Pam sighed, pushing her hair out of her eyes. It was in a loose bun, which had all but come undone after a day of chasing around kids. She looked at the last two kids left in her room. A boy with sandy brown hair and green eyes was painting in the corner. A younger girl with curls was drawing with crayons on one of the desks.
“‘Kay guys, time to go home,” she said, smiling at her children.
“Done grading? Everyone get an A?” the boy, Alex, asked.
“You trying to see what your friends made?” Pam joked, tickling him as he walked by.
Pam loved her job as an art teacher at the local elementary school. Once her kids started school there, it made it even better. She was able to both work, but still be close by to her children. And after school, they always hung out in her classroom. Both of them had inherited their mother’s love of art. Days like this however, made days back at Dunder Mifflin seem great. She had 3 periods with tests, while the other classes were running around, not doing what they were supposed to do. Normally, it would be bearable. That was part of being a teacher. Today, though, she couldn’t wait until she was able to relax at home. It was Thursday, which meant that Jim would be cooking dinner tonight. She had the night off, and couldn’t wait to just relax.
Alex and Sophie led the way to the car. Sophie, just five years old, was skipping and chattering the whole way. Pam always thinks that Sophie is what Jim must have been like as a child, bubbly, always moving, talking, and mischievous. Alex was more like Pam herself, quiet and introverted, however, he seemed unaffected (at least so far) by the constant self-doubt that had plagued herself for much of her childhood… of course, he was only ten and had yet to hit the brutal teen years. Pam involuntarily shivers at that thought.
The drive home was uneventful, Sophie still chattering, Alex lost in thought, and Pam planning her evening alone. She was so grateful they had started having this alternating nights off thing. It had started when Alex was a baby. Jim had just started back at work (still at Dunder Mifflin, before he found a job he really loved being a manager at a local bookstore. He always joked he was still working with paper, but Pam knew he loved this job). Pam had been alone with a colicky Alex all day, and couldn’t take it anymore. When Jim came home, Alex was screaming, and Pam was crying, unable to comfort Alex. Jim took Alex, and forced Pam to get out of the house, take a night off. It had grown since then, evolving as their family grew. Now it was basically just two guilt free nights off – to relax, to go out with friends, to sit and watch TV. Anything except help with homework, do laundry, make dinner. And of course, every other week they made sure that both of them had a night off, hired a babysitter, and they went on a real date. Their marriage was far from perfect, but those nights had really helped them get through some rough patches.
As Pam pulled into the garage, she was surprised that Jim’s car wasn’t there. It was close to 6 o’clock; normally he would already be starting dinner. Oh well, must be picking up something from the store, Pam thought, shrugging off the worried feeling. She could start her relaxing when Jim came back; he had to be back soon.
However, Jim wasn’t back by 7, and the kids were starting to whine. Pam had called his cell and gotten no answer. She was starting to panic. It wasn’t like Jim to be this late and not call. And he always answered his cell. Pam tried to contain her worry as she made something for dinner.
“When is daddy getting back?” Sophie kept asking.
“Soon, sweetie. Soon, I am sure,” Pam kept answering.
When the phone rang at 7:15, Pam nearly jumped out of her skin. She ran to answer it.
“Jim?” she asked, not even looking at the caller ID.
“No, ma’am, this is Doctor Stephens, from Mercy Hospital. Your husband, Jim, was brought in this evening after being in a car accident.”
Pam gasps, feeling her knees giving out. Alex looks at his mom, worried, and leads her over to a chair.
“The accident was rather serious. I would come here as soon as you can,” Dr. Stephens continued, rather unemotional.
“Okay,” Pam hangs up, unable to hear any more. She doesn’t even feel as if she can talk, nonetheless move.
Alex and Sophie look at her questioningly. “Mommy?” Sophie asks, putting her small hand on top of Pam’s.
