- Text Size +
Story Notes:
This is intended as an inbetweener episode, taking place between "Ben Franklin" and "Phyllis' Wedding". It is in script format.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

 

THE OFFICE
EPISODE 15A
SERVICE CALL
BY KEVIN GREENE


TEASER

INT. OFFICE – RECEPTION AREA

It’s morning at Dunder-Mifflin. Everyone is basically getting geared up for the day.
Pam has just pretty much gotten herself settled at reception.

PAM
Hey, Jim, did you hear that story about the
72 year old tourist in Mexico? He killed a
guy that was going to rob him. Crazy, huh?


JIM
(turns around in his chair to face Pam)
Yeah, yeah. With his bare hands, too. Hardcore.


DWIGHT
I could do that.

JIM
What, get killed by a 72 year old tourist?

DWIGHT
Hardly. His snapping, arthritic joints
would be no match for my cat-like
reflexes. I meant that I could kill
a man with my bare hands. I’ve honed
my body and mind to be prepared for any
instance such as that. I am a weapon at
the ready. (Digs out his wallet and pulls
out a business card)And I always carry this
with me to remind myself of the
warrior way.

On the card is written WWJBD? In large
block letters. Pam leans in to read it.


PAM
What would Jesus’ (pause) brother do? Jesus didn’t
have a brother.

JIM
Maybe he was adopted.

PAM
Hm. Yeah, I guess. But how do we know what his
brother would do? I didn't even know he had one.

DWIGHT (annoyed)
No, no, not Jesus’ brother, Jack Bauer.
JACK… BAUER.

JIM
What would Jack Bauer’s brother do? Ok, I’m
pretty sure you don’t have enough letters
there.

PAM
Wait. Jesus and Jack Bauer
BOTH have brothers??

DWIGHT
No, not…GRRRRRR…IDIOTS!

(gets up and storms off. Pam and Jim suppress laughs and
point at each other)

PAM TALKING HEAD

PAM
Yeah, that was pretty good…Jim and I have a
thing where we try to annoy Dwight first thing
in the morning, so much that he gets up
and storms off. Our personal record is
17 consecutive work days…
(gets wistful and kind of stares
off past the camera)
Good times…good times.

END TEASER






ACT ONE

MICHAEL TALKING HEAD

MICHAEL
So today is a special day…ah…we will be graced by
the presence of Ricardo Xiques. Nice young Cuban boy,
ah, I mean man…I’ve been told not to say Cuban
boy any more… ah, Ricardo is from Hewlett Packard
and services all the fax machines and copiers
that we have… and he has finally agreed, after
3 years, to be on camera. Off the record, I think
he had some… ah…immigration issues or something…
BUT, he will be on camera today. I’m looking forward
to it…

JIM TALKING HEAD

JIM
Michael is… fascinated by Ricardo. Completely
fascinated. Ricardo is very popular with the
ladies so I think Michael kinda lives vicar-
ously through him… he tags around behind him
like he’s trying to pick up pointers or
something. It’s a little creepy…… and sad.
(smiles goofily) It’s creepysad!


INT. OFFICE – RECEPTION AREA

Ricardo, a handsome, in shape, young man, enters the office. Michael practically leaps on him.

MICHAEL
Ricardo! Ricky Ricardo! Baabalooo!

RICARDO (embarrassed)
Uh…hello, Michael…

MICHAEL
Come in, come in, let me get your coat… I was just
saying the other day…I hate when Ricardo is
not around…because the office is (in Ricky Ricardo voice) “just so Ricky-less!”
(laughs, but everyone just stares at him or looks
elsewhere, embarrassed. Michael looks at the camera,
half-smiling, then shakes his head in frustration)

MICHAEL (CONTINUED)
uh…You know Pam…

RICARDO
Hello, Pam.(he obviously finds Pam attractive)

PAM (smiling)
Hi, Ricardo…

MICHAEL
Oh yeah, Pam is going solo now, Ricky…
she’s free to be with you or me…

(Pam glares at him)

MICHAEL(CONTINUED)
Well, not me but, you know…

RICARDO
Really. That’s VERY interesting…

Jim kind of looks over his shoulder at Pam,
who is shyly playing with her hair.

MICHAEL
So, my man Ricky. How’s it going with the
ladies, eh? Any hot, sizzling dates to tell
us about?

RICARDO
Uh… no. Been kind of quiet lately, actually.
Been trying to do some stuff for me… haven’t
found that one woman I’d like to spend my time
with. (Looks at Pam, smiles)

MICHAEL(disappointed)
Oh… well… do you have any old stories to tell
us?

PAM
Oh, Michael… you have a call on hold.

MICHAEL(confused)
I… do? Who, uh… is it?


PAM
They wouldn’t say.

MICHAEL
Oh. Well… I’ll… just go get it then. (He hesitates
to leave, clearly wanting to stay near Ricardo)
Um… be back.

Michael heads into his office. Ricardo looks at Pam.

PAM
He doesn’t have a call. It‘ll take him a few
minutes to figure that out.

RICARDO(laughing)
Thank you.


Dwight walks over to Ricardo who is
getting his equipment together.

DWIGHT
Hello, Ricardo.

RICARDO
Dwight.

DWIGHT
I see you are still using that inferior
brand of tools.

RICARDO(sighing)
Dwight, I just use what they give me.

