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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Chapter Notes:
This was the second Kandy fic that I wrote, the prompt was poster/car/wig.
Andy was pretty psyched about The Dundies. From what Michael had said in the meeting the day before, it sounded awesome, like… winning a CARA for best male collegiate solo kind of awesome. Yeah, that’s right, he won a Contemporary A cappella Recording Award, only the greatest honor that any a cappella singer could ever hope for. Anyway, The Dundies sounded like a rockin’ party that he didn’t want to miss. He had heard Big Tuna and that Pam chick raving about Michael’s Ping character, whatever that was. Andy was sure it would be hilarious, because, come on, it was Michael, one of the world’s greatest yet-to-be-discovered comedic talents. Unfortunately, the battery in his Xterra chose that day to stop working. He called a tow truck to come and pick up the SUV and take it to the car repair place. He was already late for work, and they didn’t have a car rental place nearby, so he had to call a cab.

 

When he finally got to the office and burst through the door, everyone was oddly quiet. Not that they ever really talked much, especially to him, but they all seemed gloomier than ever. Maybe he just needed to spread around some of his extra charming Andy Bernard enthusiasm. “Hey everybody!” he said with his most winning smile. “Andrew Bernard hath arrived. Let the fun begin, woo!” He dropped his bag and clapped his hands as he looked around the room. Stanley glanced up at him and rolled his eyes. Andy chuckled and waved a hand at him. Phyllis took a quick look at him and then went back to her computer. Andy still didn’t trust that Phyllis woman. Big Tuna made some stupid face at the camera. Dwight just glared at him. Andy looked back at Pam behind the receptionist’s desk and she just stared at him with a raised eyebrow. He felt his smile faltering as he cleared his throat and picked up his bag. He walked over to his desk and sat down without another word.

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Ick, that Andy Bernard guy could be such a dork sometimes. Well, not sometimes, try most times. And when he wasn’t being a dork, he was being a psycho wall punching freak. Kelly wondered if he’d ever get a clue that nobody really liked him. Probably not. Men were stupid. Like, majorly stupid. Especially men named Ryan. Especially men named Ryan who walk in with their fancy new suits looking all serious and corporate and completely ignoring her. He didn’t even look towards the annex when he came in. He just said, “Hi,” to Pam and then walked towards Michael’s office.

She saw Dwight jump into his path and stand as tall as he could as he nodded his head and said, “Temp.”

Ryan sighed in that super annoying way that he does whenever he rolls his eyes. “Dwight, I’m not a temp anymore… I’m your boss.”

Dwight snickered and said, “No, Michael’s my boss. You are not my boss.”

“But I’m Michael’s boss, which in turn makes me your boss.”

Dwight’s eyes narrowed and his lips formed a hard line. Grudgingly, he said, “True. But you’ll always be Temp.”

Then that Andy guy popped up out of nowhere and said with that goofy smile of his, “Hey! Big Turkey!” He held out his hand for Ryan to shake. “So you’re corporate now, huh? Even though you’re several years younger than me and never made a sale.”

Ryan nodded his head and did that condescending smile. He always thought Kelly didn’t know what that smile meant, but she knew. She always knew what he was thinking, she just chose to ignore it most times.

“I suppose I should call you Jumbo Turkey now that you’re the big boss,” Andy continued with a laugh.

“No… please don’t,” Ryan said.

Andy just laughed and said, “Ahh, Big Turkey, always the jokester!”

“Right,” Ryan replied sarcastically. Then he went into Michael’s office.

Kelly hoped that Andy would call him Jumbo Turkey forever, because that’s what he was. Or maybe Gigantic Chicken, because that described him even better. The jerk didn’t even have the guts to say hello to her. And did he have to look that good? There had to be a law or something that says you can’t look that good in front of the girl that you just heartlessly broke up with.

And do you know what the worst part of it was? She had to go to The Dundies all by herself. She was going to look like such a loser without a date. Even Creed was bringing someone. What kind of twisted world was it that every person in the office had somebody but her? Life wasn’t fair.

