Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

It’s exactly 1:37 AM when Pam’s cell phone, charging on her bedside table, begins to ring. The first time it rings, she groans, rolls over and ignores it. Her head hurts and she has to be in work in a few short hours. But the caller is persistent, and when the phone begins to ring again, part of her worries that maybe it’s an emergency. Head still beneath the covers, she gropes around until her fingers finally find the phone. She clumsily flips open her phone and mutters “Mmphhello?”



“Heeey Pam.”



Suddenly Pam is wide awake. She would know that voice anywhere, even though it still feels so far away. “Jim?”



“Yes. I am Jim. Um, I got you’re text and… I tried to text back buuut my fingers won’t work.” Jim’s words were slurred and Pam heard something crash in the background. “Shit.”



It doesn’t take Pam long to figure out that Jim is drunk. Intensely drunk at that. It was funny, but she couldn’t recall if she had ever seen him drunk before. She remembers the night of the Dundies when Roy had left and she had gotten very drunk. And she kissed Jim. She was able to dismiss it as a drunken slip-up. But knowing now how he had felt, it hurt to wonder what that had done to him. And he had taken care of her for the rest of the night, picking her up off the floor and preventing her from getting into too much trouble. He had been a better friend than she deserved. “What was that? Are you okay?” She asked, concerned about the crash.



“That was my coat rack.” Jim began to chuckle. “I actually have a coat rack…is it just me, or is that kind of ridiculous? I don’t have that many coats anyway… It just seemed like a fancy new thing. We both do fancy new things you know! I’m doing new things. I eat tuna now.”



“Tuna?” Pam giggled. “Did you have a thing against tuna before?”



“No, nothing against tuna. I always ate ham and cheese. Always. I was a ham and cheese guy. Specifically ham and cheese. For 5 years.” Jim went silent for a moment. “Did you forget?” His voice sounded so uncertain, for a moment Pam wasn’t sure it was Jim.



“No, no, no,” Pam said hastily “I didn’t forget. Of course I didn’t forget.” Pam chewed on her lip nervously. “So did you go out with some friends tonight, or what?” It was weird to think of Jim having another new best friend.



“Nope. Drank at work. Some weird…tradition thing they have. Not like some beer-drinking tradition either. We are talking hardcore liquor traditional drinking! And I couldn’t bike home, because balancing was stupid. So Karen drove me home.”



Pam’s breath hitched in her throat. “Who’s Karen?”



“Karen? Karen is a really nice girl.” A hint of bitterness crept into Jim’s voice. “And she’s really pretty. And she likes me.” The alcohol in Jim’s system made him callous, but he was still hurting. Several months after, and time hadn’t done shit for his heart. He wasn’t sure why he had called her back; he had missed her voice more than she would ever know, but talking to her was painful.



“Oh.” Pam had absolutely no idea what to say. Of course she hadn’t expected Jim to pine over her forever. But why now, just when she was really feeling like she had things together, really feeling ready for a new relationship? “Well, it’s really good, you know, that you’re meeting people in your office.”



“Yeah, Karen’s great.” Jim sighed, rummaging through his refrigerator. At the same time, he doubted he could keep anything down right now. “Everything’s fucking great.”



Pam felt out of her depth, not knowing how to handle this raw emotion. “Well…” Pam said hesitantly “Everyone here really misses you.”



“Pfft.” Jim snorted. “Like Dwight? Or Angela?” Jim asked sarcastically. “I’m pretty sure Stanley isn’t all that torn up. I don’t think Creed ever even learned my name.”



“Well I’m pretty sure that Michael’s been crying himself to sleep at night.” Pam joked weakly, and gave an internal sigh of relief when he laughed genuinely. “And Phyllis and Oscar and Ryan miss you. Kelly misses you a lot. You were her best sounding board!”



“Oh god,” Jim groaned, rubbing his forehead. “Just thinking about it gives me a headache. Or my hangover is starting early. Who’s her new victim?”



“Me actually. Thanks for that.” Pam sighed. “It is kinda fun sometimes to have a girly girlfriend to gossip with though. You were never much help with nail polish.”



“Hey!” Jim cried indignantly. “I am the king of nail polish! I know more about nail polish than…the person who invented nail polish. Sometimes the person who invented nail polish comes up to me and is like ‘Hey Jim…I have a nail polish question for you…’ And I always know the answer.”



Pam laughed “Alright, well now I’ll just call you with my nail polish questions instead of Kelly. Cause you know I had so many. But can you help me with my online shopping?”



“God no. But I contain a plethora of basketball trivia.”



“A plethora, huh?”



“Yes, a plethora. What do you need to buy online anyway?”



Pam paused. “It’s kinda embarrassing… she thought I should start dressing, like…sexier now that I’m ‘back on the market‘ as she calls it.” Jim swallowed hard, and coughed. “But it backfired.” Pam continued. “The only kind of guys whose attention I got were guys like Creed.” She decided not to mention Roy’s comment on her new shirt.



Jim felt relieved, even if he wasn‘t sure he had the right to be. “I’ll have you know that Creed is a very, very sexy man.” he confirmed.



Pam laughed. “And you are very, very drunk.”



“True! I am drunk.” Jim confirmed. “What time- shit…” Jim stopped, realizing how late at night, really, how early in the morning it was. “I’m sorry Pam.”



“It’s okay.” Pam said hastily. “It’s good talking to you. I’ve missed you. Every time I look up, Ryan’s sitting at your desk and I hate it. Just going to work every day knowing you aren‘t going to be there is so much harder.” Pam said in a rush.



There was a long, torturous silence. “Don’t-don’t do that Pam.” Jim said, his voice choked. “I’m starting over. We didn’t want the same- you didn’t want…” Jim couldn’t continue. “I gotta go Pam.” He said before hanging up abruptly.



Pam was left listening to the dial tone, staring into the lonely dark of her fancy new bedroom. Curled up in the cold, vast expanse of her fancy new bed. Crying into the harsh, unsympathetic silence of her fancy new life.

