Dear Sis:

Thanks for your letter last week. To answer your question, yes, the parole board approved my moving here last month, so everything's okay. I've got an apartment in East Scranton with another parolee. She was in for kiting checks, so I make sure I pay the rent myself. In cash. The rent's cheap but boy the commute sucks. I have to get up at 5:00 AM to catch the bus, then wait thirty minutes to catch a second one. Sucks.

But the good news is, yes, I have a job. Full time, no less. Of course it's not teaching; I told you the Board of Education pulled my teaching license when I was convicted. So I applied for clerical work, but no luck there, either. People think an ex-junkie (emphasis on the ex! I'm going to meeting every week.) can't answer phones. But this cleaning company was hiring and they didn't care about my record as long as I said okay to random testing, which I did. So instead of teaching high school science I'm cleaning toilets, but it's good pay and the benefits cover my rehab.

So anyway, you can reach me at this address for awhile. I won't be going anywhere unless my asshole PO decides my job is a bad idea or something. Give my love to Adam and the girls, and tell Mom I'll call her Sunday night. Oh, and here's five bucks towards the money I owe you. It isn't much, but I need to pay you back. I need to. Write soon!

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Yes, I absolutely want you to have the money. It's only five bucks, it won't break me. But I need to know I'm paying you and Adam back for all the money you laid out for lawyers. I screwed up big time, and you helped straighten me out. I did my time and I'm not proud of myself, but I'd like to get a little self-respect back, okay? So keep the money. Here's another five bucks. Next month I'll be able to get a bank account again, and I'll send you checks instead of cash.

Don't worry about Georgia, my roommate. Yes, she's a paperhanger, but I don't let her anywhere near my stuff, so she can't steal my identity or anything. I lock my bedroom door every time I leave the apartment. Thanks for the suggestion about the plants. Yeah, I think a vine or something would look nice. Do they do well in bathrooms? Ours has a frosted glass window near the sink.

Thanks for asking about my knees, but really, I'm okay with the work. My boss, Sam, took me off toilets and gave me almost a whole building to myself. That's good for me because it means he trusts me, and because I make a little extra. Not much, but it's all good. For one thing, it means I don't need a car just yet; I get to work on the bus and stay in the same building all day. The first floor is a warehouse for a paper company, whose offices are on the second floor. Then there's a heating company and a refrigeration company. In other words, it's almost all guys, very few women. The ladies' room on the first floor hardly gets used at all. Except I think Paul, the security guard, uses it. The part I like cleaning best is the second floor, which is the offices of the paper company. It's called Dunder-Mifflin; yeah, I never heard of them either. But at least it's office work, not as much dirt and grease as the warehouse area.

Gotta go. I had to clean up after a spill at the refrigeration company today and I'm beat. My love to Adam and the girls.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Oh, man, you are NOT going to believe this. This is so cool! You remember I told you about the paper company whose offices I clean? Guess who works there? Creed Bratton! I couldn't believe it! You remember the Grass Roots? I still love their song, "Temptation Eyes". Well, I was cleaning under this desk at Dunder-Mifflin, and there was a pay stub there. I saw the name and almost freaked out! Creed Bratton! I mean, how many could there be? Oh, and his birth date is on the check, so it's definitely the right age. And there's stuff on his desk with the name "Creed" on it. Now I think I'll change my schedule so I can be cleaning those offices during the time the workers are there. If I get a look at him, I'll let you know. Do you still have those old LPs of the Grass Roots?

Sorry to hear about Danielle's cold. I hope she feels better soon. Here's another five bucks for the money I owe. Tell Adam I love him but stop being a dick about the money.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Sorry about taking so long to write back. I had some trouble with my PO, who claimed I was trying to evade him. Dickwad just lost my phone number, that's all. I haven't gone anywhere. I think he was ready to yank me back into stir until my boss, Sam, called him and stuck up for me. He verified that I was at work the times my PO was calling. What a jerk. Anyway, I'm cool for now, but I was kind of worried there.

And yes, it's really Creed Bratton! But there's more news. Really wild stuff, Sis. Last week I told Sam I needed to change the order I clean the building, and he said it was up to me as long as it all got done. He's got his hands full training a bunch of kids who don't know anything, and he pretty much lets me call my own shots. I didn't have this much freedom when I was a teacher! So anyway, I got to the Dunder-Mifflin offices early on Thursday and went in pushing my cart. There's this pretty little receptionist, very young but sweet, who jumped up to help me with the door. A lot of receptionists are too snotty to even notice the cleaning lady, but she was nice. Anyway, I started sweeping, being as cool as possible to avoid bothering people because they'd tell me to leave, and you won't believe what I saw.

Television cameras! Can you believe these people are being filmed? There's a camera crew that comes every day to do nothing but film the people in that office, for some kind of documentary. Anyway, as soon as I started doing my thing, this guy in a black baseball cap who looks like a homeless bum comes over and starts asking questions, wants to call Sam, yadda yadda. After I explained what I was doing there, he called his boss and then went in and talked to the boss of this office (his name is Michael something). More talking. I go on sweeping, though this one guy (I think his name is Dwight) was giving me some grief about dust bunnies and dead skin cells. This other guy, a good looking kid named Jim, started asking the Dwight guy how he knew about the sex lives of dust bunnies, and did they use protection, and I just about cracked up listening to those two.

After awhile, the camera guy and the Michael guy called me in and explained that if I was going to be coming in all the time and cleaning, I had to sign a waiver because I'd be on TV! That, or I'd have to come in at another time. So I signed the paper. Hey, I'm going to be on TV! Don't know when, though. I don't think they're finished with the filming part.

