A Meaningless Movement

A Movie Script Ending

It was still dark when she got there the rays of sunlight barely staining the sky but she was resolved to arrive early. She had intended to splurge a bit on overpriced coffee, maybe sketch the patrons and imagine being somewhere where a pile of signed papers is not a considerable feat. She likes this coffee place because it’s far from work. So she almost sloshes coffee over her shirt when she sees Jan Levinson downing a cappuccino at an alarming pace. She almost sneaks out (she really doesn’t want to know what who she is doing in Scranton so early) when she feels eyes on her neck and hears her name and it’s back to being a receptionist.

She turns smiles mildly.

“Hey Jan”

***

She doesn’t really realize it for a while but half an hour flies by and her cup of coffee is still half full. She watches her fingers wind around the handle absorbing its waning heat. She knows if she looks up she’ll she something familiar in Jan’s face and she can’t quite reconcile the woman in front of her with what she saw every few weeks for the last three years.

Hushed confessions breeze through her head like it isn’t too early and she avoids awkward questions even though she and Michael is no secret and she assumes she and nobody isn’t too covert either.

"Are you alright?" Is a reflected question and Pam doesn't know what she's thinking, nodding and smiling and letting Jan talk about Michael in breathless bursts of optimism. She could leave and go to work and sit at her desk in the dark or stay here and face a gaze that seemed to understand a little more than she'd like.

“Yeah,”

She glances up and can’t look away because she knows Michael told something (good or bad). She waits because her head is empty and if she was alone she might wedge herself into the corner of the bathroom and cry. But instead she takes a sip of coffee because she isn’t going to run anymore, and she knows it wouldn’t change anything.

“I heard you had an art show”

And she’s played this game before and everyone expects something.

***

Jan offers the art program and Pam feels yes in her throat and knows there’s nothing holding her back. She only nods, lips curling and this is where regret ends.

“I’m glad you’re finally doing this,”

Pam’s smile fades, but it’s buried underneath stories of Michael trying to pick out perfume for her. There are grins and more stories and she can pretend that Jan doesn’t glance at Jim and Karen when they take the elevator together or tell her she’s glad to be with Michael with that look that’s really a warning (it could be too late)

She hides the forms underneath faxes and emails and fills them out when nobody is looking. Thick, creamy acceptance letters are easy to hide and secret smiles are covered with folders and excuses. It’s a nice secret and she swirls it in her mouth in the break room, because leaving is final and she can take that chance (once).

***

They get coffee on another morning in another city and Jan shows her a ring and Pam smiles and this is real (without bad dreams or awkward half stares).