New Ratings and Warnings for MA-rated Fanfic:   In the interest of protecting our Readers.



FI:   The Filippelli rating.   WARNING:  Talking about "The Relationship" is not considered foreplay by normal humans.   Especially Male humans.

SD:  The Stanley's Daughter rating.   WARNING:  Sex-related fanfic written by writer who has never actually had sex, but has instead read a lot of fic about it.

MM:  The Marathon Man rating:   WARNING:  Your male partner will require a period of recovery before being able to perform again.   Your female partner may not need it, but she probably wants it.

LCF:  Lady Chatterley's Fallacy.  Even more unlikely than simultaneous orgasm is the simultaneous orgasm with no manual assistance.  Lawrence was full of it.

WARNING: No actual man can perform like Jim is about to. Do not develop any expectations while reading this story.

WARNING: While "standing against the wall" sex may sound pretty hot, be warned that it can actually be very very dangerous, even if the man is 6'3" tall and strong and the woman weighs barely 100 pounds. Especially if it's in the shower, and the man is over 40. Please don't ask me how I know this.

WARNING: The following story contains scenes of extreme optimism.

WARNING:  Male readers:  Just because your girlfriend thinks this story is "hot" doesn't mean she'll be willing to reenact it.   So don't ask.

WARNING:   Normal humans don't bend this way.

WARNING:  Odds are that your sexual partner only has two hands.

WARNING:  Do not attempt to stare into your lover's eyes during coitus.  Your partner will either laugh or be very creeped out.

WARNING:   This is probably going to squick you out.   Read it anyway.