Jim is leaning over the reception desk talking with Pam, a habit that he hasn't broken since they started dating. He had thought maybe he wouldn't have such a need to conspire with him once he saw her frequently outside of the office, but he had been very wrong.
Pam was definitely what kept things lively for him at Dunder-Mifflin. Well, Dwight's presence helped in its own way.
Dwight had come in with a rifle that morning, and it stood leaning against Dwight's desk. Toby had immediately walked up to Dwight when he entered with it, but seemed defeated before he even started. Jim had known it had been a mistake to start down that slippery slope when Dwight had been allowed to keep the Christmas goose in the office.
"Dwight, c'mon. I already took your other weapons. You know a hunting rifle is not appropriate for the workplace."
"I am going on a hunting trip after work. I have always voiced my disapproval of the lackluster security at this office. This hunting rifle has been in the Schrute family for three generations, and is incredibly valuable," Dwight told him in his usual fashion.
"Is it loaded?" Toby asked.
"No, it is not."
"Fine, whatever. Just don't bring in any loaded weapons," Toby said with a sigh and walked back to his corner of the office.
Toby had missed it when Dwight had grinned evilly at the cameras and pulled ammunition out of his pocket. "It's not loaded...yet," Dwight told the cameramen within Jim's earshots. Jim gave the cameras the reaction they had expected.
"Seriously, Dwight. I don't want to look at a gun all day," Jim said, irritated.
"Fact: It is much more than a gun. It is a precision hunting instrument that could take down any predator in the blink of an eye. I am ready for the day to protect anything that comes at me or anyone at this office. Or to kill a deer this weekend."
"Can you please at least not load it? I really don't want to think of you with a loaded weapon," Jim said.
"That's what she said," Dwight told him with a grin.
Jim laughed. "I do imagine that is what most women would say to you."
Dwight looked confused and then realized what he had said. "Whatever. Toby told me I can keep the gun for the day. And you might need protection again, so you should be grateful."
Jim sighed, and decided to leave the conversation, which is when he had moved over to talk with Pam.
Pam smiled at him. "It looks like Dwight is armed and dangerous. Should I be worried for your safety?" Pam asked.
"I think so. Can you even imagine what he must be like out hunting?" Jim asked.
Pam giggled and leaned closer. "I think you should invite yourself along and see."
"Not even if you bet me ten thousand dollars, Beesly," he told her.
Pam then got a gleam in her eye, one that Jim years ago had learned meant trouble. "How about on a dare?"
"How old are we?"
"I think we deemed that question irrelevant to the world of dares. Suck it up and invite yourself on the hunting trip. I dare you," Pam said.
Jim looked at her, astonished. "You do understand this hunting trip will take the whole weekend, and we won't see each other at all?"
Pam shrugged her shoulders. "I think I'll manage. I'll kick back, watch some chick flicks and think of you out being the most manly man you can be. With Dwight," she smirked.
"You are unbelievable," Jim said. He was both appalled and awed.
"And I know he'll try and resist, so use some of those Halpert mind tricks on him to get him to agree," Pam told him. Jim felt his last argument go out the window.
Not believing he would actually do this, even on a dare, he approached Dwight.
"Hey, Dwight. I have a favor to ask you," Jim said.
"I do not do favors. If this is an order from you as ARM, I have no choice but to accept," Dwight told him.
"Well, it is not in my duty as ARM. But I do want to appeal to your sense of civic duty here."
Dwight looked skeptical, but a bit honored as well. "I'm listening."
"I am finding I am not much of a real man," Jim began.
"Duh," Dwight said. Jim clenched his jaw.
"One thing that makes me feel like less of a man is that I know nothing about guns or hunting, and I was hoping you could teach me," Jim said.
"And how does this appeal to my sense of civic duty? It sounds like you are just trying to prove yourself worthy of Pam. Which you're not, by the way," Dwight told him.
"I think it would behoove you and the office if there were more than one trained marksman that worked here. What if you weren't here one day?" Jim asked.
"Fact: I am always here. Except when I'm not, but then I would still have the Schrutte sense to get here quickly in a time of danger," Dwight told him.
"I'm sure that's true. But what about some backup for extreme situations, like multiple wolves?"
Dwight looked thoughtful. "It would be difficult to try and take down multiple wolves."
"Exactly. So what do you say?"
"I will train you this weekend. You will spend the weekend hunting deer with me. I hope you understand how valuable this training is," Dwight told him gravely.
"I do, and I'll find some way to pay you back," Jim told him.
"I will not accept anything. We have already discussed how a citizen does not take gifts or payment for being a good citizen," he told him.
Jim just nodded, trying not to groan in frustration.
He turned around and headed back to Pam's desk. "Tell Michael I had to take the afternoon off. It seems I am heading to the hunting section of Wal-Mart," Jim said.
Pam's eyes grew wide, and she covered her mouth so as not to laugh too hard.
"Yeah, it's all funny Beesly until someone gets killed. I am almost sure one of us won't make it back alive," Jim said.
"Oh, c'mon. I bet you'll just kill some deer. Then you guys can go an make some jerky out of it. I hear nothing bonds men like smoking meat," Pam told him, clearly enjoying his suffering.
"You had better be planning some wonderful reward for me after I fulfill this dare," Jim told her.
Pam shook her head. "I think this is a service to the office. And a citizen should not expect payment or rewards for being a good citizen."
Jim leaned in and kissed her lightly goodbye. "I really hate you."
Pam waved at him, amazed at the lengths this man would go to in order to make her happy.
Story Notes:
For some reason while watching my S3 DVDs, as I had this sudden great yearning to see Jim go hunting with Dwight. I just couldn't figure out how to get him out there.
But what if Pam dared him? That's really just too powerful of a motivation, isn't it?
But what if Pam dared him? That's really just too powerful of a motivation, isn't it?
Author's Chapter Notes:
This is set sometime after The Job, with the assumption that Jim and Pam are a couple. Will they still have to mess with Dwight, and with each other once they find happiness? I think the answer is a resounding yes. So, please enjoy!
Chapter End Notes:
I own nothing. Nothing at all.
Please let me know what you think!
Please let me know what you think!
