"Okay, you want me to do what?"
"I knew you'd understand, Jimbo," Michael said, smiling broadly from behind his desk. "I mean it's all about giving our girls what they want, right?"
Jim ran his hand through his hair as he sat across from Michael. It was Wednesday afternoon, and when Michael called him into his office Jim had mistakenly thought Michael wanted to talk about something work-related. When was he ever going to learn that work was always the last thing on Michael's mind?
"Wait," Jim put his hand up, hoping that maybe asking Michael to say it all again would somehow have it make more sense. "Let me get this straight. You want me to propose to Pam at the coal museum on Sunday. This Sunday?"
"Yes, and it's going to be perfect!" Michael's eyes were already dancing with excitement. "Then after you propose, I will pretend to be swept up in the romance of moment, which of course will all be carefully planned, and I will propose to Jan."
Jim crossed his arms over his chest. "One tiny problem with that plan, though."
"What? You have plenty of time to get a ring. A diamond ring, of course, as diamonds are nothing but highly compressed lumps of coal! See why this is such a perfect idea? Give her a diamond at a COAL museum! I bet this sort of thing happens there everyday."
"Diamonds are pure carbon, which isn't exactly the same as coal," Jim said, knowing full well that Michael wasn't listening. "The problem, Michael," he said louder, "is that I don't want to propose to Pam in a coal museum this Sunday. Or any Sunday, to be honest."
"You're going to propose to her at some point, right? I mean it's a given that it's simply a matter of time - how could you NOT want to marry her after everything? And I would think you'd want to move quick, because those boobs aren't going to look that good forever, and I -"
"Michael," Jim warned. There were only so many references to Pam's breasts Jim could handle from Michael Scott, and his boss had filled that quota ages ago. "Proposing to Pam is really not something I want to do as a public event, if you don't mind." Jim stood up, hoping to put an end to this horrifying conversation. His only consolation was knowing Pam would find it as cringe worthy as he did. "I appreciate the offer, though."
Michael's face fell. "You have to Jim. I've already told Jan you were going to."
Jim stopped immediately. "You did what?"
"I had to," Michael replied quickly, "I couldn't get her to the coal museum any other way."
"And that wasn't a hint that maybe proposing at a place she didn't even want to go to was a bad idea?"
"Well, she doesn't know I'm going to propose!" Michael explained. "Of course she'd want to go if she knew about that part. Are you sure you understand how to propose to Pam? Because I would be glad to offer my services and advice, Jimbag. You know I'm here for you."
Jim sighed. He just needed to get out of this office. "No, I've got everything under control. But thanks." He opened Michael's door, and saw Pam look up at him from behind her desk. Freedom was so close at hand.
"Okay, if you say so," Michael replied, clearly unimpressed. "So remember, meet us at the entrance at two on Sunday afternoon."
~%~%~%~%~
Somehow Jim managed to keep his conversation with Michael to himself all through the rest of the afternoon, despite Pam's emails and IMs asking him what Michael wanted. Jim assured her it was nothing to worry about, and he promised full disclosure just as soon as they left work for the day. For her part, Pam was willing to wait, but couldn't help teasing him with questions to help make the afternoon go faster. She surprised him by not asking a single question about it during the car ride home, home that evening being Pam's apartment, but as soon as they were through her front door she pulled him down onto the couch, demanding kisses and answers.
Her eyes widened larger than he thought he'd ever seen them. "You have GOT to be kidding me, Jim," she whispered.
"Oh, I wish I was."
She put her hand in front of her mouth for a moment, and her gaze fell unfocused across the living room. He had seen that look before, and he knew an idea had just struck.
"Out with it, Pam," Jim grinned. "What are you thinking?"
She turned her eyes back to his, and smiled broadly. "How likely do you think it is that Jan's going to appreciate being proposed to in an anthracite coal museum?"
"My guess is not very."
"Right, mine too. And for as crazy as it looks on paper, the last thing I think we want to happen is to have those two break up because he proposed too soon." Pam reached absentmindedly for Jim's tie, curling it around her finger as she laid out her idea. "So the problem we have is not how do we get you out of proposing to me, but how do we keep Michael distracted enough so that he forgets to propose to Jan?"
Jim smiled and he pulled Pam closer to him. "I like how you think, Beesly."
She tugged on his tie. "Not that I want to be proposed to there either, you understand."
He kissed her. "I never had any intention of proposing to you in an anthracite coal museum. With or without Michael Scott present."
