He is ... so great

"Shhh. Don't say anything. Just ... think about it."

Pam watched Andy turn around, her eyes wide. Was he serious? I mean...

Suddenly, she noticed Andy pat Jim on the shoulder. A smile quirked up in the corner of her mouth.

Of course.

Jim turned around slowly, his eyes wide, a goofy half-smile on his face. He quickly looked at her. She grinned at him.

Of course.

Pam practically had to stop herself from running into the conference room. She got up from her desk slowly, watching him as she went over to the conference room. Pam swore that he winked at her right before she turned to go in. She sat down in one of the chairs against the window as Jack, one of the cameramen, adjusted the conference room camera. They kept it permanently set up in the conference room to record what they called "talking head" segments.

Pam felt herself bouncing up and down as she waited for Jack to finish. He nodded at her when he was ready. He didn't even have to say anything. "Wow," she said, grinning from ear-to-ear. "That was just ... wow."

Jack asked her if she knew it was a joke to begin with.

"Did I know that it was a prank? No. I just kept thinking, 'How could Andy be getting me so completely wrong?’ -- I didn't know what to say. And then, you know, I saw Andy pat Jim on the arm -- and then, you know, I knew that it was all Jim."

She paused for a minute, biting her lip. She shook her head. "I just... I mean, that was just great. He had everything -- the country music, Frisbee golf, hunting, cigars, pig latin? Jim must have written it down for him! And that Jim remembered all of that ..." She looked off into the distance, wistfully, her grin fading into a warm smile. "He is ... so great."

She thought for a moment, and smiled uncomfortably at the camera.

“He’s such a great friend.” Her smile turned into a half-frown just as she stood up.

The Target

"What is going on?"  Karen leaned up against his desk, just as Jim had finished telling Andy to sing to Pam in a "sexy falsetto voice."  Karen smiled at him, mischievous.

"I'm messing with Andy," he said, his voice low.  "I'm sending him to all the women in the office with just ... terrible information on how to get them to go out with him."

"I love it.  I want in.  Who's the target?

Jim made a face, turning away from her.  "Oh, you know what?  It was going to be Pam, but.."

Karen interrupted him.  "Perfect.  What do I do?  Just ... but ... give me an assignment." 

He hadn't planned on letting Karen in on the joke.  There was something about the way that she said it:  target, and assignment, that made it seem less like a friendly prank and more like a mean joke. 

"Oh... you know what, though?"  Jim felt like his chest was about to break in two.  He hated lying to Karen.  Time for recovery.  He made a face, like he was thinking about it.  "I feel like I already sicced him on Pam; we'll give her a break."  Jim looked around the room, surveying the safest option.  "Let's think of someone else." 

"Who?" Karen asked, leaning forward. 

Unconsciously, he leaned back against his chair.  Something about her being that close to him at work made him uncomfortable.  Pam wasn't at her desk, but Jim also didn't want her coming into the room and seeing them together.  He touched her arm.  "Come out into the hallway.  We'll discuss the game plan."

Her face opened up into a huge grin as she stood up.  She turned to look at him, her nose scrunched up.  It made him smile as he followed her out into the front hallway.

"What's the game plan?" she asked as they went through the front doors, standing outside the Vance Refrigeration suite. 

"Okay, so, since I figure he'll be all dejected when his efforts with Pam fail horribly, which they will--" Jim grinned, despite himself.  "--then, we'll start offering him other suggestions.  I thought we could hit Angela next."

"The blonde one?  In accounting?"

"Oh, yeah.  She's very uptight, and quite religious.  I know for a fact that she has very strict music tastes, which, I believe, are limited to some Christian music and a few country singers.  She hates most modern music, specifically rock music, metal, etcetera."

"Okay," Karen said. 

"So ... Lieutenant Fillipelli, it will be your mission to corner Andy in the break room and convince him that despite Angela's ‘strict' exterior, that she has a secret passion for rock and-or punk music, particularly of an anti-authoritarian nature, i.e., the Sex Pistols, Black Sabbath, Ministry, Rage Against the Machine..."

"Isn't Ministry more industrial music, as opposed to rock music?"

"You're splitting hairs here, Fillipelli."  Jim smiled at her.  "Look, this won't be an easy sell, but I'm counting on you to make it work.  Do you think you can handle it?"

"Of course," she said, squeezing his hand.  He felt blood starting to rush up his neck.

The elevator door opened, causing both of them to step apart.  Andy stopped when he saw the two of them.  "What you guys up to?  Is there something I should know about?"

