Jim wiped his hand across his face, as he sat in his car in front of the building.  Getting up his nerve to go in.  How the Hell did I get myself into a situation like this?, he wondered to himself.

 

It had been awkward in the office ever since he had returned from Stamford.  He and Pam had never really been the same since Casino Night.  Of course, he was glad that Pam had called off the wedding, and if his declaration to her had any part in that, then he refused to allow himself to regret it.  But if it hadn’t.   If she was going to break off her engagement anyway, how much better it would have been for him if he had never said anything.  He could have just asked her out as naturally as anyone else, never letting on how deeply he already loved her.  Now it was too late.  He had overwhelmed her with his declaration, she had turned him down, twice, and it was over.

 

 Well, enough of that, he sighed.  Now not only do I have Pam feeling awkward around me, I have Karen too. 

He didn’t really know how Karen would be today.  He realized that he didn’t really know her all that well at all.  She was beautiful, fun and friendly and, on paper at least, a perfect girlfriend.  A perfect chance for him to leave Pam behind and move on.   He simply couldn’t do it, though, in the end.

 

Casually dating and hanging out together had been fine.  He knew, from the very beginning, that she liked him more than he liked her.  He was trying to like her as much as she liked him.  He could think of no reason why he wasn’t really that into her.  She was attractive, funny, smart -- he really could not think of any single thing to fault her with.  He seemed numb to other women ever since he had met Pam.  This was Katie all over again.  He had nothing to offer anyone right now.  Maybe if they had stayed in Stamford….but here, in Scranton, seeing Pam every day….

 

So now he had hurt Karen, like he had hurt Katie.  Except he still had to work with Karen, still had to see her every day, still had to see her every day in the office where he now also had to see Pam every day.  How the Hell did I get myself into this situation?

 

Jim got out of the car, picked up his briefcase from the back seat, swung the strap over his shoulder, and walked towards the door of the Scranton Business Park. 

 

*****

 

Pam wiped her hand across her face, as she sat at her desk in the office.  Getting up her nerve to put on her “I’m just fine” face to everyone at work, and especially to Jim and Karen.  How the Hell did I get myself into a situation like this? she wondered to herself.

 

It had been awkward in the office ever since he had returned from Stamford.  She and Jim had never really been the same since Casino Night.  Of course, he was the reason that Pam had called off the wedding.  She had had no idea that Jim would transfer to another branch.  He had caught her off guard on Casino Night, and when she realized what she had to do, he was already gone.  She had done it anyway, and gone through the whole thing by herself.  Not by herself, exactly, her Mom was there for her of course.  But when Jim never called,  never came back to talk to her,  never asked her out or sought her out at all, she feared the worst.  It was too late.  When he returned to Scranton, her final hopes were dashed.  He was back, but he had moved on already.  He was dating a wonderful girl that try as she might, Pam just couldn’t dislike.  It was over.

 

 Well, enough of that, she sighed.  If he and Karen ever break up, THEN I’ll have to say something about how I feel.   I’ll have to take that risk.  But that won’t ever happen. Karen knows a great man when she sees one.  I just have to keep putting on my “everything is fine” face.   

 

Pam turned on her PC, checked the fax machine and went in to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee for the office and make herself a pot of tea.

 

*****

 

Karen wiped her hand across her face, as she looked at herself in the mirror of the Dunder-Mifflin Ladies Room.  Getting up her nerve to put on her “I’m just fine” face to everyone at work, and especially to Jim.  How the Hell did I get myself into a situation like this? she wondered to herself.

 

She hadn’t really known him that well.  Enough to know she really liked him.  Enough to work really hard to get him to show any interest in her.  Of course he was the reason she had moved all the way to Scranton in the merger.  She would never have accepted the transfer otherwise.  Stamford was a far bigger town, and an easy commute to New York City.  But Jim was going back to Scranton.   She decided for sure the night he told her he was going back.  They had all gone out for drinks, she and Jim were the last to leave.  She wasn’t completely sure if she had initiated the kiss goodnight, or he had.  But it was a good one and he seemed to enjoy it too.  It held enough promise for her to decide to move to Scranton.   

 

Now she just felt like a fool.  In the first week in Scranton, she could sense that Jim was not all that in to her.  He seemed to be distracted somehow.  She put it down to the move, and hoped it would get better.  But it didn’t.  When Jim kissed her, he seemed a million miles away.  There was nothing at all specific, she couldn’t put her finger on it.  He just didn’t seem really into her.  Being the gentleman, he had broken it off with her now rather than later, taking all the blame himself and assuring her that they would still be friends.

 

Well, enough of that, she sighed.  You have to make the best of this place now you are here.  Maybe she would see if Pam wanted to go out after work tonight.  They could have a Girl’s Night Out.   Pam knew Jim pretty well, had known him for years.  Maybe with Pam’s help, maybe she could convince Jim to give her another chance.  

 

 

Pam looked up from filling the coffee machine with water to see Karen coming out of the Ladies Room.   She smiled brightly.  More brightly than she was feeling, but she hoped that wouldn’t show.

“Hi, Karen.  Good morning.”

 

“Oh, Hi, Pam.  I was just thinking about you.”

“Oh?”

“Well…I wondered if you wanted to go out after work tonight, you know, sort of a Girl’s Night Out?  You can pick the place, I don’t know the area that well yet.”

 

Pam forced her smile not to fade.  She was not feeling at all enthusiastic about spending time with Jim’s new girlfriend.  It wasn’t Karen herself, Pam liked Karen and really did want to get to know her better.  It would be nice to have a good girlfriend in the office.  But why did she have to also be Jim’s girlfriend?

She hoped she hadn’t paused too long.  Karen was looking at her expectantly.

 

“Oh, yeah.  Okay.  That would be good.” 

 

Another pause.

“I’m sorry,” Pam added quickly, “It’s just…I was trying to think if I had a class tonight or anything.   No…Yes…that would be really good.”

Way to hide your feelings, Pam,  Pam thought as she walked back to her desk.  Then she realized she had forgotten to bring her teapot back to her desk.  She sighed.  Get a grip.

Before she could collect herself, the door opened.  Someone else had arrived at work.  Pam looked up, and her heart did a little flutter when she saw it was Jim.  Stop it.  You have to stop doing that.  He works here.  He comes in that door every day.  He’s seeing Karen. 

 

Pam looked down at her desk in confusion.

 

 Jim closed the door and looked towards Pam’s desk.  As he always did.  She didn’t seem to notice him, so he took the few seconds he had to look at her.  There was a flush to her cheeks.  She’s so beautiful.  Does she have no idea what she does to me?  Just sitting there at her desk, and I can hardly breathe for seeing her.  

Jim wanted to stop at her desk and say something that would make her smile at him.  He loved her smile, especially when her whole face lit up.  She rarely gave him that smile anymore.  She said I misinterpreted things.  I guess she’s being more careful around me now, so I don’t get my hopes up again. 

He bit his lip and walked by her desk to his own without a word. 

Karen emerged from the kitchen with a cup of coffee as he was turning on his PC.  Jim saw her out of the corner of his eye.  One down, one to go.  How the Hell did I get myself into this situation? he thought for the thousandth time that day.

 

“Hey, Jim, do you think you could show me how you do your weekly call sheets here?  I know they are different than we did in Stamford.”  Karen approached Jim’s desk and stood a little farther away than usual.  She regarded him with what she hoped was a bland, professional expression. 

 I can do this,  she thought.  I can back off a little, and show him how well I can handle this thing. I’ll be the best I can be and maybe he will change his mind. 

“Yeah, sure, Karen.  They are a little different.”  Jim took Karen’s lead and adopted a completely professional manner.  Wow.  She’s not going to make a scene.  She’s not going to play games.  This really is one terrific woman.  I can’t believe I’m not in to her.

Pam watched this exchange out of the corner of her eye, while printing Michael’s weekly schedule for him.  Oh my God.  They are being all polite to each other.   Pam’s breath caught in her throat.  I promised myself I would tell him how I felt if they ever broke up.  Oh my God why did I have to promise myself that? Pam mentally shook herself.  Just because they are being polite does NOT mean they are not still going out. 

Her eyes strayed over to look directly at Jim and Karen.  Jim had his back to Pam, and she couldn’t help taking in his strong frame and noticing how his still damp hair curled up on the ends above his shirt collar.  She looked him completely up and down, and then licked her lips unconsciously. 

Karen glanced up just in time to catch Pam licking her lips.  Oh my God, she is totally drinking him in!  Not that I blame her or anything.  But Oh my God!   She looked away quickly, so as not to catch Pam’s eye.

 

 

Pam spent an extra few minutes blowing out the frizz from her hair.  She applied her makeup a little more carefully than usual.  As she picked up the hanger with her “Tuesday blouse” from the closet, her eyes fell on the red low-cut top that Kelly had convinced her to keep.  It had been hanging in her closet since she brought it home, never worn since she tried it on.

 

Pam paused for a minute and considered wearing it today.   She imagined herself laughing and flirting with Jim, leaning forward slightly in her lowcut top, allowing it to fall open as he towered over her over the reception desk.  She felt a flush of pleasure at that thought, even while she knew she would wear her normal Tuesday blouse.  Chicken.  Wishing she was a little more daring, Pam buttoned up her normal blue striped blouse. 

On the way out of the house, Pam realized she had forgotten her cardigan.  She ran into her bedroom and emerged with her new sweater her Mom made for her, instead of the usual gray cardigan she wore on Tuesdays.  I’m not a chicken, she thought as she pulled it on.

*****

Jim wiped the remains of shaving cream from his face and stared at himself in the bathroom mirror.  She knows by now.  He knew Karen and Pam had gone out for a Girl’s Night Out last night.  Part of him was glad, he knew Karen and Pam would like each other and he was glad for Pam to have a new friend.  God knows she needed one right now.  I wish I could be that friend for her, but if not me, then I’m glad she found someone else to talk to.  He assumed that Karen would have told Pam about them breaking up.  He felt a little uncomfortable at the idea of Pam hearing that from Karen.  Why? Why would that make me feel uncomfortable? 

