Disclaimer:  I do not own the characters of Jim Halpert and Pam Beesly.  The characters of Jim and Pam are the creation and intellectual property of a major media conglomerate which is unfortunate as otherwise I could make this story part of the actual plot of the season premiere and control everything that happens to them on this funny little television show I like to watch from time to time.

First Date

The knot in Jim's chest tightened as he reached for the buzzer.  Neatly typed above the small black button was the name "Beesly."  It still looked new.  He hesitated.  It was almost impossible for him to imagine this was really happening.  How had so much changed so quickly since he'd awoken that morning in New York...next to Karen?  But it had...it really had and, surprisingly he had no regrets.  Still, everything seemed to be moving so fast....even the ride across town had been a blur.  He was totally operating on adrenaline and maybe that was a good thing because if he actually slowed down to think about it, no telling if he'd keep his nerve.

He pressed his finger to the button.  After a moment, the door buzzed and he let himself in.  She lived on the second floor, down the hall to the right.  When he reached her door he took one final deep breath before knocking.  He really didn't know what to expect, but he knew one thing...in the pit of his stomach he knew this was it!  This was what he'd been hoping and dreaming for since he'd first met her and he was all too aware of the likelihood that after he knocked on that door, the rest of his life would never be the same.

The door opened.  Pam was stunning in a deep red, sleeveless blouse and black skirt that wasn't too dressy...and definitely flattered her figure.  Her curls flowed softly over her bare shoulders and all Jim could think was that he'd never seen her look this beautiful.

"Hi."  Her greeting was tentative but genuinely tender.  Jim sensed that she was just as nervous as he, but found it oddly comforting and it actually helped put him somewhat more at ease.

"Hey!"  The quiet gentleness in his voice seemed to reassure Pam as she let out a brief sigh and a familiar smile appeared, a smile he'd missed for too long.  As he stepped through the doorway, he offered Pam the bouquet of flowers he'd been hiding behind his back.  "These are for you."

Pam's eyes brightened in complete surprise and he thought he caught just a hint of something glistening in the corner of her eye as she took them and quickly retreated to the kitchen.  "Thanks Jim...let's get these in some water."  He watched her take a tall, narrow vase from one of the cupboards.  As she carefully removed the wrapping, Jim saw Pam purse her lips tightly...as if trying to hold her emotions in check.  It was only then that it dawned on him that it had probably been quite a long time since she'd gotten flowers from anyone. 

"They're beautiful!"  She returned holding the vase, now filled with a colorful array of yellow daffodils. As she neared, she stopped and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek and a whispered "thank you", then led him to the middle of a smallish living room where she placed the flowers on the coffee table.   The room had a picture window that overlooked a small park next to the river.

"Nice view!" 

"Yeah...I like looking out the window at the people in the park." The tenseness in her voice had softened but had not completely disappeared.  They were both trying to be a little too careful with one another and instinctively he knew he had to do something to take the edge off or this night probably wasn't going to work out the way he hoped.  Off to one corner Jim saw a small desk with drawing pads, some paints and a glass jar that held an accumulation of various sized brushes. 

"Hey, quite the studio Beesly!"  He pointed toward the desk and hoped the extra emphasis added to the intended irony of his tone.

Pam smirked but he knew right away she wasn't annoyed.  He'd seen that look too many times before and knew she hadn't missed his real meaning, "Okay Jim....very funny!"

"You know what Pam...you may only have that one kitchen, but a Scranton apartment with its own art studio and a river view...you can't really beat that!  Who needs Paris?"

Pam shook her head and rolled her eyes, "I know...I know...but I don't really have any other room and besides, the light's not really that bad during the day so..."

"So, I think it's great."  He interrupted her and smiled.

"Really?" 

"Yes Pam, really."  Jim watched as her own smile broadened in response and for the first time he started to let himself believe that it might be possible that things just might be going the right way.                           

