It was about three months after Ryan dumped her, and three weeks after the last time she had sex with him. It didn't happen often, but occasionally he would call her up and say he missed her and then they would end up getting together and fucking in the car or on her couch, and then he would tell her it was a mistake and could never happen again. But it would always happen again, eventually, even though he would show up at the office for his weekly visit, since he was the boss now and everything, and he would act like she didn't exist. She wasn't sure why she let it happen at all, except that she still loved him and figured eventually he would change his mind and come back for good.
So anyway, this day she was feeling kind of lightheaded at work and figured that she hadn't had enough to eat so she went to the breakroom to get a candy bar, but she ended up throwing it up in the bathroom a few minutes later. Pam was in there and asked if everything was okay, and she said she was fine except for the throwing up and the extreme tiredness. Pam said, jokingly, "It almost sounds like you're pregnant."
Kelly looked back at her and said, "Oh my God! Pam, you don't think..."
Pam tried to laugh and said, "Oh no, I just meant, if you were still seeing someone I would tell you to take a pregnancy test, but since you're not..."
She interrupted. "Oh my God, I have totally had sex with Ryan!"
Pam just stared, eyebrows raised, and replied, "Um, recently?"
"I didn't mean for it to happen, he just showed up one night and one thing led to another and then... oh my God, do you really think I'm pregnant, Pam?"
"It's okay, I don't think you have anything to worry about. I mean, you used protection, right?"
It was hard for Pam to understand what Kelly said next because it came in between tears and blubbering, but it was something to do with "pulled out" and "ran out of pills." Regretting her decision to use the bathroom at that particular moment, Pam offered the best advice she could. "Hey, why don't you take a test, you know, just to rule it out. I'm sure it will be negative, and then you'll feel better."
An hour later Pam was back in the bathroom with Kelly, who had made her go to the drugstore with her and now was forcing her to wait while she peed on the stick.
"I can't be pregnant. I just can't. What will I do with a baby? Oh my God, a baby! There's no way Ryan wouldn't come back to me now, right, Pam? He would have to come back and we would get married and raise the baby together and be a family. Maybe it's not so bad after all. I've always wanted to be a mom, you know." She handed the test to Pam, who stifled an "Ew" as Kelly said, "You read it. I can't do it."
Pam turned the test over and saw two pink lines. "Um, Kelly, you're pregnant."
"No way!" Kelly shouted as she grabbed the test back. "I'm going to have a baby! A baby!" Then she made a noise that was something between a squeal and a scream and started jumping up and down. Pam wasn't sure whether she was happy or devastated. It took a few minutes to calm Kelly down before she determined that she was, in fact, elated. Kelly ran out of the ladies' room, still clutching the test in her hand. Pam followed her.
"Wait, Kelly! Where are you going?"
"I have to call Ryan. He is going to have to move back here so we can get married."
Pam grabbed her arm and whispered, "Don't you think you're getting a little... um... ahead of yourself? I mean, don't take this the wrong way, but something tells me he might not take this well."
"Well, duh. I'm not stupid, Pam," she replied, rolling her eyes. "But he'll get over it, and then he'll come back. You'll see. Thanks for your help." She gave Pam a quick hug and scurried back to her desk.
Pam went back to reception, and a few minutes later was shocked to see Ryan walking through the door. He apparently decided to come to Scranton a day early this week. In his hand he held his cell phone out as if it had just bitten him, and he was white as a ghost. Kelly soon came flying out of the kitchen, squealing, "Oh, I am so glad you're here! Can you believe it? You're going to be a daddy!" Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared as Kelly jumped and threw her arms around him. Ryan just maintained his shocked expression and didn't reply.
~
Ryan: "Am I surprised? Yeah, you could say that. Do I know what I am going to do? No idea. Hopefully I will get hit by a bus when I walk out the door today, so I won't have to think about it."
Four Dunder Mifflin Employees Who Find Out They're Pregnant... And One Who Doesn't by ExtremelyGruntled
Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
