Jim Down Under
By Jody E.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Note: I took the liberty of injecting myself briefly into this story, since I just happened to have been in Australia recently with the NJ Choral Society. But I think I kept it to a minimum. The main problem I had was that Jim is young, male and single, none of which describes me, plus I was on a programmed tour, so the things I did aren’t necessarily the things he would have done. So I had to use my imagination a bit, which is what fanfic is all about, right? But the but I did use my own experiences as much as possible. And I did do the bridge climb, and the weather was just as I have described it.
From: Jhalpert
Sent: June 10, 2006 9:00 AM
To: Pbeesly
Subject: Hello from Down Under
Dearest Pam,
G’Day, Mate! Sorry...I promise that will be the absolute last time I use that phrase, but I just couldn’t resist. I can’t believe it, but here I am in Sydney Australia! I just got to my hotel a few minutes ago, and couldn’t wait to set up my computer and write to you. According to everything I have read, I am forbidden to go to sleep now, which is what I would love to do, but must remain awake until a reasonable bedtime tonight. So I have signed on for a bus tour of Sydney, just to get an overview. That will be after lunch. My hotel is the Vibe, Rushcutters, located on Rushcutter’s Bay. So far it looks very modern, with circular lime green chairs and purple wall panels in the lobby. The sink in the bathroom is round, but I haven’t noticed the water going down the drain backwards…maybe that’s an old wives tale.
My flight landed in LA yesterday...or at least I think it was yesterday, at around noon. That left me several hours to kill in LA before my Qantas flight at 11:50 PM! But I have never been to LA, and didn’t want to leave my luggage in an airport locker, so I rented a car and drove around to all the touristy places…Grumman’s Chinese theater, Mullholland Drive, Burbank. It was so exciting to see the Hollywood sign in person. I passed the NBC studios, but didn’t see any celebrities hanging around. People were lining up to get into the Jay Leno show, but I didn’t have time for that, though it would have been really fun. Imagine watching Jay Leno Thursday night, and seeing me in the audience! I had lunch in a bakery/restaurant called Toast, where, according to my Mom, who is the expert on these things, celebrities like Courtney Cox and David Schwimmer hang out. Unfortunately, Thursday is apparently "No Celebrity Day" in all of Hollywood. Ah well. My mom was hoping that I would get some photos or autographs for her, but all I got was lunch. It was a good lunch though...ham and cheese on a croissant. And the two women sitting at the table next to me were definitely having a "show biz" conversation...I think one of them was an agent. She had something that looked like a contract…or maybe it was "Threat Level Midnight!" Michael would have gone nuts. Can’t you just picture him in Hollywood? Like a kid in a candy store!
Anyway, I had to be at the airport 3 hours before flight time, so I had a hamburger at In and Out Burger and returned my car and was sitting at my gate by 9:30 PM. Only it already felt like midnight because of the time change. And so began one of the longest nights of my life. In addition to my Sydney tour books and maps, I have a book called, In a Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson, which is one of the funniest things I have ever read. It’s a travelogue but the author has an incredible sense of humor, and people were looking at me strangely, because I kept laughing hysterically every twenty minutes or so. I would recommend it to you, Pam, except that you would probably either become intensely jealous of my trip, or so fearful for my safety that you wouldn’t sleep a wink the entire time I am away. You would not believe all of the dangerous animals, fish and insects that live here, including some of the world’s most deadly snakes like the ones Bill Bryson lists: "the common brown, western taipan, yellow-backed lockjaw, eastern groin groper, [and the infamous] dodge viper."
Anyway, that book kept me occupied until it was time to board the plane. By then all of the other passengers were hoping that they wouldn’t have to sit next to the cackling American, but of course two of them won (lost?) the lottery and became my seatmates. Luckily, they were a pleasant middle aged couple from New Jersey. And as luck would have it, the wife was reading the same book I was! They were part of some singing group, the New Jersey Choral Society, and the plane was full of them. All wearing nametags and greeting each other in the aisles. My particular singers were Jody and Richard. Jody told me she wasn’t actually a singer...her husband was and she was just a groupie, along for the ride. The NJCS was participating in some big festival with a whole lot of other singing groups and would be singing in the Sydney Opera house the following week. But after a bit of introduction, we all put on our earphones and minded our own business, except for the occasional chuckle from one or both of us, as we read our book.
Qantas is a very nice airline. They treated us very well, and each seat has its own TV screen with a selection of movies, games and TV shows to watch. They also fed us constantly, which was great. However…those seats were not made for people as tall as I am. I felt as though I had been surgically inserted into my window seat, and once there was pretty much stuck with no comfortable place to put my legs for the next 14 hours. At least Jody and Rich were nice about letting me out occasionally to stretch my legs. I was planning to read my book for a while and then try to sleep, but then they fed us a meal…with free wine, no less. I mean what meal is it, exactly, that is served at 1:30 AM? It was listed as "supper" on the little menu they gave us. Then they came around later with these large "tucker bags" filled with bottled water and chips and candy. Then even later they came around with Cadbury hot chocolate or chamomile tea. It was too hard to concentrate on my book, so I watched American and Aussie sitcoms on TV and played solitaire. I didn’t want to get into any of the movies, though the Bruce Willis one "Sixteen Blocks" looked interesting. There was also a channel that showed the progress of our flight. That was amazing. I couldn’t believe that I was really doing this…flying out into the unknown.