"I felt confident you didn't," she grinned, "but thought it worth mentioning."
"So how do you plan on distracting him?"
"I just happen to have a friend who works as a volunteer for the museum, actually..."
~%~%~%~%~
By the time Sunday afternoon arrived, Jim had informed Michael on five separate occasions - including an early morning call that very day - that no, he was not going to be proposing to Pam at the coal museum. It was just not going to happen. He did assure Michael that he and Pam would be at the museum at two, and after a bit more discussion, Michael seemed satisfied that it would be enough.
"But be sure to act like you might just propose at any moment," Michael encouraged at the end the call.
Jim pulled his car into the parking lot at five minutes to two. The museum had been opened since noon, and there were at least ten cars there. Jim was reasonably impressed.
"Well, just remember that a few cars belong to the staff," Pam remarked. "But yeah, I expect most of their business is from school groups and senior centers."
"Kinda hitting both ends of spectrum, huh?" Jim laughed.
"You can see why it appealed to Michael, then." She replied.
Jim turned off the car and turned toward Pam. "So you're sure we're set?"
She nodded. "Absolutely. Taylor said that he and another volunteer from Eckley Miners' Village would be here today in costume to run the tours. All we need to do is tell the admissions desk that we are supposed to be part of his two-twenty tour and he'll take it from there."
"Two-twenty. Excellent. Let's go wait at the door."
They got out of the car and walked along the faded blacktop parking lot. When the reached the sidewalk that skirted the building, Jim grabbed Pam's hand, and stopped in front of the sculpture that was featured at the end of the building. They stood there for a minute, while Pam first read the inscription and then waited for Jim to let her know he was finished reading. When they continued to stand there in silence, Pam looked up at him, curiosity getting the better of her.
"Is there a reason you wanted to stop at this sculpture to mine cave-ins?" she asked. "I mean, it's certainly a catastrophe worth remembering, but...."
He looked at her, and she was momentarily concerned by the serious look on his face. "You know the objection I had to Michael's original plan today was about the location. Well, that and all the added company. The idea of proposing to you doesn't scare me at all."
"You know what, Jim?" She replied, squeezing his hand. "Just when I think you couldn't possibly be a bigger dork, you feel the need to say something like that."
She pulled his face down to hers and gave him a encouraging kiss. When she pulled back she was grinning again. "And I don't believe it doesn't scare you at all, either."
"It doesn't," he protested, his good humor restored. "I am just waiting for the right combination of things to be in order."
"Oh, like for our chakras to be in alignment during a full moon," she teased, pulling onward toward the entrance doors.
"Well, yeah, there's that, too," he laughed.
"Oh hush, here come Michael and Jan." Pam leaned into Jim as they watched the other couple approaching. "Just remember that when that time comes I will be grading you on presentation as well as quality of performance."
Jim's eyebrows raised but he was unable to respond to her comment because Michael had started shouting to them as he approached. Jan was already rolling her eyes, so Jim and Pam shared a look that said they understood that their first job was getting Jan in a better mood. Jim was not entirely hopeful that would happen because he doubted the museum had a bar and he'd already noticed the No Smoking sign posted clearly on the doors.
"Hi guys," Pam greeting in her best cheerful voice. Michael enveloped Pam in a hug like she was a long lost relative, and Jan did manage a smile.
"Are we ready for some fun?" Michael enthused.
"Oh, we certainly are," Jim replied, hoping his smile did not look as stilted as it felt.
Michael opened the door and let Pam, Jan and Jim. Pam made sure she arrived at the admissions counter first, asking for four adult tickets and telling the elderly woman behind the counter what Taylor had told her.
"Oh, you know Taylor, dear?" The woman smiled. "Now he's a lovely lad, isn't he?"
Jim paid for the tickets and handed two to Jan.
"Did you just pay for those, Jimbo?" Michael asked. "That was completely unnecessary, but thank you. I mean, you're probably going to want to start cutting back on unnecessary expenses so you can save for a wedding."
Jim gave Michael a warning look. "I mean, surely someday you'll get married," Michael added. Pam handed out the tour pamphlets as they wandered around the lobby.
"Now where do we want to start?" Michael asked.
"Oh, we just wait here, Michael," Pam replied. "I have us booked into the two-twenty tour with one of the historian guides."
"A guide? We don't need a guide!" He replied. "I'm sure we can manage to read the signs and go at our own pace. I mean, you never know when we might want to stop at one particular section and stay longer than the guide thinks we should. Guides are for babies," Michael complained.
