It didn’t take a day at the beach for her to know what was going on, but that may have been what it took to make her see that she was in the middle of something inevitable.
Jim and Pam were inevitable, and she was better off getting out of the way. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him or want a life with him. Jim was one of the best guys she had ever known, and she really didn’t want to let him go. She just knew she deserved better than to play second fiddle to the one woman he was never going to let go.
She felt strong enough to recover, but she knew he was never going to recover from Pam. At least Pam had finally been honest, which was more than she could say for the rest of them. She and Jim had just been kidding themselves about having any kind of future. She couldn’t live up to what he really wanted, and it looked like she was going to have to suck it up and be the adult in this situation.
She went extra hard for the position in New York, and she got it. When she told Jim, she made it clear that she would be making the move on her own, and there was no reason to pretend she wouldn’t be. He simply looked resigned, and she wondered, not for the first time, just what he had been like before they met. Before Pam had somehow unknowingly destroyed him.
Her Scranton co-workers told stories of wild pranks, office Olympics, calculators in Jell-o. She saw some of that lighthearted boyishness every now and then, but she had a feeling there was more to him before Pam had broken his heart. Maybe she could fix him again; she was too tired of being in denial to wish them anything but happiness. She would always be fond of him, and Pam had tried to be her friend and had never intentionally gotten in her way. It wasn’t her fault she didn’t know she was the only one who would ever truly hold the key to his heart. She knew as well as anyone that that was something you couldn’t help.
Never one for too much sentimentality, she told no one of her impending departure until a few days before, and she graciously accepted the small going away party in the break room, complete with cake and punch. They were an odd bunch, and she thought she would miss them a little when things got too boring at corporate.
On her last day at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton, when she had said all her other goodbyes, she stopped at the reception desk. She shook Pam’s hand, like a good sport in defeat. Pam’s look was slightly apologetic, though she didn’t say anything but goodbye.
Still holding her hand, she leaned in slightly, a conspiratorial tone in her voice. “Don’t feel guilty about anything, okay, Pam? It was inevitable.”
Her meaning dawned across Pam’s face, and the other woman gave her a small smile of understanding before she squeezed her hand one final time.
Karen walked out of the office and into the elevator for the last time, able to hold her head high. Pam had been right. It felt good to be honest.
Finis
Story Notes:
Spoilers: Pretty much up through Beach Games, but everything beyond that is spec, I'm not spoiled for the finale.
Disclaimer: Please, they're not mine. I'd be writing Jam love scenes (and figuring out how to actually get that into the format of the show) if they were. No infringement is intended (ie don't sue!).
Disclaimer: Please, they're not mine. I'd be writing Jam love scenes (and figuring out how to actually get that into the format of the show) if they were. No infringement is intended (ie don't sue!).
Cassandra Mulder is the author of 23 other stories.
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