Dear Diary,

First off, is it cheesy to start of 'dear diary?'. I don't really know, nor do I care right now since my so called 'best friend' blew me off, once again. I try to strike a conversation, apologizing for Pete's sake! Damn, and the sad thing is, it takes so much for me to say something so little like that. Just to talk to him is a struggle anymore.

Well, here's the full thing. So...I was sitting in the breakroom, and I saw Jim walk in. I didn't want to just start talking, so I waited for him to say something. But as my gut instinct told me, he said nothing. So I thought about it and decided to talk. I told him I was sorry. Then he told me I shouldn't be...or something like that, and that I'm going to end up being with Roy anyway. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Does he want me with Roy? Or is he just pissed about how I went home with him after Phyllis' wedding?

 Not like it should matter...since apparently he doesn't love me anymore, or so I have heard/witnessed. But he acts upset when I mention Roy....so...does that mean he still loves me? I hope it does, but I don't want to be too full of myself. This is going to sound very vain, but how could he get over me that quickly and suddenly be wrapped up in Karen? Seriously, though. It's ridiculous!! And Karen....well I'll save her for a whole entry. Yea, I hate her that much ; )

He expects me to be over Roy, and we've been together for ten years. Yea, ten freaking years. Pardon my french, but that's a bunch of bullshit that he really thinks I believe he's over me. I hope he's not, because quite frankly, I'm certainly not over him.

I'll write soon, just give me an hour or so, I'm sitting at my desk and he's walking over here....I'm assuming to talk to me. Maybe he will apologize for being so rude. I'll report back soon.

 --- Pamela.