Author's Note: OH. MY. GOSH! Reviews! I love reviews! They are like crack! (In that I am addicted to them, and they make me write much faster *hint hint*) Well, thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, it was amazing to hear from you! Therefor, I give you more Jam goodness:

Chapter Two

Jim awoke to harsh rays of sunshine slicing through his eyelids, and he groaned pitifully. It felt like what was normally the gentle sunlight that drifted through his window was now burning into his brain. Everything was a little fuzzy, and he made a vague assessment of his situation. He was dressed in his work clothes from yesterday, now wrinkled and smelling of alcohol. His alarm clock was bleating hopelessly, as it had been for the past few hours. “Oh God,” he moaned, his memories of the last night dim. He was late enough for work that there was no getting there now. He would have to call in sick, and while he doubted they would accept his excuse, there was no way he was working today. He was now recalling why he didn’t drink much. Hangovers. “Uugh, alcohol is the devil.” Jim decided, burrowing his head beneath his pillow.



Something was poking him painfully in his side, and he rolled over with much effort. Reaching down, he managed to fish his cell phone out from beneath the sheets. “Oh fuck.” he said to no one in particular. Another reason he didn’t drink much: drunk dialing. He had a tendency to become far too truthful when he was drunk. He would suddenly feel the need to clear all secrets from his life, and it usually ended with some awful consequences. Who did I call? He wondered to himself. He was fuzzy on how he even got home last night. He somehow doubted that he had biked.



He flipped open his phone. One missed call from Karen; how had she even thought to call him before 12 AM after a night of heavy drinking? At the same time, he guessed it was kind of sweet, her checking up on him. He finally remembered her giving him a ride home, preventing him from attempting suicide by bicycle. He hoped he hadn’t sang in front of her or anything.



He went to recently dialed numbers, holding his breath. Maybe he has just called his brother, or Mike or something… But when he saw the number that flashed up as number one, he felt a sinking in the pit of his stomach. It was the number that he never called, yet he knew it by heart.



Pam. Fuck, what had he said?! Should he call her back? Or did he say something truly awful, something that required he leave her a bit to cool off? Well we’ve had about 3 months of cooling off, he thought as he managed to sit up. His head was positively pounding, and as he let it rest in his hands he felt that his hair had become a shaggy, unmanageable mess. He decided he needed a plan. Sometimes when Jim felt overwhelmed, he just made a plan. He realized it was kind of a nerdy thing to do, but it helped him get organized, and his thoughts were everywhere right now.



Jim Halpert’s Plan for Hangover Recovery:
1. Call in work; try to sound pitifully sick.
2. Advil. Lots of it.
3. Get some kind of food. Preferably pancakes.
4. Shower. Big time.
5. Call Pam.
5. Make a plan regarding the Pam situation.



Plans are good. Just follow the plan, Jim.



)()()()()(



“Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam. Hold please.”



“Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam. Hold please.”



“Luke Skywalker, this is your father. Hold please.”



“What?!” The confused customer exclaimed.



Pam sighed. “Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam. Hold please.” Every time the monotony of her job got to her (and it did more often than she would like to admit), she would remind herself that it at least paid for her art classes. And her art classes would take her somewhere someday, at least that’s what she hoped. Occasionally she wondered if she only believed that because Jim had told her so, but she hoped that a part of her had faith in a different future.



“Miiiiss Pamela Beesley!” Michael proclaimed, emphasizing his entrance with a little drum roll on Pam’s desk. “I need any messages, stat!” he said in a fake doctor voice. Sometimes it almost made Pam sad, the way that Michael felt the need to be constantly entertaining. He was so insecure that everything he did had to be flashy and dramatic. But at the same time, a small part of Pam envied Michael. He always went for what he wanted, full out, damn the consequences. He would never miss an opportunity because he was too reserved, or too scared of the unknown.



“Umm, you have 3 messages.” Pam said, handing Michaels 3 small slips of paper. “Two are actually from Jan, I think it’s pretty urgent.”



“That’s what she said!” Michael said automatically. “Wait, that doesn’t really…oh well. Hmm, apparently Jan has Michael fever pret-ty bad!” Michael waggled his eyebrows, grinning lasciviously “You know, if you wanna get a piece of this,” Michael gestured to his ‘goods’, “you better hop on it!”



Pam didn’t even want to address that innuendo. She just gave Michael her patented, dead-eyed stare that usually put him off. Michael chuckled awkwardly. “Alllrighty then…” He retreated back to his office. Pam smiled. Works every time, she thought, returning back to her sketch.



Her class was working on portraits, something that Pam didn’t draw very often. Usually she enjoyed landscapes, or simply sketching her surroundings. But the fact that the majority of her surroundings sketches were of the office depressed her a little bit, so this new work was refreshing. But she wasn’t sure whose portrait to do. She didn’t want to creep out anyone in the office by staring at their head for a prolonged period of time, but she wasn’t sure if there was a face she could hold clearly enough in her mind to draw it. Well, she knew there was one, but she wasn’t sure she was ready for that.



However, her hand had already wrapped itself around the small, charcoal pencil, and it had begun lightly sketching the outline of his face. Her pinky brushed the page with every careful stroke, and she soon became absorbed in her work. He had that effect on her; when she began thinking about him, she found herself getting lost. She quickly became unaware of the passage of time.



“Oh my god, that is like sooo good. You are so talented Pam!” Kelly’s shrill voice gave Pam such a jolt that she almost jumped out of her skin. Her hand jerked, leaving a dark, ugly smear on the drawing. Damn it! Pam cursed inwardly, biting her lip. Her mother hated it when Pam bit her lips, but it was a nervous habit. “Can I look at it?!” Kelly jumped up and down with delight. She was easily delighted sometimes. Pam glanced down at her drawing as if seeing it for the first time. It shocked her with it’s likeness of him.



“Um, it’s really not that good, it’s just kinda a- a general sketch, you know, for practice…” Pam said nervously, almost babbling. She wasn’t one to compliment herself all that much, but the drawing was accurate enough that there was no way Kelly would mistake it for anyone but him.



“Oh, okay…” Kelly’s lower lip jutted out into an unattractive pout.



“But, um, do you want to go shopping Saturday?” Pam said hastily. Kelly was like a child sometimes, if not most of the time. She was annoying but she managed to make you feel horribly guilty for denying her, and the best thing to placate her was shopping.