Pam gave Jim the quick tour.  The apartment was small but with Pam's touch she'd managed to make it appealing and cozy.  The furniture was simple but tasteful, seemingly chosen for comfort.  There was a small dining nook just off the kitchen and Pam had adorned the dark wooden table with a colorful origami centerpiece.  Off the living room was a short hallway that led to a small storage closet and bathroom.  Her bedroom was at the very end and was painted in a muted off-white.  The bedroom furnishings were older, sort of fancier and when he mentioned it Pam explained that when she moved in, she'd been given her grandmother's bedroom set that her parents had been saving for her as a wedding present.                                                              

"Well Jim...that's about it.  Nothing fancy...but it's okay.  I really didn't have a lot of time to look for a place when I..." but Pam hesitated, cutting herself short. 

"Oh, you mean...when you ran away from home?" Jim finished the sentence for her.

She looked up at him and exhaled slowly, "Yeah....when I ran away from home."  Jim watched as she bit down on the corner of her lip, wondering what to say next.  "I guess we should be going, right?  Where are we having dinner?"

"Oh, dinner...yeah."  Jim checked his watch.  "We've got a few minutes still...I made the reservation for seven-thirty."

Pam looked at him, somewhat puzzled.  "You made reservations?  Where?  Jim, I'm not really dressed for somewhere real fancy...I thought you'd just want to do something casual...do I need to change?"

"Pam, you look absolutely beautiful!"  His words were slow, deliberate...and he realized it was the first time he had ever been able to say those words to her, despite all the times he'd wanted to.  He also realized that the gravity of his tone had somewhat unnerved her.  "You're fine...no need to worry."

"So where are we going?"

"Well...I know you like seafood so I thought about Coopers." 

"Oh...Coopers is nice but I don't think we need a reservation on a Thursday night, do we?"

"But we do need one where we're going for dinner tonight!"  He made it sound just a little coy.

"And just where, may I ask is that?"  Her playful tone was encouraging.

Just then, Jim's cell phone rang. "Okay, just let me get the buzzer" was all she heard him say.  Pam's furrowed brow betrayed her total confusion.

"We're dining right here...at Chez Beesly!"

"Chez Beesly?  What do you mean, Jim?"

"I mean Pam, we're dining right here...Coopers is coming to us!"

There was a knock on the door and as Jim opened it, an older but distinguished looking gentleman entered carrying two large bundles.  "Mr. Halpert...so nice to see you again."

"Nice to see you Anthony."

"And this must be Ms. Beesly?"

"Pam, allow me to introduce Anthony...from Coopers." 

Anthony placed the bundles on the short counter that separated the kitchen from the dining area, "It is very nice to meet you Ms. Beesly."

Still somewhat unsure of just what was going on Pam offered her hand, "Nice to meet you too, Anthony." She looked toward Jim and shrugged.  "Are you going to cook dinner here?"

Anthony laughed, "Dinner has already been prepared.  Mr. Halpert has selected our best seafood dinner with lobster, shrimp and fresh mushrooms sautéed in olive oil, rosemary, garlic and our very own seasonings.   It is very delicious and you will love it.   I only need to heat it up for you, really...it will only take a few minutes and then I'll be on my way and the two of you can enjoy yourselves." 

Jim saw that while Pam was still somewhat bewildered, she had relaxed and seemed to be warming to the idea.

"Would you like me to open the wine, Mr. Halpert?"

Jim heard Pam's soft giggle as Anthony called him by his surname. 

"I'll tell you what, Anthony...I'll take care of the wine while you heat the food."

"As you like...the wine is just outside the door."

Pam sat on the sofa as Jim retrieved the wine that was chilling in a small silver bucket filled with ice.  He saw the appreciative glow on Pam's face as he approached carrying the bucket and two glasses.  She gave him a big smile. "While you open the wine Jim, I'll put on some music...and how about some candles for the table?"  She seemed to have overcome the surprise of it all and was fully enjoying the experience.

"Not a bad idea."

After finding some appropriately soft music, Pam placed two long white candles in crystal holders on the table and lit them.  Anthony set the table as the food warmed and when everything was ready asked Jim and Pam to be seated while he prepared to serve.  Jim held Pam's chair and she lightly brushed his arm when he turned to take his own seat.  The gesture moved Anthony who observed them in silence as he brought the food to the table.

