It was the middle of the night and Ryan Howard woke up in terror. He thought he could hear someone inside his apartment. Ryan shot up out of bed and began frantically looking for a weapon of any kind, but nothing was to be found. Putting his ear up to the bedroom door, he could hear the front doorknob jiggling, which caused him to jump back.

There were some knives in the kitchen, but he was too afraid to leave the bedroom, so Ryan did the only thing he knew. He picked up his phone and began to dial. It was the same number he’d called many times before in this situation. The only difference is this time it kept ringing and ringing and ringing. Eventually the voicemail picked up.

“Oh my god! Thank you for calling me! I mean, that is if you’re an awesome person. If you’re not awesome, then you shouldn’t be calling me, creep. Sorry, I can’t answer the phone right now. That’s weird because I ALWAYS answer the phone so I must be doing something totally amaaaaazing, like a hot date with Brad Pitt, but I guess he’s a father now and in love with Angelina, so that wouldn’t be cool. Oh my god, you must think I’m a home wrecker. I promise that I’m so not…” but the rest of her sentence was cut off by the beep.

Ryan was shaking with fear as he began to leave the message, “Um, hi. I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from right now, but I just was scared because I thought I heard some noises. I’m afraid that someone is trying to break in to my apartment. I know that probably sounded stupid in Scranton, but this is New York and not a very good neighborhood. Maybe you’re screening my calls, and I don’t blame you. I was a jerk. I shouldn’t have done that. I really do love you, Kelly. I love you. I love you. I love you. If you get this message, please call me back. I promise, I’ll make it up to you. We’ll do anything you want. We’ll go shopping for shoes and you can take as long as you want. We can even go see a romantic comedy. I hear there’s a new one playing.  Sounds really bad, but I don’t care. I’ll still see it with you. Please call me!”

Immediately after hanging up he was mentally kicking himself for being so stupid. Did he really just say all that? At least he no longer heard any noises. He gathered up some courage and opened his bedroom door. No sign of life in the apartment. He very slowly made his way to the front door and looked out through the peephole, but did not see anyone standing there. Ryan sighed with relief and started to head back to the bedroom. He stopped when he thought he heard a high-pitched squeal. It was a very familiar high-pitched squeal. Ryan opened the door and there she was, standing there with her cell phone practically glued to her ear.

“So you really love me? That is SO sweet!” Kelly said as she wrapped her arms around him and began planting kisses all over his face.

“Kelly?” he said with disbelief. “That was you shaking the doorknob?”

“Oh you know you’ll never be able to prove it,” Kelly said. She let go of him and went back to the hallway to get several suitcases. She began to drag them into the apartment, motioning for him to help her. “Now let’s get to bed because you’ve got a long day tomorrow.”