"Michael, be nice," Jan scolded. "I'm sure it will be just fine."
"So what brings you here, Jan?" Pam asked.
Jan tried to smile at Pam, but it was clear it was a bit of an effort. "Michael has been talking about bringing me here for a while, though I really am not sure why. Coal mining history isn't exactly high on my list of things I need to know."
Pam couldn't help but laugh at Jan's candor. "I know what you mean. But sometimes it's just easier to agree than to have Michael keep coming up with reasons why you should do whatever it is he wants you to do."
Jan laughed. It was a rich authentic sound that Pam found very attractive, and made her feel like there was still so much more to this woman than she'd given her credit for. "You know exactly what I'm talking about," Jan told her.
"He means well," Pam replied.
"I know he does," Jan nodded, her voice softer. "I know he does."
A few moments later Pam saw her friend, dressed in the worn dingy clothes that made up his period costume as a coal miner from 1902. Taylor saw her and gave a little wave, and Pam walked over to speak with him. When she returned to their group Michael was still looking a bit grumpy.
"Who's that? The 'historian' guide?" When Michael made air quotes around the word "historian", Jim met Pam's glance and they both struggled not to grin at Michael's huffiness.
"Okay people," Taylor said loudly, moving to the center of the lobby. "Let's gather up for today's tour."
In addition to Pam, Jim, Michael and Jan, there were five other people ready to join the tour. Michael noticed this and pulled Jim aside. "How are we going to be able to propose when we are being herded around with all these other people?"
Jim put his hand on Michael's shoulder. "Relax. If you can't do it here, you can always do it afterwards. Or another day."
Taylor began his introduction speech as Michael thought about what Jim said. "We'll see," he shrugged, and moved closer to Taylor so he could try and stare him down. Jim looked over at Pam and shook his head slightly, so she moved next to him and looped her arm through his. They had done what they could to avoid the disaster, and hoped Taylor would be able to do the rest.
They were about to start walking toward the first exhibit room when Taylor suddenly stopped and faced his audience. "I almost forgot," Taylor said, "There are so many things to tell you and point out that I usually find it very helpful to have an assistant on this journey." He looked briefly at all nine faces in front of him, then outstretched his arm toward Michael.
"You look like the kind of man I can rely on to help guide this tour. Are you up for it?"
It was almost possible to actually see the excitement glowing off Michael's face. "I should think so, kind sir! I would be delighted to assist!" Michael walked forward and put his arm around Taylor's shoulders. "Where do we begin?"
Taylor glanced over to Pam, his eyes telling her how very much she now was indebted to him. She smiled with slight embarrassment and eye rolling, mouthing the tiniest "I'm sorry."
Jim just laughed and put his arm around Pam. He thought this might just turn out to be fun after all. And if not fun, at least a bit amusing.
As Taylor (and Michael) lead them through the first room, Jan came up and tugged on Pam's sleeve. She let Jim walk ahead while she turned to see what Jan wanted.
"You knew, didn't you?" Jan asked.
"Knew what?" She wasn't sure which part of Michael's crazy plan Jan might have been referring to.
"That he was planning to propose here. That's why you had the guide do something that would keep his attention focused."
Pam couldn't tell if Jan was angry or relieved, and figured it was safest just telling her the truth. Pam nodded guiltily. "I'm really sorry if I've messed things up."
Jan shook her head. "Messed things up? Do you think I want to be proposed to in a coal museum?" She gave Pam a small smile. "No, of course you didn't. That's why you had your friend step in."
Pam just stood there, not quite sure how friendly or forward she could be with Jan at this point. At least Jan didn't seem upset with Pam's interference.
Jan sighed. "Well, at least I dodged that bullet for today. Hopefully."
"He's probably not going to give up on the idea, you know," Pam finally said.
"I know," Jan said. "and as crazy as it sounds, I'm kind of hoping that he doesn't."
She looked across the room and saw Michael holding up a pieces of coal in each hand like they were pieces of the holy grail. She rolled her eyes a bit.
"But just not today."
Author's Chapter Notes:
It was actually kind of difficult writing from a prompt this time, but I enjoyed putting these two couples together!
Don't own 'em, probably never will. No copywrite infrigement intended.
Chapter End Notes:
If you ever get to Scranton, you really should visit the anthracite coal museum. You can find info about it here: http://www.anthracitemuseum.org/
time4moxie is the author of 77 other stories.
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