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Andy had made good progress with Big Turkey. He had laid on the old Andy charm. Plus, he and Big Turkey were already buddies, so he didn’t have to work too hard to get on his good side. Andy stared at the door to Michael’s office patiently waiting for Big Turkey to come back out. When he finally did, Andy jumped up and said, “Big Turkey!”

Big Turkey stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around. “What?”

“I just want to let you know that you are doing a great job around here. And if there’s anything I can do for you, anything, you just let me know, all right little buddy?”

Big Turkey stared at him for a moment, then he reached into his suit jacket and pulled out an envelope. “Actually, could you give this to Kelly for me?”

Andy smiled, took the envelope, and said, “Sure thing, boss!”

“Okay, good,” he said and turned around and left.

Andy scoffed. No “Thank you, good sir.” Not even a “Thanks, you rock.” Rude much?

Andy looked down at the envelope in his hand and could tell that it was a key. Suddenly Andy remembered that Big Turkey had been Kelly’s boyfriend. And Kelly had very publicly let everyone know that Ryan dumped her. In a very bastardly way. Now, Andy couldn’t fault the guy for wanting to play the field (Andy was a ladies’ man, after all) but the way that he dumped her was pretty harsh. And he couldn’t shake the feeling that the key in that envelope would hurt Kelly even more. Not that Andy cared about that Kelly chick, he was just a good guy who hated to see his coworkers unhappy.

As he sauntered over to the annex, he noticed that Kelly was just staring at the wall of her cubicle and letting her phone go unanswered. She wasn’t her usual perky self, and for some reason that bothered him. “Hey, Kelly,” he said with that charming enthusiasm of his.

Kelly didn’t respond. She didn’t even look at him. It was like he wasn’t even standing right there next to her. Andy was used to this. His mother used to act like he didn’t exist all the time. He’d just keep asking her questions until she would finally acknowledge him. So, that’s what he did with Kelly.

“You a Spice Girls fan?” he asked, pointing to the “Girl Power” poster hanging over her computer.

Still no response.

“I saw them in concert back in ’97. It was totally kickass.”

Kelly’s head turned a little and he could feel her looking at him out of the corner of her eyes.

Andy smiled. “Yeah, you know my a cappella group, Here Comes Treble? We even did our own version of Wannabe. It was pretty sweet.”

A hint of smile formed on Kelly’s lips and now she was fully facing him.

A feeling of pride swelled up inside of Andy and he couldn’t help but smile a little brighter. She was much easier to crack than his mother. Then he started doing the one thing that came natural to him, he started singing. In a sexy falsetto voice. “If you wannabe my lover, you gotta get with my friends. Make it last forever, friendship never eeeends.” Then in a low voice he sang, “So tell me what you want, what you really really want…”

He jumped when Kelly surprised him by chiming in with, “I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want.”

Andy gave her a huge grin as he replied, “So tell me what you want, what you really really want.”

Then they both sang together for, “I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha.”

She smiled up at him, and he felt this weird fuzzy thing rolling around in his stomach as stared into the chocolatey goodness of her brown eyes. He laughed it off and leaned against her desk as he asked, “Did you know that they’re getting back together?”

“Of course I know,” Kelly said with a laugh. “It’s only like, the biggest news since Paris Hilton got released from jail. And oh my god, like, the press is making such a huge deal about Posh and Becks moving to the USA. They’re like, the new TomKat or something.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Andy said, smiling brighter than ever. He did it. She was back to the perky girl that he had met on his first day at Scranton. “So, you gonna get tickets when the Spice Girls reunion tour comes through here?”

“Uh, hello? Of course I am!”

Andy bowed his head slightly, doing that cool gentlemanly act that the chicks dig so much, and he said, “Miss Kapoor, you are indeed a connoisseur of great music.”

Kelly laughed and said, “Ryan always hated my music. He said that The Spice Girls were a travesty to the 90s or something stupid like that.”

Andy scoffed and said, “Big Turkey obviously doesn’t know a good thing when he has it.”

“Totally,” Kelly said.