I did finally get to sleep after a while, thanks to the goofy sleep mask they gave me, in a bag with a disposable toothbrush. (with the world’s smallest tube of toothpaste) There were also socks, but no way could I get them on my feet without being some kind of contortionist.
At some point we flew over the International Date Line, which is how I managed to misplace Friday. Have you seen it, by any chance? It’s one of my favorite days of the week, and I’d hate to think it was lost for good. Anyway, somehow, the next thing I knew it was Saturday morning and they were feeding us breakfast. Then I changed my watch, making it 7 AM, June 10th, and was in Australia.
Well, that’s all for now. I must keep moving...can’t sit still too long and risk falling asleep. I’ll try to write to you every day. I love you.
Jim
From: Jhalpert
Sent: June 11, 2006 7:00 PM
To: Pbeesly
Subject: Sydney Day 2
Dear Pam,
I haven’t heard from you, but that’s not surprising, since you won’t be getting my e-mail until Monday at work. And calling is difficult thanks to the time change. Let’s see...here it’s 7:00 PM Sunday, which would make it 5:00 AM your time. The hotel lobby has convenient clocks behind the desk, showing the time in different places like London, Paris, Moscow and New York, in case you think I’ve suddenly become a mathematical genius.
I had originally thought of renting a car, but was kind of nervous about driving on the left. The bus from the airport to the hotel yesterday took some right turns into traffic that nearly gave me, and all of the other Americans, heart failure. So before I left I arranged a one week Travelpass, which will get me on buses and trains all over the area. That should do me. I took a bus tour yesterday which showed me Sydney Harbor (or Habba…as they call it) and the Bridge and Opera house, plus a lot of the more famous sights, like Mrs. Macquarie’s chair, and the old part of Sydney called The Rocks. I am planning to go back there. I did manage to stay awake until 9 PM. It didn’t help that there were only 5 channels on the hotel television that aren’t pay per view, ABC, channels 9 and 10, and two sports channels. Right now World Cup Soccer is what’s happening, and the television is full of it. Australia’s first match is on Monday, and so is ours against the Czech Republic. So I think that I should go to a pub Monday night and see what this soccer fever is all about.
I took a bunch of pictures, which I am sending you on Snapfish. It was all I could do to get near Mrs. Macquarie’s chair, as there were clusters of singing groups having pictures taken. The NJ Choral Society and the Connecticut Choral Society, as well as a group from London, are all staying at my hotel, though I don’t expect to see much of them since their every moment seems to be programmed. I did meet a really nice non-choral threesome from London at dinner in the hotel, though. Grace and Colin are a married couple, about our age, and George is Grace’s older brother who has been living in Adelaide for the past few years and has just arrived to meet them in Sydney for a week. We all hit it off right away. You would get a kick out of Grace...She is tiny with black hair in a pixie cut and a mouth like a truck driver. I mean all three of them are like that…their conversation is mostly profanity with just an occasional noun or verb thrown in to make weight. But it’s the most surprising coming from Gracie. She and George insult each other like you wouldn’t believe. Thank goodness I didn’t understand half of what they call each other. She came all the way down from London to visit him, though, and he came quite a distance from Adelaide, so I guess they do actually like each other. It’s just so far removed from Janice and me. I mean, we used to insult each other when we were kids, and played a few mean pranks on each other, but nothing like this. Anyway, all three are them are very funny and want to do all the touristy things, so it might be fun to tag along…occasionally.
Anyway, last night, George and Gracie were trying to convince Colin to do the Sydney Bridge climb. George claims that it’s the best thing to do in Sydney, but Colin is a prat about heights. (According to Grace) Anyway, the bridge climb is one of the things I had planned to do. It’s expensive..$169, but you get to walk across the TOP of the Sydney Harbor Bridge. They did it on the very first season of The Amazing Race. Anyway, the three of us ganged up on poor Colin and got him to agree, so we all went over to the Bridge Climb this morning and put in our prepaid reservation for tomorrow morning at 8:45. Hopefully the weather will be better than it has been. Have I mentioned that it’s been raining and in the 50’s since I arrived? Not exactly summer vacation weather. There’s a swimming pool on the roof of our hotel, over looking the city, but I haven’t felt much like taking the plunge. I want to get to the beaches, Bondi and Manly, but I will wait for the weather to clear a bit, early next week, I hope. They do the bridge climb regardless of the weather...it’s only cancelled for lightening storms. Lucky me.