Kelly’s face quickly brightened. “Oh my god, toootally!” Kelly crooned. “We could get you some really sexy high heels and- Ooh, one of Ryan’s buddies is in town and we could totally double date!-” As Kelly chattered on, Pam felt herself wince a little bit, and she swore that she could see Ryan, sitting at Jim’s desk, do the same.



)()()()()(



Jim sat at the edge of his bed, staring at his cell phone. He had called work; the crotchety old secretary had sounded skeptical of his unconvincing cough, but she had let him go. He had taken lots of Advil and his head had ceased pounding (it now simply throbbed). He had plowed his way through six pancakes drenched with syrup, and now he sat here. Staring at a phone. He had considered everything, and it seemed the only thing he could do was call her and pray that he hadn’t cried or puked on the phone.



He dialed the number for Dunder-Mifflin; she was less likely to pick up her cell phone during the workday. He just knew those kind of things about her; her mundane, daily habits that Roy had never noticed, but that Jim had treasured.

“Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam. Hold please.”



His heart jumped at the sound of her voice (part of him hated that she could still do that to him). For some reason, he hadn‘t expected her to actually pick up. It was hard to believe that life at the Scranton branch continued like it used to, except without him. He hastily called out, “Pam, wait-” before she could put him on hold.



Silence hung heavily in the air for a moment, and Jim worried that he had spoken too late. But then a small voice greeted him (for the second time in 24 hours):



“…Jim?”

 Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

*Last chapter…*
He dialed the number for Dunder-Mifflin; she was less likely to pick up her cell phone during the workday. He just knew those kind of things about her; her mundane, daily habits that Roy had never noticed, but Jim had treasured.



“Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam. Hold please.”



His heart jumped at the sound of her voice (part of him hated that she could still do that to him). For some reason, he hadn‘t expected her to actually pick up. It was hard to believe that life at the Scranton branch continued like it used to, except without him. He hastily called out, “Pam, wait-” before she could put him on hold.



Silence hung heavily in the air for a moment, and Jim worried that he had spoken too late. But then a small voice greeted him (for the second time in 24 hours):
“…Jim?”



Jim froze. There was no turning back now, but he was in unfamiliar territory. It had been easier to talk to her a week ago; although he was surprised, he managed to come off as okay. He was surviving in Stamford. It had been good, like the old times. But now, he had no idea what he had said or revealed. But he figured saying hi might be a good start. “Um, hey Pam. Yeah, it’s Jim.”



Pam glanced around the office. Everyone seemed fairly immersed in their work (or their solitaire games), and it appeared no one had heard her say his name. She placed her hand on her chest, hoping to calm her pounding heart, only to notice that her hand was shaking.



Finally, she took a deep breath. Pam, you’re being ridiculous, she scolded herself. It’s Jim. Just Jim. But even as she thought it, she knew that he had never been ‘just Jim’, and he never would be. Not to her. “Hi.” she said softly “How’re you feeling?”



Jim cringed. Somehow, despite the evidence, he had hoped that he had never actually called her, that maybe she hadn’t picked up. But now, there was hard proof that she had, and he thought that he could tell from her tone that he had said something. All he could do now is try to repair the damage.



“Um, I’m considerably better.” Jim replied, trying to sound lighthearted. “Last night at uh, the office, well, there’s this kind of tradition they have with the sales staff. Basically it involves a lot of drinking. And you know how horrible I am under peer pressure. I’m worse than a eighth grader.”



Pam smiled, closing her eyes gently. This was good, when they spoke like this. She could sit and simply pretend that nothing had changed. That he wasn’t in another state, that they didn’t speak for months. “How many times have I told you Jim, just say no!” Pam joked quietly, because for some reason this was just something that she couldn’t share with the office. “I hope they at least didn’t convince you to go streaking.” She was glad at that moment that he couldn’t see her blush. It was embarrassing in itself, how she was so easily flustered.



At the same time, Jim smiled, wondering if Pam was blushing right now. “Well I don’t think I did, but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t remember anyways.” He tried his best to prepare himself; he had to bring it up sometime. “Um, I really don’t remember a lot of last night. But I saw on my cell phone that I had called you, so… I guess this is kind of damage control.”



Pam subconsciously slid down further in her chair, hiding herself from view. Did he really not remember? What did that mean for her? Should she just tell him about his crowning as the King of Nail Polish, or should she tell him the extent of what he revealed? About Karen, and that tinge of bitterness in his voice that still stung a little bit every time she thought of it. And she had thought of it a lot since last night, like a sore tooth that she couldn’t stop prodding with her tongue. The memory left a sharp, metallic taste in her mouth. “Uh, yeah, we-we talked a little bit last night.”



Jim swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. “I… I’m not really sure what I said. And I wanted to kind of check in with you. To make sure I didn’t say anything really… out of line.”



The nervousness that resounded in his voice, that uncertainty that she had never heard from him before brought tears to her eyes. It terrified her that maybe she had done this to him. She didn’t want to flatter herself by thinking that she had ruined his life or anything, but still in the back of her head she knew that she had wrecked his heart. Even if now she felt ready for something more between them, it wasn’t about her anymore. It was about him, and letting him heal. “No, no, you didn’t say anything… inappropriate.” Pam sniffed as quietly as she could. She didn’t notice Angela watching her over the file cabinets that separated their desks. Pam tried to sound nonchalant. “No, we just talked about the Diwali festival that Michael had everyone in the office go to last night.”



Jim breathed a sigh of relief, feeling as if a weight had lifted from his shoulders. She didn’t know. She didn’t know that talking to her still made him feel breathless. “Diwali huh?” Jim chuckled. “That sounds like a blast.”



“Oh but it was!” Pam smiled, wiping her eyes. “There uh, was lots of Indian dancing, and Michael managed to propose to Carol and try to kiss me, all in the same night!”



“What?!” Jim exclaimed, unable to quell the wave of protectiveness he felt towards her even at the idea of Michael making a move on her. “Details Beesley, right now!”



“Well, it all started off when Michael made copies of the Spark Notes Kama Sutra for each of us…” Pam began. They were fine. They would always be fine.



)()()()()(



Pam sat in the stairwell, crying softly. She hated how much she cried lately, and she really was trying to keep it together. But it was hard with both Roy and Jim gone. Jim more than Roy really, but maybe Jim’s absence would be more tolerable with Roy there. She knew she needed this, to be independent. She just hated waking up alone.