Jim looked at himself in the bathroom mirror.  Snap out of it!  he told himself, giving himself a mental slap ala Moonstruck.   She didn’t want you. She turned you down.  Why would you care if she heard about you and Karen breaking up?

Jim suddenly felt his heart fall into his stomach.   What if Pam tells Karen?  What if she tells her about Casino Night and why I transferred in the first place?

In the bedroom, Jim picked out his favorite shirt.  French blue, a gift from his sister.  Pam once told him she liked it.  If he was going to look like a complete fool in the eyes of these two women, at least he was going to do it in a nice shirt.

 

*****

Sitting in traffic, Karen checked her makeup, making extra sure the bags under her eyes were not easily apparent.  She had not slept well last night.

Things did not go as expected last night.  She and Pam had got off to a great start, really connected and had fun.  Then somehow talk had turned to Jim. Karen had told Pam what had happened with her and Jim.  She even told Pam how much she liked Jim and wished things had worked out.  She didn’t know why Jim had broken up with her.  Pam had got all quiet and wouldn’t look her in the eye.

 

This was when Karen had started thinking that Pam DID know something about Jim’s past.  She assumed that Jim had recently broken up with a long-time steady girlfriend, here in Scranton.  Maybe he even transferred to get away from her.  He wasn’t over her and that was why he had broken up with Karen.  Pam got even more quiet when Karen raised this possibility.  She didn’t deny that Karen was wrong, but she didn’t fill in any details either.  Eventually Pam had just said that she would have to ask Jim directly if she wanted to know what he was thinking.  Pam changed the subject and Karen reluctantly let it go.  They both suddenly resorted to a bright friendliness that seemed forced.  Somehow talking about Jim had driven an uncomfortable wedge between them.  Karen was perplexed.

Now, driving in to work, Karen was determined to find out what exactly had happened with Jim right before he moved to Stamford.  Something must have happened.  Or was she just kidding herself?  Maybe he just didn’t like her that much.  Maybe it was as simple as that.  Checking traffic in the rear view mirror, Karen sighed and wondered what to do.

Phyllis.  Of course, thought Karen.  I can ask Phyllis.  I’ll bet she will know.  Karen pulled in to the parking area full of determination.

 

 

“Hey Jim.”  Pam approached Jim and leaned against his desk. 

Jim looked up nervously.  He was not too good at being around Pam this close anymore.  Ever since he had kissed her – actually kissed her! – he found his senses easily intoxicated by her.  He had been avoiding getting this close to her as much as he could.  Now here she was, leaning against his desk.  He could smell her fresh, clean scent.  He let down his defenses just enough to breathe her in, couldn’t help himself.  It was enough to take him right back to when he had kissed her.  He realized she was leaning against his desk in the exact spot she had been during that kiss.  He could reach out right now, right here, and touch her, put his hand over hers on the desk, or on her hip, around her waist, in her hair----

“You okay?” 

 

Jim slammed back to earth and tried to look nonchalant. 

“Yeah, fine, Beesley, and you?”

“Oh yeah.  I’m good.  I was actually, uhm….”

Pam took a deep breath, tried to make it sound casual.  She wanted to invite him out for coffee, she figured that was as non-threatening as it got, not a real date or anything.  Just maybe a start.  Seeing as he wasn’t seeing Karen anymore…

 

“I was wondering if you…uhm….could help me move some furniture at my apartment some time after work?”

 

 Oh my God.  What did I just say???  Do I even have any furniture that needs to be moved?? 

Jim felt like he was going to keel over and die right there.  Alone with Pam in her new apartment?  He couldn’t think of anything he wanted more, and he couldn’t think of anything worse.  Every nerve ending in his body stood up.  He slid a file folder onto his lap casually.  Say No, man, don’t do it.  You can NOT handle that.  Say No. 

Jim looked into Pam’s eyes.  He could refuse her nothing.

”Yeah, sure, absolutely.  No problem.”

 

Pam smiled in relief, terrified at what she had asked, and overwhelmed that he had said yes.  Great, now what do you do? 

 

She took a deep breath and steadied herself on the inside.  In her mind she saw Jim in her apartment taking off his suit jacket and tie and rolling up his sleeves.  On the rare occasion she had had to see them, she had marveled at how strong and masculine his forearms were.   The thought gave her a pulse in her groin and a flutter to her breath.   She looked at him tentatively.

 

His eyes bore in to hers and for a second she thought he must be feeling the same thing!

 

“So, when’s good for you?” Jim shrugged his shoulders at her, breaking the moment with more nonchalance.  I don’t know if I can keep this up, he thought.

Oh God, now, now is good for me! screamed Pam on the inside. 

 

“Maybe tonight?”  Pam tried her best to match Jim’s nonchalance.  “We could get some coffee first, at Starbucks on Water Street?  It’s right on the way.”

 

“All right.  Cool.”  Jim replied evenly, trying not to show how his heart was racing.  How are you going to get through this?  You can’t even TALK to her about it without loosing it.  How are you going to go OUT with her?   

Jim turned to his computer screen and pretended to be filling out a sales order while he got his breathing under control and the rest of him cooled down.   Go OUT with her?  Is that what we are doing?  Did she just ask me OUT? 

Jim leapt out of his chair and walked quickly to the men’s room.  He stood inside the door for a minute, willing his heart to beat normally, and then crossed to the sink where he splashed cold water on his face.  

Pam returned to her desk and the phone rang almost immediately.  “Hi, this is…uh..Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam.”  Get a grip woman.  It’s a coffee.  He’ll move the couch.  That’s it.  He would have said something by now if he still wanted to be ….more than friends.  Right? 

 

 

Pam pulled in to the Starbuck’s parking area, knowing that Jim was in the car right behind her.  Things had been surprisingly easy so far.  She had adopted an air of bright friendliness, and he seemed to do the same.  Back to the old days of being just friends. 

What’s the point of that? thought Pam, as she got out of the car and looked for Jim.   If I don’t WANT to be just friends, how is it helpful for me to act like just friends?  Pam had no answer for herself.  I’ve only ever had one boyfriend in my whole life, and he asked me out when I was 16.  I don’t know how to do this. 

Jim came up from his car and they walked together towards the door of Starbuck’s.  Walking next to Pam, their arms swinging side by side, Jim thought about how much he wanted to reach out and hold Pam’s hand.   You can’t even start thinking like that, man.  Just don’t go there.  Friends.  She just wants to be friends.

Jim opened the door and held it open for Pam with a smile and a sweep of his hand.  Pam grinned at him and as she walked past, she brushed her arm against his, ever so slightly.  Pam felt a frission like electric current go up her arm.  Jim swallowed hard and tried to hide the pained expression her brushing up against him had caused.

Just as they were sitting down with their drinks, the door opened and in walked Kelly, Ryan, Toby and Kevin. 

“Pam!  Jim!” Kelly greeted them loudly. 

“Wow.  Did NOT expect to see you four here…” said Jim, looking questioningly at the four of them.

“Oh, Jim, Pam, you HAVE to come with us!   Don’t they HAVE to come with us, Ryan?  Toby goes all the time to this one club, Starr Hill, and Kevin was saying he knows one of the guys in the band playing tonight, and Ryan and I just LOVE to go dancing, don’t we, Ryan?”  Without waiting for an answer, “so we all decided to go!  You guys have GOT to come!”

 

 Pam quickly showered and changed.  She grabbed the red top before she had time to change her mind and put it on.  What to wear with it?  Pam felt slightly disgusted with herself.  She had work clothes, and she had jeans and sweats.  Why don’t I have any nice going-out clothes? 

Roy never took me out, what would I need them for? She answered herself.   

 

Then she saw the black velvet pants.  She had once been invited to a fancy New Year’s Eve party and had bought these velvet pants for the occasion.  They were rich and clung to her in exactly the right places.  They looked great with the new red top.  Pam surveyed herself in the full-length mirror in her bedroom.   She cast an appraising eye over herself.  Suddenly she turned, pulled off the top and went to her top drawer.

Fishing through the drawer, she found what she was looking for in the back.  She pulled out an almost new, rarely worn black lace push-up bra.  Do I dare?  Let me at least see what it looks like.  Pam carefully put on the bra, leaning far forward and positioning her breasts carefully to make the most of the bra’s benefits.  She stood up and turned towards the mirror.

 

Wow.  Even I think that looks pretty good! 

 

There was a knock at the door.  Holy crow, Jim’s early! Pam threw her sweatshirt on over the bra and went to answer the door.

“Pammy.”

 

Pam’s face registered complete shock as she saw Roy standing in her doorway. 

 

Roy swayed slightly and said again, “Pammy.”

“Roy, come in, you’re drunk.”  Pam ushered Roy inside and closed the door.

 

“What are you doing here?  What do you want?”

 

*****

Jim showered and shaved, still unsure whether to be excited about tonight.  I’m going out dancing with Pam!   To Hell with being just friends.  I’m going out dancing with Pam and I’m going to enjoy every blessed minute of that!

 

He dressed carefully, choosing black jeans and a yellow J. Crew sweater over a white polo shirt.  He hesitated only a moment before he pulled on his black leather jacket.  He never wore that jacket to work.  He was going to wear it now though.

 

He grabbed his keys and headed out the door.

“JIM!  Over here!”  Kelly stood and waved and jumped up and down to get his attention.  Jim made his way stone-faced over to the table and nodded to Toby, Kevin and Ryan.

“Where’s Pam?” asked Kelly.

She’s with Roy, that’s where,  thought Jim grimly.   She’s with her ex-fiance!  How could I be SO stupid! 

“Jim! Where’s Pam?”  Kelly couldn’t let it rest.  She was going to make him say it, make him explain it to them all.

 

“Something came up.  She’s fine, she just couldn’t come, that’s all.”  It was the best he could do.