"Uh, no," Jim said, as Karen said,

"No, we were just ..."

Jim interrupted:  "Going to see if they had Mr. Goodbars in the machine..."

"Yes, in the vending machine, next door," Karen picked up.

"Mr. Goodbars?"  Andy asked.  "You guys are so weird.  Everyone knows that Snickers bars are better." 

Jim watched as Andy slung his banjo case over his shoulder and headed back into the office.  "We're weird?" he asked, looking at Karen.  

Fun For No One

"When do I go do it?" Karen asked.

Jim leaned over her desk, pretending like he was going over a sales spreadsheet.  When Stanley glanced up at them, Jim said out loud, "So, the Hansen Medical account usually goes with Hammermill bright white in the 80 weight and eggshell in the card stock..."  When Stanley looked back down again, he started whispering to her:  "Okay, so wait until he's gone into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, then go for it."

Karen looked up at him with a genuine smile.  She seemed really pleased to be "in" on the joke.  Jim felt really guilty about that for some reason.  He glanced over at Pam's desk, and noticed her quickly ducking her head down.  He wondered if she was watching them.  Jim frowned, standing up straight.

He cleared his throat.  "So, anyway, you know, let me know how that goes with the, uh - Hansen account."

Karen smiled at him again.  "You got it, boss."  

She watched him as he walked back to his desk, and noticed that he glanced at Pam's desk as he went by.  Sometimes Karen wondered about Pam.  She had noticed that Pam sat next to him in the conference room on their first day in Scranton.  Karen noticed that Pam would sometimes make little comments.  She didn't think there was anything going on between them, but it was weird - like there was something about Pam that Jim wasn't telling her.  Did they used to be good friends?  Had they fallen out?  Did they used to date?  Karen remembered hearing something about Pam being engaged - it didn't have anything to do with Jim, did it?

No... Karen was pretty sure she'd heard that Pam had been with one of the guys in the warehouse.  Besides, Jim would have told her if he used to be engaged - wouldn't he? 

Yeah, that definitely wasn't it.

There was something, though.  Something between them that Jim hadn't told her about.  She just knew it.

Oh, crap.  She looked up, realizing that Andy had walked into the kitchen.  Looking around, she got up quickly, and headed towards the kitchen.  She turned around just before walking in, and saw Jim giving her a thumbs-up.  Smiling to herself, she went through the door.

"Andy," she said.

"Sweet Karen," Andy said, pouring a cup of coffee. 

She had to stop herself from cringing.  Karen hated when he called her that.  Remember the mission.  You can do this.  "Hey, so," she said, reaching into the fridge to pull out a bottle of San Pellegrino, "Jim tells me that you're hunting for fresh blood around here."

"You are correct," Andy said, turning to her as he stirred his coffee. 

She watched as he set the dirty plastic spoon onto the countertop.  Yuck.

"Well, yeah, I was talking to him about some of the women in the office and I thought I might give you a little piece of advice - woman-to-woman."  Karen thought about what Jim said:  I feel like I already sicced him on Pam; we'll give her a break.   "I know you've been thinking about Pam, but..."

"Karen," Andy said, putting his hand on her shoulder.  "Don't worry about it.  I have got this in the bag.  I know just the thing that will sweep our cute little receptionist off her feet."

"But ..."

"She won't be able to resist me.  Trust me."  Andy grinned at her with those huge teeth of his.  That smile always made him look more like a cartoon than a man. 

"It's just that..."

"This thing -- called love -- I just can't get enough..."  Andy started singing as he headed back out into the office.  Karen rolled her eyes as she watched him go. 

Well, that didn't exactly go as planned. 

She frowned, taking a long slug from the bottle.  The carbonated water burned as it went down her throat.  When she looked out into the office again, Andy was leaning over Pam's desk.

Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing.  Maybe Pam would actually like Andy, by some strange abomination.  There was someone for everyone.  Who knew?

It just seemed so wrong, though.

There’s Someone Else

“…the lovers, the dreamers and meee…” 

Pam watched as Andy finished off what was probably the silliest rendition of the song, The Rainbow Connection, that she’d ever heard.  It would actually be sort of cute if it weren’t Andy…

She turned to where Jim was sitting and smiled in his direction, even though he wasn’t looking at her.  She noticed the cameraman swing towards Jim.  Pam watched as his shoulders hunched and knew he had to be smiling.  Or cringing.  She knew he had to be dying right now. 

I am so in love with this man.

