Saturday

"And then he passed out little illustrated pamphlets of the kama sutra!"

"No way!" Jim laughed as Pam nodded. "What did you do?"

"Well, I tried to get a good look at it before Toby took them away," she giggled.

Andy, standing alongside them, had finally had enough. After an hour of holding on to a pole in the middle of the beach with the two of them and being ignored, he seemed to forget all he learned in anger management and jerked his hand away dramatically, declaring, "I give up! Why don't you two just get a room already?" before storming off to join the others further on up the beach.

Pam and Jim looked at each other, then started laughing as they watched him go. They had been standing there as part of Michael's final Survivor Day challenge. After a day which involved a long bus trip to New Jersey (complete with sing-a-longs), walking over hot coals, watching Dwight accidentally set fire to Meredith, and running in terror from a dozen rats that Michael had somehow procured for the day (which got loose in the picnic area), it was kind of a relief to do the pole challenge. Everyone but Jim, Pam and Andy had been eliminated early, and now with Andy's mini-tantrum, it was down to just the two of them. As their laughter faded they both simultaneously realized this, and fell silent for a few minutes.

Finally she spoke. "Jim?"

"Yeah?"

"I've missed you."

He half smiled. "What do you mean? I've been back for months."

She sighed. "You know what I mean. We don't... do... this anymore."

Silence fell once more as Jim struggled with a reply. She was right, of course. This was actually the first real conversation they had had in months. He glanced up at the rest of their coworkers, seated about fifty feet away around some picnic tables. Andy was lying on the ground with his hands covering his face. Michael appeared to be attempting a card trick. Stanley was doing a crossword puzzle. Dwight was assessing the perimeter of their cordoned off area. Angela was just sitting there glaring. Ryan and Kelly were off on the sand, making out in clear view.

And Karen. Karen was seated with everyone else, but her gaze never seemed to leave Jim and Pam. Jim wasn't sure how to read her expression. Was it concern? Or jealousy, perhaps?

He shifted his feet uncomfortably. Finally, he spoke.

"Yeah."

That was the best he could come up with. Another long pause, and he added, "I've missed you too."

She smiled, but there was sadness in her expression. She leaned back against the pole, facing away from him.

"Sometimes I wish I could go back and change everything," she finally managed to say.

"How so?"

She turned back toward him, and suddenly found herself getting angry at his seemingly nonchalant question. "What do you mean 'how so'? This whole past year has been a disaster. I lost my best friend and the man I love. I..."

He cut her off quickly. "Look, Pam, I'm sorry, but I just can't talk about Roy right now, okay? We were having a nice conversation here and..."

"I wasn't talking about Roy!" she practically shouted, "I was talking about you. Are you really that blind?"

He stared at her, unabled to process what she had said. So she kept talking.

"I'm trying so hard to move on. I wish I could just get over it as easily as you did, but I can't. Every time I see you with her it feels like someone is punching my grief bone..."

He raised his eyebrows. Grief bone?

She answered his questioning look with a simple "Michael."

Then there was more silence. He just stood there, his heart thumping in his chest. He was quite literally speechless.

"Please say something," she somehow managed to say as her voice trembled.

"I... I'm sorry."

He would have liked to elaborate, but he just couldn't find the right words at the moment. He stood there with his mouth open, trying to formulate a reply.

Suddenly, he was bolted out of his trance by the feel of arms snaking around his waist from behind.

"Hey you," said Karen as she tightened her grip and rested her head against his back. After a moment she positioned herself next to him and smiled.

"Haven't you had enough of this game yet?"

Jim looked at Pam, who was staring off at the ocean, and replied, "Yes, as a matter of fact I have."

He let go of the pole. Karen was surprised. "Gee, you're easy! You didn't even put up a fight."

"No, I guess I didn't," he said, his eyes not leaving Pam.

Just then Michael came running down from the picnic area, screaming, "You let go! You let go! Pam wins! Pam wins!"