She had chatted for a little with Jim, and it had been nice. To know that they could still connect almost like they used to, even if it wasn’t exactly the same. And it never would be the same. To think of that broke her heart a little more every time. As her tears began anew, she didn’t even hear the door behind her open.



She was startled as Dwight sat down next to her, and she sat straight up, wiping hastily at her puffy eyes. But something about his face, which looked completely different than normal, told her that she didn’t need to speak. It was a look of total understanding.



“I pined over the woman that I love for many months.” Dwight began, in a voice that was a bit pretentious but also compassionate. “But the time that I suffered made our union even more spectacular.” Dwight gently placed a hand on Pam’s back, patting softly. “This too shall pass.” He whispered.



Pam was shocked and grateful all at the same time. She knew that maybe part of the reason Dwight was here was just to play love-sensei, but still. He had come, and his words held truth. Maybe this wasn’t the end for her and Jim, but a whole new beginning. There would always be men named Roy and women named Karen who might come between them. But they too would pass. Pam smiled a watery smile, and Dwight smiled back.



)()()()()(



Dwight re-entered the office and sat down at his desk, adjusting his things. Looking up, he made eye contact with Angela, who raised an eyebrow. Dwight nodded conformation to her unspoken question as Pam walked in and sat at her desk, her eyes only slightly red. Angela looked her over, looked back at Dwight, and smiled.



AN: Okay, guilty as charged. I did steal a little bit from the ‘Back From Vacation’ episode. But I so loved that scene! And it turns out that Angela does have a heart :) Reviews are a lovely, lovely thing!!!

AN: Okay, so I've been having a little bit of a fight with the page breaks in my stories, in that they don't want to work. So I’m really sorry if it’s been at all confusing, hopefully they‘re fixed now. And also, sorry for my incredible newbie-ness, but what’s a beta-reader?

“Ladies aaand gentlemen!” Michael announced, flinging his arms wide. He loved to imagine himself enrapturing audiences with his wit and presence, but Pam merely rested her head in her hands. She threaded her fingers through her slightly messy hair, massaging her temples. She did not have the patience for this right now; her barrette was digging into her scalp, she had a headache, it was about 10 minutes before lunch break, and she just wanted to sit in the break room and eat her damn yogurt. But Michael continued, as usual totally unaware . “May I have your attention please!”



Stanley sighed, not even looking up from his crossword. “Make it quick Michael.” he drawled. He smiled inwardly as he got 32 across and filled in the blanks with neat letters. Stanley knew that people thought of him as ‘the crossword guy’. But they didn’t know that it wasn’t just a hobby, that he needed to do these just so he could feel like his mind wasn’t going to waste. He may not be where he pictured himself being when he was younger, but he could still do The New York Times crossword puzzle in under a few hours. Sometimes you just have to hang on to the little things, he thought tiredly. For him, it was crosswords and pretzel day,



Michael coughed, but remained undeterred by the lack of response from his employees. “Well, over the past two years or so, I know that a lot of you have been hearing rumors about downsizing.” Michael emphasized the word, and just as he expected he suddenly had everyone’s rapt attention. People’s expressions varied: both Stanley and Toby looked reluctantly hopeful (retirement was on the horizon) and Dwight looked thoroughly dismayed, though he tried to hide it (he did not want to seem in any way unsure, lest a co-worker see any weakness). “Now, my faithful workers, I bring you news!” Michael cried. “It came down to either us or them, and-”



“Whose ‘them’?” Pam asked.



“‘Them’ is the Stamford office in Connecticut. Now, don’t interrupt Pam.” Michael said hastily. “Anyway boys and girls, we won. Due to our spectacular profits last quarter, we won. We will be absorbing the Stamford branch!”



Dwight gave a victory yell, pumping his fist into the air and showing his teeth in a rare grin. But others were not nearly as enthusiastic, even at the prospect of new co-workers. Stanley simply sighed and returned to his crossword and Toby drifted off to dreams of surfing lessons. But Pam sat at her desk, frozen. Stamford. Where he worked. “Michael!” Pam called quickly, before he could return to his office. “What do you mean when you say ‘absorb’? Like, is everyone who works there coming to work here?”



Michael was encouraged by at least one person’s interest in what he saw as a victory. “Well Pam,” he began, coming over to place his hands on his desk, fingers spread wide. He liked to think he had nice hands, especially since he took care of his nails. Todd Packer might consider it kinda gay, but he had read in Small Businessman that people notice things like that because it looked more professional. “A few people will transfer, around four or five. But the rest will be let go, suckahs!” Michael hissed, snorting unsympathetically.



“Do you know yet who will be transferring?” Pam asked, trying not to seem too eager or curious. But Michael, in a surprisingly intuitive moment, caught on to her intentions anyway.



“Ohhh, Miss Beesley!” Michael crowed in some kind of bizarre accent that Pam couldn‘t place. He winked and she flushed. “Are you wondering if there will be a reunion of the two lovebirds of the office?!”



Pam looked around the office, hoping that no one had overheard. “Michael…” she said plaintatively, not knowing what to say. How could she seriously say no when that was in fact what she was wondering? However, Michael noticed the desperate look on her face and he decided to take mercy on her. But he totally didn’t understand her embarrassment, seeing as the kids were obviously made for each other!



“Okay, I know Jan’s at least offering him a position here. But I’m not sure if he’s going to take it, given your whole ‘situation’.” He made air quotes with his fingers. “The ball’s in his court right now.”



“What are you talking about, ‘situation’?” Pam asked, scrunching up her eyebrows. What had Jim told Michael? As far as she knew, Michael and Jim had only spoken at the conference a few weeks back.



“You know, him being in love with you, you almost getting married, him transferring because of you.” he said a bit callously. Michael missed Jim, and he was still a little bitter about his transfer.



Pam’s throat went dry, and she barely managed to keep her emotions from parading across her face. “Yeah, yeah of course. Okay, thanks Michael.” Pam replied, trying to subtly dismiss him. Of course she had guessed as to why Jim left. But to hear it put in such blunt terms was a very different matter. He moved all the way to Connecticut because of me... He was only staying because of me! But if he left because of me, why would he want to come back? Pam’s thoughts were running in circles.