Andy felt that annoying fuzziness in his stomach again as he stared at her smiling lips and realized that he was talking about more than just The Spice Girls. God, he was horny.

“So, what did you come back here for, anyway?” she asked.

“Oh, right!” He looked down at the envelope that had somehow gotten folded in half while he had been talking to Kelly. He got that sinking feeling again in his chest that the envelope was bad news. He looked back up at Kelly and said, “Big Turkey asked me to give this to you.” As their fingers lightly brushed against each other he tried to ignore the warm tingle that shot through his body. “Kelly,” he said, wanting to see her eyes. When she looked up at him, he said, “Before you open that, just know… You’re great. Like, super great. Too great for Big Turkey. He didn’t deserve you.”

This sudden sadness invaded Kelly’s eyes and she peered down at the envelope, then back up at Andy. She gave him a small smile and said, “Thanks, Andy.”

He wasn’t sure why, but his heart broke a little for her. He usually wasn’t that sympathetic, but there was something about this Kelly chick that got to him. He wanted to comfort her, hold her, tell her she’d be alright… he could be her hero, babeh. Instead, he just drummed his fingers on her desk a few times, then put on a smile and said with his cracking British accent, “Girl Power!”

She laughed. And that was enough to make him feel like Enrique Iglesias.

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Kelly held the cold, silver piece of metal between her thumb and pointer finger. It was Ryan’s key to her apartment. And it felt so final, like this time they had broken up for good. And she just wanted to cry. She wanted to go home, eat a tub of ice cream, and cry herself to sleep. Because that’s what you were supposed to do when you lose the love of your life, right? But she had the stupid mandatory Dundies to go to, all by her stupid herself, and even though she wanted to cry because that was what you were supposed to do, she couldn’t feel any tears. She just felt empty. And alone.

When everyone started filing out of the office to drive to Chili’s for The Dundies, she heard Andy say, “Um, hey guys, my Xterra is in the shop. Battery. Anyway, I was wondering if any of you could give me a ride?” His eyes moved around the room, and when no one volunteered, he said, “Michael?”

“NO! I’m riding with Michael,” Dwight said smugly. “I’m his sound guy, I have to be with him at all times.”

Andy did that weird fake chuckle and said, “Well, duh, but I could sit in the back.”

“Sorry, Andy, that’s where the equipment is riding.” Dwight gave him that creepy smirk.

A look came over Andy then, that psycho “I’m going to kill you” look, but then he closed his eyes and did this dorky breathing thing. He opened his eyes again, pasted on the obviously fake grin, shrugged and said, “Hey, no biggie. Anyone else? Big Tuna?”

“Uh… yeah, sure, come on.”

Andy smiled and said, “All right! Andy and the Tuna!”

Kelly caught Jim giving the camera a “why me?” look on his way out the door. She smiled. She would have offered Andy a ride if Jim had said no, but she had known that Jim wouldn’t say no, he was too nice. And it turns out Andy wasn’t a total psycho freak like she thought he was. He was actually kind of… sweet, in his own dorky way.

When she got to Chili’s she saw Andy sitting in a booth by himself. “Hey, Tuna, over here, I got us a prime table,” she heard him say with a proud smile.

“Uh, actually me and Pam kind of wanted our own table. Thanks anyway.”

Andy’s smile disappeared and he said, “Oh, right, right, I knew that. I was just joking, duh.”

“Right,” Jim said. He and Pam went and sat at a table for two.

Andy looked like a deflated Charlie Brown float from the Macy’s Day Parade. For some reason it made her heart break a little. She decided to sit with Andy. They could be total losers together. “Hey, Andy!”

Andy looked up with wide eyes, then he gave her that big, dorky smile. Kelly just rolled her eyes and slipped into the seat across from him.

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Michael was amazing! He had made his entrance with the theme song from Rocky. Then he did this one totally awesome bit where he put on a Dolly Parton wig and sang “I Will Always Love the Dundies.” Genius. And Ping? Absolutely hilarious.

