Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to the Office or it's characters.

The Last Temptation of Jim Halpert

He knew there would be guilt. He wasn't made of stone, after all. But he didn't ever expect it to be this bad. Why couldn't this have been like Katy. That had been so easy. He had felt nothing. Well, nothing about her at least. As she had cried silently in the passenger seat of his car, refusing to even look at him, he alternately wallowed in self-pity and anger. Anger at Roy, at Pam, at himself. As he pulled up to her apartment, and the pretty redhead exited his car and exited his life, he actually smiled a bit when she slammed his car door with a violence that so sharply contrasted his numb indifference. He rarely ever thought about her after that, and when he did, he usually just closed his eyes and spent a minute or so remembering what she looked like without her clothes on. He longed for that detached feeling as he looked over at Karen.

Slowly, the nebulous, scattered guilt in his head began to congeal into very real emotion. It wasn't that she looked sad. She didn't look happy, but the expression on her face was more subtle. If anything she looked tired, weary, worn out. And alone. She looked so damn alone. Apart from Stanley, who had offered her his standard slow, bored sounding one word greeting when she had arrived. "Morning." As usual, he hadn't even bothered to look up. He may or may not have noticed Karen's response came a little slower and a little quieter than usual, and certainly couldn't have seen that it came accompanied with a forced smile instead of a genuine one. "Morning Stanley." Those were the only words she had spoken all day. None of her other office mates had even acknowledged her presence. Everyone knew too much. Nobody wanted to face the awkwardness.

He knew it would be a painful conversation, but he knew he had to have it. He could be strong. He was holding all the cards, after all. He had dumped her... and most of all he had Pam waiting for him. He waited until she was out of sight before gathering the strength to follow. By the time he made it into the annex and made the left turn toward the break room, she was already sitting. She was all the way in the back corner and had her back to the door. Jim approached silently, watching her shoulders rise and fall slightly under her brown hair. He had gotten to within about ten feet when her breathing appeared to stop. She jerked almost imperceptibly and her shoulder blades contracted slightly.

Jim braced himself. She didn't even turn around. When her voice did register it was as he expected filled not with anger but fatigue.

"What do you want."

What he didn't want was to stand there talking to the back of her head, so he pulled out the chair to her immediate right and gently set himself down. He was facing the side of her head now. She showed no inclination of turning to meet his gaze, but just as he started to speak, she swiveled her head and stared right at him. Her expression was more stoic than anything, but it wasn't a friendly gaze by any means. By keeping her shoulders facing straight ahead, Karen had subconsciously positioned her tiny frame as basic human instinct dictated. Ignoring for a moment all the pretense of modern life and convention, Jim was staring at nothing more than a 110 pound mammal trying to protect itself from getting hurt. Karen ended Jim's awkward pause by reminding him she was a bit more than that... she shot him a subtle glare that at once told him she was anything but a scared monkey, and also to hurry the fuck up and say what he had to say.

"Karen look... I just want to say again that I'm sorry... about the phone call, about everything. It was so many things. I felt trapped... like New York was an ultimatum..."

She looked like a statue. Jim stopped repeating his justifications. He remembered he was here to make some peace, not re-justify his choices. Jim fought the instinct to place his arm on her back to comfort her as he continued.

"You're a great woman and I really don't want things to be awkward..."

Apparently he hit a key word. She interrupted him abruptly. And now she finally did open her shoulders toward him, although only to allow her to offer up a downward hand gesture, a "shut up" gesture, as she spoke.

"Awkward, Jim? I don't want it to be awkward either. So let me ask you a question."

Crap. There was going to be no good way out of this. Karen continued, although she became less able to hide her sarcastic tone.

"Could you maybe go back to last week and tell your future girlfriend that maybe it's not the best idea to drag all this personal baggage out in front of the people that your soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend still has to work with every day?"

When she saw that he was too frozen to answer her somewhat rhetorical question, Karen seemed more than happy to keep talking.

"And that wasn't my ultimatum, Jim. It was hers. She issued it the moment she made sure that none of my co-workers could ever take me seriously again. This job may not mean shit to you, Jim, but it means something to me. And we both know I can't stay here now. She even sought me out later to tell me she was proud that she did it."

"What?" It was all Jim could initially manage. He hated where the conversation had headed. He hadn't expected her to have anything reasonable to say. Back on the beach, he had been so wrapped up thinking about Pam that it had never occurred to him just how bad a place the whole thing had put Karen. Maybe New York hadn't been about changing him. Maybe she just wanted take him and run somewhere safe. And Pam. He didn't have it in him to attribute her a single mean bone in her whole body, but he hated seeing how completely she had managed to isolate this woman who he was supposed to have protected.

A dark thought occurred to Jim. He'd been through management training. He knew about "hostile work environment" and all that bullshit. But it wasn't really bullshit this time around. Karen did get screwed pretty badly. If she wanted to raise hell, she could have Pam fired in a heartbeat. A manager like Michael might be able to hide behind Dunder Mifflin's corporate lawyers, but not a receptionist. Karen didn't seem vindictive, though. Just tired and disappointed.

Jim tried a new tactic.

"Look, Karen, you're a wonderful person. You deserve more than I can offer you..."

She shook her head in resignation as she interrupted him again.

"You just don't get it, do you Jim. It's not a hostage negotiation. It's actually really simple. I thought you were starting to love me back..."

She stopped suddenly and turned her head away a bit. She had started her last sentence with the intention of ending it with a hugely sarcastic "Congratulations, Halpert, you proved me wrong," but apparently the words had hurt her a bit as they came out, and stopped her cold mid-sentence. She looked vulnerable for the first time since he sat down. And alone.

And he hurt. He hurt for the relief he had felt when he had dumped her. He hurt for the sheer joy that had overtaken him the night when, less than 24 hours after having her for the last time, he had taken Pam. She thought I was starting to love her back... Karen had never told Jim she loved him, although he had known she did. She had never dared. Worried, no doubt, about the pain that would follow if he didn't answer likewise. Often, during tender moments, he had noticed her staring intensely into his eyes, practically begging him to tell her he loved her. But he never had. And now he was glad he never did. After the events of the last week, he would have been exposed as the mother of all hypocrites.

Worst of all, though, he hated himself. He hated that he'd been so oblivious to the pain he had slowly inflicted on her with every day he'd allowed her to get closer to him. He hated that he could see no wrong in Pam as she had publicly trampled all over Karen's fragile little world. But it was worse than that. Maybe it was hearing her side. Maybe it was the fact that he could never have her again, that she was sitting so close but he dare not reach and offer her an embrace that she would have so welcomed just one short week ago. Whatever it was, he hated himself for finally loving her just as she was.

The understanding smiles and friendly make-up hug that Jim had pictured when he followed her into the break room were a distant memory. Karen just sat there silently until he left. He felt gut-punched as he made his way back through the kitchen to his desk. Pam smiled at him and for the first time in God knows how long it didn't even make him flutter a bit. He needed answers. He needed to be alone. He needed to puke. He wanted his happy ending back. He may still get it, but there was a lot more crap for him to sort through than he ever would have thought. He forced himself to smile at Pam, and then hit the door even before Michael could respond.

"Michael, I'm taking a sick day."