I'm not sure when it all went to hell.

In the beginning, she was all mine.

She was Miss Artsy-Fartsy. Wearing turtlenecks, hanging out with all the other art weirdos. She used to just stare at me in the hall. If I stared back, she'd look away.

We sat next to each other in study hall one year. Not really sure how I got assigned there. My other football buddies were in a different class. Anyway, she used to draw. One day I asked her what she was drawing. She wouldn't look me in the eye at first when she spoke. It was kinda cute.

One day she drew me. That day her eyes met mine. I noticed they were nice eyes. Nice eyes in a pretty face.

She handed me one of her drawings one day. Her hand brushed mine. She turned all kinds of red.

I was going to ask one of the cheerleaders to the homecoming dance. She had told my buddy she liked me but turned out the quarterback asked her first.

She asked me in study hall if I was going to the dance. I told her I didn't really like to dance. But if she wanted to go and hang out, we could go together. She smiled at me. She had a great smile.

She wore a pretty dress. It wasn't one of those slutty dresses. It was nice. Kept some mystery about her.

That was it. I never really asked her to go steady. We just started hanging out together. She helped me with math. I took her to the cool parties.

My parents liked her. She was a "nice" girl, they said.

She was nice. Some girls in school were just so bitchy. Who needs that? She was friendly to everyone. My buddies used to wonder why I was with her. She just grew on them though. She was like one of the guys. But better.

I was her first. I let her think she was mine. It was almost true anyway and she'd never meet the other girls. They were both from out-of-state.

I graduated first. Thought about college, but I blew my knee out senior year. Without a scholarship, it wasn't an option. I got a job in a warehouse.

It was a crappy job but I started doing side jobs with a buddy. He was a roofer. We talked about going into business.

Pam graduated. She could have gone to a lot of schools. But she stayed local. To be close to me, she said. I was glad she was going to college.

She stayed at my place a lot. On the weekends I worked side jobs. She did her art thing.

My roofer buddy fell one day. He got better but he moved away. Married a girl from Ohio.

My weekends were free again. She didn't do her art stuff much when I was home.

I got a better job at a different warehouse. Asked her to move in with me. Her parents didn't like that. So I asked her to marry me.

She moved in. She was happy. She wanted to save money for the wedding so she quit school. She was going part-time by then anyway. It would've taken forever to finish her degree. I told her she could go back later.

I got her a job where I worked. We could commute together and she could make some money. It was working out great.

She didn't like it at first. I told her it would take a while. After the first month, she started to perk up again.

She liked to go out with the folks upstairs for drinks. I went out with Darryl and the guys so it worked out great.

She asked me to set a date. I told her we'd talk later. She always tried to ask me when a game was on.

I had a couple too many drinks one night and finally set a date. In front of everyone. She cried.

She started working late more. She was happy so I didn't ask. She was mad when she couldn't do that internship though. I told her we couldn't afford it now. She could do it later.

Then there was that night. I left. Told her I'd see her later. I asked Halpert to keep an eye on her. Turns out he had been all along.

Guess I should have been the one keeping an eye on her.

At the end, she told me she couldn't wait for later anymore. Later was too late.

At the end, she wasn't mine and I still don't know when it went all to hell.