There was a flurry of activity as Michael placed a plastic tiara on Pam's head and thrust a Dundie into her hands. The rest of the group had gathered round but aside from Andy and Dwight they couldn't have been more disinterested.

It was Angela who said, "Michael, it's really late and we have a long ride ahead of us. Can we go now?"

They all walked back to the bus. Karen reached out to grab Jim's hand, and chattered about their plans together for the following day, a Sunday. Pam moved as far away from them as she could while they trekked. She didn't know what to make of Jim's non-reply to her confession, but her heart sank when she saw him laugh at something Karen said. She just wanted to be teleported back to Scranton so she could go home and start searching Monster.com and maybe find a new job within the next 36 hours so she wouldn't have to go back to work on Monday and face him again. Or at least maybe the bus could back over her and put her in a coma. Either option was appealing to her at this point.

But as they were getting on the bus, Jim must have found a way to extricate himself from Karen for a minute because he pulled her aside and whispered, "We have to continue our conversation. Later."

Pam nodded slowly, and was quickly jolted back to reality by Dwight taking roll and asking for her photo ID before she was allowed to board the bus. Once aboard, she went immediately to the back row and curled up near the window. She saw Jim and Karen sit down together somewhere in the middle of the bus, and then noticed all too late that Ryan and Kelly were seated across from her. Great, she thought, now I get to witness the two of them make out and/or fight the whole way home. Could this day get any better?

----
Monday Morning

Pam got into work before everyone else. She hadn't slept the night before and was full of nervous energy. She went into the kitchen to make some tea and then settled back down at her desk, while people started arriving for the work day.

Karen came in around 8:30. She seemed distracted and didn't even acknowledge Pam as she went to her desk. Pam felt the nervous ball in her stomach tighten a bit, and she tried to avoid looking in Karen's direction. But that proved to be difficult, since she could feel Karen's eyes scanning from the doorway to Pam's desk. So Karen was anticipating Jim's arrival as well.

Jim finally got there around 8:45. He just nodded to Pam as he passed by, and Karen immediately jumped up and approached him.

"Hey," she said, her voice flat.

"Hi," he replied, trying to smile.

"Where were you yesterday?" Her tone was accusatory.

"I was home. Why? I told you I wasn't feeling well."

"Yeah, I know. Which is why I stopped by last night, to make sure you were okay. You know, since you didn't actually answer your phone all day."

He just managed to utter a small, "Oh."

"So where were you?"

Jim sighed. He looked down at his computer screen, hoping that maybe Dwight would pepper spray him again and then he wouldn't have to have this conversation right now.

"Look, I will explain, but not here. Let's go out to lunch and we'll talk."

She stared at him intently. "No. Let's talk right now. Outside."

He simply nodded and followed her out the door, not even making eye contact with Pam, who immediately felt as though she may throw up and headed for the bathroom.

They didn't speak until they got to the edge of the parking lot, where Karen's car was parked. Finally, she asked, "What's going on?"

He took a deep breath. "Karen, I think that this isn't working out. I need... to end it."

Her lip was shaking as she spoke. "Is this about her?"

Jim looked down at the ground. He nodded ever so slightly, but he couldn't make himself look her in the eye.

"Why, Jim? Two days ago we were fine. Then you spend a couple hours with her and what happens? What did she say to you?"

Jim finally looked up. He saw the tears starting to fall and he wanted to hug her and comfort her, but he just couldn't. He knew nothing he could say would make it better. So he said nothing.

"Were you with her? Last night, I mean? Is that where you were?"

He looked off in the distance, focusing on Michael's Sebring, wondering which would hurt her more, the truth or whatever lie he could think up at the spur of the moment. In the end, he knew it didn't matter, because she knew the truth before he had a chance to answer.

"You slept with her, didn't you?"

He met her gaze for a fraction of a second, and then whispered, "Yes."