Sighing, she turned back to Andy, forcing a bigger smile onto her face. 

“What do you say, Pam?  I bet you can say you’ve never heard the Rainbow Connection performed like that.”

“No,” Pam said, trying not to laugh, “I really can’t say that I have.”  Wow, she thought to herself.

“You know, I used to perform in an a capella group at Cornell University, where I went to school, Here Comes Treble … ever heard of it?”

“No, no, I haven’t.”  It was getting harder and harder not to just burst out laughing.  What was worse, she was getting a case of the giggles, and knew that if she broke, she wouldn’t be able to stop laughing.  Damn it, Beesly.  Think about serious things.  Think about … something…

She glanced over in the direction of Karen, and saw Karen gesturing to Jim.  Instantly, the urge to laugh went away. 

“… and my last year there, we performed songs from Guys and Dolls …”  

Andy was talking about something – she didn’t even really know what he was saying, but she nodded, pretending like she was listening.  Really, she just wanted to leave. 

“I was thinking … maybe Saturday?”

“Hmm?” Pam said.  She realized Andy had just asked her a question.

“I just wanted to know if I could take you out, Saturday … to one of Scranton’s fine dining establishments?  We could sample some fine Belgian beers, maybe find a lounge where we could smoke some cigars …”

Pam coughed.  “Oh.”  She glanced quickly back and forth between Jim and Andy.  Jim was packing his stuff up for the day.  “I really … appreciate everything you’ve done, I mean, you’re really … something, Andy, but …”  She sighed dramatically, loud enough so Jim could hear.

“But?” Andy asked. 

Pam almost felt bad.  Andy looked really disappointed.  Then she remembered something Jim had said to her one day, when they were working on a particularly involved prank on Dwight:  Pam, no matter what, the joke must go on. 

“Well,” Pam said, “it’s just that … there’s someone else.”  Instinctively, she glanced towards Jim’s desk.  She saw him visibly tense up.  She watched the cameraman swing towards Jim again.  

“Someone else?  Someone we know?” Andy asked.

“Yes,” Pam said.  “I’m sorry, Andy, I just … I can’t.”

Andy leaned forward, grabbing Pam’s hand.  “Just do me one favor, Pam… just tell me … who is it?  Who is it that’s stolen your lovely heart?”

Pam swallowed.  “I…”  She glanced over in Jim’s direction again.  His entire body was now hunched over, and he appeared to be rearranging papers in his bag.  She knew he could hear their conversation.  She turned back to Andy, forcing a frown.  “I’m sorry, Andy, it’s just that… I’m in love with Dwight.”

A half-snort, half-cough exploded from behind them. 

Both Andy and Pam turned to look at Jim, who instantly stood up, pounding his chest.  He coughed again, loudly.  “Um, sorry, I just – frog in my throat, man, I – I’m going to go get a drink of water.”

Pam couldn’t help but smile as Jim bolted to the back office. 

Andy shook his head, turning back towards Pam.  He paused for a moment, then:  “Dwight?  Really?  I mean … the guy’s a geek, Pam.  He drives an ’85 Trans Am.”

“’87,” Pam said.  She had no idea why she remembered that.

“Whatever, I mean, I just … Dwight?  Really?”

Pam shook her head, trying not to smile again.  “I don’t know what to say, Andy.  You’re really sweet and talented, but, you know, I grok geeks.” 

Andy’s eyes went wide.  “Wow, I guess … I didn’t see that one coming.” 

“I’m sorry, Andy,” Pam said as they both stood up. 

She finished buttoning up her jacket and gathered her stuff to leave.  As she was waiting for the elevator, Jim and Karen happened to step out of the office doors.  Pam noticed Jim stop in his tracks when he saw her waiting there. 

Jim cleared his throat.  “Pam…”

Pam smiled at them.  She smiled as though seeing them walk out together meant nothing.  In reality, it meant everything.  Jim stood uncomfortably at the edge of the hallway. 

“Okay, seriously, I have to know,” Karen said, coming up to her.  “You aren’t really in love with Dwight, are you?” 

Pam smirked.  “Of course not.  God help me.”

Karen’s face filled with relief.  “Thank God.  I was hoping there was someone else around here who wasn’t completely nuts.”

“Yeah,” Pam said.  “Well.”  She looked over at Jim, who was avoiding her gaze. 

“Hey,” Karen said.  “Jim and I were going to go grab a drink, would you want to join us?”

