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Story Notes:

Despite the fact that I admittedly have multiple WIPs, my sadness over the fact that there are no new episodes of my favorite show, and my enjoyment in writing A Kwanzaa Christmas, have conspired for me to try another script-based episode fic.

However, unlike my previous one, this one will be shorter. It will have three acts instead of four. Also, the acts themselves will most likely be a little shorter.

Author's Chapter Notes:

 

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

 

COLD OPEN

INT. Main Office

It is the end of the day and everybody except JIM and DWIGHT can be seen in various stages of either shutting down their computers, grabbing their coats, or walking out the door. As the camera focuses on JIM and DWIGHT, we see PAM come over from Reception and sit on the edge of JIM’s desk.

 

PAM

Hey, you ready?

 

JIM

(looks up at her reluctantly)

Uh, no I can’t.

 

PAM looks at JIM with confusion and a little surprise.

 

JIM (cont.)

Um, today is the day.

(nods his head towards DWIGHT)

 

PAM

(smiles as she follows JIM’s nod, and then focuses back on him)

Oh [beat] okay. Well, I’m…

(pushes up and off JIM’s desk and begins walking slowly back towards Reception, while still looking at JIM)

going to go [beat] home. Where I’m free to go after work, but, um, you sure you don’t want to come?

(smiles even wider)

 

JIM

(smirks)

Yeah, I’m good. Thank you though [beat] so much.

 

PAM smiles and grabs her coat. Before she leaves, she turns one more time to JIM and mouths ‘home’ as a question and points at the door. JIM shakes his head, and as he does so, DWIGHT interrupts the moment.

 

DWIGHT

(seriously)

Are you ready for this?

 

JIM

(turning to DWIGHT)

Is that [beat] a serious question?

 

DWIGHT

Don’t be a sore loser Jim. It’s too becoming of you.

(smiles at own ingenuity)

 

Camera pans back to JIM and zooms in on his annoyed face.

 

JIM TALKING HEAD [Conference Room]

Okay, so here’s what happened. This year, the Phillies made the playoffs. They’re like my favorite team and I was excited [beat] okay, maybe too excited.

 

The camera jumps to a quick cut of JIM sitting at his desk wearing a Chase Utley jersey, with a Phillies baseball cap, and holding DWIGHT’s Mike Lieberthal bobble-head. He is fending off DWIGHT who is attempting to get it back.

 

CUT BACK TO JIM

 

JIM TALKING HEAD (cont.)

So in the first round they played the Colorado Rockies, who, I mean, are what like ten years old? I’ve never even met a Rockies fan [beat] well…

 

The camera jumps to a quick cut of DWIGHT sitting at his desk with a Todd Helton jersey, Rockies hat, and Troy Tulowitzki bobble-head. The camera pans over to see JIM looking over at him and shaking his head.

 

CUT BACK TO JIM

 

JIM TALKING HEAD (cont.)

He said he’s always liked them [beat] but c’mon

(gives disbelieving smirk to camera)

So anyway, we made a bet that whomever’s team won the series, the other person could make them watch whatever movie they wanted. [beat] Mine was going to be ‘The Phantom Menace’

(smiles at camera)

He hates that movie so much.

 

DWIGHT TALKING HEAD [Conference Room]

Yes, the Rockies swept the Phillies, three games to none. Was I surprised? Of course not. Schrutes don’t bet on losers…

(looks away from the camera and says thoughtfully)

with the exception of World Wars.

(pauses but then looks back at camera)

But that is irrelevant. I won, and now [beat]

(said in a slightly higher tone)

Jim has to suffer the enlightened consequences.

 

CUT TO: INT. Conference Room

The table has been removed and in its place sits two chairs, both facing the television, which is at the front of the room. JIM is sitting in one of them, alone. His arms are crossed and he is clearly unhappy. Moments later, DWIGHT walks in with a hemp satchel and sits down next to him.

 

JIM

(turns to DWIGHT)

Alright, what movie are we watching?

 

DWIGHT

(reaches into satchel and pulls out three DVDs)

We are watching a cinema classic, The Lord of the Rings.

 

JIM

(without hesitation)

That’s three movies, Dwight.

 

DWIGHT

Uh, no Jim. It’s one movie with three volumes.

(ticks off the titles on his fingers)

The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, and The Return of the King.

(shows fingers to JIM)

 

JIM

(looking at DWIGHT)

How many fingers are you holding up right now?

 

DWIGHT

(looks at hand and then puts it down)

They’re volumes.

 

Without a word JIM gets up from his chair and walks out of the Conference Room. DWIGHT is half a step behind him.

 

 

CUT TO: INT. Main Office, JIM’s Desk

JIM walks straight to his desk, with DWIGHT on his heels, and types something on his keyboard. The camera shifts so that it can see his monitor, and we see that is looking up ‘The Lord of The Rings’ on Wikipedia. After a second, JIM hangs his head.

 

JIM

(softly mutters)

Dammit.

 

JIM and DWIGHT silently go back into the Conference Room.

 

 

CUT TO: INT. Conference Room

JIM sits back down in his chair, while DWIGHT grabs the case for ‘The Fellowship of the Ring’, and walks over to the DVD player.

 

JIM

(skeptically)

Do you really want to be in this room with me for [beat]

(worriedly)

wait, how long is this going to take?

 

DWIGHT

(while still focused on the DVD player)

Eleven point three hours [beat] and do you want to be in a room with me that long?

 

JIM

(shakes head)

No, not really.

 

DWIGHT

(turns to JIM)

Then I do.

(pushes in tray dramatically, and the DVD begins to play)

 

As it starts, DWIGHT reaches again into his satchel and pulls out three books.

 

JIM

(looking at DWIGHT)

What are those?

 

DWIGHT

(holds up books)

The texts. The Extended Editions aren’t comprehensive, Jim. This way, we can do dramatic readings of key passages that aren’t in the film [beat] you wouldn’t believe how much the Ents are ignored!

 

JIM

(dryly)

I could probably believe it…

 

DWIGHT

(interrupting)

and then I will get a Moons Over My Hammy for breakfast tomorrow morning.

 

JIM

Oh, uh….

 

DWIGHT

(interrupting hurriedly)

Wait. Shut up, Galadriel is talking.

 

There is a two to three second pause as they both watch the movie.

 

DWIGHT (cont.)

(while still watching the movie, and whispered)

Do you know Elvish?

 

JIM looks at the camera.

 

END OF COLD OPEN

 

 

 

 

 


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