After arranging the bridge climb and making a date to meet C, G&G for dinner, I took off by myself to explore "The Rocks," which is Sydney’s old town, full of shops and galleries and pubs. I found a shop filled with a forest of didgeridoos, the Aboriginal tribal instrument made out of a long wooden branch which has been hollowed out by termites! They are mostly painted with Aboriginal designs, which are very interesting. The shop owner was more than happy to demonstrate them and "teach’ me how to play. She could make all kinds of interesting musical sounds out of hers, but when I tried it, the best I could come out with sounded more like Kevin in the men’s room, than music. Sorry...just be thankful that is something you have never experienced. There was a lot of Aboriginal art in the shop and an assortment of boomerangs also. I wish you could have been with me...we could have made up an inappropriate gift list for everybody we know. I mean, can’t you picture Michael with a six-foot long didgeridoo? (That’s what she said!) Yet another instrument that he wouldn’t be able to play, that he could drag with him to all the parties he crashes. He would probably insist on playing it at Dwight’s wedding. And imagine Dwight with a boomerang...he would undoubtedly behead somebody within the first five minutes after he got it.
I ate lunch in a pub called Fortune of War, which bills itself as the first pub in Sydney. Unfortunately, according to our bus guide from yesterday, there are several other pubs with the same claim, but this was MY first pub in Sydney, so it counts for me. I had a Sydney meat pie for lunch with a pint of Australian Bitter. The meat pie was pretty good, but I think I prefer beer. Angola was playing Portugal in soccer on the small TV screen, and there was quite a crowd gathered around to watch. I can only imagine what it will be like when Australia plays tomorrow. I’ve never watched much soccer, but it is certainly easy enough to understand, unlike Cricket, which I managed to catch on the non-soccer sport station last night. Even after I googled the rules, I still couldn’t make heads or tails out of it. It’s very fun to watch though. I also saw some Rugby on the same channel. It’s totally the opposite of Cricket. In Cricket you can play for six hours and not get a spot on your white flannel pants, while in Rugby, it’s considered a good deal if you get out alive. No wonder the Brits think that our football players are such wusses for playing in all that padding. Ooops...no offense to Roy, there.
Speaking of which...I’m sorry to have been gabbing so much about myself and not asking about you. I know that this is a tough weekend for you. When I changed my watch to June 10th on the plane, I had a momentary qualm, imagining if you hadn’t cancelled your wedding. It didn’t bear much thinking about. In fact, it made me feel a bit sick to my stomach, though that may have been lack of sleep as well. I hope that you were able to visit Janice and Ted today. I know they were looking forward to having you. I bought a bunch of postcards today and will send them out tomorrow, so you can tell my Mom, if you see her, that I am fine, and will be writing her. (If my folks would just get a computer...we wouldn’t have this problem!) I hope that you are okay. I really miss you.
Love,
Jim
From: Pbeesly
Sent: June 11, 2006 8:32 PM
To: Jhalpert
Subject: re: Sydney Day 2
Dear Jim,
Surprise! I didn’t have to wait until work Monday to get your e-mail or to answer it. Your sister Janice is letting me use their computer in the family room. Only, I feel I should mention...she wondered, quite loudly, why I got e-mail from the world traveler, and she didn’t. Just a word to the wise.
You’ll be happy to know that Friday is alive and well and living here in Scranton. We just had one a couple of days ago, and it was quite nice. It was a casual Friday too, now that it’s June, so Michael got to wear his " jeans." He was one happy buckaroo.
So let’s see...if it’s 8:30 PM here, than it’s 10:30 AM there..I think. So you are probably climbing the Sydney Harbor Bridge right now. Your sister has the TV on, and there haven’t been any news alerts about tourists plunging to their deaths in Sydney, so I guess you’re okay. Of course, you may still be wrestling with the eastern groin groper that snuck into your pants overnight. Personally, that snake sounds more like fun than danger, though I suppose it could be both. At any rate I refuse to worry about you. I know that you are smart and aren’t going to do anything foolish…right?
Okay...somebody here has a message for you.
HI UNCLE JIM I MISS YOU. BRING ME A KANGAROO. PLEASE.LOVE DAVID JOHN
Guess who that was? And your sister and Ted and your parents all say hello. Perhaps this isn’t the most private place to e-mail. I really must get my own PC...this is ridiculous. Anyway, I had a really great time here today. Yesterday was a bit of a bummer, I must admit. The funny thing is, it poured rain all day, can you believe it? I took it as a sign that I made the right choice. I called my mom and we talked for a long time, and I think that she feels better about the way things happened. And your family has been great.
Oh...on a personal note, now that everybody has finally left the room. I wanted to thank you for that wonderful message you left on my answering machine the morning you left. That was so sweet…I was feeling so blue when I got home that night. I saved the little tape, and put in a new one...is that totally dorky of me? I don’t care. I love you. Take care of yourself…oh and have fun.
Pam
