“I didn’t think so much of him at first, but now I get it. He’s everything that I’m not.”

--The Royal Tenenbaums.

***************

“Robert? Is there something wrong?”

“Why do you think there's anything wrong?”

“Well, you haven't said anything since dinner.”

“Why does that mean anything is wrong?”

“I thought you might still be upset about what happened earlier.”

“Jan, just because I'm quiet doesn't mean that I'm angry. We’ve talked about this before.”

“So you're not angry.”

“Let's just ... drop it, okay? It's nothing.”

***************

“It was really nice to see Dave and Marie. I never get to see her now, since she’s stopped going to the gym.”

“Mmmhmm. Well, it wouldn’t hurt Marie to hit the gym. ”

“Robert, it’s only been two months since the baby was born.”

“Well, she should have time now; she’s not working.”

“I think she’s pretty busy with the baby… she seemed really tired. A new baby will do that, right?”

“I guess. What was with that dinner? I know Pasta Puttanesca is supposed to have olives, but Kalamata olives?”

“I didn’t notice. But they seemed…happy…don’t you think? Dave is really good with the baby.”

“Next time, we should bring the wine. Dave never could pick a good wine.”

“Wasn’t the baby adorable? I know sometimes people say that when the baby isn’t, but Taylor really was.”

“You would think he would at least know to pick a red wine.”

“Robert, what did you think of the baby?”

“What? Uh, he was a baby. There’s not much to say about a baby.”

“She. My God, did you not realize the baby was a girl? I mean, we talked about her all night long! Robert, she had a pink bow in her hair!”

“I’m sorry, Jan, that I didn’t notice the fashion choices of a two-month-old. What’s the big deal?”

“Nothing… nothing. Just… forget it.”

***************

“Jan, did you pick up the dry-cleaning?”

“What did you say?”

“Did you pick up the dry-cleaning?”

“Wait, what? You’re asking me now?”

“I just remembered.”

“Am I doing something wrong, Robert? Is this not… exciting for you?”

“No, it’s fine. Just fine.”

“Do you want me to go on?”

“If you want.”

**************

“Are you going to Dr. Perry’s with me?”

“Why?”

“You know why! Please, Robert. Please. I…we can’t go on like this.”

“I just don’t see why you need me there.”

***************

“Jan! Well, hello.”

“Robert. It’s good to see you. It’s been awhile.”

“Yes, I guess the last time would be when we split up the hardcovers. Listen, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Go on.”

“I heard something… and you better talk to HR about it. There’s a story going around that you’re dating Michael Scott.”

“Oh, I already talked to HR about it.”

“So they’re going to find out who’s spreading the rumor?”

“What rumor? We are dating.”

“Dating?! You, and Michael Scott?!”

“Yes. Why, are you surprised?”

“It’s … Michael Scott! When I saw him at Wallace’s Christmas party, he pulled a quarter out of my ear! Actually, he tried to pull a quarter out of my ear, but instead he dropped it down the back of my shirt! I had to shake it out my pant leg!”

“Yes, that sounds like Michael. What do you think of the gazpacho?”

“Why… why are you asking me about the goddamn soup?”

“I just think it’s very good, and I know you like a well-done gazpacho.”

“Would you stop saying ‘gazpacho’! Jan, are you going to tell me why you’re dating Michael Scott?”

“Does it matter, Robert?”

“Of course it matters! We were married! And now you’re dating… how could you be dating… what do you see in the guy? What can he possibly do for you?”

“Hmm. Interesting, coming from you.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“So, have you tried the gazpacho or not?”