 

"Pass it through Pam," Dwight said expectantly, straightening his tie as he waited for the call to be put through. "Dwight Shrute," he said as he picked up the receiver. He was quiet for a few minutes as he listened to the person on the other end of the line speak. "Would you like to come by the office today? We can discuss your needs further and sign the relevant paperwork. How is 4pm for you?" He paused for a moment. "Perfect. I'll see you then. Goodbye." He hung up the phone and began typing on his computer as Jim and Pam smiled at each other. 

-- 

At 4pm exactly, the door to Dunder Mifflin opened and in walked Elizabeth the Stripper wearing a red crushed velvet babydoll dress, trimmed in white fur, a pair of over the knee red and white striped socks and red patent pumps.

"Hi, can I help you?" Pam asked as Elizabeth reached reception. 

"Yes, I'm here to meet Dwight. I'm Kristal." 

"Take a seat," Pam said, gesturing to the grey couch, "I'll let him know you're here." She walked over to Dwight's desk, and passed Michael as she did so. 

"Oh hey, it's you!" Michael exclaimed, as he approached Elizabeth. "Nursing didn't work out huh?" Elizabeth smiled at him, slightly confused. "Who you meeting today?" 

"Uh, Dwight," she smiled. 

"Oh god, no," Michael groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. He turned around and looked at the bullpen. "Jimbag, are you busy?" 

"Um, just finishing up this sales report. What's up?" Jim asked, leaning back in his chair. 

"I need you to help Dwight with this sale."

"What? No. Why?" Dwight shouted, getting out of his chair.

Michael tried to shush him and stop him from making a scene. "Because she's clearly a two man job. That's what she said. But mainly because she's a woman and you can't talk to women and we don't want to lose this sale," he said through gritted teeth. 

Dwight stared at Michael and then at Jim. "Ok, fine," he finally relented. "Jim, you better not blow it."

"That's what she said," Michael laughed as Jim and Dwight stared at him.

--

"Please do come in," Dwight said, as he opened the door to the conference room. "Take a seat." 

"Thank you," Elizabeth smiled. 

"This is my colleague Jim, he'll be helping with some pricing today. Why don't you start by talking us through your paper needs today Kristal?" 

"Oh please, call me Kris," Elizabeth smiled, and Jim nodded with his eyes closed, just out of Dwight's eyesight. 

"Very well, Kris. Go ahead," Dwight gestured.

"Well, my husband runs a really successful toy company, but he's so adamant about doing all of the admin manually that we just go through so much paper you wouldn't believe. The man is always making lists."

"Sounds like a great way to do business," Dwight agreed. He leaned closer to Elizabeth. "Personally I never trust computers," he whispered. 

"Oh me neither. Kris, my husband, won't even let us have one in the shop." 

"You're Kris and your husband is Kris?" Jim asked.

"Well, I'm Kristal, he's Kristoph, but we both like to be Kris. Keeps things fun, don't ya think," she winked, causing Dwight to cough a little. 

Dwight cleared his throat. "So, uh, just how big are the lists that the other Kris makes?" 

"Oh big, so big," Elizabeth purred, causing Dwight to flush red and lose his train of thought. As he stammered for what to say next, Jim stepped in to help out. 

"I think I'd suggest going for our standard copy stock, don't you agree Dwight? Dwight?" Jim said with a nudge of his elbow.

"Um, yes, Definitely standard copy stock. We can do that for you for..." Dwight trailed off as he shuffled through various papers in front of him on the table.

"For $34.99 a box," Jim filled in. 

"Ah, yes. Thank you Jim. So $34.99 a box. Does that price work for you?" 

"I'll have to discuss it further with my husband. He's the one in charge after all. Kringle's Toy's wouldn't be what it is today without the big man running the show." 

"I've never heard of the company before. Are you new to Scranton?" 

Elizabeth looked at Jim with a slightly panicked expression. "Um, aren't you guys based a little further north?" Jim asked 

"Yeah we are, it's a little colder where we are." 

"Hmm, you should probably have contacted Dunder Mifflin Syracuse or Utica, but we won't tell them that, will we?" Dwight laughed at no one in particular, but found his own joke hilarious. "Are you expanding in size?" he asked once he regained his composure. "It would be good to know if we'll need to increase your monthly supplies." 

"You know, we're always growing to keep up with the demand. We have a lot of little guys working for us, and we just get more and more customers each year," Elizabeth explained.

"Excellent," Dwight grinned. "How about I get a contract drawn up and sent to your husband and we can take it from there?"

"Sounds great to me," Elizabeth said, practically hopping out of her seat. 

Jim and Dwight stood, and headed to the door. Jim opened the door and motioned for both Dwight and Elizabeth to go through. Just as they stepped through the door of the conference room, Michael's office door simultaneously opened. 

"Leaving so soon?" Michael said as he almost crashed into Elizabeth. 

"Well, these guys have been great," Elizabeth smiled. "They really know their stuff. I think Kris is going to be really impressed." 

"Kris?" Michael asked, confused. 

"My husband," Elizabeth explained. 

"Oh, is he a doctor? Is that where you guys met?" Michael asked.