Michael opened his mouth as if about to speak again, but Pam just couldn’t take any of the Great Michael Scott’s wisdom right now. If he wouldn’t leave she would. “Um, it’s my lunch break.” She said quietly, and grabbing a small brown paper bag from under her desk, she made a run for the break room.



xXxXxXxXx



Earlier, when Kelly had asked Pam to go out for drinks that night, Pam had wanted to say no. But Kelly kept on going on and on about “We don’t need guys! We’ll have a girls night out!”. Apparently Ryan had ditched Kelly again, and while Pam was partly going just to appease Kelly, she also knew that going out more would be good for her. Most nights she stayed home and drew or watched The Daily Show. And apparently Jim was going out. So yeah, maybe she really could use a girls night out!



After four cosmos, Kelly had become Pam’s new best friend. “You know,” Pam said, not realizing how loudly she was speaking, “I mean, who- we don’t need guys! They’re, they’re just so…so dumb!” Kelly began giggling uncontrollably, but Pam only became more righteous. “They’re all ‘Uh, maybe we like you but maybe we don’t, we don’t know because we’re dumb and we move away and hook up with girls named Karen’…” Pam ranted, dropping her voice as low as she could for her impersonation of a “guy”.



“I know!” Kelly screeched as Pam took another sip of her cosmopolitan. “I mean, Ryan should be so lucky to have me! I’m pretty, and nice and I’m so good at listening to people!” Pam nodded vigorously in agreement. “Guys don’t deserve us! They‘re just like big- big smelly gorillas!” Kelly cried, as if she had had an epiphany.



“Sexy gorillas sometimes though.” Pam admitted.



“Okay, well, sometimes, but most of the time they’re just smelly and dumb!” Kelly continued. “I am totally done with guys!” She announced, clumsily flicking her hair over her shoulder.



“Hear hear!” Pam laughed, clinked the edge of her glass with Kelly’s and unconsciously sloshing some of her drink on her skirt.



“I should totally become a lesbian or something!” Kelly said triumphantly.



“What?”



Kelly reconsidered. “Okay, maybe not a lesbian. But I will never again sit around waiting for Ryan to call me! And- and when we hang out next time- if we ever hang out again!- it‘s going to be with my friends, not his!” Pam toasted this with another sip of her drink. She had taken her barrette out of her hair, her headache was gone( for the time being) and she was feeling much better.



“Kelly?”



“Yeah?”



“I’m drunk.”



“Me too!”



Pam giggled, taking another sip of her drink “You know,” she whispered secretively “I talked to Jim on the phone.”



“Ohmigod, seriously?!” Kelly gasped, leaning forward “You have to tell me everything!” She squealed with delight at the new gossip. “I always knew you guys were toootally mean to be together, I mean, everyone could see it!”



“Everyone except me apparently!” Pam sighed, exasperated. “Well anyway, so in May or something, he tells me he’s totally in love with me, and he kisses me right?” Kelly’s eyes grew wide. “And so, I’m so surprised and everything and I didn’t know what to do, so I told him I was marrying Roy.”



“You didn’t!” Kelly pressed one of her hands to her chest, the other one resting on the bar for support.



“I did!” Pam confirmed. “But then later I realized what I had done, because Jim and I are so perfect for each other, so I ended it with Roy!”



“You ended it with Roy for Jim?!” Kelly now made an almost comical sight, her normally perfect hair slightly mussed with the bun falling to the side, her eyes as big as saucers and her mouth hanging slightly ajar.



Pam sat up proudly. “Yes I did! And now I am an independent woman! Like that song, with that Clarkson girl who’s all…independent.” Her voice trailed off. She tossed her hair over her shoulder, almost losing her balance in the process. “Whoa!” she giggled, realizing that she would probably have to take a taxi home or something.



“But what about Jim?” Kelly asked, still intensely focused on Pam’s story. As much as Kelly talked about herself, she still found other people’s lives far more interesting than her own. Pam guessed that was the reason for the stacks of tabloids that were hidden in Kelly’s desk drawers.



“Oh yeah.” Pam leaned her elbow on the bar, but removed it quickly when it landed in something sticky. Brushing at her sweater, she continued “I was way too scared to call him! I thought he must hate me!”



“Why, because you didn’t immediately leave your relationship of 10 years for him?” Kelly asked incredulously.



“I don’t know!” Pam groaned. “I mean, I guess I kind of already knew how he felt, but what was I supposed to do?!”



“Ugh! Guys only ever think about themselves!” Kelly huffed, still indignant. “He just totally expects you to up and drop everything for him!”



Pam shrugged. “But anyway, I never called him and now he’s seeing some girl named Karen,” Pam all but spat out her name. “And I accidentally talked to him a few weeks ago and it was so great and then he called me drunk and I think he’s still mad but he doesn’t remember what he said so I didn’t tell him and it’s all a mess.” Pam started to get weepy and overwhelmed just thinking about all of it.



“Karen is such a bad name.” Kelly said sympathetically, pulling a tissue from out of her purse.



“Really?” Pam accepted the tissue gratefully.



“Yup.” Kelly nodded seriously. “I have never met a Karen that I liked.”



Pam felt relieved at even this small bit of comfort. “That is so good!” She smiled, happier now. “Anyway, Jim might be coming back to Scranton! But I’m scared he’s staying away because of me.”



“Ohmigod Pam, Jim was completely in love with you! You don’t get over that in a few months! He totally won’t be able to stay away.” Kelly leaned over the bar, plucking a few maraschino cherries out from behind it. “Hey Pam?” Kelly asked, popping one of the cherries into her mouth.



“Mmhm?”



“Do you think Ryan loves me as much as I love him?”



Pam thought on this for a moment. She knew even though she was drunk, she wouldn’t lie. Or maybe because she was drunk she wouldn’t lie. But she when realized the answer, it surprised even herself. “You know, I think he really does, but he just doesn’t know it.” Pam said, nodding her head sagely.