 

Jim sat heavily and poured himself a beer from the pitcher on the table.   He didn’t notice how Toby’s face fell when he said Pam wasn’t coming.

 

He’d even allowed himself to get a little bit excited at the prospect of coming out dancing with Pam.  After all he had been through, all he had vowed never to put himself through again, he had done it as soon as the situation allowed.  Only to be crushed once again.

 

Pam had opened the door, and even though she tried to use the door to shield Roy from Jim, it was a small apartment and Jim had had no problem seeing Roy, with his back to the door, watching TV. 

 

“I’m REALLY sorry, Jim.  I can’t come tonight, not right now.”

 

“What…is everything okay?” he’d asked.  Stupid, of course it was okay.  She probably regrets breaking up with him, she’s probably taking him back right now, right this minute.

 

Jim gulped down his beer quickly and immediately poured himself another, draining the pitcher.

The second set of music was just starting.  Kelly was dancing with Ryan.  Jim was sitting with Kevin and Toby.  I’m at the loser’s table.  What am I even doing here?   He stared down into his beer, thinking that he would just finish this one up and get the Hell out of here.  This evening was not even remotely what he’d hoped for.

He heard Kevin stop talking mid-sentence.  “Holy….” was all he said.

 

“Wow,” said Toby.  Jim finally looked up to see what they were talking about.

Pam.  But not Pam.  It was Pam all right, but she was more beautiful than in even his wildest dreams.    She wore her hair down, in loose curls around her face.   She wore a red low-cut top that accentuated her curves and displayed a soft roundness that made Jim’s mouth go dry.  He didn’t dare look directly, relying on his peripheral vision for that part of her body.  A quick sweeping glance revealed a pair of soft black pants that clung perfectly to her body, followed by a pair of red heels.  She wore red nail polish, and this tiny detail was what put Jim over the edge.  He thought he would never be able to move again.

He just stared at her silently for a moment.  She stared back at him, a slightly amused expression on her face.  She knew she looked good, really really good.  But she was enjoying the proof of that in their reactions to her appearance anyway.  

Kevin found his voice first.  “Pam, you look really HOT.”  He had no problem staring directly down her top.

 

Toby licked his lips.  “Pam, Kevin’s right, you look really…” he couldn’t bring himself to say it.  “pretty…” he trailed off, feeling lame.

 

All Jim could do was pull out a chair for her and gesture for her to sit.  He couldn’t form words, not yet, and he couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

 

 I’m lost.  I’m so fucking lost.  

Finally he was able to speak.  “What are you doing here?”

“What, aren’t you glad to see me?”  Pam teased.  She had got exactly the reaction she was hoping for.  But what happens now?  

“Uh, I would think that was obvious….Pam.”  Jim smiled and looked deeply into Pam’s eyes. 

 

What are you doing, you are SO lost, SO pathetic, don’t do this. 

 

I don’t care anymore.  I don’t care if the whole world knows.  I don’t even care if she doesn’t love me back.  I just love this woman. I can’t do anything but love her.

 

Jim opened his mouth to say something. 

“Oh my God!  Pam!  You came!  YOU.  LOOK.   AH.     MAZE.    ING.” 

 

Kelly ran up to Pam, Ryan in tow. 

“Come on, you guys HAVE to dance!  Come on Pam!  Who’s going to dance with Pam?  Jim?”

 

“I will,”  Toby leapt to his feet and took Pam’s hand and led her to the dance floor.  

 

Sure, now he suddenly shows some speed, thought Jim, disappointed.

 

Pam’s head was spinning.  One minute Jim was looking like he was about to say something really important, and then next thing she knows she’s dancing with….Toby of all people. 

Two dances later, Pam looks over towards Jim.  He’s still sitting where she left him, watching her with an odd expression on his face.  When he sees her watching him, he grins and raises a beer in salute.  It’s a good thing she couldn’t read my thoughts just then.  She’d have smacked me for sure for what I was thinking. 

Pam gestures to Jim, and it is clear that she is saying “rescue me.”  Only too glad to, Jim comes over and asks Toby gallantly if he may cut in.  Toby looks crestfallen but backs off immediately and Jim steps in to dance with Pam.

 

Before he can even get his bearings the music changes.  The band begins to play a cover of Ache for You by Ben Lee.  Nice and slow.  Jim looks at Pam uncertainly, heart beating faster by the second.  Pam flushes as she looks back at Jim, and smiles tentatively.  That’s all he needs to slide his arms around her back and pull her in close. 

 

Jim’s heart is beating fast and he is almost completely overwhelmed by the closeness of her, the scent of her body, the softness of her curves, the lightness of the soft curls of her hair.   A moment later Pam, listening to the words of this song, melts into his embrace and puts her head on his chest.  He thinks he has never been happier in his life.

and it's alright if you're undecided or,
if you're scared that you might like it or
if it's true, I ache for you 

Jim presses her a tiny bit closer on the last line, willing her to hear him through the music. Pam is almost afraid to move, afraid to break this spell, afraid to think that maybe, maybe, it could finally be happening.   She could finally be hooking up with Jim!

She slides her hands up his arms, feeling his muscles ripple under his clothes, and brings them to rest around his neck.  She allows her hands to gently comb and rake through the hair on the nape of his neck, and she nestles even deeper into his body. 

A sort of a strangled sigh escapes Jim’s lips.  “Pa-am,” he manages to choke out. 

“Mmmm?” she mumbles quietly.  He feels her response vibrating through his chest and feels her warm breath all the way through his sweater.  She is pressing her whole body against him, her warmth bringing fire down the length of his body. 

“Pam.  Please tell me.”  Jim says desperately in Pam’s ear.

 

Pam pulls her head off Jim’s chest and looks directly at him, deeply into his eyes.  Her pupils are dilated, making her eyes look almost black.

 

“Do you really want to be just friends?”  Jim bares his soul and waits frozen for her answer.

 there's no rhyme and there's no reason
you're the secret in the back of my skull
there's no logic, so please believe me
our love's confusing, but it never gets dull  

“No,” Pam whispers, smiling shyly into the safety of Jim’s eyes.  “No, I definitely don’t want to be friends.” 

 

 

Jim followed her home from the club later that night, to make sure she gets home safely.  He still doesn’t know what happened, why Roy was at her apartment when he arrived to pick her up earlier, and what exactly Pam wants. 

 

After she completely took his breath away by saying she definitely did NOT want to be friends, they had kissed and stared at each other for the rest of the song.  When a set of faster songs came on right away, Jim had hesitated, disappointed.  Part of him was afraid this would break the spell and return them to their previous status as friends.

 

He wasn’t really sure even now.  They had danced and laughed and when they finally stopped to rest, he had gotten them both drinks and Pam had beamed at him and flirted with him at the table.  

 That’s gotta be a good sign, right?  I can’t push her, I just wish I KNEW.   

So here he was following her home in his car, to make sure she got home safely.  As they pulled into her new apartment building’s parking lot, Jim decided to park and at least walk her to her door.    He parked quickly and jumped out of his car just in time to open her door for her. 

 

Pam was surprised for a minute.  No one had ever jumped to open a car door for her before.  I shouldn’t be surprised, she thought, it’s Jim.

 

Jim was wondering if he should kiss her goodnight, if he would be invited inside, if he should fall back on the Just Friends routine they were both so familiar with.  As he was wondering how to approach this situation, walking next to Pam up to her door, Pam reached over and took his hand. 

 

At first he almost gasped as a frisson of energy shot through his arm and spread over his body.  Wow.  She can do that to me, just taking my HAND.  I am so lost. 

 

“This is me.” Pam said at her door, turning to look up at Jim.  She didn’t let go of Jim’s hand or move to get her keys out.  Clearly the ball was in his court.

 

That was all the encouragement he needed.  Jim reached up to sweep the stray hair out of Pam’s face, leaving his hand on the side of her face, leaning closer and staring into her eyes. 

 

Overwhelmed, Pam closed her eyes and felt herself melting into his touch.  The warmth of his hand on her jaw and cheek spread down to her neck. 

 

Jim gently pulled her closer, and she felt his hot breath as he hovered over her, his face inches from hers.  He placed a gentle kiss on one of Pam’s eyelids.   Pam’s breath sucked in a little involuntarily in surprise.   He kissed her other eyelid, hand still ever so gently on her face.  He paused a second, hot breath on her face, and then finally kissed her mouth.

 

Pam moaned without really realizing it, trembling, as she dropped her purse on the ground and put her arms up around Jim’s neck.

 

Pam opened her mouth and kissed Jim’s lower lip, upper lip, then ran her tongue over the inside of his lower lip, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss, breath coming in short trembling bursts.  Jim immediately responded, putting one hand around the small of her back and pulling her closer, running the other hand up from the nape of her neck into her hair.          

After a few breathless minutes, Pam pulled back and Jim immediately stopped and looked into Pam’s eyes.  Waiting. 

 

It was clear to Pam that he still loved her.  Was waiting for her to speak. 

 

She took a deeper shaky breath.  There’s so much to say.  I don’t know where to start.

 

Pam’s eyes fell to the floor as she tried to regain her composure.  Jim stepped back to give her space. 

 

She looked back up at Jim.  Waiting there.  She wasn’t sure if his expression was wary, or expectant.  Like the Mona Lisa, she thought.  There’s lots of emotions in one face. 

 

“Uhmm,” she began.  “I don’t suppose you’d be free for dinner tomorrow night?  Here, I mean?”

 

“Oh,” answered Jim. “Sure.  That sounds great.”

 

He didn’t even try to understand how he could feel disappointed and elated at the same time.

 

“Its just, there’s a lot to say, you know?” Pam looked at the ground, suddenly self-conscious.

 

“Yeah,” said Jim, his voice low and husky.  So sexy.      

 

“I think, if we have dinner, here, you know, maybe we could figure things out?”  She looked so vulnerable and hopeful that Jim’s disappointment disappeared.

