“I need to talk to you in the kitchen.” She whispered in his ear causing the hair to stand up on the back of his neck. He knew the cowardly way he dumped her over the phone on the way back to Scranton would not be the end of this, but that didn’t mean he was looking forward to the fall out any more.
He gave one firm nod, but she was already walking swiftly away from him. He rolled his lips in to his mouth and shook his head at the camera, walking to the closing kitchen door.
“Hey…” he said lamely, scratching the back of his neck.
“No. You’ve had your say. Now it’s my turn.”
Another firm nod.
“How dare you?”
His eyebrows knit. Oh, my. This was going to be so much worse than he’d imagined. He had absolutely no line of defense.
“So you’re all sparkly over Pam. Yeah, I got that. I got that a while ago. Which is why I asked you directly about your feelings for her. About your intentions with me. Did you just think you could lie and continue lying and the building lies would equal a great future for us?”
There was a pause. She expected him to answer that. She expected him to answer that?
“How do you expect me to answer that?”
She almost rolled her eyes, “I can’t even believe you! Not only did you dump me and leave me in a city 200 miles away, you don’t even have a reasonable answer for leading me on for months. Months, Halpert!”
He could tell she was mentally kicking herself for using his last name, a usual term of endearment.
“What kind of a fucking petty teenage girl do you take me for?” She looked up at him, all wide-eyed like a boy being yelled at by his mother. He seemed so weak. And pathetic. Yet not having him in her life anymore was making her feel so broken.
“Just…give me something. Something besides; ‘I just don’t think this is working. I think I might still have feelings for Pam.’” It was almost word for word what he’d said to her on the phone.
“I…” he was defeated.
“At least own up to it Jim!” he grimaced at the use of his given name, “It was always her. I was just a placeholder. My God! Someone you could—fuck?—until she decided she wanted you?” Saying it out loud was hard. Made her feel like garbage. Made her hate him so bad.
Made him hate himself so bad. It was true. He was that guy. He’d been that guy for three years now. He’d done it to Katy, a few others, but none were as awesome as Karen. None had gone as far and as deep as Karen. He really did have feelings for her. They were just muted in comparison to what he felt for Pam.
“I’m better than that. I’m—” Shit. She was going to cry. She swallowed the emotion threatening to release itself and continued, “Why couldn’t you have let me go when I asked? Why did you drag it on so long?”
He opened his mouth to answer but nothing came out. She waited still, her shining eyes boring in to him.
“Karen, I—I’m sor—”
“You know, I’d rather not hear it. But, I just—I hope you don’t think I’m just going to cower away like a fucking wounded dog. I am great at what I do here. Better than you. And I’m not throwing away my career because you dumped my ass.” She opened her eyes wider to accommodate the increasing wetness. She could tell he could see through her anger to the other emotions she’d rather not explore. He was nothing if not intuitive. It was one of the things that had drawn her to him. One of the things that made him such an incredible lover. He…She stomped her foot, pissed that her mind was working against her.
“Karen…”
“Fuck you.” She shook her head walking in to the bathroom and locking herself in a stall. She allowed a total of ten tears to fall before exiting, splashing some water on her face, and returning to her desk. Jim was no longer in the office. Neither was Pam. She took a breath and walked toward the break room to get a Diet Coke. She’d already let the door swing shut behind her when she noticed Pam sitting in the corner, texting someone.
“Hey…” Pam stumbled at a greeting.
“Listen, I—just don’t want to deal with it, okay?”
Pam nodded. Not having Jim sucked. But she had no idea what not being wanted by Jim felt like.
Try as she might Karen couldn’t be mad at her. She’d obviously had a thing for him. He just tried to resist it. And…okay she probably could be mad at her but she decided it wasn’t worth it. After popping the top on her soda she walked back out the door and back to her desk.
At around eleven she decided to take an early lunch, grabbing her purse and walking to the door. She took the stairs down and walked through the glass door only to hear him. She stayed in the alcove hoping he was getting in his car.
“So. Of course she’s pissed. And. She’s not leaving, so.”
“Well, I mean, she enjoys working here. Which…is more that I can say for you.”
Of course they were both out here. Together. And of course he was laughing.
“I just—It’s gonna be awkward.”
“Not that bad. Just, don’t treat me any differently at work.”
“Really? Four years of wanting, and now that I have, I can’t touch?”
She was going to be sick. She walked swiftly to her car and slammed the door, not even bothering to look in her rear view mirror as she pulled out of the parking lot. She called her girlfriend in Brooklyn first and told her something had come up. That she'd need to stay there for a few weeks. Her second call was to the maintenance department of the office park. She’d be in at 8 p.m. to collect her things
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I like Karen. I like Jim. I like Pam. I like Jim/Karen. I like Jim/Pam. You can see how torn I am. And there's not enough Karen-as-a-real-person fic out there. Also, this is for sherlockelly.
beruco is the author of 13 other stories.
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