Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc are property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.

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Ryan: But I’m not a part of the Scranton branch. I just manage it from this office, here in New York. So I shouldn’t have to be included in this any longer. I rather not actually.

But you signed a contract saying you would cooperate with the making of this documentary. You are still with the company; therefore you are obliged to cooperate.

Ryan: Right. Well if you don’t mind I would like to make some calls first.

****

Jim & Toby

Jim: At the lake I saw Andy throw a rock at a duck.

Toby: Andy?

Jim: Yeah.

Toby: Thought Dwight was more of the hunting killing animal’s type of guy.

Jim: Well if Dwight would kill a duck; a rock wouldn’t be his choice of weapon. Riffle, Ninja throwing star, maybe a paintball gun… I don’t know.

Toby: Spud gun.

Jim: Yeah. 

 ****

Ryan: looking pretty pissed.

Yes. Kelly and I broke up.  

****

Angela: In retrospect I have to say that I think that what Pam did at the beach that day was very courageous.  Inappropiate, but courageous.

****

Karen: Stares into the camera. Ferociously biting her lip and tapping her feet. Gets up again and walks away.  

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Jim: Yes. Pam and I went on a date.Holding in a grin.And that is all I’m going to say about it.  

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Michael: It turned out for the best that I came back to the Scranton branch.

That I stayed at the Scranton Branch.

The apprentices performed poorly at the challenges I gave them. It is for the best that I stay here and support the troops!  

****

Pam: I think that I made a world record heating hot dogs. Is that an anecdote?  

****

Michael: Yes I enjoyed “What a girl wants”.

That girl is very funny and Colin Firth is one handsome British gentleman.

Good actor!

I also enjoyed “Princess Bride”, part one and part two.

Did you see “Devil wears Prada”?  

****

Phyllis: I heard that Oscar is considering dating women. Meredith told me.  

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Ryan: I’m stuck with this rental company, demanding that I’m going to pay for a new suit.

Why would someone walk into a lake whilst wearing a Sumo suit?!  

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Andy: No! No! Angela must have misunderstood me. She must have thought that I wanted to go for a float.

I do not blame her whatsoever.

Imploding look on his face.  

****

Oscar: Quite shocked to realize that Michael has a rather strange taste in movies.

Why strange?

It’s the same as Kelly’s.  

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Angela: No comment.  

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Pam: Yeah, we went out for some Thai food.Holding in a grin.And that is all I’m going to say about it.  

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Jim: If I consider myself being cruel towards Michael?

When that man starts to make a speech and if he’s nervous about it he tries so hard to squeeze in every joke he ever heard along with every “philosophical” quote from every Hollywood production or TV-show he has ever seen, into every sentence...

.... it sometimes makes your head hurt to listen to him.

The only way to make that a bit more bearable from time to time is to throw him off a little. And then watch him struggle back up, using more of those quotes and jokes…..

I do the same sort of thing to Dwight. Just to make certain situations more bearable, that’s all.   

****

Ryan: Gollum Creed!

I swear to God! I am pretty sure that I saw him eat a raw fish at the lake. That he caught with his bare hands by the way:

Gollum Creed!  

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Meredith: Dwight almost became a roasted pig!

Keeps sucking the straw  

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Jim: Maybe a little cruel. Yes.

What?

Gollum Creed!

Good one.Good to know that Ryan can still make jokes.  

****

Meredith: Stuffed! With beets!Starts to laugh uncontrollably.   

****

Dwight: I can handle sudden change of temperature very well. It’s a Schrute tradition to dip our children in ice water on hot and cold days.So no: the coals did not affect me.  

****

Michael: Dwight is an idiot.

Who does that?

Crawl on a coal walk?  

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Phyllis: That was very brave of Pam. First walk those hot coals and then that speech. Very brave.I heard they went on a date.  

****

Creed: Who?  

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Michael: And who goes for a swim wearing a sumo suit?  

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Kelly: Ryan?

I don’t want to talk about Ryan.

Really?

Really.   

****

Ryan: Yeah I like cartoons.

Including the Flintstones yes.  

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Kelly: He broke my heart!

He’s my superior now!

My superior broke my heart!

It’s a devastating and sudden complication. Ryan moving to New York. He had to break up with me. He’s all alone now, in that big city, married to his job, with nothing else to do.

And I’m here, also all alone. Working hard just to keep my mind of things.

It’s like Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts in Notting Hill.  

****

Michael: Dwight can’t tell jokes. A leader needs to be able to tell good jokes.

His decoration skills are a joke.

Yeah, but what does he know? He lives on a farm with his cousin.  

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Kelly: Or like Colin Firth and that Portuguese girl in Love Actually.Well not exactly like that.

Colin Firth is so handsome and sophisticated. Ryan also has that quality. 

****

Michael: Mose?

Oh. I thought it was Moose.

No that’s not a girls name either.  

****

Dwight: I think that I should be the official number two from now on, yes.Jim played the mutiny card, tried to abandon the ship, he lost his credibility and won’t be left with any authority. Therefore I should step up and take control.First thing I’ll plan on is to fire Karen. She has undermined Michael and no longer deserves to work under his authority.  

****

Michael: Yeah, Jan and I are living together.We tore up the love contract and made a new one.

A. Lovers. Living. Together. Contract.

Concealed with love.

And lots of sex.  

****

Karen: I didn’t get the job obviously. However David did offer me another position at corporate, and I might just accept that offer.

I’ll need to think it over. I have so many good things going for myself over here.    

****

Ryan: Dwight seems to have a natural talent for dictator like behavior, it frightened me a little.

I’m not done with Dwight…..  

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Kelly: O yeah, “Devil wears Prada” is definitely in my top ten.It’s so romantic. It’s in Paris. It’s about fashion.And Anne Hathaway is sooo pretty.  

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Karen: Am I being sarcastic? What do you think? What kind of opinion do you have of me? Think I’m stupid enough to stick around and watch those two reunite?Or work with Cornell Ken a day longer? Listen to one more ridiculous speech from Michael? Dwight! Do you actually think that I would consider sticking around just so I can bond with Dwight? Or have little-miss-fridget-party-planner of the year ruin one more day of my life! Crossword puzzles! British Bridget Jones jokes from Kelly! One more time? Funky bathroom perfume! Do you want me to go on? Could I possibly consider staying? And spend my days with these people? What do you think, honestly? And if you hadn’t noticed through all the sarcasm, just to be clear: You offended me!Goodbye.  

****

Toby: Dwight seems to have a stash of 10 different kinds of Pennsylvania soil.

That fascinates me.  

****

Ryan: Why did I break up with Kelly?

Are you serious?  

****

Oscar: I heard that Dwight took a Polaroid picture of his own..you know…penis.  

****

Meredith: Do you have it?  

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Angela: I have a good hunch that men raided the ladies room. 

****

Stanley: Yep. Everything stayed the same.

Just as lunatic as it was before.  

****

Jim: She wished that I came back.

So I did. 

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Pam: At the lake I told him that I wished he would come back.

And he did.

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