“Look,” Kelly tried again, cornering Pam by the vending machine, “I realize now Alan might have been a little too sophisticated for you –”
“Sophisticated? Really?”
“But the thing is, if you want to catch the biggest fish in your pond, you need to stretch your fin once in a while. You know, show off a little more gill –”
“Okay, can you cut the aquatic metaphor now? It’s freaking me out.”
“Sure, whatever. So I fixed you up another date. Tomorrow night. No, no, no, don’t even,” she gestured to silence Pam before she could protest. “Look, I’m just trying to help you out, okay? Believe me, you need the help. Besides, you’re gonna love Jack. He’s a friend of Ryan from business school and he’s totally cute. If we weren’t together, I’d definitely go after him. I’m pretty sure he was flirting with me the other night when Ryan was in the bathroom, anyway.”
“I’m not sure that –”
“Oh, don’t worry, Pam, I’m sure he’ll be into you too, if you’d only, you know,” Kelly paused to wrinkle her nose, looking pointedly at Pam’s buttoned up blouse and sweater. “Dress your age? Have you ever considered wearing makeup?”
“I am wearing makeup right now,” she replied patiently.
“Really? I could never tell. Hey, you know what? I’m gonna do your make up.”
“No. No! Absolutely not.”
“Oh, it’s gonna be fun!” Kelly squealed, pressing her hands together. “You know, like a girls night out. Except with boys. Really hot boys. I’ll see if I can find something, more, uh, suitable for you to wear. What size are you, 10?”
“6,” Pam hissed. “And you don’t need to do that. I’d really rather wear my own clothes.”
“Oh, come on, you look like a soccer mom. No wonder Jim used to like you,” Kelly noted, shaking her head.
“Well, his tastes obviously diversified. Oh, I think the phone is ringing,” Pam exclaimed as cheerily as she could from behind gritted teeth, before running back to her desk.
***
“Your attention, please!” Kelly shouted, forcefully pulling a very reluctant Pam behind her. “Can you all please tell Pam I’ve done an amazing job at making her look adorable?”
As she slowly walked towards the reception’s counter in one of Kelly’s vividly colored dotted dresses, Pam couldn’t remember feeling more embarrassed in her life. It felt like prom night all over again, only much, much worse, since she had never met her date, was the only one wearing a terribly distasteful outfit, and had a whole audience just for her. An audience constituting of people she had to face the next day. An audience that included Jim Halpert. She was never going to hear the end of it.
She could actually feel the heavy layers of eye-shadow and mascara. It made her want to blink constantly. At least, it momentarily blurred the image of Jim’s amused face. Angela audibly tutted her disapproval.
“Wow,” Jim exclaimed. “I mean, wow. Are you having an identity crisis? Should we be worried? Do you wanna talk about it?”
“I’d rather not, thanks.”
“I’m almost sure this phone can take pictures,” he muttered, frantically punching his cell’s keys. “Just give me a second to figure it out.”
“I think she should dress like that every day,” Kevin offered with a grin that did very little to ease Pam’s humiliation.
“Thank you, Kevin,” Kelly beamed proudly.
“I think you look great, Pam,” Jim tried again, fighting to keep a relatively straight face. “Very Pretty in Pink. I’m sure the jocks will love you, and I’m talking captain of the football team, here. What sort of party are you attending, exactly?”
“No party. Hot date. Double-date, actually. Okay. Have to go now,” she babbled urgently, pushing Kelly towards the coat stand. “I’m glad I could entertain you,” she added without turning back, missing Jim’s suddenly sobered expression.
***
As it turned out, Jack was actually cute, well-mannered and rather interesting. If he hadn’t been so visibly freaked out by Pam’s appearance, and if she hadn’t been so painfully aware of it, she might have had a nice time, after all.
***
“I’m warning you,” Pam glared at Jim as he pushed open the break room door, “if you’re gonna make fun of me… No, if you’re to even mention last night’s unfortunate fashion incident, I’ll tell Dwight you were the one who messed with his cell’s contacts.”
“That will come as a surprise to him, I’m sure.”
“I’ll testify if he asks me to.”
“Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll erase the money shots, if I must. Pity, though.”
“Thank you,” she replied with a fake smile and a dangerous look.
“So,” Jim tried, forcing a light, casual tone to his voice, “did you, uh, have a nice evening?”
“All in all, not the best first date of my life. And that’s saying something, you know?”
“What happened?”
“Well, let’s just say that I don’t think my date ever liked Molly Ringwald all that much.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
“Pam. You…” Jim paused, carefully wording his next sentence in his head. “You don’t need to try that hard. You really don’t. Last night, that wasn’t you.”
“Well, the me thing didn’t do much for my love life lately.”
“Oh, come on. That’s just -” Jim sighed in frustration. “I think you look good. Great. You’re fine being you. I guess what I’m trying to say is… You -”
“Jim,” Karen’s head appeared at the crack of the door, “Michael’s waiting for you.”
“In a minute,” Jim rose to his feet and hurriedly left the room, looking more than a little relieved.
***
“Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. Please hold.”
“Perfect,” Michael exclaimed as he walked by the reception counter. “Good job, Pam. You’re making us look good. They can hear it when you smile like that, you know.”
“I know. Thanks, Michael,” she beamed, shooting a quick glance at Jim, whose head was suddenly lowered behind his computer screen.
Pam smiled to the receiver for the rest of the day.
*****
Story Notes:
The Office characters do not belong to me.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to be_cool_bec for the beta.