"Um, no, he's a toy maker. Owns a toy shop. Big, big, toy shop," she said with a nod of her head.

"Going to be a great account," Dwight whispered through a static smile to Michael.

"Excellent," Michael smiled back.

Detective Dwight by MrsKHalpert
Author's Notes:
Wednesday, 22nd December

The alarm clock blared, but Pam's hand quickly flew out to turn it off as she groaned loudly. "Why do we have to work?" she moaned as she rolled over and buried her head in Jim's bare chest.

"Because otherwise we'd have to live on the street in a cardboard box and you wouldn't be getting any presents for Christmas other than whatever I could find in the trash," Jim croaked back at her as he pulled her closer to him under the covers. 

"I think I'd be ok with that if it meant no more early morning wake ups." 

"Oh, ok then. I'll just go take your Christmas gifts back then," he smirked as he rolled backwards away from Pam slightly as if he were pretending to get out of bed. 

"Don't you dare," she laughed, pulling him back down into bed.  

Jim raised an eyebrow at her. "You can't have it both ways, Beesly."

"I'm just saying, those ones are already bought and sitting wrapped under the tree, it would be a shame to have to go all the way back to the store," she reasoned as she combed her fingers through his chest hair.

Jim just laughed and pulled her even closer in his embrace. "Speaking of which, let's go see what today's gift for Dwight is," he laughed. He threw back the comforter and pulled on his blue pyjama pants as Pam stayed in the bed and tried to cover herself back up. "Come on lazy bones," he said, trying to get her up.

"I'll meet you there. Open it without me," Pam said as she closed her eyes for five more minutes. 

--

"We're going to be so late," Pam said as she applied her makeup in the car while Jim drove them to the office. 

"You've said that like twenty times. It's not like it really matters," Jim said as he pulled up to a red light. "Michael is out today working on that big account," he said with air quotes, as they both knew that he was really finishing his Christmas shopping and ice skating as per his personal pre-holiday tradition, "and Andy seemed pretty sick yesterday so he probably won't be in. And it's not like Phyllis or Stanley care." 

"But Angela and Dwight are still there," Pam said carefully as she dabbed her lipstick in the mirror.  

"Crap, Dwight!" Jim exclaimed, hitting the steering wheel. "I forgot today's card in the rush." Pam pulled an envelope with ‘ten' written on it out of her purse and smiled at Jim. "Beesly, you're a genius." 

"Obviously," she laughed. 

Jim carried on driving for a few more minutes before he pulled into the parking lot. As soon as the car was in park, he grabbed the envelope that Pam had placed on the dashboard and ripped it open. "It's been a while since Dwight solved a cryptic mystery. Someone poisoned the gluhwein, who could it be?" he read out with a laugh, both at the riddle but also of the little cartoon of Dwight dressed in his elf clothes, holding a magnifying glass. "Wow, this should be a fun one. Come on, let's head upstairs and see what he makes of the situation."

"It's just such a shame he turned in that uniform," Pam said with a giggle as she opened her door.

--

"Where is Michael?" Dwight demanded as soon as Jim and Pam walked into the office.

"How should I know?" Jim replied as he took his seat at his desk. "We literally just got in."

"He's working on the Lackawanna Department of Health account today. He didn't want to be disturbed, remember?" Pam said as she picked up the phone to check the voicemails. "Oh wait, he's left a voicemail." She held the receiver firmly to her ear and concentrated on listening for a few moments. "He said he'd been puking his guts out all night, he's taking a sick day and no one under any circumstance, especially Dwight," she said, nodding her head forward, "is to contact him."

"That's so strange," Jim said, leaning back in his chair, "he seemed fine last night." 

"You saw Michael last night?" Dwight asked, a jealous tone clearly apparent in his voice, although he tried to hide it. 

"Yeah, we bumped into him at the Christmas market last night at the gluhwein stall," Jim explained. 

"It was so cute," Pam added. "We went with Jim's mom and dad, and then his sister and her new boyfriend joined us, it was a..."

"No one cares Pam," Dwight barked, interrupting her. "Michael is sick. I must care for him." He stood and went to grab his briefcase. 

"Uh, uh, uh. Remember what the voicemail said. Especially not you," Jim warned. 

Dwight slumped down in his chair and threw his briefcase under his desk. He busied himself with a sales report for a few minutes until he looked up and turned around. "And where is Andy?"

"Oh he left a voicemail too saying he was taking a sick day," Pam said quickly. "Seems like he was up vomiting all night too. Maybe there's something going around? He wasn't feeling great yesterday."

"That was a sore throat, that wouldn't cause vomiting," Dwight replied.

"Guess we'll never know then," Jim said as he opened a spreadsheet.

-- 

"Hey mom," Jim said as he picked up his phone. "How are you?" He paused to listen to his ‘mother' on the other end of the phone, and then loudly said, "you're sick too? That's so strange. You're like the third person that's been vomiting. How's dad?" He paused again. "Sick as well? Man, I hope you guys feel better." Jim replaced the receiver and glanced at Dwight out of the corner of his eye. 

"Your mom ok?" Pam asked as she walked over to Jim's desk and perched on the edge. 