“Really?!” Kelly grinned. “Ohmigod, I’m so happy you think so!” She held up her cosmo in salute, and Pam brought hers up to meet Kelly’s as they clinked their almost empty glasses yet again.



xXxXxXxXx



Pam slumped into her couch, closing her eyes as she listened to the taxi pull out of her driveway. Now comes the hard part, she thought to herself. She wanted to call him. She wanted to call him and tell him that he shouldn’t stay away because of her. That he should come for her, that she would be ready this time. But somehow she knew that his now broken self-confidence wouldn’t let him believe her, that he would just blame anything she claimed on her being drunk. She knew that although the alcohol maybe gave her the courage she needed to call, it certainly didn’t give her any feelings that weren’t already rooted and thriving. But he just wouldn’t believe her.



I guess drunk dialing is contagious, Pam smiled to herself. She giggled as she remembered their bittersweet, late-night conversation, how silly he had been. And how sad. She surprised herself with how much she missed his voice, and she had almost forgotten how good he was at making her laugh. I’ll probably just sound like an idiot, she considered, staring at the cell phone in her hands.



Finally, she shook her head. No, she decided, even as her drunken heart protested. This needs to be his decision. Resigned, she carelessly let the phone roll from her fingers and down onto the carpet. She laid her muddled head down on the couch as she curled into a ball and fell into a restless sleep. She dreamed of him.

AN: Reviews are like oxygen to me! So imagine how uncomfortable I’ll be if you don’t review!

Pam awoke the day after “Girls Night Out” with the headache from hell. No more “Girls Night Out” again, ever! she thought to herself pitifully. It took her a minute to take in her surroundings and realize that she had fallen asleep on her couch. When she saw her cell phone lying on the carpet, she felt a mixture of relief and sadness. She hadn’t made a fool of herself, but now Jim might never come back to Scranton. As if she could have convinced him on sheer, drunken willpower anyway.



She shook her head, trying to rid herself of all thoughts of him, but she immediately regretted moving at all as her head began to pound more furiously. Glancing at the clock, she could at least be happy about the fact that she had woken up early enough to get a shower before work. Heaving herself up, she stumbled towards the bathroom, her eyes still half-closed.



xXxXxXxXx



Pam could swear that the fluorescent lights of the office were installed for the specific purpose of punishing anyone with a hangover. Now she knew why Meredith always looked so pained in the morning. Even the smallest noise sounded like a thunderclap, exploding at the base of her skull and resonating through her head.



Pam readied herself as Kelly walked in, worried somehow that the other woman would be as bright and chipper as every other morning. To Pam’s relief, it appeared that even Kelly was not immune to hangovers, evident with the bags under her eyes and the way she mumbled her answers to any question.



“PAM! PAM PAM! PAM!” Michael shouted, sneaking up and banging on Pam’s desk. Of all his interpretations of her name, Pam now decided that the Bam-Bam one was definitely the worst. In fact, she had decided it was the most obnoxious, excruciating thing anyone had ever done in the entire history of the world. Pam was torn between simply curling up and cradling her head in her hands, or stabbing Michael in the eye with a pencil.



Michael remained blissfully ignorant of Pam’s rather gruesome thoughts. “Any messages pour moi?” he asked in an atrocious French accent. Pam supposed it was supposed to be alluring; it just made him sound like his tongue was swollen.



She shuffled through the papers on her desk, finally removing two. “Just a fax and a message from Jan for you to call her.” she said quietly, hoping he would follow her example. But then again, Michael had never really been much for picking up on any signals.



“Goody good good…” he muttered to himself, quickly scanning the fax with his eyes and reading the message more thoroughly. “Better jump on this!” he said to Pam, indicating the note. “Jan in an impatient woman. Something I love about her.” he confided, drumming his fingers on Pam’s desk before finally waltzing into his office.



Pam sighed with relief to finally be rid of Michael, but looked up again only to see Kelly approaching her desk. “Hey Pam!” she smiled, her voice a whisper of it’s usual volume. Pam smiled back, laughing a little bit in sympathy.



“You sure feel it in the morning, don’t you?” Pam said, resting her chin in her hands.



“Oh, totally.” Kelly agreed as she started to roll her eyes, but then decided against it seeing as when she had tried it a few minutes before it had caused little fireworks in her head. “Definitely worth it though! Last night was so much fun!” Pam agreed, but slightly less enthusiastically. “Anyway, I have the most awesome surprise for you.” Kelly said, smiling secretively.



“What?” Pam asked curiously, furrowing her eyebrows. Something told her that whatever was an ‘awesome surprise’ to Kelly might not be so awesome to Pam.



Kelly bounced on her toes, excited to the point where she almost forgot about her hangover. “Well, I got home last night, and I was totally bored! I couldn’t fall asleep like, at all, so I decided to watch ‘Laguna Beach’, which is a great show by the way. Then I called Ryan a few times, but he didn’t pick up, but then, I had this awesome, awesome idea. See, I was remembering everything you told me last night, so…” Pam felt her stomach slowly sinking, as if she knew what Kelly was about to say. “I called Jim!” She said brightly, looking like a proud four year old.



Pam couldn’t even speak. “W-what?! I… I don’t even- what did you-?” Pam stopped herself, realizing she had yet to form a coherent sentence. She took a deep breath. “What did you say to him?”



Kelly was too busy patting herself on the back for her awesome match-making abilities to notice the look of horror on Pam’s face. “I told him he needs to get over himself and get his ass back to Scranton! I mean, he was totally unfair to you, putting you in that position-”



“Kelly, I had been flirting with Jim without realizing it for months, even years. Maybe sometimes I did realize it. It certainly wasn’t news to hear how he felt about me.” Pam’s fingers gripped the edge of her desk until her knuckles turned white. “I led him along and-and tortured him! We were supposed to be best friends and I treated him horribly. He had a right to ask anything he wanted of me, and the last thing he needs to hear right now is that he’s supposed to be feeling guilty for me-”



“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Kelly interrupted. “Pam, you’re just way too hard on yourself sometimes! Okay, maybe both of you can shoulder some of the blame. But you’re single now, and he’s single…do the math!”



“He’s not single.” Pam said softly.



Kelly scoffed. “Who, this Karen girl? She’s just a total rebound because he’s trying to get over you! Pam, I‘ve seen how you two act around each other, and you’re just like me and Ryan! You’re meant to be!”