After the meal was served, and Anthony had left, Pam looked at Jim from across the table and gave him a slight nod.  "Jim, this is simply amazing...I can't believe you did this."

Jim smiled and raised his glass, "To first dates!" 

Returning his smile, Pam cocked her head and raised her glass as well, "First dates!" 

Dinner was wonderful...the food was delicious and the conversation flowed easily as they compared notes about the day's events.  Pam made Jim laugh uncontrollably, telling him about Dwight's short-lived reign as Branch Manager and nearly brought him to tears when she described her own ascendancy to Secret Assistant to the Regional Manager.  Jim's pride in Pam's eager willingness to carry on their tradition was unmistakable.  For her part, Pam was incredulous at finding out about Jan's firing and she told Jim that it probably explained Michael's odd behavior after he'd returned that afternoon.

"He wouldn't come out of his office?"

"No Jim, he wouldn't come out or answer any calls.  After he made his little ‘I'm baaack' speech, he went into his office and never came out.  But he was on the phone almost all afternoon.  He kept calling home...I think Jan's maybe staying there with him.  I knocked on his door a couple of times...you know, just to see how he was doing, but he only said he had a lot of things he was working on and that he couldn't be disturbed.  So after awhile, I just let him alone...but he was still in there when I left."

"Yeah, it was pretty intense when Jan was leaving...and Michael was trying to help her with all her stuff and Wallace was standing there...boy, talk about awkward.  I couldn't hear everything, but I think David said something about ‘going in a different direction' and you could see Michael's face just go all gray like all the blood just rushed from his head and then he said something about still having his job, here..."

"Hey, slow down Jim."

"Yeah, okay...but it was pretty intense and geez, I really did feel bad for him and Jan.  I mean, wow who saw that coming?"

Pam could only shake her head, not in disbelief but almost in resignation because as she thought about it, for Dunder-Mifflin, it really didn't seem that crazy at all.  "I wonder what's going to happen with them, now?"

Almost by instinct they each gave a small shrug and slightly shook their heads in unison.  Pam giggled and it was plainly evident to him just how thoroughly she was enjoying herself.  Her laughter made Jim happy and he laughed, too.  Not because he found anything really humorous in what happened with Jan and Michael that morning, but this was the first time in a very long time that he and Pam were actually laughing with one another, the first time in a very, very long time that he really felt like they were together.  It made him feel good and he hadn't felt that way for...well, he didn't want to think for how long.  As he gazed across the table, he saw that Pam had finished eating.  He also saw how intently she was beaming at him.

"Jim, this was great...the dinner, the flowers...the wine, everything...it was just great!  How did you ever think of this?" 

"To tell you the truth, I saw it in an old movie once...I always thought it seemed like a pretty neat thing to do."

"It was wonderful!"  Pam's eyes softened and this time she made no attempt to hide a small tear.  "I never thought...I just never imagined that you'd go to this much trouble."

"No trouble...it was fun, actually."

As Pam wiped the tear away she flashed a sly smile his way, "Jim...this was my best ‘first date' ever!" 

Jim laughed, but at the same time he felt a small lump form in the pit of his stomach.  So far it had turned out to be everything he'd hoped for and Pam was radiant.  It had been wonderful and he wanted it to go on forever.  This just seemed like the way it was supposed to be.  Ever since David Wallace had asked him that question earlier that day, about the long haul...he hadn't really been able to think about anything else, well not about anything else that wasn't related to thinking about him and Pam. 

"I just thought that it would be kind of weird for us to go out to some noisy restaurant with a lot of other people.  I mean that would be nice, it will be nice...but not tonight.  I wanted to make this special...it was just really important that this was special for you."

"It was Jim...it's been the best night I've had in a very long time."

"I'm glad...I'm really glad!  And I just thought that doing this would give us some time alone...."

"Yeah...it is nice that it's just the two of us."

"Well...I thought there were some things we might want to talk about and I figured it would be easier without a lot of people around."

Pam's expression suddenly changed and Jim sensed a mild concern.