"No, her and my dad are really sick."

"Oh no!" Pam explained. "But they were both fine yesterday. Maybe it was something that they ate at the market?"  

"No, couldn't have been. They ate before we met them," Jim said, clearly baffled. "The only thing I saw them have was a cup of gluhwein."

"Hmm, weird," she replied as she got up and walked back to reception, briefly glancing back at Dwight who, having taken off his glasses, was deep in thought. 

-- 

At lunch, Jim and Pam were sitting together, quietly eating their sandwiches, when Dwight walked into the breakroom. He pulled out a chair at the table next to them and sat down, throwing down his brown paper bag with his lunch in as he did so.  

"Oh Larisa just messaged me, she's sick too. Isn't this just crazy?" Pam said, loudly enough for Dwight to pay attention to. 

"Who's that?" Dwight demanded. "Did she have any of the gluhwein?"

"Larisa is my sister," Jim explained. "And, uh, yeah I think she did actually. Right Pam?" 

"Yeah, she bought some just after Michael did, remember? When we saw him in the queue," Pam prompted.  

"Oh yeah," Jim replied. "But we had some too though and we're ok? Weird huh?" 

"We got ours from the place with the green cups though, not the blue cups like everyone else," Pam added. And with that Dwight got up and left the break room with no explanation. 

"I think it's working," Pam whispered with a giggle to Jim. 

--

As Jim and Pam returned to the bullpen after they finished their lunch, they noticed that Dwight wasn't at his desk, but hovering behind reception at the fax machine.  

"Can I help you Dwight?" Pam asked as she took her seat.  

"No thank you, I'm waiting for a fax," he replied.  

"Well you know I can bring that over to you when it arrives," Pam said, turning on her computer.  

"No thank you. This is of the utmost importance."

"Dwight, I handle the sales faxes every day, I'm pretty sure I can deliver your fax when it arrives," she said as she hit a few keys on the keyboard.  

"‘Pretty sure' is not good enough Pamela. And besides," he looked around and lowered his voice, "this information is classified." 

"Oh really?" Pam asked, spinning around in her chair and getting up. "What is it?" 

Dwight looked around again. "Can I trust you?" Pam crossed her heart and nodded. "This is a list of every vendor from the Christmas market. I'm going to work out what is going on."

"Isn't it just that people got food poisoning?" she suggested.  

"Pam, don't be an idiot. You can't get food poisoning from gluhwein. First of all, it's a drink not a food. And second, you can't get drink poisoning from it because it's heated and any bacteria would be killed. If this list of vendors I'm waiting on shows what I think it will, then we can assume sabotage is involved." 

"Why would there be sabotage?" Pam asked. "It's just wine." 

"How dare you. Gluhwein is not just wine. Each family has their own recipe passed down from generation to generation. You don't want to know what the special ingredient in the Shrute family gluhwein is." Dwight leaned a little closer. "It's not entirely legal." Just then, the fax machine whirled to life before he could continue. Dwight grabbed the freshly warmed papers and immediately started scanning them with his eyes. "Just as I thought," he muttered to himself.  

-- 

Over the next hour, Jim and Pam did very little work as they watched Dwight through the blinds to the conference room as he frantically worked. He had a large map of the market printed out and spread over the table, while pictures of three men were taped to the wall, with various post it notes stuck to them. 

"I'm gonna go in," Jim whispered to Pam. "I'll take him a cup of coffee. Keep his energy levels up." 

"Good idea," Pam giggled.  

Jim made Dwight a black coffee and knocked on the conference room door. "Who is it?" Dwight shouted through the closed door. 

"Just me buddy," Jim replied as he opened the door. "I bought you a coffee." 

Dwight immediately strode over to where Jim was standing and knocked the cup of coffee out of his hand. "Trust no one," he said through gritted teeth. 

"Dwight, what is going on?" Jim said, looking at the spilt coffee all over the floor. 

Dwight pulled Jim closer inside the conference room by his arm and shut the door behind him. "I'm uncovering a world of scandal at the Christmas market like you wouldn't believe." 

"Yikes," Jim said as he took a sip from his own coffee. 

"Yikes indeed. And don't drink that, idiot," Dwight said pointing to Jim's red and white mug.  

"So what's going on?" Jim asked, putting his mug down and sliding it across the table.  

"Well, the festive market has always been dominated by two gluhwein stalls," Dwight began, "Hans & Family," he said, pointing to a black and white picture taped to the wall, before moving to the next photo, "and Braunschweig das Getränk." 

"Right," Jim said, filing his arms across his chest. 

"Now these businesses have always respected each other, and they stick to their own sides of the market. But, according to this list of vendors," Dwight said, holding up the list that was faxed over, "there's a new stall. And look," he said, pulling Jim by his shirt towards the table with the map on it, causing Jim to stumble slightly. "It's right here," he said, jabbing his finger to a point on the map that had been circled in red pen.  

"Woahh," Jim gasped. "It's right next to this other red circle."

"That red circle is Hans & Family. And guess what they have?" 

"Gluhwein!" Jim said with gusto. 

"No, idiot. Blue cups. The same ones that everyone who got sick drank from." 

