They are still laughing when she shuts down her computer.

“What do you think Dwight is doing right this second?” 

She really wants to ask him why he broke up with Karen two weeks ago (which Phyllis not-so-casually mentioned to her over lunch the day after it happened), but settles on something safer.      

“Right this second?  Furiously packing.  So, that probably means a lot of beets.  They’re good to have for a helicopter ride, or for when you are dropped into the middle of nowhere.  Underwear, socks…hopefully he remembers shirts and pants.”

“See, I think he’s had a bag packed for months, like an expectant mother, so right now he’s just sitting on the couch and watching the pilot episode of Alias.  It’s like test prep.  I mean, you never know when you are going to be forced to dye your hair red and uncover a conspiracy, Jim.”

“Excellent point.  Let’s order him to have a sex change.”

She lets out one of her heartiest laughs and he gives her another wide smile that reaches all the way to his eyes.  It’s just like old times and she wishes they could stay like this for just a little while longer.  Like a few more minutes or maybe the rest of their lives.  She’s suddenly feeling greedy.

A silence falls as they wait for the elevator and she splits a candy cane with him so they’ll at least have something to do. It’s the first time they’ve been in such a small space, just the two of them, since….well, since before.  It feels like a lifetime ago.  Maybe two.

They ride down, just sucking on their candy canes, when she notices that he’s tapping his left foot.  It’s what he used to do when they would go over the logistics of a prank or he would hear a song he really liked.  She takes it as a good sign.  Then again, she knows he really likes candy canes.

When they walk outside, snow is falling and everything is dusted with white.  Without a second thought, she sticks out her tongue and tries to catch a flake.  She hears his laughter to her right, and when she looks over at him, he’s doing the same thing.  Soon they are laughing and catching snowflakes on their tongues and everything is perfect. 

She’s just bold enough to ruin it with a question.

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Yes, I will deny doing this if you tell anyone.” 

She clears her throat louder than expected, and she swears that even in the muted light of the parking lot, she sees the color drain from his face.  Her mind screams that this is a huge mistake, a gigantic regret-it-for-the-rest-of-your-life mistake, but hasn’t she already made that mistake with him?  She’s so tired of listening to her head and listens, instead, to the heart that is beating too loudly in her ears.

“Do you....uh…I mean, I….what I wanted to ask….shit!”

He’s staring at her, not like she’s crazy, but like he’s bracing himself for whatever she’s going to say.  This is so stupid.  It’s none of her business, but she’s dying to know why he broke up with Karen.  She looks down at the ground and shakes her head, hoping to clear it, but also hoping it will open up and swallow her whole. 

“Pam-“

“Do you still love me?”

She manages to startle herself, so she can only imagine what his face must look like, but when she lifts her head and meets his eyes she immediately recognizes the look there.  It’s the same one he gave her that night, maybe the one he’s always given her, and she knows she won’t blow this chance.

“I love you.  And I know I have no right to tell you this, but I’m telling you this, and you can think I’m the biggest idiot or hate me or tell me I’m too late, but I love you.  I really do, Jim.”

He says nothing but walks the short distance between them and wraps his arms around her.  She has always loved his hugs and she needs this more than ever.  They stand there, holding on to each other, and her stupid brain reminds her that he still hasn’t said anything yet.  But this hug.  God, this hug is everything right now.

Moments later he pulls back and looks at her, placing his hands on either side of her face.  His hands are so cold but the chill running the length of her spine has nothing to do with his hands or the weather.  It’s all about his eyes.

“Yes.  Of course I still love you.”

“Is that why-“

“I broke up with Karen?  Yeah.  It wasn’t fair to her.  I wasn’t being fair to her.  She deserves better than my half-assed attempt to get over you.”

She covers his hands with her mitten-covered ones in an attempt to warm them.  They stand there smiling like a couple of idiots for a few more seconds until another question pops into her head.

“So, are you going to kiss me anytime soon, or am I going to have to do everything tonight?”

Seconds later, all she can taste is peppermint.