 

He smiled gently.  “Yeah.  Great idea.  Should I bring some wine?”

 

Pam smiled in relief.  On to easier topics.  “Sure.  What do you want for dinner?”

 

Jim grinned mischieviously.  “You are letting me decide?  Better watch out Beesley, I can be quite the gourmet, given the opportunity.”

 

Pam grinned back.  “Really??  Maybe YOU should be the one making dinner then?”

 

“I can certainly come early to help.”

 

“Okay.  Bring red wine, and be here by 5, Halpert.”  Pam was feeling almost giddy in relief.  It seemed they could take their relationship a step further without loosing the banter she loved so much.  “Bring your apron.”

 

“Apron?”  Jim feigned a panicked look. 

 

Pam slipped her key into the lock and opened the door, looking back and giving Jim a combination between a warm smile and a challenging grin.  She looked him slowly and obviously up and down, meeting is eyes as she licked her lips.  “We’ll see how good you are tomorrow…in the kitchen.”

 

With a quick flash of a grin, Pam closed her door, leaving Jim with his jaw dropped, speechless.  

 

Saturday 5:00 pm

 

“It’s open!”  Pam shouted at the door.  Jim opened the door, stepping inside and looking around.

 

“Hello?” 

 

“I’m in here.”  Pam emerged from the kitchen wiping her hands on her apron.  She was wearing sweat pants and a sweatshirt, fuzzy slippers, and a big apron.  Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail high on the back of her head.  Jim thought she looked adorable.

 

She smiled a little shyly at Jim, put her hand on his arm and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.  She turned away immediately and headed back to the kitchen.  “I hope you brought that apron!  We’re in here,” she called as she rounded the corner.

 

Jim watched her go and quickly followed after her.  He took a breath before turning into the kitchen.  He needed it.  He had stopped breathing from the moment she touched his arm until she disappeared from view.  He could feel her kiss on his cheek, leaving a pleasant burning sensation behind. 

 

Soon he was busy chopping vegetables for a salad, wearing a silly artist’s apron over his khaki pants and green sweater.  She had insisted he put it on when he admitted he had come without the ordered apron.

 

Anything.  I’ll do anything you want.  

 

It broke the ice though, silly as it looked on him, and soon they were happily preparing dinner together, Pam in charge and Jim jumping to her every wish.

 

“I’ll be right back, if you want to lay the table,” Pam said as she suddenly disappeared down her hall.

 

Jim was lighting the candle on the table when Pam reappeared.  Once again Jim was frozen in place, staring.  Pam was wearing a pair of black jeans he had never seen before, and a simple white blouse tucked in under a wide belt.   The blouse exposed just enough neck and throat.  She had exchanged her fuzzy slippers for some ballet flats, and had let her hair down.   Her lips were freshly glossed.

 

Jim felt his finger tips burning on the match.  He put it out quickly and straightened up, licking his fingers and lips.  “Wow,” was all he said.   Pam smiled up at him.

 

“I can definitely get used to Fancy New Beesley.”

 

Pam laughed and pushed his arm, lingering a little after the push.  His arm was warm and strong, she noticed with a flutter low down in her belly.

 

“Let’s eat.”

 

Things remained light and easy throughout the meal, and even while they washed up together.  At first Pam was taken aback when Jim jumped up to clear the plates from the table after they finished.

 

He’s Jim.  She told herself, smiling to herself.  Of course he helps clear the table. 

 

“What?” Jim asked, noticing her expression, rinsing dishes and stacking the dishwasher.

 

“Oh.  Nothing.”  Pam said, flustered.  She stopped herself.  No more retreating. 

 

“You’re…..you’re really great….that’s all,” Pam admitted shyly.

 

Jim gave her a broad smile.  “I don’t know what I did to deserve that.  But I’ll take it!”

 

Pam became more and more quiet as they finished in the kitchen. 

 

“Jim, can you pour some more wine and bring the glasses to the living room for me?  I’ll be right out.”

 

Pam took the moment in the kitchen to collect herself.  Honest.  You are going to be honest and open.  It’s Jim.  It’s just your friend Jim.  Oh my God, it’s JIM.    

 

Pam’s heart started pounding in nervous anticipation.   

 

She took a deep breath, smoothed out her blouse and headed to the Living Room.

 

Jim was standing by the window, looking outside, hands in his pockets.  Waiting for Pam.  Hold it together.  You’ve been waiting for Pam for years.  She has ten minutes to start talking, or else I’m gonna have to start.

 

“There.  All done,” Pam said cheerfully as she entered the room.  She stopped nervously in the middle of the room.  Jim turned.  They both stood frozen for a beat, staring at each other.  Then Jim closed the space between them in one stride and enveloped her easily in his arms and gave her a long deep kiss.  Not unlike the Casino Night approach, it was very fluid and easy, but the kiss itself was very different.  This kiss was more confident and passionate than on Casino Night.  Less desperate, more promising somehow.  Pam gasped against him, sucking in his warm breath as she did so, melting physically and emotionally in Jim’s arms. 

 

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when she finally pulled back, flushed and breathing hard.  She lowered her hands from his neck down the front of his broad strong chest.  She met Jim’s eyes and saw he was similarly affected, with big pupils and ragged breathing. 

 

Something in his eyes overwhelmed her.  She melted forward into Jim’s chest, nuzzling her face into the crook of his arm.  His arms were instantly around her, warm and strong.  Pulling her closer. Safe. 

 

Pam felt tears begin to sting her eyes.

 

She whispered something into his shoulder.  “Hmmm?” Jim asked, pulling back very slightly to let her know he hadn’t heard.

 

“I said….I really….I really want this to work,” Pam said in a small tearful voice.

 

Jim smiled and pulled her close again.  “Me too, Pam” he said softly.  She heard his deep voice rumbling through the sweater and felt the vibration of his chest as he spoke.   She felt completely safe and protected there. 

 

Pam closed her eyes and cried quietly for a minute, snuggling as close to his body as she could get, hugging him tightly.

 

“Hey…let’s sit down?”  Jim guided her to the couch, where she immediately curled up with her head on Jim’s chest and her arm around him, still holding on tight.  Jim held her close as she continued to cry quietly.   

 

Jim began to gently stroke her hair, barely touching her. His other hand sought hers and laced fingers with her.  The warmth of his hands spread through her body, comforting her.   Slowly her breathing returned to normal, although her heart was still beating faster than normal. 

 

Pam sat up, pulled a tissue out of her jeans pocket and wiped her eyes and nose.

 

Jim raised his eyebrow at her, smiling gently.

 

“What?  So I knew I would probably cry at some point tonight.”  Pam admitted with a sheepish smile.  Then she said, seriously,  “I’m sorry I did that.  Am doing that,” she corrected.

 

“What?  Why?  You were crying over me, right?  That’s like, my dream come true, Pam.  Cry all you want.”

 

Pam looked up to see Jim smiling teasingly at her and broke out in a big smile herself.  “Oh, you SUCK, Halpert!”

 

The next thing Jim knew, he was being pelted with couch pillows.  He immediately took the offensive himself, “Oh no, you don’t, Beesley!”

 

Pam scooted off the couch on the floor, arms raised, laughing.  Jim didn’t try TOO hard to stay on the couch, launching himself with an ARRGGGGG at her, careful to land over and around her, not ON her.  Pam shrieked and grabbed him around the waist. 

 

As soon as she grabbed hold of Jim’s waist, Pam was aware of the maleness of him, the strength and power of him.  She was caught between feeling giddy with happiness and extremely turned on.  Jim looked at her and saw this in her eyes.  He narrowed his eyes and gave her his best playful look. 

 

Pam burst into laughter and lifted her head into Jim’s chest.

 

“What?” Jim exclaimed in fake indignation. 

 

“You look, ….you look like my brother’s black Lab, when he’s hoping you’ll throw his stick!”

 

Jim lowered himself down and nuzzled Pam’s neck.  He said in a low voice, “Who says I wasn’t hoping you would throw my stick?” 

 

“Oh!  You’re terrible!”  Pam threw Jim off and sat up laughing, her hair thoroughly messed up by the rough-housing, face flushed, chest heaving.  A button on her blouse had come undone, giving Jim a glimpse of lace and a dry mouth.

 

Jim sat back against the couch and looked at Pam, smiling broadly at the success of his joke.  He was once again struck speechless at the sight of her.  I wish I could tell her what I am thinking right now.

 I am going to ‘throw his stick’, Pam thought.  Someday, but not now.  It’s too soon.   

Which brought Pam to the opening in the conversation she was looking for.  She took a deep breath and just started.

 

“Jim.  Speaking of…that…uhm…”

 

“Pam, it was a joke,” Jim was quick to say, hoping he hadn’t crossed any lines with her.

 

“No, it’s okay, I know, I mean…”  She took a deep breath.  “Just let me say something okay?”

 

Jim nodded silently.  Here it comes.  This is my fate, one way or another.   He tried not to let his stomach clench nervously, made himself take a breath.  He really had NO idea what she was going to say.  But he knew this whole night was leading up to this.

 

Pam looked at the ground, still sitting on the carpet in front of the couch.  “I’ve never been with anyone else.  I mean, I’ve never dated anyone else, never even kissed anyone else…I mean until we….” Pam petered out and took another breath, picking at the fibers in the carpet.  “I don’t know how to explain this.  I want this to work,” she looked directly Jim’s eyes as she said that, then down again.  It was not lost on Jim that she hadn’t said HIS name.   “But I’ve never really dated as an adult, never had any of this,” she gestured around the room, “kind of thing before.  So I just want you to know that.  You’ll have to maybe give me some leeway…?”  Pam ended her speech with a slight question, and looked up at him hopefully.

 

I am so in love with this woman.   Jim leaned forward and brushed a tendril of hair from Pam’s face.  He hitched himself next to her and kissed her forehead gently.  “You can have all the leeway you want, Pam.”