"Look,  I wanted us to have a chance to be able to say some things that we probably need to say to one another.  I mean this isn't really like most ‘first' dates...at least none I've ever been on, and trust me, this isn't going to be anything like that other ‘first' date of yours.  And while, in a way this is all new, we've known each other for such a long time and cared about each other for a long time, too.  But what happened this past year was..." Jim fought to hold his emotions in check.  He'd planned this part of the evening as well...maybe ‘planned' wasn't exactly the right word but he'd figured during the ride back from New York that if he was going to try and make this work, no if they were going to try and make it work that he and Pam needed to be clear about some things.  Some seemed obvious and others maybe not so much. 

She'd started things that night at the beach, but he didn't want any big questions hanging over the start of their relationship.  And after David's question, when Jim had looked back to what Pam had said to him that night on the shore of Lake Scranton, he knew that was the only thing that really mattered to him...that he wanted that shot at a real relationship with Pam.  "It's just that if we're going to really do this, we can't be wondering about..." 

"About things that so far we've left unsaid?"  Pam reached for Jim's hand, never taking her eyes from his.

"Yeah." It was almost a whisper.

Pam slowly nodded in agreement as she thought about how similar words, said not that long ago, had changed her life forever.  The fact that in a way, those words had led here, to this very night gave her a sense of calm that surprised her. 

"Let's take a walk...it's a nice night and I think I'd like to walk along the river." Jim glanced across the room.  The sky was nearly a deep slate gray, but the hint of early evening light still hovered beyond the trees.

"I think I'd like that too, Jim.  I'll just clear the table."

"Don't worry about the dishes...I'll take care of them when we get back."

Normally Pam would have insisted, at least a bit, but this time she knew better.  She'd understood too, from the moment he'd barged into the conference room that afternoon and asked her out, that this night was not just about getting together for dinner...that it was not just a "date".  It could never be just that...not with Jim.  This was about them, about her and Jim and what they were...and wanted to be to each other.  The fact that this had even happened, the way it had happened left no doubt at all in her mind that finally, despite everything, she and Jim had a real chance.  She'd fought for this chance, her life had changed for this chance and she knew that it was important to get everything behind them...if they were to really make something of that chance. 

"Okay...let's go!"

                                                            ***

Jim gently placed his hand against the small of Pam's back, as he guided her through the small opening in the stone wall that guarded the entrance to the park.  As he did so, Jim felt her relax against his touch.  He smiled in the realization that she'd responded so naturally to his purely unconscious gesture. 

They strolled along the illuminated walkway that followed the river's path.  The Lackawana River meandered slowly through this part of Scranton.  With night descending and traffic at a minimum the sounds of the city were muffled by a few isolated bird whistles and the water lapping against the river bed.  Jim decided it was time to break the ice, "It's quiet!"

"Yeah, it is quiet.  During the day a lot of people like to bike along the path...but at night, it's usually pretty empty.  Some weekends, I come here to draw.  It's nice." 

Jim stopped and turned to Pam, "I had the job!"

Pam waited a second before responding, "I knew they'd pick you.  It would have been a total mistake to pick anyone else."

 "Is that why you wrote the note?"

"You know I've always believed in you Jim!  I've always thought you could do anything you wanted to do.  It was always me I had the doubts about."

"Yeah, I know...the internship, right?"

"That...and a lot of things..."

"Casino Night?" 

"That night especially...but you helped with that one."

"What do you mean?"

Pam weighed her words carefully.  She'd replayed that night over and over in her head a thousand times trying to understand why she'd reacted the way she had.  She wasn't really sure that she knew the full answer but she knew now was not the time to hold anything back.  "I know I had feelings for you that night.  Dammit Jim, I've had some kind of feelings for you ever since the day I first met you.  But I was engaged and I'd been with Roy so long that I just couldn't see that maybe I really did have a choice.  Roy wasn't bad to me...he wasn't right for me...but he wasn't bad to me, and we were engaged so I kept telling myself it was wrong to have feelings for someone else...to have feelings for you.  And that made it easier to go along like we were just good buddies and all that.  That's what I kept telling myself and I did a pretty good job of making myself believe it.  But that night when you told me that you were in love with me...it shook everything up.  I was supposed to be getting married in less than a month after being with Roy for almost ten years and you tell me you're in love with me...God, Jim what did you expect me to do?  Even after I kissed you, I was still too scared and freaked out to think that maybe that should have told me something right then and there."