"No," Jim said, feigning worry. "But that means." 

"Yes, Jim. Hans & Family's gluhwein has been poisoned!" 

"You've gotta do something with this information Dwight. You've got to go and save Hans," Jim said, pointing towards the door.  

"I'm coming," Dwight shouted as he ran out of the conference room and headed straight out of the office. 

Jim picked up his coffee from the table and walked out towards reception. "What was that about?" Pam asked as he leaned over her desk. 

"Oh he's figured out ‘who dun it' and he's off to shut the operation down," Jim smiled before taking a sip of his office. 

"Oh god, is he going to go and harass some poor market stall person?" Pam asked, her eyes wide. Her hand flew to cover her mouth that was agape with worry. 

"Oh no," Jim said, putting his coffee down. "Last night was the market's last date in Scranton. They're pitching up in Carbondale for tonight as we speak," he grinned. 

Take a day off by MrsKHalpert
Author's Notes:
Thursday, 23rd December

When Jim awoke the next morning, he reached out for Pam, but was surprised to find the bed empty. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked around the room, as if hoping to catch her from her hiding place or something, but to his dismay, didn't find her. He pulled back the covers and slipped on his pyjama pants, before padding downstairs in search of his fiancée. "Beesly?" he called out as his feet reached the bottom of the stairs. 

"In here," Pam called from the living room. Jim wandered in and found her sitting on the floor surrounded by presents, gift wrap and bows. She looked at him with a small smile.

"Why are you wrapping presents at seven in the morning?" he asked as he sat down next to her on the floor and pulled him towards her for a hug, pressing a kiss into her hair.

"I've been up since six," she yawned into his bare chest.

"Why?" he mumbled.

"Because there are so many presents for your family," she laughed, gesturing to the mess currently occupying their living room floor.

"I'm sorry," he said earnestly. "Want a tea? Want me to help?" 

"Tea? Yes please. Help? No thank you," Pam replied as she reached for the next gift. "I'll only need to rewrap everything," she laughed.

"So rude," Jim said with a shake of his head and a smile as he pushed himself up on the floor. He returned five minutes later with two steaming mugs in his hand and the envelope with ‘eleven' written on it, tucked under his armpit.

"Thanks," Pam smiled as she took the mug from him in both hands, before placing it on the floor next to her.

Jim took his seat back on the floor, carefully placing his mug of coffee on the low table to his left that Pam had pushed out of the way. He pulled the envelope out from under his arm and tore it open. A drawing of Dwight tucked up in bed, snoring away, took up the corner of the card. "This week we've pushed Dwight's knopf," Jim read out. "Sorry, what's a knopf?"

"Oh, it's german for button," Pam said as she tore off a piece of tape from the dispenser.

"Right. Of course," he nodded. "This week we've pushed Dwight's knopf, let's give him an extra day off," he continued before looking up at Pam. 

"This is an easy one, we're telling Dwight he's got an extra day of vacation for Christmas Eve," she grinned. 

"Oh thank god, I'm kinda exhausted from all this pranking," he laughed. Pam scowled at him before pushing him backwards into a pile of discarded packaging, but Jim was too quick and took her with him, pulling Pam flush against him. After a few moments of wrestling and tickling, the present wrapping was long forgotten.

--

"Morning Michael," Pam said cheerfully from reception just after 9am as Michael walked in the door, but he held his finger up and then flapped his arms about as if to shush her. She got up and walked over to where he was standing, doubled over, just out of sight of the main office. "What's wrong?" Pam whispered, crouching down to try to see his face.

"I got injured skating yesterday. Some stupid kids were playing tag and I joined in and when I went to catch one of them, he ducked and I went into the side. I hit it so hard. That's what she said," he groaned in pain.

"Oh Michael," Pam soothed. "Want some help getting to your office?"

"Can you create a distraction? I don't want people to know I'm injured."

Pam thought for a split second. "What about if we told people you've been sick, but you really needed to come in today. So that's why you're doubled over, but that people should leave you alone?"

"Pamphlet!" Michael exclaimed, standing up but then doubling backover in pain. "You're just full of great ideas. Ok, help me to my office." As they made their way to Michael's office, completely ungracefully and incredibly attention drawing, the whole bullpen watched the spectacle. Once she'd settled Michael in his office, Pam closed the door and made an announcement to everyone. "Hey guys, Michael's still really sick from yesterday but needs to be in today. No one should speak to him unless it's absolutely necessary. Alright?" Everyone mumbled their agreement, apart from Dwight who stood. "Dwight, what are you doing?" she asked. 

"As Michael's number two," Dwight began. 

"I'm the number two buddy," Jim interrupted.

"Well, as Michael's best friend, I need to make sure he's ok."

"I really wouldn't disturb him," Pam warned. "He seemed really sick, and you don't wanna get vomited on, do you?"

"I guess not, no," Dwight finally relented as he slunk down into his chair. 

--

Just as Dwight hung up his phone from a sales call, Pam stood from her desk and turned to the fax machine. She read the fax that had just been sent through before folding it up into a small square and slipping it into her palm, and covering it with her cardigan sleeve. She walked by Jim's desk and dropped the paper onto his desk, but it bounced off and landed on the carpet. She immediately bent down to pick it up and thrust it into Jim's lap, before running off to the bathroom.  