For a split second, Pam almost said yes.  But then she thought about them getting a booth in a bar somewhere, having a few drinks, watching Karen put her arm around Jim – her Jim – watching them be close – closer than she would ever be – and she knew she couldn’t.

“Um …  I really can’t; I have, um, an assignment I need to work on.”

They stepped onto the elevator as it opened.  “Oh,” Karen said.  “Are you in school?”

“I’m taking art classes,” Pam said as the door closed.  Pam saw Jim’s head turn towards her out of the corner of her eye.  That made her smile to herself.

“That’s awesome,” Karen said.  “I’ve always been horrible at drawing.  The only ‘D’ I ever got in school was in art class.  Isn’t that horrible?”

“No,” Pam said, still smiling.  Something inside her made her really glad that Karen wasn’t into art.  “I’m sure you have something that you were always good at.”

“Math,” Karen said.  “I almost became an accountant, but my parents encouraged me to major in business instead.  Which led me here…”  She gave Pam a knowing smile. 

“Hm,” Pam said.  The elevator landed on the ground floor.  “Well, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“See ya,” Karen said.  A second later, she heard,

“’Bye Pam,” come quickly out of Jim’s mouth.  Pam didn’t turn around as she walked towards her car.

We Need To Talk

“Pam, we need to talk.”

Pam looked up at the tall figure looming over her desk. “Yes, Dwight?” she asked.

“Not here.” He looked around furtively; then gestured to the conference room. Pam shrugged and set the phones to automatic voicemail.

As she got up from her desk, she noticed Jim watching them curiously. She wondered if Jim had said anything to Dwight about what she’d said to Andy. She followed Dwight into the conference room where he quickly closed the door.

“Sit down,” he said, gesturing to one of the chairs.

Pam looked at the chair, then at Dwight. “Actually, I’d rather stand,” she said.

She walked Dwight shift from one foot to another. Then: “Look, someone told me that you said you have feelings for me.”

“Who told you that?” Pam asked.

“I can’t really say, but, the thing is, I’m not really sure if it was a reliable source, and …”

“Was it Jim?” Pam asked.

Dwight looked confused for a second. “No,” he said automatically. “I mean… I don’t know, I mean… no. It wasn’t.”

She realized he was telling the truth. “Who told you that, Dwight?”

“Look, it’s not important, the thing is that, while I’m really flattered, I’m already in a committed relationship. I realize you’re probably still hurting from Roy breaking up with you—“

“I broke up with him,” Pam said flatly.

“You what? I thought – I mean, I just figured that he would have—“

“What’s your point, Dwight?” Pam asked. She felt impatient now.

“Anyway, it’s just that, while I’m flattered, you know, I just … can’t.”

“I know,” Pam said. “You’re dating Angela.”

“What?” Dwight asked, suddenly flustered. “No I’m not! We’re just work acquaintances, and—“

“Dwight, I know you’re dating Angela, it doesn’t matter. Andy was the one who told you that I was interested in you, wasn’t he?”

“Yes.”

“Well, it was a joke. He was … well, it doesn’t matter, but I was kidding when I told him that. I don’t … have any feelings for you.”

“Really?” Dwight asked. He sounded a little disappointed.

“Really,” Pam said, putting her hand on his arm.

“Are you going to tell anyone about me and Angela?” Dwight asked.

“No, Dwight,” Pam said, sighing. “Office relationships are nobody else’s business, anyway.”

Dwight nodded. He gestured to Pam for a hug. Rolling her eyes, she hugged him quickly.

“You’re a good person, Pam.”

“Thanks, Dwight.”

In the main office, Andy stood next to Jim, staring at the conference room. “Just look at that. I can’t believe it. They’re totally flaunting their little ‘office relationship.’ That’s disgusting.”

Jim turned to Andy, a small smile on his face growing bigger. He straightened out his expression before saying, “I understand you’re probably still bummed about Pam. Believe me, I did not see that coming. I had no idea.”

“Yeah. Totally blindsided us both.”

Jim nodded, watching Pam as she stood in the conference room alone now, staring out the window. Dwight had gone into the back office.

Jim collected his thoughts, turning to Andy. “Anyway, I know I told you that you probably shouldn’t do it, but, you know, I may have misjudged … I have some great ideas on how you can get Angela to go out with you.”

“Seriously? Big Tuna, you are the man. Let me go grab a pad of paper.”

“I’ll meet you in the break room in five minutes,” Jim said, looking over at the conference room again. Pam was on her way out now, and she caught his eye, causing him to quickly look away.