More than a minute passes before Pam can answer. “Your daddy was in an accident. We are going to go visit him, so, everybody, lets get our jackets on.” She puts an artificial smile on her face, trying to keep the fear she feels inside.
Sophie runs off, not understanding the seriousness. Alex, always the observant one, says, “Its bad, isn’t it?”
Pam nods. Alex was wise beyond his years. She feels a tear escape down her cheek, and wipes it away. “Come on now, let’s get our jackets.”
Pam broke quite a few traffic laws speeding to the hospital. She really isn’t sure how she arrived there in one piece, because her mind was not on driving at all. All she could think about was Jim. Parking the car as quickly as she could, she grabbed one child with each hand and dragged them into the hospital lobby.
Finding reception, Pam started asking questions as fast as she could, “Hello, my husband was in a car accident. Dr. Stephens just called. Oh, his name is Jim. Jim Halpert. My husband that is. I don’t know anything more. Oh, God, he has to be okay. Where is his room? Who is his doctor? What is going on?” The questions tumbled out of her, unable to keep her emotions in check any longer.
The worker at the desk was very calm. “Halpert you said? H-A-L-P-E-R-T?” Pam nods. “Okay, he is still in surgery. Dr. Evans is the surgeon, don’t worry, he is one of the best. I will page Dr. Stephens to tell you more. You can have a seat over there,” she says, motioning to the waiting area.
Pam walks slowly over, drained of all emotion. Alex tries to entertain his younger sister; Sophie just plays without caring where she is.
A few minutes later, there is a man standing in front of her, “Mrs. Halpert?” he asks.
Standing up, she replies, “Yes?”
“I’m Dr. Stephens, lets go talk,” and gestures to further down the hall.
Pam is sick with worry, but follows him to a private room. A nurse comes, and takes Alex and Sophie to a play area. She nods to Alex to say its okay.
“The car accident was serious. The police said that a drunk driver hit your husband’s car. It caused a pretty large pile up, and unfortunately, your husband was at the worst of it.”
Pam shudders, unable to concentrate on anything. She keeps hearing the word accident over and over in her head.
“When the police were finally able to get to him, he was unconscious and pretty banged up. His legs and arms were both broken, and there was severe bleeding. The ambulance was able to stabilize him enough to get to the hospital, and get him into surgery. However,” Dr. Stephens pauses. He always hated this part. Even after being a doctor for 15 years, it never gets any easier.
Pam could feel herself breaking. She didn’t want to hear what was next.
Dr. Stephens takes a deep breath, and continues, “However, there was too much bleeding. They couldn’t stop it fast enough. He had lost too much blood and there was too much damage. I am sorry, he died on the operating table.”
Pam collapses into herself, sobs racking her body. “No, no, no, this can’t be true. Jim!” She says, between sobs.
“I’m sorry,” Dr. Stephens says, unable to comfort her. “Is there anything I can do, anyone I can call?”
Pam shakes her head, unable to think. She mumbles off something about her mother.
Dr. Stephens leaves, goes to try to call the mother. Pam sits there for a while longer, unable to move, just sobbing. Every once in a while, she gets up enough strength to cry out “Jim” in hopes that calling his name would undo everything.
Pam’s mom arrives there soon. She had moved closer to be with her grandchildren. She says hello to her grandchildren first. Alex is sitting on one of the seats, trying to act natural and thumbing through a magazine. He knows something is wrong. He has guessed that his dad died, but hasn’t allowed the thought to fully form. He fears, if he actually thinks it, if he actually says it, it would cause it to be true. Sophie was curled up, asleep on the chair next to him. Her energy had given out soon after Pam left. Pam’s mom gave them both a kiss, and told them she would be back. She found Pam alone in the room, curled up, helpless. Her tears had long since run dry, and she had no energy left. It was as if, now that Jim was gone, part of Pam had died too. She pulled Pam up, and held her close.
“He’s gone,” Pam says, her voice barely above a whisper.
“I know,” her mom responds, kissing her head.
