Italian food
“I can’t believe they actually showed us how to shovel manure to help fertilize beets…ewww” Pam said swirling her spaghetti noodles around on her plate, while Jim watched an amused expression on his face.
They were sitting in the cozy new Italian restaurant, discussing their unusual stay at Dwight’s Beet Farm Bed and Breakfast. Neither of them seemed to feel quite so bad laughing about the experience now that Dwight was back to his usual self.
“Agreed. I mean the place was just incredible,” Jim recalled, an amazed expression on his face. Pam laughed lightly to herself. She was still reeling a little from Jim just walking up and kissing her full on in front of the whole office today. She had been unable to stop grinning most of the afternoon, but she was still curious as to what had brought on such a gesture, especially considering Jim had only moments before been talking to Dwight. Pam wasn’t entirely sure whether to be flattered or disturbed by this.
“I rather enjoyed the irrigation room. Oh and I especially loved the Dwight Schrute bedtime story reading of Harry Potter before bed. That was totally ingenious by the way” Pam said, looking up at Jim and smiling. He met her gaze with a grin of his own.
A comfortable silence fell between them, Jim took another bite of his lasagna, and continued to watch Pam swirl her spaghetti. He knew the question was coming; that the fact that he had kissed her in front of the whole office had been on her mind the entire afternoon. He just wasn’t sure what he was going to tell her.
“So,” Pam began, breaking the silence, “what did you actually say to Dwight?” She paused, looking up at him, a little nervous look on her face. She hurried on smiling slightly, “I mean whatever it was worked magic. He seems to be back to his normal diabolical self again.”
“Yeah” Jim chuckled, but he did not immediately look up to meet her gaze. He knew she needed some sort of explanation about what he had said. And deep down he knew that despite the fact they had been able to avoid talking much about the past, he needed her to know about the darkest period of his life. She needed to understand what she was to him, and the paralyzing feeling of knowing that he couldn’t be with her had torn him apart.
“Well,” Jim began, raising his eyes to hers which were staring back at him inquiringly. “I just told him what it was like when I lost you” he paused, taking in the concerned, sad look on Pam’s face “I told him that I couldn’t focus on anything, that even food didn’t seem to have taste, and that I moved to Stamford to try to get away from it…from you.” He paused. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he needed her to know just what this meant to him. What it would always mean to him, no matter what happened.
“Leaving Scranton was one of the hardest, most painful things I’ve ever done, but the idea of staying here and watching you marry another man was worse. It was torture Pam, everyday knowing that I couldn’t really be with you. Not the way I wanted to be,” here he paused, worried he might frighten her with the intensity of his words but he pushed on, “So I left. I ran away from what I couldn’t face.” He could tell Pam was reeling a little from this confession, as she looked down to her lap. When she raised her eyes to his again, he could see them welling with tears.
“Hey,” he said quickly, smiling weakly, “we’re here now. That’s what matters”
She let out a breath that she had seemingly been holding since he had begun speaking, “yeah, I know, I just,” she paused, looking down again, “I’m so sorry Jim. I never meant to hurt you like that,” she looked up at him again “I mean, I knew that it was hard for you, but I had no idea…I mean you came back to Scranton and you were with Karen…I guess I thought you had just moved on without much of a second thought about it.” She shrugged her shoulders sadly, a defeated look in her eyes.
“I was with Karen because I was afraid to face you alone,” he said candidly, “We had only been dating a few days before I got back to Scranton.” He paused again. He needed her to understand why he had done what he had done, but he was having trouble finding the words.
“Pam, I had no idea what to expect when I came back. I mean, I knew you weren’t with Roy, but I also knew you had been on a few dates with other people, so I thought you were pretty much over what had happened, and I knew I couldn’t face you alone.”
She let out a short, sad laugh. “I thought when you came back I had been given a second chance to make things right. But within the first day it was clear to me that you weren’t really…there. Accepting that you were there, in Scranton again, but that you’d moved on was unbearable.” Pam paused slightly, a small smile on her face, “hence my outburst at the beach.”
“Yeah,” he said chuckling slightly, “Wow, that was something,” he said teasingly.
“Shut up,” she said, a broad grin spreading across her face.
Another silence fell between them as Pam placed her napkin on the table. Jim reached out with his hand and touched hers lightly, running his thumb over her knuckles, seemingly deep in thought. Pam looked from their hands to his face again, only to see him concentrating on his own thumb’s movement over her fingers.
“I never stopped.” Jim said quietly, his gaze still intently fixed on their hands.
“Stopped what?” Pam asked softly.
Jim looked up into her eyes, and Pam could see a blaze of determination there. “I tried so hard Pam. I tried so hard to let you go,” he paused slightly, “But I couldn’t do it. I never stopped loving you.”
Pam’s breath caught in her throat. Jim’s eyes were piercing her own, searching for something. A confirmation that she knew, that she understood, and that she loved him in return.
“Jim…” she began in a whisper. She had no idea what to say next, or what to do. Here he was taking a giant leap again, and all she could do was stare at him dumbly.
He waited, holding his breath. He knew this wasn’t entirely fair of him to bring up now, but he needed her to understand how much this meant to him. That he was all in.
Pam broke eye contact, looking down at the table. Then a slow smile started to spread across her face. He loved her. Still. After everything they had been through. Deep down she had know that he had never really given up on her. And lately she had begun to see it everyday in the way he smiled at her, and in the depths of his eyes when he would look at her. But to hear him say it again; to hear him take that risk was incredible to her. So incredible, she couldn’t contain her happiness. She looked up it him, smiling in earnest now, and she saw a grin begin to pull at the sides of his mouth. She knew he needed one more thing though. He needed to hear what he had been wanting to hear for so long but had been prevented.
She took a deep breath, saying softly “I love you too” She saw the look of shock flit across his eyes. Shock that she was really saying this to him. She smiled even wider, and nodded, confirming that he had understood her right.
He shook his head slightly with a small, amazed laugh, “Wow. So there it is.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.” Jim nodded, a smile quickly breaking across his face. “Man I really love Italian food.”
Pam chuckled lightly, “Me too.”
*End*
Story Notes:
I'm really new at this, as in I just now got up the courage to join this wonderful little community and post a little something of my own that I've been working on. I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks for reading and please review if you feel so inclined!
PBeesly Sweater is the author of 10 other stories.
This story is a favorite of 6 members. Members who liked Italian Food also liked 2218 other stories.