"What's that?" Dwight asked, peering over Jim's desk.

Jim looked down at the paper in his lap and immediately crumpled it up. "Um, nothing, nothing at all," he replied.

-- 

"So finish the Christmas shopping? And then go get some lunch at Cugino's maybe?" Jim asked Pam as he made her a cup of tea in the kitchen.

"Sounds great. But I definitely want to sleep in," she replied. 

"But we need to get out there and hit the shops before the crowds go crazy." 

"Idiots," Dwight said as he passed by them from the bathroom. "You can't finish your Christmas shopping on Christmas Day." 

"We're not going to Dwight," Jim replied, confused. 

"How are you going to shop then have lunch tomorrow then? It's a work day, idiot," Dwight said before walking out of the kitchen. 

-- 

"...sounds great to me," Pam trailed off as Dwight entered the breakroom at lunch time. She looked down at her sandwich, as Jim quickly gulped from his can of grape soda. 

"What are you two idiots talking about?" Dwight demanded as he sat down at the table next to them. 

"Nothing, forget it," Jim said, moving the crumpled fax off of the table.

"Tell me or I'll tell Michael."

"We can't disturb Michael, remember?" Pam said. She gave Jim a sideways glance and raised her eyebrow slightly.

"Can you keep a secret?" Jim asked quietly, leaning towards Dwight.

"Of course. Shrutes are known for their covertness," Dwight replied quietly, looking around the empty breakroom.  

"Ok, so," Pam began. "A fax from Corporate came through before that was marked top secret, and it says that they're going to give us the day off tomorrow for Christmas Eve. But no one is allowed to know just yet."

"Why not?" Dwight asked.

"Here look," Jim said, passing the fax to Dwight. "It says they're going to announce it today at 4.55pm, they just don't want anyone slacking off before then."

"Makes sense. Most of the people here would leave now if they had half the chance," Dwight added as he took the memo from Jim and examined it. "Does Michael know? This was obviously for him." 

"I'm not sure we should disturb him with this. The excitement might be too much for him, what with his sickness and all. And also, Michael can't keep a secret in the slightest," Jim said. 

"So we should probably keep it between ourselves? Until Corporate announces it, right?" Pam suggested. 

"Well, that won't be an issue for me. I'm going on a sales call at 4pm today and I won't be back in the office for the rest of the day."

"Well that works out perfectly," Jim smiled, before taking a sip of grape soda.

--

At 3.58pm, Dwight put his belongings into his briefcase and closed it, before standing and tucking his chair under his desk. "Goodbye Jim," he said loudly. "See you tomorrow." 

"Yes you will," Jim said, leaning back in his chair with a smile.

"Goodbye Pamela," Dwight said as he passed by reception to pick up his coat. "Have a Merry Christmas," he whispered to her.

I Believe by MrsKHalpert
Author's Notes:
Friday, 24th December

"Ow," Jim moaned as a pillow hit his head and he was rudely awoken the next morning. He pushed the pillow onto the floor and sat up, leaning on his elbows. "What was that for?" he asked, his hair sticking up at all angles.

"Get up," Pam said, towering over him. "We're running late."

"We are?" Jim asked, glancing at the alarm clock. "No we're not. Why are you dressed already? Why am I awake so early?"

"Because we only have one day left until Christmas and there is still so much to do," Pam moaned, turning her back on Jim. 

"Like what?" he asked, still in bed. 

"Like bake the pie that I promised I'd bring your mom tomorrow, and clean the house, and get all the gifts into the car. And did you write those Christmas cards I left out for you?" She began throwing random items of clothing into an overnight bag. "And you need to pack your bag. I promised your mom we'd stay tomorrow night."

"Ugh," Jim groaned, falling back into the pillows. He watched Pam beavering about their bedroom, trying to pack. "Ok, Beesly, calm down. We've got plenty of time to get the gifts into the car tomorrow morning," he began.

"No, we should do it tonight so that we know it's done. I don't want to be rushing around in the morning, especially as she wants us there so early." 

"Ok, look," he said, pulling her onto the bed. "I promise you, once we're home tonight, I will put all the gifts into the car and pack my bag while you make the pie, ok? And we really don't need to clean the house today. It's not like we've done that in weeks anyway, one more day won't make a difference." 

Pam shrugged and nodded slightly. "And you'll write the cards?"

"And I'll write the cards, I promise," he said, leaning up to kiss her. "Oh that reminds me, it's the last advent calendar. Come on, let's go open it," he grinned, reaching for her hand.

As Pam went over to make Jim a coffee, and her third tea of the morning, Jim sat at the kitchen table and pulled the last envelope out of the card. He ran his finger over the back of it, before looking up at Pam with a smile. "This really was an amazing gift, thank you," he said.  

Pam walked over and stood between Jim's legs, running her hands over his bare shoulders. She bent down to kiss him. "You're very welcome," she smiled as they pulled apart, but stayed standing where she was as Jim opened the envelope. 