"Yeah, you're right...I know my timing was terrible.  It's just that after you and Roy set the date...I felt lost.  I couldn't stand seeing you in that relationship knowing how I felt and believing that you could do so much better...even if it was without me.  Once I'd made the decision to leave, I guess I felt there really was nothing more to lose.  And I only intended to tell you that I was leaving, nothing more...but that night you were so beautiful and so..." Jim couldn't find the words but the quiver in his voice said everything, "I just said it...I never meant to, but I couldn't stop myself.  Maybe I thought that if I let you know that I loved you, that another man could be in love with you, you might come to see that you and Roy weren't a good match.  I don't even really think it was still about me at that point, but when you said ‘I can't' and not ‘I don't' I guess I needed to give it one final shot and that's when I decided to kiss you...that was definitely about me!  

"I know..." Pam's voice broke slightly, "when you held me in your arms and kissed me it was like nothing I'd ever felt before.  I knew I wanted you...I wanted you to keep holding me, to keep touching me, to keep kissing me... but at the same time I felt like it was completely wrong.  I let my brain tell me I was engaged and that I shouldn't be letting you kiss me...and that I shouldn't be kissing you back.  I let my brain tell me that...instead of listening to my heart tell me there must be something terribly wrong with me and Roy if I really didn't want any of it to stop!"

She turned away, but not before Jim saw another tear fall across her cheek.

"I'm sorry...I don't want you to cry."

"No Jim, I'm the one who's sorry.  I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough to be truthful with you that night.  Now, I know how much I hurt you but then, I only knew how scared I was." 

Jim had guessed things might get a bit emotional, so he'd grabbed one of the napkins...just in case.  He offered it to Pam and she accepted it without a second thought.

"So what made you finally call off the wedding?  I know at the beach you said it was because of me...but what actually made you do it?" 

Pam needed a moment to brush aside the tears.  "It was a week before the wedding and I had stopped at my parent's house before a little party my cousins were putting on for me, not a shower or anything, just a little dinner for the family.  I was in my old bedroom putting away some things that I had brought from the apartment that I thought I'd store at their house, things I didn't want to keep in the apartment once Roy and I were married...what with new gifts and everything.  I was just talking with my mom as I packed things and found places to keep them.  And then at one point she asked me what I was going to do about something that she was looking at in the box."

Pam choked up as she lifted her head to look at him, "It was your teapot."

Jim felt a bit of a lump form in his throat as he thought about how getting that gift for her had been so special to him.

"After you'd left without saying ‘good by', I sort of stayed pissed for almost two weeks and I took the teapot home because I didn't want to look at it on my desk anymore.  But I couldn't keep it at home either and I brought it to my folks' house with everything else.  So my mom's holding it and just looking at me.  Didn't say a thing...just looked at me."  Pam saw the confusion on Jim's face.  "She knew it was the one you'd given me at Christmas!" 

"How'd she know that?"

Pam gave Jim that look, "Duh!  Geez Halpert, I thought you were quicker than that!  She knew it was yours because I'd told her all about it.  I told her how Michael had switched Secret Santa to Yankee Swap and how I'd lost it and finally gotten it back from Dwight for the iPod.  So, I was sitting there on the bed with her staring at me and she just popped off the top and pulled out the boggle timer, the hot sauce, the tape and then your picture...and I just lost it...started balling like a baby."  

Pam couldn't hold back any longer and the tears began to flow freely.  After a few seconds she managed to compose herself.  "So my mom let me cry and then she put her arm around me and all she said was, ‘Baby, what are you scared of?'  There she was just sitting there, holding your damned teapot with everything you'd put inside completely laid out in front of me.  That's when I knew I couldn't marry Roy.  It was the moment I let myself believe that I didn't have to be scared to love someone who really cared for me...I didn't have to..."