Pam wouldn’t exactly compare herself and Jim to Kelly and Ryan, but she did feel remotely better. “How’d he sound?”



“I don’t really remember…” Kelly said, squinting her eyes and pursing her lips as she tried to recall. “I think I did a lot of the talking.”



Pam giggled a little at that. Just then, Michael came barging out of his office, obviously excited. Either he’s got really big news or he’s just eaten a whole bunch of sugar, Pam thought to herself.



“My loyal employees!” Michael said, grinning from ear to ear. “As you may know, we are going to be absorbing the Stamford branch, and-”



Dwight shot from his desk to stand on Michael’s right side. “Much in the way that a predator will consume a smaller animal and then feed off of it’s energy, we will consume the Stamford staff-”



Michael cut him off. “Just, shut up Dwight, shut up.” he said angrily. “You’re just stealing my thunder.” Dwight looked duly ashamed and reclaimed his seat while Michael continued. “Anyway, we are going to be receiving some of the Stamford staff, and I think you’ll all be happy to know…” Pam sat up in her seat and started to listen. “That our very own Jim Halpert will be returning to our branch!”



Pam inhaled sharply and covered her mouth. She tried to regain her composure when she noticed Phyllis watching her, but when Pam saw the understanding look on Phyllis’ face, and the smile that lurked in the corners of her mouth, Pam couldn’t help but smile back. Kelly bounced up and down while clapping her hands, thrilled that her plan worked. Dwight began to pound his desk and declare this decision “outrageous!”, while demanding to speak to Michael about it in private.



Pam just looked down at her clasped hands, and at her bare left ring finger. She didn’t realize it, but she was grinning like a fool.



xXxXxXxXx



Jim entered his front door, closed it behind him and leaned against it heavily, his eyes closed and his face turned skyward. His hands felt greasy from the popcorn at the movie theatre, and he went to his kitchen sink to wash them.



He couldn’t help but think that he had never felt like this after spending time with Pam. When he was with Pam, he never tired of her company, or thought of someone else. Stop it, stop it, STOP IT! Jim told himself furiously, splashing some water on his face. He just couldn’t keep comparing Karen to Pam, it simply wasn’t fair.



And for all intents and purposes, he and Karen should get along really well. And to be honest, they did. She laughed at all the right times, and she didn’t talk to much during the movie. When he had dropped her off and she had invited him in for some coffee and he had declined, she didn’t push it.



But while her sarcastic quips had made him smile, and sometimes grin, she had never made him laugh out loud. When he laughed genuinely, his eyes opened wide as if he was surprised by his own response, and his laughter came from deep in his diaphragm, causing his stomach muscles to clench. But Karen had yet to make him laugh like that.



Despite this, he was not ready to give up on their relationship. She had already said she was coming to Scranton. He couldn’t admit to himself that he was using her, using her as armor from what awaited him in that office in Pennsylvania.



Jim wandered over to his kitchen counter, and glanced at the calendar on the wall. There was day, a week from that night, that was circled with a red sharpie, like you saw sometimes in the movies. Always counting down to some kind of apocalypse, some kind of enormous change. He hadn’t written down what was to happen that day, because he needed no reminder. He didn’t even need the calendar, really; his mind was obsessively following the passage of time between then and “The Day” that was still a week away.



XXxXxXxXx



Roy sat in his living room (what used to be their living room), sipping on a beer. He had sat down with the intention of watching the football game that was now blaring on the TV, but he instead found himself staring at the framed picture that was propped up on the table next to him. It was of him and Pam, and he couldn’t help but try to analyze it. Was her smile genuine, or forced? He had never taken the time to notice when they were together. He stared into her eyes, hoping they would reveal to him some kind of secret. Had she still loved him then? When had she stopped?



Roy was jerked from his contemplative state when his phone rang, the bars of his ringtone jumbled and confused when thrown into the football game’s loud commentary. He set down his beer and fumbled for a moment before he managed to slip his phone from his pocket. Seeing Darryl’s number, he picked up, muttering “What’s up?”



“Yo man,” Darryl said, something in his voice strained. “I got some news for you.”



“Darryl…” Roy said, exhausted “Not right now man, I gotta just-”



“Hey, hey, just listen up man.” Darryl took a breath. “I was getting’ some coffee from up in the office earlier, and I heard that Indian chick talking to her boy toy. Yo, Halpert made a move on your girl in May, on that casino night.” Roy felt his heart begin to pound as his jaw clenched. “I just can’t help but wonder if this has got anything to do with how your wedding went down.” Darryl sighed, not enjoying the fact that he had to be the one to deliver this news. He knew Roy was still in a shaky spot, and he had really liked Pam. But it just wasn’t cool for a girl to play his boy like that.



“Roy?” Darryl asked after Roy hadn’t spoken for a minute. “I hear Halpert’s coming back in a week. You want me to get some of the guys together talk to him?”



Roy knew what Darryl meant by that, but something about just having some of his friends rough up Jim wasn’t satisfactory. Roy had trusted Jim, trusted him to take care of his fiancé. And he had abused that. “That’s okay Darryl.” Roy said in a startlingly monotone voice. “I’ll think of something.”

Creed stood outside Dunder-Mifflin’s entrance, smoking a cigarette. The biting wind snapped at his flimsy jacket, trying to find a way through the weave and to his skin. He ignored it, simply ashing his cigarette into the air. He’d been smoking ever since he was 15, and in the 60’s and 70’s there were a lot worse things you could do than smoke. And since he’d already done those things, and lived anyway, he figured to hell with it. His glory days were past, but smoking was still one small thing he could take pleasure in.



His eyes narrowed as he took a drag and he watched a car pull into the parking lot. The driver was nearly half an hour late, but Creed could hardily blame them. It took everything he had to come back to this place every morning. He was surprised to see that the driver was that young man who had left a while back, Jack or Tim or something. Creed wasn’t very good with names. Once you got old, you began to prioritize things more and for him, names just weren’t at the top of his list.



“Hey Creed!” The man smiled as he walked up to Creed, adjusting his messenger bag on his shoulder.



