Angela’s fingers slowly slid down the page of her Bible to her white comforter. She noticed that her thumb had gripped the corner so long and so tightly that the thin paper had curled under her perspiration.

She sighed.

Her legs were still sore from Michael’s ridiculous “Fun Run,” and try as she might, she couldn’t focus on her nightly passage reading. It was all just too much. Too much hurt and too much loss…..she just wanted to go to sleep and find some peace.

After she had placed her Bible in the nightstand, and clapped off her lamp, she settled down into bed, shut her eyes tightly, and willed herself to sleep………..

Suddenly, there was a bright white flash, like lightning, and Angela opened her eyes. There, hovering over her bed was Sprinkles. Her fur so white it was almost blinding, and it seemed like an inner glow illuminated her aura.

“Hello Angela.”

“Sprinkles?!” Her voice was rough, constricted in surprise. She sat up quickly, back against the headboard, and gripped the comforter with both hands tightly.

“Yes. It’s me, Sprinkles.”

She tried to reach out and touch her, but her fingers went through her as though she was a hologram on one of those stupid science fiction shows.

“I’m only a vision Angela. I’ve passed on.”

“Are-are you in….Cat Heaven?” She asked nervously.

“Yes, I am. I know you have a lot of questions, but I don’t have a lot of time. And there are things you need to know.”

“Why are you speaking English?”

“All cats in Cat Heaven speak English to each other. Well, except the Persians, they speak Farsi…but the Calicos translate for them. It’s much more dignified than meow-ing.”

“What’s it like?…Cat Heaven, I mean.”

“It’s all carpeted…though it’s green…”

“Oh.”

“Yeah…but there are plenty of things to claw and climb on. There’s catnip everywhere…and all the other cats are the pinnacle of morality and gentle.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I met a Catholic-Mexican named Pedro, and a Baptist-American named Fluffikins. Well, actually, Fluffikins is a Saint, so he has wings.”

“Sprinkles! I taught you better than to cavort with male cats and Catholics!”

“In Cat Heaven, there is no vice Angela, only virtue. There is no intimacy, there is no need, because we are all connected.”

She smiled. “But how? How are you here? How did you make it to Cat Heaven?”

“Well, that is why I’ve come back to you now. I was granted passage into your dreams because of how I died…and also because St. Fluffikins knows Miss Snugglepants, who is the gatekeeper. Oh, and also, it’s not ‘Cat Heaven,’ it’s actually called “The Garden of Feline Delights” or…G.O.D. for short.”

“So...how did….how are you in G.O.D.?”

“Because Angela….because I didn’t die of natural causes….I was MURDERED!”

Angela paused and was silent for a few seconds. “I know, Dwight told me.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“That is unfortunate….. What did he say happened?”

“He said that he sang you your favorite songs, and you fell asleep peacefully because he fed you antihistamines.”

“That is a lie! Angela, don’t believe him! I knew there was a reason that I came.”

“But…you said that you were murdered? I thought….”

“My favorite songs?! My favorite song is ‘The Battle Hymn of the Republic’ because I love America and God. Wha…do you know what he sang me?”

Angela didn’t want to answer, Sprinkles looked so upset, but she had no choice. “What?”

“I don’t even know! It was very loud and angry. It was something about running for cover and cowboys…and standing tall….I didn’t like it!”

“That sounds awful! I-I can’t believe he lied to me.”

“It gets worse! You know how I only drink Poland Spring water, chilled to between 44 and 48 degrees?”

Angela nodded. Of course she knew.

“Well, whatever he put in my bowl was not that! Its stung when I lapped at it, and burned all the way down. It smelled like cheap whores…..or what I would imagine cheap whores would smell like.”

“Why did you drink it, Sprinkles?”

“My cataracts! It looked clear, so I drank it. Then I got really dizzy. I’m not sure what happened, but suddenly my tummy ached, and it was very cold.”

“Oh my merciful Lord in heaven. You must have been so scared!”

“I was Angela. I was groggy when I woke up, and then I threw up. But it was dark and cold, and I tried to claw my way out, but there were so many French fries….and…”

Angela watched as Sprinkles was overcome with emotion.

Then, suddenly she began to fade.

“Sprinkles!”

“Angela! I don’t have much time! I want you to know….I want you to know that you were my best friend, and the best master I could ever have prayed for. But….I have one request before I go back to the G.O.D.”

Angela felt hot tears stream down her face as she replied. “Anything Sprinkles, anything.”

“Avenge me!”

“What?”

“Avenge me, Angela! Dwight K. Schrute murdered me! He has to pay for what he did, and not just before God in his final hour, but here and now.”

“But….I don’t know how…I mean, I’m going to break up with him! It will devastate him, I know it will. No other woman would put up with...Mose, and that farm!”

Sprinkles continued to fade, and she was almost completely gone now.

“Not enough…you…have…..to make him jealous….in the office…..emasculate him....."

“With whom?” Angela asked desperately, almost pleadingly.

“……..Andy………..Bernard……….”

With a flash of light, Sprinkles disappeared.

Angela sat straight up in bed, lungs hungry for air as she gasped uncontrollably. Sprinkles! God, in his infinite wisdom, had allowed them to talk again. And, now she knew what she had to do. What Sprinkles would have wanted.

She looked over quickly at her clock, it was 8:28. It was entirely inappropriate to call someone at such an hour….but she had to.

The phone rang.

“He-llooo?”

“Andy, this is Angela Martin, from Accounting.”

“Oh, hey Angela, how are you feeling?”

“I’m doing better now, thank you. I was wondering if you were free tomorrow night for a friendly dinner. I have a coupon for Coopers, and we could go dutch.”

There was a long pause on the other end of the line.

“I would like that muchly Angela.”

“Very good. I must get to bed, but I will let you pick me up tomorrow at 6 o’clock.”

“Well then, 6 o’clock it will be.”

“Good night Andy.”

“Good night Angela.”

She put down the phone and smiled.