 

His fingers stroked her hair.  Pam closed her eyes and leaned into his touch.

 

“Okay.”

 

Pam was silent for a minute.  Then she looked up at Jim. 

 

“It’s just….I really want this to work.   It’s all happening so fast.  I mean, it took a long time to happen, I know, but now it IS happening….I…I just need us to go slow.  You know?  I don’t WANT us to, I just think I need that.”

 

Jim murmured an “uh-huh” in a deep low voice as he kissed Pam’s ear, down her neck to her throat and back up to her lips. 

 

“So.  First base only tonight, then?”  Jim said, teasing.

 

Pam snorted in her nose.  “You goof.  Are you really okay with that?”

 

“Sure,”  replied Jim, nuzzling her neck.  “I can just kiss you all night.”

 

“Ummmmmmmmmm”, moaned Pam.  “That sounds sooooo nice.”

 

An hour later, back on the couch, Pam tried unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn.  She looked at the clock on the side table.  11:30. 

 

“I should go,” said Jim reluctantly, sitting back up straight. 

 

“You could stay?” Pam suggested quietly, trying not to sound too pathetic. 

 

Jim froze for a second, looked down at Pam, in to her eyes. 

 

“Uh, I don’t want to break the rules,” he said, staying more serious than Pam would have expected.    

    

“I know,” Pam replied.  “Me neither.  But, I don’t want you to leave…”

 

Jim said nothing, leaving Pam time to think and form her thoughts.  She loved that he knew to do that.  Pam melted into Jim’s chest and clung to his sweater.

 

“Can you just stay….like this?”  Pam asked.

 

Jim looked deeply into Pam’s eyes.  “I’ll do whatever you want, Pam.”

 

 

 Pam came slowly to consciousness with a warm breath on her back.  Jim’s here!  Oh my God, Jim’s here! 

She rolled over slowly to face him, careful not to mess up the covers on Jim.  There he was, sleeping in her bed, next to her.  She watched him sleep in the dark for a minute, marveling at his mere presence.  I really have to pee.  I hope I don’t wake him up.

 

Pam rolled back over and carefully crept out of the bed.  When she got back, she tried to slide quietly back in.  She snuggled up with her back to Jim, slowly moving herself back until their bodies touched.    Then she moved back just a touch more, pressing herself up to him.  Jim slowly put an arm around her, his hand crossing the fabric on her belly and moving up slowly to come to rest along her ribs.  His fingers were tucked up under her breast, slightly under her body, his thumb spreading back to her sternum.   Pam noticed his hand fit perfectly there and felt deliciously warm.  He pulled her even closer, murmuring and taking a deep breath, somewhere between awake and asleep.  Pam smiled and closed her eyes, putting her hand over Jim’s, and felt a great peace come over her.  She slept.

 

Pam rolled over and opened her eyes.  It was morning, judging by the light that filled the room.

 

“Mmmppphh,” Jim moved her hair out of his face and opened his eyes.  He smiled a long, slow, lazy smile at her.  “Good morning” he said, his voice low and husky at this time of the morning.  

 

Pam smiled at him and rested her head on his shoulder, her arm across his body.  She ran her hand lightly up and down his arm.  “Mmmpphhh.  Good morning.”

 

“Uhh, can you excuse me a minute?” Jim extricated himself from the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. 

 

When he came out a few minutes later, the bed was empty.  He rubbed the back of his neck and pulled on his pants, trying not to be disappointed.  He wandered into the hallway.  He found Pam in the kitchen, in flannel pj’s, putting on a kettle for coffee. 

 

“Hey” Jim greeted her softly.

 

Pam turned around.  “I was…just making coffee for you.   I thought we should…get the day going.”

 

“Yeah, great.”  Jim wasn’t sure what else to say. 

 

“Do you have any plans for today?”  Pam asked while she got mugs down from the cabinet.

 

“Uh…I’m supposed to play basketball around 2:00.  I don’t….have to go?”

 

Pam smiled, relieved in spite of herself.  “No, that’s good, actually.  I have my class at 3:00.  Do you want to have your coffee, go home to get showered and stuff, and meet me for a quick lunch first?” 

 

“Sure,” Jim replied.  He hated feeling uneasy like this, unsure. 

 

They both sat down with their mugs, coffee for Jim, tea for Pam. 

 

“You know I –“

“Hey, I—“

 

They both stopped and smiled sheepishly at each other.

 

“You go first,” Jim offered.

 

“I was just going to say I don’t know why I am feeling all nervous around you this morning.”

 

“Yeah.  I know.  Me too.”

 

“This is so weird, like, you’re totally my best friend, and I am really REALLY happy this is finally happening, you know, but I just…I just don’t know how to do this.  How to be in a beginning of a relationship, as an adult, you know?  I feel REALLY stupid asking you to stay just to hold me last night.  Like I’m in high school or something.”

 

“Hey,” Jim reached across the table and put his hand over Pam’s hand.  “Don’t feel stupid.  Don’t ever feel stupid around me.  I’m so not here just for sex.  Okay?”  Jim smiled at Pam, “I mean, don’t get me wrong, that’s gonna be great, I just know it.”  He smiled his big Jim smile at her and Pam looked down, blushing.  “But seriously, you know that’s not why I’m here, right?  There is NO pressure on you.  At all.”

 

Pam looked in Jim’s eyes and he held her gaze.  She looked down at the table and said quietly, “Okay.  Thanks.”

 

Sunday – Cugino’s

 

Jim saw Pam waiting at a booth in the corner.  Arriving at her side, Jim slid in to the booth on the same side as Pam, sliding in so far his legs snugged up to hers.  He put his arm around her for a great big hug and kiss, keeping his arm around her when he was settled in.  “Well, hello!” Pam laughed, “Someone’s all bright and chipper suddenly!”

 

“That’s because I have an idea.”  Jim had a pleased look on his face.

 

“Spill, Halpert!”

 

“Well.  I know you want to take things slow, and if you don’t want to, that’s totally okay, but…my Mom’s friend has this beach house they rent out on the Outer Banks in North Carolina.   I asked her and this time of year it is not usually rented out, so I thought, if you wanted to, maybe we could go, soon?  What do you think?”

 

Pam tried to hide her stricken face.  Jim caught it immediately.  “Pam, it’s a 2 bedroom house, I didn’t mean….I agreed we would take it slow and I mean that.  I’m not….Look, I just thought, the reason we are in this weird spot right now is that we already know each other really well, and we already know we have feelings for each other.  I think we need to spend time together outside of work to get used to being together, you know?”

 

Pam fiddled with her napkin in her lap.  “Well.  My class meets again next Sunday, 3:00 to 4:30.  We could leave around 5?”  Pam beamed up into Jim’s eyes.

 

Jim threw his head back and laughed.  She’s so adorable.   

 

 

Somehow they had gotten through that next week of work.  Jim hadn’t stayed over again, but they did have dinner and hang out a little each night, “making out like teenagers” as Pam liked to put it.    

 

Jim had decided that for his own sanity he was going to wait patiently for Pam to move things along.  Trying to read her and decide if she was ready for more was making him crazy.  He had his hopes for this week, of course.  But he was determined not to push her at all. 

 

Pam threw her bags into the back of Jim’s car, stowed her art portfolio and supplies a little more carefully, and jumped in to the seat next to Jim with a huge orange knit bag.  She smiled happily at Jim. 

 

“What on earth do you have there?” Jim asked, gesturing towards the enormous bag.

 

“Road trip supplies, of course!”  Pam rummaged through her bag.  “I have music, maps, snacks, drinks, tissues, cell phone, extra batteries, MP3 player, car charger, oh, and a “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” Book on Tape!  Dwight lent it to me.  Sun chip?”

  

Several hours later, after a period of companionable silence, Pam broke the silence and said quietly, “Jim?”

 

“Hmm?” Jim answered, eyes leaving the road only briefly to catch hers.

 

Pam was silent a minute, looking out the window.

 

“I want to make love to you this week.”

 

Jim’s heart leaped into his throat in surprise. “What?”

 

“I do.  I wanted you to know that.  I didn’t want you to be worrying about it or…anything.”

 

“Ok-aa-ay.”  Jim could think of nothing else to say.  His mouth was suddenly dry.  He took a swig from his water bottle (kindly supplied by the big orange knit bag) and waited for her to say more.  He knew she would say more.  Eventually.

 

“I don’t mean tonight, or anything…I mean, it’s not like I have a plan, WEDNESDAY AT 7 PM, SEDUCE JIM.  I don’t really know when, but I…what?”

 

Jim couldn’t help himself, he was laughing out loud, throwing glances Pam’s way as he mostly kept his eyes on the road.  Pam found it was easy to talk to him this way, sitting side by side with limited eye contact. 

 

“Okay, you just let me know, okay?”  Jim was still laughing.  “You let me know when you are ready and then..if I think I’m ready,…well…”

 

“Jim Halpert!  What, you expect me to just TELL you?”

 

“Well, no, you could just attack me, catch me at a vulnerable moment, you know, after a really romantic movie or something.”

 

Pam was silent.  She feigned being indignant but Jim knew she was really being serious.  Then she said quietly, “I don’t want to take the lead.  I mean, not the first time.”

 

Jim rubbed his hand over his face as if he was exasperated.  He was loving this conversation.  “Okay.  You want to take it slow.  You don’t want to tell me when you are ready, and you don’t want to take the lead.  I can think of only one other option.”

 

Pam waited.  Jim waited, grinning.

 

“Well?  What?”

 

“Code words!” Jim said triumphantly.

 

Pam snorted while taking a drink out of her water bottle, almost spilling it down her front.   “Code words?  What are you, eleven?”

 

“Pam, really.  I’m not eleven now, but I used to be.  I know all about how code words work.  Trust me.”

 

Pam played along, happy with the lightheartedness of the conversation she thought would be serious.