“Hey there…you.” Creed replied, thin lips pulled back into a smile. Ah, he remembered now. It was that young guy, Jim. The boy who loved the receptionist. The one who was moping all the time now. Creed was often far more perceptive than he let on; he found it was easier to be underestimated than to have people expect things from you. “Where’ve you been again?”



Jim smiled wryly. He wasn’t shocked that Creed didn’t know where he’d been. In fact, Jim was basically satisfied with the fact that Creed didn’t think that Jim was his long lost son or something. “I transferred to Stamford for a while, but now I’m back I guess.” He winced a little bit as Creed unconsciously blew smoke in his face.



“Ah.” Creed didn’t even try to feign interest.



“Well…see you up there.” Jim said. He was pretty sure this was the longest conversation he and Creed had ever had.



Just as Jim was about to pass Creed and enter the building, Creed clapped a hand on his shoulder, stopping him for a moment. “Hey, kiddo,” he said “She missed you. A lot.”



Jim felt his stomach twist in a way that had become all too familiar ever since he had met Pam. He had felt it every time he looked into her eyes or heard her voice. God, his stomach did back flips when he heard her laugh. He didn’t even reply to Creed. He just nodded, surprised at the depth of understanding that lay in the older man’s eyes. Then, Jim turned and entered the glass doors of Dunder-Mifflin, Scranton branch.



xXxXxXxXx



Pam sneezed, and moaned softly in misery. Of all the days to have cold. And not just any old cold that was hanging about. This was the mother of all colds. When Satan got a cold, it was this cold. All the other colds were too afraid of him, but this cold was downright ballsy.



Pam giggled a little bit at the mental image of Satan curled up in his bed in hell with tissues strewn across his room, but her momentary relief was quickly interrupted by three sneezes in a row. Her nose was raw from blowing it, and she didn’t have to look in a mirror to know that she looked awful.



“Wow, Pam, you look awful!” Kelly gasped in horror, confirming Pam’s suspicious.



“Thanks Kelly.” Pam said weakly. She would just take a sick day, but she was running low. She wanted to save up for a time when she was really sick. And also, quite honestly, she just wanted to see Jim. She wanted to see him so badly her heart physically ached. Even if she looked awful, she just needed to see him, to touch him. Just one more time, even if she didn’t deserve it.



Kelly became all business. “Okay, we need to make an emergency makeup-reapplying trip, stat. C’mon, girls room, now! Go, go, go!” Kelly raised her voice, much like a drill sergeant. Pam got up, startled, and stumbled towards the bathroom, if only to make Kelly be quiet. Kelly followed, grabbing her purse from her desk.



Pam opened the bathroom door, Kelly right behind her, only to walk straight into Karen. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry!” Pam said, startled. Of all the people to totally embarrass herself in front of.



“Oh, it’s okay.” Karen said, laughing a little. She liked Pam; they had been introduced earlier by Michael. Karen almost hadn’t believed Jim when he had described Michael, but now that she had seen him in the flesh, she realized that Jim had described him to a T. Now she wished Jim had been exaggerated. Karen noticed Pam’s pale face and red nose. “Hey, are you feeling okay?”



Pam flushed. “Um, I just have a really awful cold.” The cold decided this would be an opportune time to make her sneeze. And she did, several times. “Ugh,” Pam groaned, managing to smile wryly. “See? Worst cold ever.”



“Well, I hope you feel better.” Karen offered, trying to seem comforting. She didn’t know what it was, but something about Pam made her feel… off-center. She didn’t want to say threatened, but it was close to that. All the same, she was a really nice girl.



“Thanks.” Pam said, her voice muffled by the tissue she held to her nose.



Kelly stood with her arms crossed over her chest, looking at Karen with a hint of hostility. “Oh, I’m sorry,” Pam apologized again. “I don’t think you two have been introduced yet. Karen, this is Kelly. Kelly, this is Karen.”



“Hi.” Karen smiled genially, offering her hand to Kelly. Kelly took it with the utmost distain, using just the tips of her fingers.



“Hello.” Kelly replied curtly. “Excuse us, we need to get to the mirror.” Karen looked a little confused at the coldness in Kelly’s voice, but she stepped aside and let the girls pass before she exited the bathroom.



Pam elbowed Kelly in the ribs. “You don’t have to be mean to her!” she exclaimed. “Karen hasn’t done anything wrong.”



“Pam!” Kelly cried, aghast at Pam’s ignorance. “Karen is the enemy! You can’t fall for her tricks!”



“I don’t think she’s playing any tricks, Kelly-”



Pam was interrupted as Phyllis exited one of the stalls. “Who’s playing tricks?” she asked, an unusual hint of excitement to her voice. Phyllis wasn’t exactly one for gossip, but she did love girl talk. A normally quiet woman, Phyllis couldn’t resist talk of crushes and boyfriends. It made her feel like she was in high school again.



Before Pam could stop her, Kelly was off and running. “Well,” she started “Jim’s totally coming back today, and it’s like him and Pam’s big reunion! But, now, he’s dating some hussy,” (a word that Kelly had learned from Angela) “So now Jim and Pam can’t be together like they’re totally meant to be!”



Pam flushed with utter embarrassment, but Phyllis’ face lit up. “Oh my goodness!” She exclaimed. “You know,” she confessed to Pam “I always thought you and Jim belonged together. Such nice kids, and it was obvious how much he cared about you. Not like that Roy. And that Karen girl is far too skinny anyway.”



Pam stared hard at her shoes, biting her lip. Phyllis saw the look on her face, and realized maybe she had overstepped her bounds with the comment about Roy. “Oh, I’m sorry dear, I just…”



“No, no, you’re right.” Pam said in an almost whisper. She sniffled, hoping that the other women would simply chalk it up to her cold. She lifted her head and forced a smile. “Hey, aren’t we supposed to be getting me ready for my big entrance?” Phyllis clapped her hands happily while Kelly began rummaging through her massive bag.



“Okay, first of all, we are going to need loads of cover up!” Kelly grinned, and Pam simply closed her eyes, preparing herself as Kelly started doing what she did best.



AN: I know, me and my cliff hangers! Well,  the more reviews I get, the quicker I post chapters, and the quicker that Jim and Pam finally get down to business!

I feel like I use italics the most whenever Kelly's talking. It's just the way that she is.