"These last 11 days for Dwight have been an ordeal. Let's make him believe that Santa is real," Jim read out from the card, smiling at the little cartoon of Dwight gazing up at Santa in his sleigh at the top of the card. "And how exactly are we going to do that?" he asked. 

She shrugged simply. "Better get your thinking cap on," she said with a giggle, before leaning down to kiss him again.

--

"Where is Dwight?" Michael asked as he stepped out of his office, looking down at his watch. "He's never this late." 

Pam's hands flew to her mouth as she tried to hide her laughter as she glanced over at Jim. ‘Oh my god,' she mouthed at him. Jim smirked and tried to cover his laughter. "Um, I think he was going to the dentist this morning," Pam finally said.

"Hmm," Michael replied, before walking back into his office and slamming the door. 

As soon as the door was shut, Pam quickly picked up the phone receiver and dialled Dwight's number as Jim walked up to reception and leaned against her desk. "Hey Dwight," she said into the phone as the call was answered. "The fax never came through last night confirming we had today off, so we've all had to come in. I'm sorry I never called, there was an emergency and I had to get home." She paused to listen to Dwight shouting on the other end of the phone, moving the receiver slightly away from her ear. "Don't worry, I covered for you. I told Michael you were at the dentist, he'll never know," she whispered and paused as Dwight spoke. "You're welcome, Dwight." 

-- 

Dwight came running into the office approximately 30 minutes later, his cellphone held between his ear and his shoulder as he tried to simultaneously write on an order form that he had placed upside down on his stomach. As he rounded the first clump of desks, Dwight accidentally knocked the top of Jim's head with his elbow, before nudging his chair back with his foot and sitting down. "Thank you Mr Wordson, I'll get that right out to you. Good day to you," he said, before hanging up his cellphone and grabbing his desk phone receiver. As he waited for the call to connect, Dwight tapped at his computer to turn it on, before grabbing a calculator that he proceeded to jab at. Jim just stared at him in amazement, his mouth slightly open with a pen resting against his bottom lip. "Mr Snarls please," Dwight said when the call finally connected. "Oh, I see," he said, disappointment evident in his voice. "I'll call back in the new year then." He slammed down the phone and reached for a folder.

"In a hurry there Dwight?" Jim asked. 

"Because of the Corporate screw up, I'm working at double speed to make up for that fact that I've missed 45 minutes of work," Dwight said matter of factly, his eyes not leaving his computer screen.

"Just like the big guy huh? Although I guess you can't work as fast as him," Jim said, looking down at his expense report. 

"What big guy? What are you talking about?" Dwight asked, finally looking over at Jim. 

"You know?" Jim nodded. "Santa? Christmas Eve is his busiest day of the year. He must be working crazy fast today. 

"Don't be an idiot Jim, Santa isn't real." 

"Then how do you explain all the gifts under the tree, and the half eaten cookies in the morning? And I swear my parents' chimney never used to have bricks missing from it until once when I was a kid and I heard this loud noise on Christmas Eve. I'm sure that was from a reindeer." 

"Jim, there is no such thing as Santa. I don't have time for this," Dwight said as he reached for his phone again. 

-- 

"Everyone sent their lists to Santa this year?" Michael asked as he walked around the bullpen, clearly bored later that morning. 

"Yup, I've asked for a hundred grand," Jim smirked as he leant backwards in his chair.

"Greedy," Michael said as he pointed at Jim. "Phyllis, how about you?" 

"Oh, Bobby already got me everything I could ever want. I don't need anything from Santa," Phyllis smiled coyly. 

"Bleugh," was all Michael had to say. "Stanley?" 

"Santa is for children, I am not a child," Stanley drawled.  

"Christmas Pam?" Michael asked, turning around to face Pam.  

"Two tickets to Paris," she smiled before looking over at Jim.

"Alright, enough of the lovey dovey crap you two," Michael spat. "Dwight, what have you asked Santa for?" 

"I have not, nor will ever, ask Santa for a present because he does not exist," Dwight said as he typed away on his keyboard. 

"Not even as a kid?" Pam asked. 

"Shrutes do not recognise Santa Claus. Belsnickel, yes. On Christmas Day we receive functional gifts from one another however. Personal highlights for me have included my first pitchfork, an impressive log and my great grandfather's work boots," Dwight explained. 

"So there was nothing you ever wanted just for fun?" she asked. 

Dwight looked down at his desk and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "No," he said clearly before turning back to his computer monitor.  

"I always wanted an Easy Bake oven when I was a girl," Phyllis smiled. "But now I know I can pay people to cook for me, I don't need one anymore." 

"I wanted my parents' love and attention," Andy chimed in. "Or you know," he cleared his throat, "my own sailing boat."

"There was really nothing you ever wanted Dwight?" Pam probed again. 

"Fine," Dwight finally relented. "When I was eight, I asked for a Cylon Centurion action figure. I did not receive it. That is the end of the story." He picked up his phone receiver and dialled a number, oblivious to Jim and Pam's delighted faces.  

--

"Ok, so I found this on eBay," Pam said quietly, pointing at her computer screen as Jim leaned over her shoulder twenty minutes later. He scanned the page quickly noting the seller's location. "I messaged and I can go pick it up this afternoon if you can create a distraction for Dwight?" she asked.  