 

“What we need to do, is decide on code words, one for you and one for me.  They have to be words you wouldn’t normally use in regular conversation, but that can be slipped into conversation quite easily, seamlessly.  No one else can suspect, you see.”

 

Pam feigned seriousness.  “I see.  How do they work?”

 

“Okay, it’s simple.  You say the code word to me when the operation is ready to commence.  I say my code word back to you as confirmation.  We usually then have 24 hours to begin the mission.”

 

Pam threw her head back and laughed.  “Begin the mission?”

 

“Pam, these are the rules of the spy games I played when I was eleven.  Not exactly tailor made for this situation, but you’re gonna have to go with it.  I have no other plan.”

 

“Okay, what’s my code word?”

 

“Uhmmm, oh, I know!  POUNCE.”

“Pounce? As in a cat?”

 

“nonononono – don’t SAY it.  Unless you are activating?”

 

Jim looked at Pam with a big exaggerated hopeful grin. 

Pam laughed and punched him on the arm.

 

“Okay.  I got my code word.  What’s yours?”

 

“Pepperoni.”

 

“No kidding?  Really?”

 

“So?  We’re agreed?”

 

“Agreed.”  Pam said happily.

 

“Normally we would do a spit shake now, but uh…since I’m driving, maybe we could just seal it with a kiss, later?”

 

“Almost there, Pam,” Jim whispered, waking Pam up.  “We’re just crossing the bridge now.”

 

Pam sat up and rubbed her eyes.  It was dark outside.  “Sorry,” Pam said sheepishly.  “Where are we?”

 

“Just crossing the bridge now.  We’ll be there in about 20 minutes. Are you hungry?  We could stop somewhere? ”

 

Pam considered.  A smile began and she tried to smother it, but an observant person would have seen a glint come into her eyes.  “I’d rather just stop and get something to bring to the house,” she said, looking at Jim.  “How about a pizza?  What kind do you like again?”

 

Jim looked at her, surprised she was asking.  “Pam, you know I like pep----mushroom.”

 

They both laughed.  She is so awesome!  

 

“So that’s how it’s going to be, is it?”

 

 

When she woke up on Monday morning, Pam stretched and spooned up to Jim, happy beyond words to be at the beach house with him.  They had arrived late the night before, tired from the long drive.  They had made up the bed, knowing without discussing it that they would share a bed.  They had eaten their (mushroom!) pizza and collapsed, each fully clothed in pajamas.  They had spooned up and both gone right to sleep.  Pam smiled to herself in anticipation of the week ahead. 

 

I am going to tease him like crazy, she said to herself.  Once Pam realized she could play pranks and tease Jim still, a whole new world opened up to her.  She hadn’t felt self-conscious or nervous around him since they agreed on the code words.   He’s brilliant, she thought.  This totally takes the pressure off, and yet makes it a game.  I’m gonna make him so sorry he came up with this idea!

 

 

Code words?  What was I thinking?  It’s actually kind of fun, though, and at least Pam doesn’t seem nervous or awkward around me now.  Jim rolled over and brushed Pam’s hair back from her face.  “Hello in there.” 

 

Pam smiled at him but said nothing, just looked into his eyes.  Jim felt his breath catch in his throat.  I’ve never seen a more beautiful sight in my life.  He allowed his eyes to take her in, from her mussed hair loose on the pillow, to her soft lips, long neck, and beautiful clavicle, the rest of her disappearing under the covers but still showing some delicious curves.  His eyes met Pam’s just as her eyes returned from checking him out equally fully.      

 

“So.  Here we are.  What should we do today?”

 

Pam considered.  “Grocery shopping, then fly kites?”

 

“Awesome,” Jim agreed, hopping out of bed.

 

“Mmmmmmmmm,” Pam moaned aloud, watching Jim’s retreating figure.

 

“What did you say?” Jim called from the bathroom.

 

“Oh, nothing,” Pam replied innocently, getting up herself.  She grabbed her suitcase and lugged it into the second bedroom to get ready.

*****  

Walking down the aisles of the grocery store, while Jim waited at the deli for the ham and cheese to be sliced, Pam saw what she was looking for.  She picked it up and walked back and threw it in the cart. 

 

“Whatcha got?”

 

Pam just picked up the package of pepperoni silently and showed it to Jim. 

 

Jim laughed.  “I am SO going to get you, Beesley, just you wait.”

 

Pam eyes widened and she let out a fake gasp.  She knew he hadn’t exactly meant it in that way, but she enjoyed pretending she thought he had.    

 Jim glanced at the people around him at the deli counter and gave her a look like, I’ll get you for that!   

****** 

It was Jim’s turn to put something in the cart without mentioning it to Pam.  He was leaning over the cart pushing it along.  Pam looked at the back of the container.  “Cat treats?  You’re buying cat treats?”

 

Jim merely turned the package around in the cart.   Pam saw Pounce Cat Treats written on the front of the container.

 

She allowed a snort of laughter to escape her as she banged her hip into Jim’s.  At the same time she blushed to the roots of her hair and felt a delicious shiver go all the way through her body.  Oh my God, how long can I keep this up?

******

Pam flopped down on the couch, hot and tired from a day flying kites on the sand dunes at Jockey’s Ridge Park.   As Jim unloaded the kites from the car and stowed them in the storage area of the house, Pam took a minute to go over the day in her head.   After shopping and a quick lunch at home (ham and cheese, naturally!), they had gone up to Jockey’s Ridge.  It was a warm sunny day for the time of year, and there were more people there than you would expect.

 

They had run around like kids, flying kites, chasing each other through the sand, even following the lead of several kids and running fast down the steep sandy dunes, falling and tumbling semi-on-purpose, landing in a heap at the bottom of the dunes.  We were like a couple of puppies, Pam thought.  

 

She grinned as she remembered Jim’s face when she had managed to work the words “flounce” and “bounce” into the conversation.  The look he gave her was a mixture of love, awe and mirth.  She felt a warm wave go through her body at the thought of it. 

 

Even funnier were his desperate attempts rhyme something with “pepperoni.”  

 

God, he’s so great.  I love this man.  Although she wouldn’t let herself consciously compare Jim to Roy, every once in awhile a thought came to her.  You never felt this way about Roy.  Not really.  You didn’t even know, all that time, that there could be something deeper, something MORE.  You really thought you were in love at the time.  It was NOTHING like this, ever.  Not ever. 

 

Suddenly Pam sat up on the couch.   All this waiting, holding back, going slow, seemed suddenly ridiculous.       

    

She had a new mission.  Working the word “Pounce” into casual conversation and watching Jim’s reaction to THAT.

 

 

Pam had gone through and abandoned several scenarios in her head while showering, getting dressed and getting dinner started.  She was making a roast pork tenderloin with french fries and broccoli.  It sounded harder than it was, and Pam liked how fancy it seemed when served, thinly sliced and fanned out on the plate.  The leftover sliced pork made delicious sandwiches and was great on salad too.  By the time Jim came out of his shower, dressed but with adorably damp hair, Pam had dinner well under way, but still no plan.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hi.”

 

 Pam flashed back to the day they had played Jinx at the office, when Jim could finally speak again and his voice cracked as he smiled up at her.  You are thinking too much about this, Pam told herself.  Just have fun and you’ll think of something at the right time.   

Suddenly Pam was even more hyper-aware of Jim’s every move than before.  The anticipation of her decision, the knowledge that he didn’t KNOW yet, the happy glow still lingering from their romp in the sand all combined to keep her a little shaky and bright eyed.  The shakiness was not from nerves, not anymore.  It was from excitement and anticipation.

 

Jim came in to the kitchen area and immediately began to put away the lunch dishes that were still in the draining rack by the sink and generally clean up, wiping down the counters.  Pam stole glances from her job cutting broccoli to watch his muscular forearms and hands as he worked, allowing her eyes to stray to his back and shoulders. 

 

As he turned to see what else he could do, Pam almost turned away so he wouldn’t catch her watching him.  She changed her mind.  Turning to face him, knife still in hand, she looked boldly into his eyes for a moment.  He returned the stare, looking very sexy and only slightly like a deer in headlights.  Pam let her eyes slowly and obviously roam all over his body, taking him in, imagining his strong lean body under his clothes. This is what it means to undress someone with your eyes, she thought.  She brought her eyes back to his, not even trying to cover up what she was just doing in her mind. 

 

That was the sexiest look I have ever seen in my whole life.  Jim had to consciously tell himself to breathe.  He raised his eyebrows at Pam, who was still staring at him boldly.  She held his gaze so intently, Jim felt an insistent pull in his groin and a butterfly in his stomach.  She kept looking directly in his eyes.  Alright, if that’s the way we are playing, I’ll take that bait and raise you one.  Jim copied Pam’s long appreciative look, letting his eyes fall to her lips, linger for a second, follow the line of her throat, drink in her clavicle and imagine her breasts under her blouse.  He let his eyes slowly fall even further, imagining her flat abdomen, sensual hips – he had to stop there, if he went on he knew he wouldn’t be able to cope.  He brought his eyes slowly back up to hers.

 

Both of them were inhaling ragged breaths by this time, standing there 3 feet apart.  Pam broke the moment by smiling and saying nonchalantly, “How about opening that bottle of wine?”

 

I think I’d better get out of here for a second, Jim thought.  Otherwise there will be no going back, code word or no code word.  He took the bottle of wine and corkscrew around the kitchen counter into the adjoining living room and set it down on the living room side of the counter.   He carefully opened the bottle and set it on the counter to breathe.  Speaking of breathing…  Jim turned away from the counter, desperate to find a distraction. 

 

“Do you mind if I flick on the TV?”

 

“Great idea,” said Pam, I need the distraction.  She could look over the kitchen counter directly into the adjoining living room and the TV.  She also had a great view of Jim’s back.