Whoops, there's the oven timer. Gotta go. I'll write more soon. Glad Danielle is better. Give her a hug from Aunt Sunny.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Wow, talk about harsh. I understand that maybe you don't feel you can trust me much, after the way I screwed up with the pills and all, but I would never lie to you. I'm putting a copy of that paper I signed in with this letter, so you can see I wasn't lying or high or anything. I really have signed a waiver with a documentary camera crew. In fact, I made that copy on the copy machine in the Dunder-Mifflin offices, on camera, so some day maybe you'll see me doing it on TV! Anyway, I guess I shouldn't be mad but it does hurt that you don't believe me. And please don't tell Mom not to believe me. It's important not to upset her.

So yes, to get back to what I was saying in my last letter, the guy in the Dunder-Mifflin offices is really and truly Creed Bratton. I went to the library on Sunday and used their computer to get on the Internet. I Googled him and yeah, that's him! His hair is gray and real short, and he doesn't have the little goatee he had on the cover of that old album. But if you still have the Grass Roots Greatest Hits album, check out the guy on the far right. Put gray hair on him, and that's pretty much the same guy. I couldn't believe it! A real rock star, and he works in my building! Sorry, sometimes it makes me feel sixteen again. I wonder if they'd fire me if I asked for an autograph. I'm way too chicken to go near him. The closest I got was when I was sweeping up some paper shreds from a 3-hole punch. It was close to his desk, and I took my time cleaning up. When I looked over, he was playing solitaire on his computer screen. I got goosebumps, Sis!

The rest of that office is a zoo. There's that nice receptionist; her name is Pam and she's a real sweetheart. But that Dwight guy has bobbleheads all over his desk and he's a real crank. He's always barking at this guy named Andy who's got a screw loose himself. How these guys get any paper sold is beyond me. The Jim guy is kind of nice, but seems like something of a slacker. I think he's dating one of the other women in the office, a nice looking girl named Karen. But I could be wrong, because there's something between him and the receptionist, I can't quite figure out. I don't think he's two-timing the Karen chick, but Pam sure spends a lot of her time looking at this Jim guy. Which I don't blame her for at all. And then there's this really quiet guy named Toby who works in human resources and always says hello when I come in to empty his trash.

But the boss! Oy vey! His name is Michael, I think I said that, and he's just nuts! I was replacing the bottled water dispenser when he came out of his office and ordered everyone into a meeting in their conference room to discuss some new diet he thinks everyone should be on, to reduce their medical premiums. I think it was mostly raw vegetables and seaweed, from what I overheard.

Oh, and about the cameras. They're everywhere! Sometimes there's only one crew, sometimes two. Now and then they'll come grab someone and pull them into an empty room for a one-on-one interview. I heard the Dwight guy call them "talking head" interviews. So far they haven't interviewed me. Hah hah.

I'm putting in ten dollars this time, to make up for the week I missed. Next week I'm opening a bank account so I can get Direct Deposit. You should be easier in your mind about that because it means Georgia can't get her hands on my paycheck. I don't know why you're so worried about that. I'm okay.

Tell Danielle thank you for the drawing of the blue giraffe. I put it up on the wall of my bedroom.

Love,

Sunny

Dear Sis:

Wow, so much drama where I work! Last week it looks like the shit really hit the fan somewhere. First, this Michael guy took everyone to a beach party or something, and the office was practically empty! I got all my work done in no time and then spent some time reading through some of the magazines in the ladies' room. It's really nice, with a little fountain and a couch and all. I make sure to keep it extra clean because that little receptionist girl is so nice, I don't want her to be grossed out when she goes in there.

Anyway, the day after the beach party, everyone was excited because several of the people were going to go interview for some big shot job in New York. Michael (the boss guy) went, and then Jim and Karen (I think I told you they were dating). This guy Dwight gets made temporary boss and he went absolutely batshit. He painted Michael's office black! Can you believe that? It was like being in Spencer's gifts or something. I wondered if he was going to put up black lights and those posters of unicorns we used to want to buy.

So anyway, about mid afternoon Michael comes back and makes this big "I'm back" speech no one paid attention to. I was mopping up a coffee spill by this guy Stanley's desk and heard the whole thing. The guy is really pathetic (Michael, not Stanley). I had noticed that little Pam was kind of subdued all day. I think she was missing her friend Jim. So anyway, the camera guys pulled her in to film an interview in the conference room, and halfway through I see Jim come through the doors. He tossed his messenger bag on his desk and didn't even slow down--he opened the door to the conference room (which we've been told to never do when they're filming) and said something to her. I don't know what it was, but whatever she said back made him smile. When he closed the door, well, I haven't seen that look on a guy's face in a long time. I think this Karen chick is history, or will be soon. Then Pam came out and I swear, Sis, she was walking on air. And I swear when she looked at him and he looked back at her I smelled roses or violets or something. Wow, what a romance! And right here under my nose! I fell sorry for that Karen. I don't know where she was all day, though.

Oh, to answer your question: no, I have not spoken to Creed. Are you kidding? I'd fall right through the floor with embarrassment. What could I say? "I'm such a big fan. You rock!" Why don't I just do that whole Beatlemania squealing thing you used to do, while I'm at it! Hah hah. But yes, if you find that old LP album, send it along. I'll try to work up the courage to get an autograph.

Here's a check for five bucks. It's check number 001! The first one on my new account! Tell Adam that yes, I signed up for check protection at the bank in case Georgia tries to pull something. Honestly, I wish you guys would lay off her. She is a real good cook.

Weather here has been hot; I hope Philly is cooler. Are the girls out of school yet? Ah, summer. Remember when we used to play on the slip and slide next door at Aggie and Jack's? Give my love to Adam and the girls.

Love,

Sunny