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Kelly couldn’t believe it. Andy was actually enjoying Michael’s act. He was even singing along to some of the songs. Kelly knew it should be annoying her, but it was actually kind of cute. In a totally dorky way, of course. Ryan had made fun of her last year for dancing and singing along to “I Want to Candy” (or really, “I Want Dundies”), but you can’t listen to that song and not totally belt it out. And Kelly found out later that Andy totally understood that.

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“Okay, question,” Andy said, already on his second margarita. “Whose story did you like best in Love Actually?”

“Oh my god, do you seriously even have to ask? Colin Firth’s, obviously. It was so super romantic. I mean, they never knew what the other person was saying, right? And they fell in love anyway. They had this connection that went beyond language. I always thought that me and Ryan were like that. Half the time we never knew what each other were talking about, but I still loved him.”

“Did he love you?” Andy asked.

He saw that sad, distant look in her eyes again. She shrugged and said, “I don’t know. Sometimes I think he did. He was just… he was always too busy waiting for something better to come along.”

Andy nodded his head and said, “But he already had the best.”

Kelly smiled.

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“And our next award is for a Mr. Andrew Bernard!”

A huge, excited smile spread across Andy’s face, and Kelly got excited for him. The Dundies may not mean anything to her, but she could tell that Andy was totally into it. But then Michael announced what the award was for.

“Dunder Mifflin’s wall punching psycho!”

Andy’s eyes lost that excited gleam that had made them so incredibly blue, and his smile turned into a grimace. He took a deep breath and pasted on that fake smile that Kelly was beginning to know too well. He walked up to Michael and shook his hand, then he said, “I thank you very muchly, Michael Scott. The Dundie is an incredible honor.”

“Mmm, okay… you’re very welcome! And the next Dundie…”

Kelly stopped listening. Andy slipped back into the booth with that deflated look again as he stared at the little businessman trophy. “I’m not that guy anymore,” he said quietly.

Kelly gave him a sympathetic smile, then she reached across the table and lightly squeezed his wrist. He looked up at her with those defeated blue eyes and she found herself saying, “I know you’re not.” She didn’t really. All she knew was that he had this hidden sweet side to him that liked the same music and movies that she did.

Andy smiled.

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Kelly drove him home that night. She had popped in her N’SYNC CD and they sang “Bye Bye Bye” about five times. Kelly actually had a sweet set of pipes. The Dundies had been totally awesome for the most part. Especially his company. The only downer was his award. He hated that people still thought of him as a psycho. He didn’t go to anger management for nothing, sheesh. He was a new man, he left the anger behind him. He just wished other people knew that. Oh well, at least he got an award, right?

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“Is this one your house?” Kelly asked as she stopped in front of a small, one story white house with reddish shutters.

“It is indeed!” Andy said. “Recognize the colors?”

“Um…” Kelly had no clue what he was talking about.

“Cornell! White and carnelian… they’re Cornell’s school colors.”

“Oh… um, cool?”

Andy just laughed and said, “Very cool, Miss Kapoor.”

Kelly rolled her eyes. He was being a dork again, but she didn’t mind it so much.

“So, thank you muchly for the ride in your carriage, my fair lady, and I will see you tomorrow,” he said.

Kelly laughed. He had a way of making the smallest things sound kind of romantic. She found herself leaning over and kissing Andy on the cheek.

Andy laughed nervously and asked, “What was that for?”

Kelly smiled and simply said, “For cheering me up.”

Andy smiled that humongous, dorky, proud smile, shrugged his shoulders and said, “No biggie.”

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A few days after The Dundies, Kelly walked up to Andy’s desk with a perky smile. She had her hands behind her back and she was bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet excitedly. Andy looked up at her with a friendly smile and said, “Hey.”

She didn’t say anything. She just revealed the trophy that she had been hiding and placed it on his desk. He laughed and picked it up.

“Dunder-Mifflin’s Greatest Cheerer Upper,” he read aloud. He let out a choked laugh, and when he looked back up at her, his blue eyes had filled with tears. And his huge, proud smile wasn’t quite so dorky anymore.



firthgal is the author of 10 other stories.



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