Jim interrupted, "Are you scared now?" 

The question caught Pam off guard.  "Scared?  Yes, I'm still a little scared...but it's a different kind of scared.  I think this is a hopeful kind of scared because of what might be...instead of being scared because of what might not be.  As she said those words, the tears stopped and she actually let out a small laugh.  She thought she wasn't making any sense, but she saw that Jim was smiling and it made it seem okay.

"I'm scared too, but in the same way.  I'm only thinking about what might be!"  As he turned to resume their walk Jim offered Pam his hand and she readily accepted.  In that moment the burden of months and months of missteps, bad timing and misplaced silence seemed to melt away for both of them.

They just walked for a bit, fingers entwined.  Pam had longed for a moment like this, the two of them simply being together, nothing fancy...no bells or whistles...just her and Jim and the quiet solitude that came with feeling so good about someone.  And despite the conversation they'd just had, she did feel good.  It was a good start! Yes she was scared, she knew nothing was guaranteed, that life was a gamble...but she was no longer afraid of taking that gamble.  It was so opposite of the way she'd looked at things before.

"So, what about Karen?"  It was Pam's turn.

Jim had wondered when she'd get around to it. 

"Yeah...Karen."  He knew talking about Karen would be uncomfortable, but he also knew that nothing more could really happen until this got addressed, too.  "When I went to Stamford, the only thing that was really on my mind was trying to forget you.  I was really angry...I'll grant you that part of it was being angry with you about not seeing what could be...but mostly it was anger at myself for letting things get as far as they did.  You told me right up front that you had a boyfriend that very first time I took you to Cuginos and I knew you got engaged the first time and then I got reminded all over again on Michael's booze cruise.  So by the time you shot me down on Casino Night I had a pretty strong idea in my head that maybe I shouldn't be thinking about you almost every waking hour of my day!"

Pam didn't know why and she didn't really mean to, but she couldn't help laughing just a little as Jim spoke.

"Yeah, you can laugh now Beesly!"  But even he couldn't hold back a small grin.  "Karen was nice and we had some fun at work messing with Andy...you know ...an  old dog and new tricks and all that stuff... so we were kind of friendly.  We didn't date or anything, but I knew she kind of liked me.  But when I found out that I'd be coming back to Scranton I got panicky and when Karen asked me about possibly coming here, I did encourage her."

"You were panicky?"

"Yeah, you were still here and I really wasn't ready to deal with that."

"But you knew by then that I'd called off the wedding?  So what happened?"

"Yeah, I knew you'd called it off...but only because Kevin told me."

"But..."

"But you never called me...and by then I also knew that you were dating."

Pam's eyes went blank and she shook her head, "The cartoonist."

"The who?"

"This stupid cartoonist Kelly set me up with...you heard I was dating him?  But I only went out with him that one time...it was awful."

"It was at that convention when you called Michael, remember?  I was standing there when he told you to enjoy your date."

"So all you knew was that I'd shot you down on Casino Night, called of my wedding and started dating someone new...and that I hadn't called you."

"Yeah, I think that about covers it."

"I did try texting you one night, about a month after that date...but you never got back to me!"

"Really?   When was that?"

"It was the week after we had that long telephone conversation at the end of the day, you know... when you called looking for Kevin?   That was a really nice talk we had that night... you called me ‘Fancy New Beesly", remember?  I kind of thought you were going to ask me about maybe coming by to see my new apartment when we were talking...but you never did."

"Yeah I remember...that was a nice conversation.  We must have talked for close to an hour.  I thought you might invite me over and I was waiting for you to say something...but you cut me off with that quick ‘good by' so I thought you really weren't interested."

"Oh no Jim, that was Ryan and Dwight coming back late from a sales call...I was saying ‘good by' to them...I thought you wanted to end the conversation."

Jim and Pam could only stare at one another.  The sky had gone completely dark and there was only a hint of some stars through the haze of the city's lights. 

"So getting back to Karen, when it turned out we were both coming to Scranton, we started hanging out" 

"Hanging out?"

