"Ladies and Gentlemen! Blacks and Whites! Straights and Homosexuals!" Michael makes sure to make eye contact with Stanley and Oscar during his last two exclamations. "It gives me great pleasure to announce that this Friday will be our second annual Dunder Mifflin....Casino Night!"
It's simply instinctive; at the two words, Jim's eyes slide automatically toward Pam, only to find hers had done the same, and as a result they're staring at each other for the briefest of moments.
Jim slams the yellow No. 2 pencil he'd been holding down on his desk and scowls at it. Fucking Casino Night. The perfect way to end a month that had begun with his near-attack by Roy.
Michael's chattering on, something about the great success of last year and dates, and Jim feels someone staring at him. He looks up and, not surprisingly, Karen's grinning at him. She mouths, "Casino Night?" His heart sinks; she apparently likes the idea, and he'll be expected to go.
Pam stares at her computer screen without really seeing it, a familiar ache filling her chest as a flood of memories rushes forward from the back of her mind. Another Casino Night...a perfect reminder of every thing she'd screwed up, a tribute to what, more so than a calendar or the change of seasons, had marked the beginning of a new part of her life, and not one she enjoyed living.
Her eyes slide to Karen, who's grinning at Jim, and the knot in Pam's stomach tightens. She decides right then that she will not go. She will not see Karen and Jim all flirty and intimate (last time that happened, she'd ended up going home with Roy) especially not at Casino Night. She will not acknowledge that, in one year, Jim's gone from telling her he's in love with her (and, consequently, turning her entire life upside down) to being with someone else he loves (does he?) while Pam watches from the sidelines.
Ryan raises a hand. "Is attendance mandatory?"
Michael takes a moment to seek out the camera before replying, "I see no reason why anyone would skip something so fun that is also for charity."
Ryan pauses, then repeats, "So it's mandatory?"
"Um, yes. It is mandatory for all employees...except for Toby."
"Friday's kind of short notice..." Andy (Drew) puts in, sounding a little uncertain. "Not that I'm being argumentative in any way, but I was going to catch the Spiderman Three on opening night..."
Michael gives him an irritated look. "First of all, that's not nearly as important as charity, and second of all, the tickets are sold out for that night. Already checked."
"Damn." Dwight pounds a fist on his desk, a glare on his face.
"I know." Andy's agreement earns him a scalding glare from Dwight.
Michael refocuses his attention on the rest of his employees. "Does anyone else have a reason not to help charity on Friday?"
Pam's heart sinks and her cheeks redden. She wants so badly to skip this event, but she can't very well say so out loud. All excuses are failing her at the moment, and Jim would surely know why. She isn't sure why this seems like such a horrible thing, but it does.
Jim frowns. Between this mandatory crap and Karen's obvious excitement for the idea, there's no way he can get out of it. Does he want Casino Night memories? No. Does he want Karen hanging onto him throughout an evening he will certainly be thinking of Pam? No.
At that last thought, anger swells in his gut, and he tries to convince himself that he has control over whether or not he thinks of Pam. It's been a year. Why should he think of her the whole night? He should consider this second Casino Night as a sign of his growth.
To look at it objectively, facts only, it signifies a good deal of growth. Casino Night one: in love with his engaged best friend, pondering a transfer in a job he hated as his only means of escape from her impending marriage, blurting out his feelings and getting shot down. Casino Night two: Promoted to number two in his office yet still able to pull his pranks, dating a great girl who is A) not engaged to someone else and B) crazy about Jim.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out the healthy scenario.
Jim just can't figure how come the guy who went to Casino Night number one (though, admittedly, not the guy who left) had seemed so much happier.
He shakes his head in self disgust, and instantly makes a resolution to go to Casino Night and enjoy himself...to appreciate the obvious growth.
Pam stares at the back of Jim's head, trying to appear like she isn't. An unexpected rush of anger hits her in a flash, as she thinks of the way he's acted for the past few weeks, ever since the Roy incident. She'd tried so many times to apologize for her part in the almost-disaster, and he'd not only rebuffed them, but he'd always managed to get in a dig about her and Roy...comments she knew he didn't really believe, and therefore was only saying them to hurt her.
She won't give him the satisfaction of knowing she's still hurting...that's what would happen if she skipped the Casino Night. So she makes a resolution to herself that she'll go...she probably won't enjoy it, but she also won't let Jim know that.
She sighs, hating these thoughts; it's not even remotely in keeping with the norm for her and Jim. She didn't try to prove a point to him, and he didn't try to hurt her on purpose. And yet, now, they did.
* * * *
On Friday, between work and the dreaded Casino Night, Pam goes through her closet and sees the dress. The Dress. She grimaces and shoves it to the back of her closet. Like she'll need more things to trigger memories tonight.
She studies the remaining dresses, unable to deny the desire to look good tonight. She doesn't want to take one look at Karen and feel pathetically inadequate. Not tonight.
She dismisses three dresses before hesitating on the first. It's a royal blue, halter, silky. She'd bought it once, years ago, for a party, and though she's sure it still fits, she's never wore it again. It is, as Kelly would say, one of those dresses that's "low cut to show something, but not everything". It's also shorter than what she'd normally wear.
Pam holds it up in front of her, conflicted. It's a gorgeous dress, but will it look like she's trying too hard?
She's suddenly disgusted at herself for even thinking people will notice, much less analyze, her clothing. She closes the closet and hangs the dress outside of it.
After her shower, Pam is faced with another dilemma: her hair, which is for the time being wet and wildly curly. Soon, she's straightened it and is meticulously adding small, soft curls at the ends.
As she's about to pull it back in the usual clip, Pam pauses, and eventually lets go of the strands she'd held. Shaking her head a little self-consciously, she makes a quick decision to leave it down, trying to push away that annoying little voice that's asking tauntingly who she's trying to impress.
Soon, the dress is on and make up is done, and Pam stares critically at her reflection. The fact that she's pleased with the outcome does not counter the sick feeling of dread that's filled her since Michael first mentioned the revival of Casino Night.
* * * *
Jim leans against the door of Karen's bedroom, already annoyed. He'd expected to be annoyed by the end of the night, but it's begun earlier. He wants to be at home, watching a ball game or a DVD.
Karen emerges from her closet clutching two dresses. "Which dress?" One is short and red, the other a little longer, a light blue dress that was almost purple.
Jim's stomach twists at the color of the second dress; it's too close. "Red." He says bluntly and certainly. Karen's face twists in response. He'd forgotten how this worked. She'd ask him to pick between two outfits; he'd say he liked them both; she'd wear whatever she'd intended to in the first place.
Until right now.
"Really?"
"Yes." She looks as if she's about to disagree, so Jim forces a smile. "I've always found red sexy."
She raises one eyebrow. "Oh, really? Well in that case..." She lets the blue dress drop to the floor.
Jim watches her as she moves into the bathroom to finish getting ready. He sighs.
It's going to be a long night.