 

 

 Jim quickly settled on the Food Network.  Some zany guy was on, explaining how to defrost a frozen chicken, and why cold running water was better than heat.  Oh, not a chicken, a duck.  Either way, thoughts of cold water, just what I need right now.  A lucky escape.  I don’t know about that being better than heat, though… 

 

Pam was jumping up and down inside.  If we can do that to each other just with our eyes… 

 

Pam had been as turned on by that little eye contact session as she felt she had ever been in her life.  This past week, with Jim, she had been holding back, feeling a sense of fear and nervousness that kept her from going beyond a certain point.  She had obviously abandoned all pretenses of that now.  Her body, even after Jim left the room and turned on the TV, was positively vibrating for him.

*****

Dinner was over and cleared up. Jim and Pam sat companionably together on the couch, still watching the Food Network.  By now it was Rachael Ray, traveling and eating in some city somewhere for $40 a day.  Pam wasn’t really paying close attention, she was too aware of Jim sitting next to her, too aware of her own breathing, too aware of her heartbeat and the pulse throbbing in her neck.  Just do it.  

 

 

Jim leaned away from her, resting his head on the side of the couch, half turned towards her.  He brought his arm up around her, and fully stretched out his hand found the nape of her neck, playing with her hair lightly and he glanced over at her, content.

 

 

Perfect. Pam suddenly had a game plan, at least the beginnings of one.  She suddenly turned to Jim.  “We’re actually watching the Food Network?   What are we, like 50?”

 

 

Jim laughed.  “I like the Food Network.  Is there something else you want to watch?”

 

 

He has NO idea what is coming, thought Pam, gleefully.   She pulled her legs up under herself casually.  “No, not really,” she said casually.  “I thought maybe I’d….”

 

 

Pam paused for effect.  Then she launched herself in the air and landed lightly, straddling Jim’s waist, hands resting on the front his shoulders.  “….pounce on you instead.”

 

Pam couldn’t contain the expression of pleased excitement she felt as she watched for Jim’s reaction.  She was NOT disappointed.

 

First she saw a wide grin at her landing in his lap, as he immediately put his hands on the sides of her waist.  Then she saw his appreciative expression as he realized she was teasing him again about the code word.  That was fleeting, because he then immediately realized she had used THE code word.  Not a tease about the code words as she had been doing, THE actual code word.  The look of utter shock on his face was priceless.

“Whaa-at…did you say…?

 

“I said that instead of watching the Food Network, I wanted to POUNCE on you instead!”  Pam gave him an ear-to-ear self-satisfied smile.  Before he could react, while he was still sitting frozen, Pam ran her hands through his hair and nuzzled into his neck.  On impulse, she kept the image going with a “rrrr-oooww,” halfway between a meow and a purr, and nipped at his neck.  I can NOT believe I just did that!  I never did anything remotely like that before! 

 

Jim wondered if he would just die on the spot.  Please, no, please God, don’t take me now.   He leapt up with Pam in his arms and placed her back onto her back on the couch, coming down with his legs on hers, propped up on his elbows.  Talk about 0 to 60 in under 10 seconds…she sure knows how to get my attention...    

             

“Are you sure you meant to say that??”

“Oh, abso-LUTE-ly,” answered Pam, still in tease mode.  She made her voice sound professional, “I’m just waiting for confirmation, as per the rules of this mission.”

 

“Pepperoni!!!”  Jim yelled eagerly at Pam, both of them bursting out laughing. 

 

Pam caught her breath.  “Nuh-uh, Jim.  Too obvious.  You specifically said we had to work the code word into the conversation CASUALLY, so no one else will suspect.  I’m afraid I can’t accept that.”

 

She looked at him expectantly.

 

“AAAAUUUUGGHHHHH,”  Jim groaned dramatically.  “You are trying to KILL me.” He released her and rolled off onto the ground next to the couch.  Pam brought up her hand and mussed his hair gently.

 

“So,” she said, casually as if nothing had happened.  “Is it the Barefoot Contessa next?”   

 

 

Pam felt herself vibrating again.  She waited to see what he would do now.

 

Jim let a full minute go by, pretending to watch Rachael Ray wander the streets of Boston.  Even she could not draw his attention however.  He had not yet recovered from the shock.  Images of having sex with Pam filled his brain, each image crowding the last.  The possibilities were such that his head was spinning and he didn’t know if he would be able to calm down enough to even concentrate.  He wasn’t worried about himself, it was Pam that concerned him.  Typical of Jim, he automatically put her first.  If I don’t calm down, this will all be over way too soon.  This is the first time.  It’s for her, not for me.

 

Jim had had a lot of time to think about this.  Until recently, his thoughts of having sex with Pam he put in the fantasy category.  Wishful thinking, sure, but a fantasy nonetheless.  But ever since they had danced at Starr Hill, Jim’s fantasies had intensified and he had allowed himself to think that maybe they would really happen after all. 

 

He hadn’t allowed his thoughts to go there in her actual presence though.  Self-preservation.  She wanted to wait, he had been determined not to rush her.   Alone, in his own bed, with just his own body to consider, he had allowed his fantasies free rein.   In Pam’s presence, he had considered it a test of his will to stay in the moment and not push ahead in his mind.

 

Now she was ready.  Sitting there on the couch, the girl of his dreams was finally ready to have sex.  I know she wants me to take the lead.  She said that in the car.  God, just don’t let me go too fast or mess this up.                

 

Jim was surprised at himself.  He was not usually a nervous lover.  But right at this moment, the fantasy that was taking over in his head was a fantasy of hot, hard, urgency.  Jim knew that although this may happen soon (he hoped), it was not right for tonight.  He told himself to concentrate on showing Pam how much he loved her.  On going slowly.  On making it all about her.

 

 Jim was brought back to earth when Pam leaned forward over him from the couch and ran her hands across his chest from behind, nuzzling his neck.  She didn’t say anything, just a muffled “mmmmmmmmm.” As she kissed his neck, Jim mentally shook himself.  Quit thinking so much, Halpert.

 

Jim smiled.  Almost forgot about this code word game.   He got to his feet and strolled casually in to the kitchen. 

 

“Want a snack?  I could make cheese and crackers?  With pepperoni?” 

 

Pam smiled to herself, stretched slowly and lazily on the couch.  She was totally aware of how that looked from Jim’s vantage point, above and behind the couch, across the kitchen counter from her. 

 

“No thanks.  I’ll think I’ll go to bed.”

 

With that she walked slowly into the bedroom, avoiding eye contact with Jim, but with a slight sway to her hips.

 

Jim took a long drink of water and a mental deep breath before he followed her into the bedroom.

 

 

 

When Jim opened the door, he found Pam sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for him.  He crossed the room in a stride and leaned over and held her face in his hands as he kissed her passionately. 

 

She immediately responded, running her hands up Jim’s chest and kissing him back

equally passionately.  Jim pulled back and stared into Pam’s eyes.  Her pupils were huge and she was breathing hard already, the skin on her neck flushed.  They were both aware immediately of the change.   As great as their “make out sessions” had previously been, they had both been holding back, Pam through fear, Jim through consideration.  Now that was gone, and their eye contact conveyed their mutual understanding that this was going to be better than perhaps their wildest dreams.  Pam’s, anyway. 

 

Jim kissed Pam’s eyelids, down her jawline and neck, and up to her ear.  He let his breath fall on Pam’s skin, giving her shivers and causing a tiny moan.  His hand was behind her head, mussing her hair, his other hand on her hip.  He pulled back, held both of Pam’s hands in his own and kissed them both.  He dropped her hands and held her face and kissed her deeply again.

 

Pam allowed her hands to stroke Jim’s back, shoulders and arms, marveling at his strength and masculinity. 

 

Jim stepped back.  He knelt on the floor in front of Pam and gently took one of her feet.  He slowly removed her shoe and then her sock, taking time to rub her foot and run his other hand up her calf under her jeans.  Pam, unused to such loving attention, was taken aback at first.  Forget the past, don’t compare, just let go and enjoy this, Pam told herself, watching Jim on the floor.   

 

After Jim removed her shoe and sock from her other foot, he stroked his cheek across the top of her feet and kissed her insteps, gently massaging her calves still.  Pam reached down and touched his hair, running her hand through and stroking his scalp.  Jim ran his hands up her legs on top of her pants and raised himself back up to her. 

 

This time he sat on the bed next to her, kissing her lips, and running his hands up her ribs.  When he reached the underside of her breasts, he detoured each hand around the outside of her breasts, carefully and intentionally avoiding her nipples. 

 

Pam had been basking in the attention from Jim, getting used to the care and attention from him that she had never received before.  Now she brought her hands up to Jim’s chest, and she rubbed her hands up his chest and down to his abdomen a few times.  She brought her hands to the top of his pants and tugged his t-shirt loose in the front.  As soon as she had enough room, she slid her hands onto the skin on Jim’s abdomen, feeling the line of hair and warmth of his skin.  She reached behind Jim and pulled the rest of his shirt loose, and raised her hands up to his chest under the shirt, carrying it up with her.  Jim stopped his caressing just long enough to throw it off onto the floor. 

 

Kissing Pam’s neck, Jim took his turn, unbuttoning her blouse one button at a time, running his finger gently down the line of open buttons to reach each button in turn.  Pam’s hands were exploring the muscles on his back and upper arms, head thrown back as Jim nibbled on her neck. 

 

Blouse on the floor, Jim stroked his hands up her abs to her ribs and made the same detour from under her breasts around to the outsides, like he had done before, but this time he let his fingers stray a little closer to her nipples, still not touching them at all.  Her nipples had been erect since almost the first kiss, but now she was hyper-aware of them, longing for more.   Pam moaned softly and arched her back into Jim.  .

 

This was the cue he had been waiting for, his cue that he could move on and not be moving too quickly for her.  He unhooked her bra and it soon found its way to the ground.  Jim pulled back and looked at Pam, eyes taking her all in.  Pam watched him looking at her.  He closed his eyes for a second as if it was all too much, then he opened his eyes and reached out and gently cupped her breasts in his strong warm hands, pushing her back gently so she was lying on the bed. 

