Pam could not stop smiling, nor could she concentrate on any of the cameraman’s following questions, so they finally told her they had enough and let her go.
She took several deep breaths and tried to figure out if Jim had really just popped in and asked her to dinner. She assumed they had it on tape, and considered asking for playback, but she didn’t want to look any sillier than she already did.
She made her way to the ladies’ room as stealthily as possible, and tried to calm down. When she had decided to essentially become a new woman and say what she meant and felt instead of being scared all the time, she had never expected such instant results. That wasn’t even why she had done any of it. She never really expected anything from anyone in return, she had done it strictly for herself; to be more open and less afraid.
After the last year, she had never expected him to respond in this way, at least not so quickly. They had both made so many mistakes that she felt like this was probably more of a talking dinner than an actual date, but then again he had said the word ‘date’ and her heart had flipped over in her chest.
There was no way for her to know what had happened in New York to change his mind, or where Karen was, or what they were going to do next. But she wasn’t worried. She had been all right expecting so much less, and then he had walked in, looked at her that way, and turned her shockingly tidy world upside down.
She loved him for that.
She loved him for a lot of things, even as much as it had hurt to be around him the past few months; even as much as he had tried to hurt her. She had been angry with him initially, but now she understood. It wasn’t easy to see at first, but he had been really hurt and now she knew that he had been trying to save himself further pain. She couldn’t really blame him, but she wished they had both handled it in a different way.
Then again, they had both had a lot of growing up to do, and maybe they were ready now. She knew what she wanted, she just hoped she would find him on the same page. If he needed a little more time, she could wait.
She remembered again that she had no idea what had happened to Karen. It wasn’t lost on her that he had left with another woman last night, intent on spending an evening in the city before going to the interview, and he had showed up unexpectedly and asked her for dinner. Pam was trying not to get her hopes up, but she couldn’t help hoping he had broken up with Karen. Things had gone all the way down hill with them after the beach, so she wasn’t going to fool herself into thinking they could be friendly anymore.
In fact, if she hadn’t grown so much as a person, she might be a bit miffed at Karen for treating her like she was stupid enough not to see that she was trying to impede upon her friendship with Jim. Not that she could really blame her. If anyone had said what she had said in front of her and her boyfriend, she would have felt threatened, too. But she doubted she would have been so passive aggressive about it.
None of it seemed to matter now. She just wanted to savor the moment, and hope for the beginning of something good. Jim Halpert was the best thing that had ever happened to her, for so many reasons, and without him she wouldn’t have become the woman she was. It was a rough road to get where they were, but she knew there were many more miles to go, and this time they would do it together.
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, they're not mine. Otherwise, Jim and Pam would be making out right now, or Jim would be making out with me. So... No infringement is intended.
A/N: This is not the longer story I've been working on, it's just something I jotted down a few days ago. Probably not my best work, but it's just a little post-The Job diddy that I thought I'd throw out. Everyone else is doing it, right? ;) Feedback is love!
Cassandra Mulder is the author of 23 other stories.
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