"On it," Jim replied before reaching forward to grab a jellybean. 

-- 

"What was that?" Jim asked, looking up at the ceiling during a particularly quiet moment of the early afternoon. He'd just returned from the kitchen with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk, and was about to take a bite of the cookie when the noise interrupted him. 

"What was what?" Dwight asked.

"There was a really loud clatter up there," Jim said, still looking up at the ceiling. 

"A clatter Jim? Really? What are you, in a Christmas poem or something?"

A noise from above startled them both. "See look, there it was again," Jim said, getting up from his chair. "You definitely heard that right?"

"Actually, I did," Dwight replied, staring at the ceiling. He rifled through his drawer, looking for his flashlight. As soon as he found it, he climbed up onto his desk and pushed aside a ceiling tile so that he could peer into the dark void. "It's all clear," he said after looking around. Another noise came from above, causing Dwight to strain his neck even more. "We should go check in with Woods & Grammercy," he said, climbing back down. 

"Lead the way," Jim said, holding his arm out in front of him.  

Ten minutes later, after being refused entry at both Woods & Grammercy and Cress Tool & Die, Jim and Dwight found themselves on the roof of Scranton Business Park looking for clues as to what had caused the noise.  

"Come on Dwight," Jim said, as he kicked at a small pile of rubble, "there's nothing up here. Let's go back to the office."

"Wait," Dwight replied, crouching down. "Look at this."

Jim bent down for a closer look. "What is...oh gross," he exclaimed, standing up. "Is that?"

"Faeces," Dwight replied before Jim could finish his sentence.

"But why would it be up here? Unless. No, forget I said anything."

"Oh ha ha," Dwight deadpanned. "No, I don't think it's from a flying reindeer, idiot. This is clearly manure from the bovidae family, not the cervidae family." Jim just looked at him blankly. "It's cow poop, not deer poop, Jim."

"Oh. I did not know there was that much of a difference," Jim said quietly as he turned away from Dwight, scratching his neck. 

Dwight walked around the roof in circles for a few more moments, hands on his hips, deep in thought. "Come on, let's go," he said, walking back over to the hatch. Just before he reached it, he tripped slightly on something. He bent down to inspect what had tripped him up. "What is this?" he asked, holding it up in the air. 

"Looks like some gift wrap to me," Jim said, peering closely at the red paper with Christmas trees printed on it in Dwight's hand. "And some gold ribbon. It's just trash, Dwight. Come on, it's cold. Let's go."

Dwight took one last look around the roof with a scowl on his face, before he tossed the gift wrap back onto the ground and made his way back to the office.  

--

"Ok, very funny," Jim said as he returned to his desk. "Who ate my cookies?" Dwight rolled his eyes as he took his seat at his desk. 

"I haven't seen anyone touch them," Phyllis said, turning her head slightly towards Jim from her desk.  

"Stanley, was it you?" 

"I do not need to steal food, I have my own thank you very much," Stanely replied, not looking up from his crossword.  

"Whoever took them, I'm not mad. But did you need to drink the milk too?" Jim asked. "Hey what's this?" he asked, bending down to retrieve something that was just under his desk. "Hey that's weird," he said, bringing it up. "Isn't this the same gift wrap that we saw on the roof?" 

"Gimme that," Dwight said, snatching the red paper and gold ribbon from Jim. "Are you sure you didn't bring it down from the roof? Or was it stuck to your shoe?" 

"Yeah, that must be it," Jim replied, picking at the cookie crumbs on the plate. 

-- 

"Ok, I'm calling it," Michael said at 4pm. "Quitting time. Let's go." He clapped his hands together as if trying to chase everyone out of the office. 

"Alright," Jim exclaimed, jumping out of his chair. "We are outta here."

"Just one second, I need to sort out one last thing," Pam said to Jim. "Hey Dwight, do you mind double checking the shredder for me before we go? There was an important document I needed to shred and it's not working. I wouldn't want to leave it over the weekend in case it fell into the wrong hands."

"Fine," Dwight huffed as he walked over to reception and turned towards the shredder. He pressed various buttons and checked the blades but nothing seemed to make a difference. He followed the electric cable down to the plug and found that it was not connected to the wall. "It's not plugged in, idiot," Dwight said as he plugged the lead into the outlet.  

"Wow," Pam laughed, hitting her head with her hand. "Thanks Dwight." She grabbed a piece of paper from her desk and turned around to shred it as Dwight walked back to his desk. "I'll just be a sec," she said to Jim who had wandered over to reception and was reaching for his jacket. 

"What is this?" Dwight asked loudly from his desk. 

"What's what buddy?" Jim shouted from reception.

"This package?" Dwight asked, holding up a small box that had been wrapped in the same red Christmas tree gift wrap with a gold ribbon tied around it. 

"Looks like a Christmas gift Dwight," Jim replied as he slipped his jacket on.

"Where did it come from? It wasn't here before I went over to reception." 

"Can't help you there," Jim replied. He turned towards Pam. "You ready to go?" he asked her. 