"Well at first it was pretty low key, but by the time we moved here a few days before our first day back at the office we'd been on a couple of dates.   I was really afraid about coming back and seeing you...I had no idea if you were dating someone or what?  I just knew that I had almost decided not to come back at all.  I didn't want to face you, so I jumped into a relationship with Karen because it was the easiest way to avoid dealing with the feelings that I still had for you.  Believe me, they never went away, never...but I did my best to push them as deep as I could and I looked to Karen to help me push."

"I'm not going to lie...because I'm never going to lie to you...I did like Karen.  I did care for her.  She's not a bad person.  And honestly, it only took me a couple of months to realize that I was never going to feel about her the way that I‘d felt, and still feel about you.  But I kept fighting those feelings because I hadn't heard anything that came directly from you...nothing that told me you were interested.  And then, when you left with Roy at Phyllis' wedding...I just told myself that was it."

The mention of Roy and Phyllis' wedding hit Pam especially hard, even though it had now been nearly two months since she'd put that chapter of her life behind her.  She completely understood what that had done to Jim...he'd made it all too perfectly clear that day when she had tried to apologize to him in the break room.  In many ways, Pam had come to see that conversation as the absolute lowest point between her and Jim, when he'd so callously thrown Roy back in her face.  "I thought you were going to ask me to dance at Phyllis' wedding, you know when we were talking at the bar?  But, you never did and then I saw you dancing with Karen and I figured you'd really decided to be with her and didn't want anything to do with me any more.  So, I let Roy take me home.  What a damned stupid mistake that was!" 

"I guess we both really messed up...didn't we?"

"Yeah Jim...we did mess things up pretty bad."

"God, we're a couple of idiots!"  Pam smiled nervously, but softly squeezed Jim's hand as a small sign of reassurance.

"Yeah, we really were...weren't we?"  Jim squeezed back and Pam breathed more easily.

They walked a minute or so more, mostly in silence before deciding to return to the apartment.  Trying to lighten things up, Pam shifted topics, "So...do you have any idea who did get the job?"

"Not at all!  I thought you guys might have heard something back here.  Once I said ‘no' and ended the interview I pretty much just tried to get back here as fast as I could without getting pulled over for speeding...maybe David needs to interview more people and hasn't decided.  I really don't know." Jim thought it would most likely be one of the other Branch Managers, "Maybe that guy Dan, you know... the manager in Buffalo?"

"I don't think I know who he is...I've heard the name and I know he's called before to talk to Michael...Dan Gore, right?"

"Yeah, Dan Gore.  I saw him at that cocktail party at David Wallace's...seemed nice enough."  Jim decided he needn't say anything more about Dan Gore or the cocktail party...that was a story for another night.  "I know it won't be that guy ‘Craig' from Albany...he's almost as bad as Michael."

Pam laughed, over the years Michael had probably told her more stories about ‘Craig from Albany' than anyone else who worked for Dunder-Mifflin, that is anyone other than his good buddy...Todd Packer.  "No, it won't be Craig.   Maybe they'll try to go outside... recruit someone from Staples or Office Depot?"

"Hey, maybe Josh would come back for Jan's job." Both Jim and Pam laughed at that one, albeit nervously.  They speculated about different people for the rest of the way back.  Pam even threw Toby's name into the mix.  Neither one mentioned Karen!

                                                                  ***

Back at the apartment, Pam switched on the small kitchen light and suggested Jim pour some more wine while she changed into something a bit more comfortable.  "You don't mind, do you?  I just want to relax a bit." 

"Go right ahead...you'll get no objections from me!" 

Knowing he wouldn't, Pam had already turned toward her bedroom, "Thanks...I won't be long."

Jim refilled each glass and placed Pam's on the coffee table as he took a seat on the sofa.  The candles had only burned down half way and with the streetlamps providing some added illumination he decided there really was no need to turn on any more lights...at least he was hoping there wasn't.

It was only a couple of minutes before Pam returned.  She'd changed into a simple pink jersey and khaki shorts.  She still looked beautiful. 

"You do look more comfortable."

