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Author's Chapter Notes:
So, there I am, innocently trying to work on a JAM fic when Kelly comes barging in. Not that I mind, really, because I love writing in Kelly's voice. I just hope Angela doesn't start bothering me again now too.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

It's a boring day. The sort of day where even buying awesome scarves and totally cute hats from the Gap website only holds ten minutes worth of excitement. She updates her Project Runway blog, totally gushing about how she wishes Tim Gunn lived in her closet and would tell her to "Make it work!" whenever she's sad. She wants to talk about America's Next Top Model, but she's only got Toby to talk to and he mostly just stares at her with those droopy eyes and she wonders what it's like to feel so sad all the time.

He only takes time to smile at Pam and that's kind of when Kelly figures it out. She tries to bring Pam up as much as possible in conversation so she can look to see if that little crinkle around the corners of his eyes comes out, because that's how she knows for sure. If she's on the phone with a customer when Pam comes into the annex, she hangs up on them so she can listen to what Toby says or doesn't say, because all the I want you's are in the pauses.

Sometimes she smiles at Toby when Pam walks away - really smiles at him, like in the way that he totally wants Pam to smile at him but never does. She does it because she thinks it might make him feel a little better, but she knows it's not the same because it's like in high school when she wanted the quarterback to smile at her but only the kid sitting on the edge of the bench would smile... and he would always have his stupid mouth guard in, so it didn't even count anyway.

Toby never smiles back and she understands because she's not the receptionist, and she knows that all Toby wants is a smile from the receptionist.

He's a funny old man and he smells like some sort of beans, so she doesn't talk to him. He's kind of like the homeless people in New York City that you walk past and pretend they don't exist because if you make eye contact, they'll ask you for a dollar. Only Creed would never ask for a dollar - he would just wait until you left your desk and take some bills from the top drawer on the left, and she knows that because she sees him do it all the time when she's making copies or trying to get Pam to talk about cute shoes.

But Meredith is usually too "tired" to realize why her money's missing, so she just shrugs and puts more bills in the next day and is just as surprised when they disappear again. And Kelly kind of wants to say something, but she figures Meredith maybe probably doesn't even care and she feels a little bad because she feels like maybe he really needs the money, so sometimes she stays a little late and, when no one's around, she slips a ten dollar bill in the top drawer on the left.

He dresses terribly for a gay man and she thinks that she should have her friend Don give him fashion tips, but she figures that maybe he's not ready to dress great because he doesn't hold What'sHisFace's hand in the ticket line - only in the dark movie theater where he thinks nobody knows who he is.

She's looking for a client's phone number when she sees the file: Mr. A Knife. She opens it because she thinks that with a name like that, he's got to be hot and when she sees what's in the folder, she looks over at Dwight, who is staring at her, his eyes beadier than usual. She closes the drawer and goes back to the annex without the phone number because wow Dwight is so weird, but at least he can protect the office from deranged warehouse workers or whatever, so she lets it go and just hopes she never has to see Dwight stab anybody because she can't even bare to get a papercut, so she can only imagine...

When she's making copies, she likes to take everything in because being in the annex seriously limits her ability to get the office gossip scoop. She sees that Pam spends a lot of time looking at Jim's neck and how she looks away when Karen looks up from her work. She also notices how Jim seems to sense the tension prickling through the air and a clouded expression always falls on his face.

Phyllis isn't the only one who knows that Jim and Pam are, like, totally meant to be together forever and have totally adorable babies and probably a border collie named Checkers. Kelly knows it too, so she spends a lot of time bringing it up in ways that make her seem totally clueless, but after her comments about Ben Franklin make Pam feel awkward enough to agree to a date with one of Ryan's business school friends, she watches the expression on Jim's face and she knows she's right. Not that she's ever wrong about this sort of stuff, because she always knows what other people need when it comes to love. It's just too bad, she thinks, that she can never seem to get her own love life right.

Later, after Karen's gone and that weird prickling tension stuff is gone, when Michael announces that Jim and Pam are totally in love now, Kelly only smiles to herself, because she knew.

She knows everything, seriously.

carbondalien is the author of 25 other stories.
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