"Yup, I'll just set the phones to voicemail," she smiled and began pressing buttons.

"Bye Dwight," Jim called out. 

"No, wait," Dwight shouted as Jim and Pam turned to leave. "Look, it's wrapped in the same gift wrap as we found on the roof."

"It's just a Christmas gift Dwight, I wouldn't read too much into it," Pam said as she took her coat down from the rack. 

"Who's it from? There's no note on it," Dwight said, turning the gift over in his hands.

"Can't help you there. Why don't you open it?" Jim suggested. 

Dwight looked at him with narrowed eyes before tearing into the paper. He ripped off the gift wrap, letting it fall to the floor, before opening the white cardboard box that was inside. He tentatively pulled the flap of the box open and pulled out a 4.5 inch action figure of a Cylon Centurion. "What the?" Dwight shouted, dropping the toy onto his desk as if it were made of burning steel. "Who did this?" 

"What is it Dwight?" Pam asked, walking over to his desk to look. 

"It's a Battlestar Galactica action figure from 1978," he replied, picking up the toy again to inspect it.

"Oh hey, like the one you asked for as a kid?" Jim asked, walking over to join Pam. "Nice." 

"But how?" Dwight asked, completely confused. "Where's it come from?" He slunk down into his chair.

"Maybe it was from Santa after all?" Jim smiled.  

"Shut up, Jim," Diwght snapped, still staring at the model.

"And Merry Christmas to you too Dwight," Jim said. "Alright, let's go," he said to Pam.

"Merry Christmas Dwight," Pam called as she and Jim left the office. 

Dwight stared at the toy, before pushing his chair back and noticing two muddy boot prints on the carpet just underneath his desk. He got on all fours to examine the footprints, clutching the action figure as he did so.  

"Merry Christmas Dwight," Michael called as he left the office. "Don't stay on your knees all weekend," he laughed. "That's what she said," he called over his shoulder. 

Dwight barely registered what Michael said to him and instead just looked up at his bobblehead sitting on his desk, still wearing its miniature Santa hat, and whispered ‘thank you.'

Merry Prankmas by MrsKHalpert
Author's Notes:
Saturday, 25th December

"Merry Christmas, Beesly," Jim said as he woke up on Christmas morning.

"Merry Christmas," Pam croaked as she rolled over into Jim. After a lazy kiss, she glanced at the alarm clock and sat bolt up, taking the covers with her.

"Woah, what's going on?" he exclaimed, trying to get the covers back.

"We're late, come on, we gotta be at your parents by nine. We should have set the alarm clock last night. What were we thinking?" she groaned.

"I don't think we were thinking very clearly last night," he smirked, recalling what had happened once they'd made it home from the office and finished their chores with a bottle of red wine.  

Pam blushed and swatted Jim's arm. "Come on, let's get up. Quick shower, then we gotta get going." 

"Alright, alright," he said, following Pam out of bed and into the bathroom.

--

Forty five minutes later, Pam was running around the house, grabbing the last items that they needed and calling for Jim to put their bags into the car. "You wrote the rest of the Christmas cards right?" she asked as they passed in the hallway. 

"Yup, and I grabbed both our bags. Just the pie to take, but you can hold that for the journey right?

"Sure. And all the presents are in the trunk already? she asked. 

"You know I put them in there last night, like you asked," he said with a roll of his eyes. "Where are you going?" he asked as he watched her walk into the living room. 

"Just double checking, I don't want us to leave any behind," she called over her shoulder. He shook his head and laughed as he followed her into the living room, ready with a quick comment as if to prove his point that he had indeed listened to what she'd asked. "See," she said, holding two gifts up that she found under the tree.

"What are those?" he asked, taking the gifts from her.

"For the kids?" she suggested.

"No, look. This one's for you and this is for me," he said, holding up the two gifts that were wrapped in the red Christmas tree paper with gold ribbon on them.

"Very funny," she said, taking the gift with her name on it.

"What do you mean?" he asked, confused.

"Did Santa visit us last night?" she asked with a roll of her eyes.

"Yeah right," he laughed. "Should we?" Jim shrugged, poised to open his gift.

"Sure."

They both tore into their gifts, and stood in the middle of the living room, laughing at what they found. Pam was holding two tickets to Paris, Texas, while Jim held a 100 Grand candy bar. 

"Nice prank to round off the week," Pam laughed.

"I didn't do this," Jim said earnestly. "You did it!"

"Babe, I came up with twelve Christmas themed pranks, along with sorting all the gifts and the dessert and everything else. You really think I had the mental capacity to come up with another prank last minute from a throwaway comment to Michael?" she asked, her face completely seriously. 

"Absolutely I do," he smiled.

She laughed and shook her head. "Well, if it wasn't you, then maybe it really was Santa," she giggled looking at the tickets in her hand. "Come on, we don't wanna be late."

End Notes:

My holiday fic challenge words were:
- Advent calendar
- Karaoke
- Drunk, pranky Jim
- Reindeer
- Something unseasonal
Hope you found them all!!

My Secret Santa request was for Dwim 

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

This story archived at http://mtt.just-once.net/fanfiction/viewstory.php?sid=6199