Pam smiled as she picked up her glass, "Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good tonight."

Her words had a hauntingly familiar ring, but Jim let it slide without comment...better to not tempt fate...wasn't that the expression?  "Maybe it's the wine?"

Pam smiled, "It's not the wine.  Hey, would you like something...I've got some cheese and crackers?"

"No, I'm good, really."

"Okay!"  Stepping around the coffee table, she stood next to him, "Scooch over and let me sit down."

There was plenty of room, but he figured a request is a request so he slid over into the corner.

Pam wasted no time, gliding in and snuggling up next to him.  Her hair was soft against his shoulder and had that familiar smell.  Jim hadn't expected this.

"I'm having just the best time, Jim!"

Her voice was calm, cheerful.  Jim also detected a sense of confidence and that pleased him. 

"Me, too." 

They sat quietly sipping wine and listening to the music that was still playing on Pam's computer.  And they talked about things they'd missed.  They talked about inventing fake diseases and breaking Andy's brain...about telekinetic powers and staplers in Je-llo. They talked about Jim's impressions, Jinx and sharing a can of Coke.  And they talked about another night when they'd shared grilled cheese sandwiches, watched some fireworks and swayed to some different music. 

It was the perfect way to reconnect, to salve the pain they'd each brought on themselves.  But surprisingly there seemed to be no pain left, so they laughed and giggled and nudged until they sort of melted into one another, Pam's head resting on his chest and Jim's arm curled around her shoulder.  

"I'm not that same girl I was a year ago, Jim!"

"I know."  Jim gently stroked her hair while Pam's finger traced slow circles on his forearm. 

"So what happened with Karen this morning, in New York?"  Pam let her hand slip away. 

"After I told David that I wouldn't be taking the job, I met her at a little bistro where she'd made plans to have lunch with some of her friends.  When I asked her to join me at a separate table because we needed to talk, she had a pretty good idea about what I wanted to say."

Pam listened intently but didn't raise her head from Jim's chest.

"We'd sort of actually talked about it the night before...about you and me."

"You and Karen talked about us?"

"Well, not directly but Karen let me know that she didn't see any future for her and me if I came back to Scranton."

"Because of me...right?"

"Well Pam, she was there on beach day...and she did tell me what you said to her in the break room."

"What about you, Jim?  What did you see as your future?"

Jim paused.  He knew the answer.  In his own mind he'd been clear about that since he walked out of the interview that morning, but he needed to make sure that what he told Pam left no room for doubt or misinterpretation.  "I knew where my future was the moment I saw the gold medal!  I knew I had to come back...because I knew my future could only be with you!"

She gripped his hand tightly, as though she couldn't let go.  Pam's heart pounded against his chest and Jim had to choke back the emotions he felt coming on...emotions that had built up over all the months since he'd returned to Scranton and fought so hard against everything he really felt.  He was free of all that now, free of the anger, the confusion...the fear.  He pulled her closer.  She felt warm and soft and wonderful.  Jim's eyes closed and he let himself surrender to just how right the moment seemed. 

Pam stirred against him, "Jim?"  Her voice was muffled against his chest.  Slowly, she turned her gaze upward.

"What?"  His response was barely a whisper. 

"Are you back?"

Their eyes met.  Jim could only wonder at the feeling that washed over him as he looked so deeply into everything she had to give.  She was holding nothing back, not any more.  Her words were more than a question...they were a declaration.  He'd known what they meant that night at the beach...and he knew what they meant now.

"Yes!"   

Pam reached for Jim's face drawing him to her.  Her lips brushed his, nibbling, teasing... encouraging his response.  A surge of warmth coursed through his body as he pressed his lips to hers and his pulse raced when he felt the first soft thrusts of her tongue.  Their   bodies pushed gently against one another...no resistance, no hesitation...and no turning back.  

"Jim...I'm in love with you!"

He'd wanted to hear those words for so long...and now she'd said them.  He'd believed it all along, deep down he really had...but now, Pam had found the way to believe it, too....for herself.  They were the sweetest words Jim had ever heard.  This was the way it should be...the way it was going to be.