DWIGHT
But the mid-range line by Snap-On is
clearly a better set and FAR more
durable than that Play-Skool garbage
you have there. I had to hit the
Snap-On wrench 8 times with a
sledgehammer to render it
completely useless. Pretty much
ruined my kitchen floor.

RICARDO
Dwight…


DWIGHT
I sent a very detailed e-mail
to Hewlett-Packard with all of my
findings. I recommended that they
switch to..

RICARDO
Oh, that was you?

DWIGHT
Yes! You know about that?

RICARDO
Oh yeah. Management liked your
research. They purchased a dozen
of the kits and are field testing
them right now. I wasn’t one of
the lucky ones but pretty soon, all
of us will be using them. We got
a memo about 3 months ago detailing
the testing phase… They called it
the… “Schrute Initiative”… Oh wait!
That’s your name, right? Dwight
Schrute! Yeah, man! They’re
running with that!

DWIGHT (bursting with pride):
Yes!(Does fist pump) See, I DO
have ideas that corporate America
would find beneficial! MICHAEL!
I told you!

Dwight runs off to Michael’s office.

Jim and Pam silently clap and mouth phrases to Ricardo like “Well done” and “Excellent”. Ricardo winks at Pam and
she visibly blushes. Jim notices and looks back and forth at the two.


JIM TALKING HEAD

JIM
Would I be cool with Pam dating
Ricardo? (Shrugs)… I mean… he’s
a good guy and all so that would
be… um… you know… (long pause) nice.

INT. OFFICE – RECEPTION AREA

Ricardo is rolling up his sleeves and
looks up to see Meredith staring
intently at him, her mouth slightly open.

MEREDITH
Do you make service calls to private homes?

Ricardo looks at the camera.

KELLY
Hey, Ricky! It’s so good to see you!
(She touches Ricardo’s chest and gets close to him)
Oooh, someone has been working out!
(She looks over at Ryan, who shakes his head
and rolls his eyes)

KELLY TALKING HEAD

KELLY
Ohmigod, Ricardo is SO hot! I would TOTALLY have a
threesome with Ricardo and Ryan if it weren’t
so slutty. (Long pause) That would be slutty,
right?

Ricardo walks over to the fax machine closest to Reception
and Jim stands up and gives a Ricardo a warm handshake.
The two get along well, apparently.

JIM
What’s up, man? So… decided to do the on camera
thing this time around huh?

RICARDO
Well, they always ask me, they’re constantly
badgering me about it. I’m not comfortable
with it but I figured I’ll just get it over with,
maybe they won’t ask me anymore, y’know?

JIM
Yeah, I hear ya…

RICARDO
Hey, uh, Jim…
(He looks over his shoulder at Pam
who is on the phone and lowers his voice)
RICARDO(continued)
What’s this about Pam being single? What
happened to that guy she was engaged to?

JIM
Uhhhhh… not sure.(laughs)

RICARDO
Thought you guys were close.

JIM
We were..are…but we haven’t..really,
um… talked that much lately. You know…
um… been busy..

RICARDO
Ok

JIM
But we’re good, you know, she and I…
Just kinda…um….(shakes head, LONG pause)

RICARDO
Ok, well, that’s… thanks.
(He turns to work on the fax while Jim
stands there, kind of lost in thought. Ricardo
smiles at Pam, who blushes again.)


PAM TALKING HEAD

PAM
Oh yes, Ricardo is very, very handsome and nice.
ALL the girls just flock around him…I can’t
see why he would possibly be interested in me… Why?
Did you um… hear something about him, um… being
interested in me?

Karen comes over to Jim’s desk and sits on the edge.
Jim leans back in his chair.

KAREN
Wanna do lunch? My treat.

JIM
Mmmmmm, sounds… free. Definitely.

Karen laughs and Ricardo looks back at her.

KAREN
Hello.

RICARDO
Hi.


JIM
Oh hey. Ricardo, this is Karen. Kinda
sorta new to this branch.


KAREN
Nice to finally meet the famous Ricardo.
(Leans towards him and whispers)
Meredith and Kelly have mentioned you a
number of times.

Ricardo groans.

JIM (smiling)
And uh…what EXACTLY did those two have to say
about Ricardo?

KAREN
Well, I only remember snippets of conversation…
hushed breathless phrases… But the words
“Hot cuppable ass” remain burned into my
memory.

Both laugh and Karen puts her hand on Jim’s knee.
We see Ricardo take note of this. Karen gets up to
leave.

KAREN
So lunch later, Halpert.

JIM
With you paying for it, absolutely.

Karen walks back to her desk. Ricardo smiles at
Jim.

RICARDO
She’s VERY attractive. Why does everyone
say that I’m good with women? You get all
the best girls. Jim Halpert is obviously
the man.

JIM
(Laughs) All what women??

RICARDO
And modest, too! Michael should follow
YOU around, dude.

JIM(laughs)
Yeah, ok.(Turns to get back to work)

Ricardo goes over to Pam.

RICARDO
So, where are the famous Pam jellybeans?

Pam brings the jar of jellybeans up from her little
hiding place on her desk.

PAM
Contrary to popular belief, I did not
make these jelly beans.

RICARDO
Oh no, these are definitely Pam Jellybeans.
They are sweet… (takes a jellybean) they smell
lovely… (Smells it) and they really make me
smile. (Pops it into his mouth)

PAM
Ohhh…(Pam does that cute shoulder thing she does
and laughs.)

At his desk, Jim fights to not turn around. His face shows
what he’s feeling.

END ACT ONE


You must login (register) to review or leave jellybeans