 

He went back to kissing her neck, on his knees by the side of her, hands on both breasts  but still avoiding her nipples.  Pam thought she would die from the delicious anticipation of it.  She arched her back and pressed herself against Jim’s body, running her hand down his back and down to his buttocks.  As she squeezed, so did Jim, copying her rhythm, while he began to inch his kisses closer and closer to her breasts. 

 

When he reached the top of her breast, he changed the nature of his kisses and began to lick as well as kiss her skin.  Pam squeezed his butt through his jeans and arched as hard as she could into Jim’s face, moaning, head thrown back.  Still he waited.

 

Her moans changed into short, higher pitched mews, coming as quickly as her breath, as close to begging without words as she could get.  As Jim finally took a nipple into his mouth and sucked, Pam felt a delicious jolt all through her body.   I didn’t know.  I didn’t know I could come like this.  Pam lost track of time and was not aware how long she rode that wave, bucking and mewing under the exctasy of Jim’s tongue, lips, and breath on her breasts.

 

Pam’s pupils were huge and her breath ragged when she finally came down, and he released his hold on her.  She immediately reached for Jim’s pants, tugging his belt open and unbuttoning his pants.  As she unzipped him, he reached down to help her, removing his pant and boxers quickly.  He immediately reached for her jeans, and soon hers were on the floor too. 

 

Jim paused to look into Pam’s eyes during this transition.  She regarded him with a look of complete surrender and trust.  Jim swallowed hard.  He knew he could just take her now.  He wanted to take her now.  He wasn’t sure if he could stand NOT taking her now. 

 

Instead, he lay next to her on the bed.  Looking in her eyes, he took both of her hands in his, kissed them and brought them up over her head.  She smiled, understanding, and lay back and relaxed.  Jim stroked her body with long, sweeping strokes, finally taking the time for a good long look at her completely naked body stretched out in front of him on the bed.  He had to stop for a second, close his eyes and bite his lip, hard.  Oh God, I want her. 

 

Jim began to kiss Pam all over her body, varying the depth and pressure of the kiss and the location, all the while gently stroking her skin.  He kissed the inside of her wrist, which was up over her head, allowing his body to drape over her, warm hairy chest within reach of her  mouth, his rock hard penis rubbing the length of her as he stretched to reach.  Then he drew back and kissed her belly, back up to her neck, back to her ribs and so on. 

 

Eventually he began to approach and retreat from where she wanted him to go most, going inches away but never quite there.   Soon Pam was writhing and moaning again, arching her back once again into him.  Once she brought her hand down to touch his head, trying to guide him.  He gently returned her hand above her head and ignored her direction, once again building her anticipation until she thought she would just die if he didn’t…

 

Somehow Jim knew exactly when far enough was on the edge of too far.  He gave in to her and brought his breath, lips and tongue to her.  He alternated long, lazy slow licks with hot breaths and tongue flicks, finally sucking and moaning a long quiet vibration into her.   Pam bucked and thrashed and lost herself completely in waves and waves and waves of bliss.   She kept coming and coming and coming.  The rational part of her brain wanted to stop and tell him, tell him that she had never, ever even come close to this before.  Every fiber of her being was on fire for him, and the rational part lost out.  Words could come later.  

 

 

When Pam stopped thrashing and lay still, Jim laid his head gently on her soft abdomen.  He could feel her still shuddering under him.  She lay quietly, breathing fast and hard still, with an occasional full-body shudder coursing through her system.   Jim waited.  He was so hard and ready it was almost painful.

 

Pam reached down and ran her hands through Jim’s hair firmly. She put one hand on the back of his neck and tugged.  As Jim lifted himself up and came up to her, she looked in his eyes, her eyes all glassy and unfocussed. 

 

“Please.  Please, Jim.” she gasped.   In a whisper, “I want you in me.”

 

Jim dropped his head to one side of Pam’s face, and breathed in her ear, as he used his other hand to guide himself into position.  He had never been so ready and so close with no direct stimulation in his life.  He rubbed back and forth against her once or twice, before he buried himself in her in one long slow stroke.   They both moaned simultaneously. 

 

 

“It won’t be long,” Jim whispered in her ear. 

 

Pam squeezed his back as hard as she could.  “You can do anything you want,” she whispered, head thrown back, still breathless.  “Anything.”

 

That was all the permission Jim needed.  He pulled almost all the way back out and plunged in to her, quickening his pace once he knew she was okay.  He was right, he didn’t last long.  Just as he was about to let go, Pam ran her fingernails down Jim’s back, moaned into his chest and squeezed inside.  Jim groaned loudly and came more explosively than he could ever remember, plunging hard and deep into her again and again and again, as she kept squeezing and squeezing, shuddering under him, still running her fingernails up and down his bare sweaty, back.

 

Jim finished in one final shudder and lay still.  They were both sweaty and breathing hard. 

 

I didn’t know, thought Pam.  Holy fuck.  I didn’t know.  Still, she wasn't ready to speak.  Wasn't ready to come all the way back to earth.  She was going to exist up there, in the floating, dreaming afterglow she never knew existed before now.   He was right there with her.   Words would ruin  it.

 

After a minute, Jim rolled off Pam and grabbed the covers and threw them over them both.  Pam rolled onto her side and snuggled into the crook of Jim’s arm.  She felt deliciously heavy and boneless, totally molded into the contours of his body.  She was still riding that out of body experience, floating, an occassional shudder still coursing through her body.  She kissed his chest, whatever part of him was nearest to her lips.  Gradually their breathing quieted and returned to normal.

 

After a moment of quiet, Pam spoke.

 

“Mmmmmmmmmmmm,” she said.  “Sleeping….”

 

"Mmmmmmmmmm.  'Night," rumbled Jim, just as wrecked as she was. 

 

Pam slept deeply and dreamlessly, like she had grown roots into Jim’s body. 

 

 

Jim stayed awake a little longer.  His arms were firmly around Pam, holding her as she slept.  He didn't dare move them and disturb her, so his tears fell unchecked from his lashes onto the bed.  

 

  

 

Pam woke first.  She always needed to pee immediately when she woke up.  She took a minute to remember last night and watch Jim’s sleeping back.

 

Did that really happen?  Was it really like that?  Pam really was overcome with the revelation of the night before.  She had only one man to compare to, only one definition of sex in her life until now.   With Roy, reaching orgasm was an illusive, fleeting thing.  She would be sure she was there, only to have it be gone before she was really sure.  She would get to the edge, and be off on the other side before she knew it.  She had never before had the rolling waves of pleasure that she had last night, and had never come multiple times.  She had never experienced the afterglow, floating sensation of last night.  She had never thought to complain or want more.  She simply didn’t know.

 

She remembered the night with a blush.  He had been so attentive and loving.  She knew he had focused almost entirely on her.  He had taken the lead and not expected her to initiate anything. Somehow that made it easier for her this first time, and she knew he knew that.  He just knew. 

 

I’ll make it up to him, Pam thought as she crept to the bathroom.

 

Returning to the bed, Pam slipped in behind Jim, spooning up, warming herself against his back.  He didn’t seem to wake up. 

 

After a minute, Pam slowly slid her hand down Jim’s side, careful to avoid his ticklish flanks, sliding her hand down slowly and gently but firmly.  She began to rub the front of his thigh.   After a minute she reached down and grasped his sleeping penis firmly but carefully.  This was something she was fairly certain she knew how to do.  She wasn’t expecting any surprises or revelations here.  She felt Jim grow big in her hand as she continued to work on him.  She knew to pull a little harder than she would have thought, and to vary her technique, and she knew many different techniques.  Jim groaned and quickly grew to full-size, hard and hot in her hand.

 

Jim groaned in pleasure.  He was having another of those wonderful dreams of his, and in his semi-conscious state, he resisted coming fully awake.  He had no problem finishing things himself, but he much preferred to stay in the dream that it was actually Pam doing this to him, for as long as he could, all the way if possible. 

 

Consciousness was breaking in though.  He’d have to let this dream go and come awake.  He was confused to feel hot breath on his back and a warm presence spooned up behind him.  With a jolt from his stomach, into his balls and straight into his eager penis, he realized it was not a dream.  It really was Pam.  Just that realization alone was almost enough to finish him off. 

 

As if she realized his very thoughts, Pam suddenly withdrew her hand.  Before Jim could react, her hand was back, deliciously warm and slippery this time.  She increased her motion to top speed now, breathing hot on his back, making a low sexy purr he could feel vibrating through his skin.  Jim groaned and thrust his hips against her rhythm, loosing himself in the sensation.  Pam spooned up tighter against Jim’s back and bit the back of his shoulders lightly as she finally brought him to release.   The knowledge that she was actually biting at his back as he came intensified Jim’s orgasm and he groaned and shuddered, gasping in pleasure. 

 

When she was sure he was done, Pam continued to squeeze him in her hand for a minute.  Then she slid her hand up his belly, wiping her hand as she went, hand coming to rest on Jim’s chest.  Jim rolled over onto his back and Pam slid easily between his arm and chest, snuggling in.  Into "her" spot.

 

“MMMmmmmmmm,” said Jim, stroking Pam’s hair and kissing the top of her head.  “Who IS this woman and what is she doing in my bed?”

 

Pam smiled.  “Mmmmmmm,” she answered.  “I sure hope you don’t want to get rid of her.  Because she is planning on staying RIGHT HERE all week.”

 

Jim softly laughed his deep sexy rumbling laugh.  “Okay then.”

 

 ****

 

They didn’t, in the end, stay literally RIGHT THERE in bed all week long.   They also visited the shower.  The spare bedroom.  The couch.  Also the floor in front of the TV, the bathroom counter with the mirror behind it, and up against the wall next to the oven in the kitchen.  Oh, and also the washing machine.    The weather had turned, and the days were dreary and cold, mostly wet.  Jim and Pam were more than happy to just stay in.

 

 The End.