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i.

The fire no longer danced.

 

Jim stared at the sandy ground in front of him. His mind replayed what had just happened. What Pam just said.

Jim, I called off my wedding because of you.

He felt everyone’s eyes on him. He saw Angela turning towards him in his peripheral . Her eyes bore into him. As if she was trying to see if his heart stopped. And it had.

…there were a lot of reasons to call off my wedding, but the truth is, I didn't really care about any of those reasons until I met you.

Jim ran Pam’s speech over and over in his head. Flashes of her responses of his own speech came through as well.

I can’t…

Jim continued to stare at the sand. Everyone continued to stare at him. The only sounds were the fire cracking and the water breaking.

You have no idea … what your friendship means to me.

Jim closed his eyes, a single tear fell. When he bit his bottom lip and bowed his head, Michael knew that it was time to leave.

“Um… everyone. Let’s start packing,” he announced. Michael walked over to Angela and placed his hand on her shoulder. She looked up and just with a glance, she knew what Michael wanted her to do.

Angela headed to the shore of the lake where Pam was walking in the water. A thoughtful look was on her face.

“Pam,” Angela barely whispered.

Pam turned around. “Hey, Angela.” She walked towards the shorter woman.

Angela searched Pam’s eyes. The light from the fire danced, but Angela could tell that there were signs of fear. Angela leaned in and gave Pam a deep hug.

“Before you ran in, Jim announced that he was going for the Corporate interview,” Angela barely got through the sentence when she felt Pam’s body tense up. Angela looked into Pam’s eyes again. The fire no longer danced.

 

 

ii.

And hope died.

 

The bus ride back was tense. Even with Dwight trying to get everyone in a “FRIENDS” sing-a-long. Pam and Angela were the last to make it on the bus. With one look from Angela, Kevin immediately vacated and moved to the back next to Oscar. Because of the darkness, Pam didn’t see where Jim and Karen sat. Nor did she want to.

Pam looked out the window, watching the stars and the moon come in and out of the clouds. Angela held Pam’s hand, gently stroking it. Pam had helped Angela through her rough times, so it was only proper for Angela to help her.

Several moments, a sudden gasp escaped Pam’s mouth. Pam jumped up and leaned over Angela. “Stop the bus! Stop the bus!” she told the bus driver.

The sudden stop jerked everyone forward. Some complained and grumbled.

Michael stood up. “Pam, what are you doing?”

Pam pointed through the window. “Andy! I just saw Andy!” She immediately made her way down the aisle, opened the door, and jumped off the bus. She had seen a pair of shoes and a bloated plastic body in the tall grass beside the road.

“Andy!” She called out. Whether she was truly concerned or whether she just wanted fresh air, she didn’t know. “Andy Bernard!”

“Andy!” His voice pierced through the thick air. She turned slowly as the tall figure made his way toward her. The light from flashlight in his hand hit her feet. As soon as he reached her, he gave her the light. “I figured you would probably need some light to see.”

“Thanks,” she replied slowly. She began to walk off, only for Jim to follow her.

“Andy!” his voice boomed. Sudden movements from the tall grass made Pam jump into him. His arm automatically wrapped around her waist as in protecting her. “Scared, Beesly?”

She looked into his eyes. A hint of the Jim she once knew. She saw a glimpse of him. Her best friend. A tear ran down her cheek as she quietly replied, “Yes.”

Jim cupped her face to wipe away the tear. His lips parted to say something, but a moan interrupted him from the nearby grass.

Pam turned. “Andy? Is that you?” She shined the flashlight in that direction, looking to see a pair of loafers peeking out. She walked forward, instinctively grabbing Jim’s hand in the process. “Andy, are you alright?”

A strained voice came through the grass. “I thought no one would ever find me.”

Jim and Pam helped Andy up. They decided that removing the suit would help the entire process of bringing him back to the bus.

Before getting to the bus, Pam whispered to Jim, “Angela told me that you are going to interview for the job at Corporate.”

Jim looked at Pam. Sadness had filled her eyes. She knew that that meant he might be leaving again. Leaving Scranton. Leaving her. All he could do was nod.

She slowly responded, “You should get a haircut. It would look better for the interview.” And hope died.

 

 

iii.

Courage does wonders to a man.

 

The waiting room at the Corporate office. He had been there before. When he was looking for a transfer. To get out of the rut that he was originally in. Now, it was even a bigger rut.

Karen was to his right and Michael was to his left. Stamford was to his right and Scranton was to his left. Fresh start was to his right and lingering baggage was to his left. Future and Past.

His hand creped up to holds Karen’s. She looked at him with a smile. He responded in kind.

“Karen?” David Wallace opened the waiting room door. “We’re ready for you.”

She nodded and squeezed Jim’s hand. “Good luck,” he managed to say. And with that she left.

A few moments passed until Michael cleared his throat. Jim knew it was Michael’s universal sign that he wanted to discuss something.

Jim turned slowly to the older man. “Yes, Michael?”

“Jim, are you happy?” His eyes held Jim’s glaze.

Jim wasn’t expecting that question. And he didn’t know how to answer it either.

“I tried to kiss Pam once while you were gone.”

Jim also didn’t know what to do with that. Half of him wanted to laugh but the other half wanted to yell. He was only able to say, “When?”

“At a Diwali celebration. I had proposed to Carol in front of everyone and—“

“Woah! What? You proposed to Carol?” Jim looked at Michael, surprised.

“Yeah.” Michael chuckled. “I did. Really dumb of me.” He looked at Jim again. “You should have seen Pam that night. It was the first time in a long time that I saw her that happy since you left.”

“Michael…”

“She really missed you, Jim. She was devastated after she called off her wedding. I gave her two weeks off so that she could get life back together. She had to get a new place and a new car and… She could have really used her best friend back then.”

“It wasn’t that simple, Michael!” Jim shouted. Looking away, he quietly added, “It just wasn’t.” He turned back at Michael. “I’m sorry that I shouted at you. It’s just… it’s a really difficult matter.”

“I know. However, is running away from it again going to help?”

Jim knew what Michael was saying. Was he really going to pick up and leave every single time something difficult finally gets to him? If Pam had enough courage to finally speak up, where was his courage to stop running?

With a sigh, Jim took out his phone. He scrolled to get to the message menu. He was going to send one to Pam, so that he wouldn’t have to talk to her directly. He felt it was better this way. To say that he was sorry. That he should have called her. That he shouldn’t have just left. That he still wanted to be her friend. That he should have been a better friend. He was going to type all of that out, but he accidentally pressed the “Saved Messages” instead of “New Message.”

He gave a small gasp when he saw six text messages from Pam. None of which he had ever seen before. They all came last fall, before the merger. How could he have not seen them?

Hey. What r u up to? I really enjoyed talking to you last week.

I guess that u r busy. I miss you. call me! :-)

Funny thing. Dwight is jousting some kid with a light saber. Did that get you interested?

Where r u, jim? I really want to talk.

Do u think that u might visit me soon? I’ve never been to ct, either.

Jim, if u could change the past, what would u change? I would have changed a lot of things.

Jim stared at the last message. He shook his head. If he had seen. If he knew. He closed his eyes. He could imagine Pam with her cell phone. The first message, her face would be smiling and bright. The last, her face saddened and maybe frustrated.

“Jim?” Michael’s voice brought him back to the waiting room at Corporate. “Are you okay?”

Jim turned to Michael and gave a lopsided smile. “I will be.” He stood up. “Michael, would you make sure that Karen got back safely?”

“Um… yeah,” Michael answered, confused. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going back.”

“Uh, what about the interview?”

“I can’t really do anything about my future until I sort out my past.” He patted Michael on the shoulder and left. His blood pumped and his heart beaten. Courage does wonders to a man.

 

 

iv.

Maybe it was her time to never look back.

 

Pam smiled as she left Michael’s office. Well, technically, it’s Dwight’s office for the day. She remembered when Dwight took over the conference room and he had created different signs so that everyone would know that it was his “workspace.” She and Jim recovered several first drafts of the sign from the trash. Her favorite was “Dwight Schrute Privates.” She giggled at the thought of it. Well, not it just the sign.

As she sat down, she stared at the empty desk in front of her. No more neck to look at. No more thick brown hair. No more Jim.

She still hadn’t gotten over the initial shock. Well, she had on the outside, but inside, she was still reeling.

She didn’t know if she should be upset or sad. She just didn’t know how she was supposed to feel.

When he walked in with his new haircut, she knew that that was it. He really was going. He truly had given up on her. On them. Yes, she was the one that suggested it, but it still stung. Everyone in the office complimented on the “new ‘do,” to quote Kevin.

Pam looked down at the list of things Dwight wanted her to do. Good time as any to get out of the office. Maybe it was her time to never look back.

 

 

v.

The spark returned to his eyes.


Once Jim got to Dunder-Mifflin, Scranton, he rushed out of his car and headed in, not seeing that Pam’s car wasn’t there. His mad dash up the stairs was probably the fastest he’s ever been since high school which resulted in his lack of breath when he got into the office. He glanced at reception to see that Pam wasn’t there.

Kevin stared at him from the copier. “Jim, what are you doing here?”

Dwight came out of the conference room. “Why aren’t you at New York?”

Jim gulped as he looked at Dwight. He noticed the paper in Dwight’s hand. After a few seconds, he asked, “Are those… certificates… or dollars with your face on them?”

Dwight looked down at the paper and then back at Jim. “I asked the question first.”

“I just… “ He didn’t know how to explain anything. Especially to Dwight. He started walking toward the kitchen. “I just needed some water.”

Dwight furrowed his eyebrows as Jim walked by. “That, that doesn’t make any sense, Jim! There’s water in New York, too!”

As he got inside the kitchen, Jim made a detour to the restroom first. He splashed water on his face, trying to gain composure. He had no idea what he was doing. On a whim, he ultimately gave up his chance to working at Corporate, ended his relationship with Karen, and drove at blazing speeds to get to Scranton, only to discover that the woman he was doing this all for wasn’t even there. He didn’t handles things correctly the first time, so he wanted to make things right this time.

“Hey,” Kevin interrupted Jim’s thoughts.

Jim didn’t even notice that Kevin even walked in. “Hey.”

“Pam’s out, but she’ll be back soon.”

Jim could only smile. Was he that transparent? “Thanks, Kev.”

“Um, dude, Pam’s totally right for you. I didn’t want to say anything before but with Karen… you totally changed.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I liked you better before.”

Jim nodded. “So did I.” He added under his breath, “So did a lot of people.” He looked at his reflection in the mirror. Who was that guy? He tussled his hair a bit and smiled. The spark returned to his eyes.

 

 

 



sorano916 is the author of 11 other stories.
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