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Story Notes:
Written with love for Stablergirl - Merry Christmas, and I promise to finish it soon.
Author's Chapter Notes:

Many thanks to brokenloon and xoxoxo for betaing this piece.  Also due to technical difficulties, xoxoxo has agreed to help me post, thanks for helping me in my time of need (in more ways than one).

Disclaimer:  uncgirl does not own The Office or Jim and Pam.  And neither do I - unfortunately...

 

Pam sat at her desk drumming her fingers impatiently while staring at the clock, wishing she could make it move faster.  The last week before Christmas was such a killer in the office.  So many people were already off and no one wanted to buy paper at this time of year, despite Dwight's desperate attempts to remind them that it just wasn't Christmas without Dunder Mifflin snow-white stationary paper.

Pam opened the Internet on her computer searching once again for the perfect gift for Jim.  It was their first Christmas together and she wanted to buy him the perfect thing.  But so far, she was coming up dry.  She propped her head on her arm while she lazily scrolled through amazon.com, every few minutes stealing a look at Jim over her counter.  He was surprisingly guarded when it came to what he wanted, what he dreamed about.  She crinkled up her nose in frustration wondering why he was still holding back with her.  They had been together for seven months and she knew he was happy.  At least she thought he was.  She pushed her doubts to the back of her mind and clicked on the description for a football trivia book.

Like Pam, Jim was sitting at his desk trying desperately to pass the time. Dwight had been insufferable the last few days and, even though Jim really wanted to do something to take him down a few notches, he held off because he knew very well that this time of year could be very difficult, especially if you were heartbroken.  He simply sighed and brought up ESPN.com as Dwight spun the Rolodex looking for the next client to call. 

Tilting his head to the side he looked over at Pam.  This was the first year he would actually get to take her to his mother's house for a major holiday.  She was finally going to meet his brother and his sister, both of whom thought that she was imaginary a few years ago.  He smiled as she yawned, her eyes closing ever so slightly as she stretched out her arms over her head.   Nope, not imaginary at all.   He knew his dad was going to love her, and his mom was making a stocking just for Pam with artist's brushes on it.  For the first time since he was a child, he could not wait for Christmas Eve.

Jim was quickly lulled back into boredom as the room was overtaken with the quiet percussion of keys being struck and mice being clicked almost in time to some missing piece of music.  Suddenly, Michael burst through the front door of the office, the blinds making a disquieting racket behind him. 

"Feliz Navidad, people!  Christmas is the time of togetherness, of families fighting over the drumstick and returning the almost thoughtful but somewhat hurtful gift that you would think your mother would know better than to give you." He paused and looked up to flash his thousand-watt smile.  "Enough of this drudgery, happy employees mean more sales, and nothing says happy employees like a mandatory Christmas charity event."

Jim leaned back in his chair and cleared his throat, "Michael, what kind of charity event?"

"Didn't we already give to the local soup kitchen?"  Pam peered over the counter and giving Jim a subtle wink.

"You can never give enough, Pam and Eggs." 

She rolled her eyes, "Okay, so what's the event?"

Michael unfurled a red t-shirt for the group, the back bearing another long and unreadable title, similar to his awful Fun Run shirt.  "Um, it's kind of hard to read writing that small..."  Phyllis chimed in from the back.

"Get glasses you old betty," Michael chuckled, "Just kidding, Phil...It says the First Annual Michael Scott Can't Wait Till Christmas Charity Co-Ed Couples (and Oscar) Ping Pong Tournament for World Peace in Honor of John Lennon."

"John Lennon."  Jim raised his eyebrows in astonishment.

"Yes, Jim, you know... war is over...."Michael started humming the familiar song, off tune, causing Andy to shudder.

"That's not a charity."  Angela said with a thoroughly displeased look on her face.

"It is kind of hard to give money to world peace."  Pam said as earnestly as she could manage under the circumstances.

"It's the thought that counts you guys.  Dunder Mifflin is going to play ping pong this holiday season to show the world that peace is a goal worth working toward.  If Forrest Gump can do it, so can we."  Michael wadded up the shirt and threw it at Pam.  "Pam, there's a box of t-shirts in my car, bring them in please and work up a sign-in sheet."

He turned to go in his office, "Remember this is a couples tourney folks, so grab your partner and doe see doe as they say."

Pam mouthed the words "Doe see doe?" to Jim and he shrugged back, getting up from his chair so he could discuss the issue further at her counter.

"A tournament, huh?  Could be fun..."  Jim fished a candy cane out of the dish. 

"Yeah, I guess.  Although Michael playing ping pong....could be dangerous."  Pam shuddered slightly for dramatic effect.

"At least it will pass the time, ...this week is going on forever."

"Getting excited about Santa's visit huh?"  Pam batted her eyes innocently.

"Of course.  I've blocked out time for us to bake him cookies and everything.  Hang our stockings with care, you know the whole bit."

"I can't wait to see how the Halperts spend Christmas..."  Pam teased.

"It's a regular Dicken's Christmas Carol...well maybe more like Christmas Vacation...but we don't let Dad do the lights anymore...since the accident."  Jim tried for a serious look to sell his joke, but couldn't bite back the smile that formed as he looked down at Pam.  She was wearing the red turtleneck sweater that he liked so much and she looked absolutely beautiful.

"I can't wait to dig through all your stuff, like embarrassing photos and old elementary school drawings..."  Pam looked up at him playfully.

"Hey, my stick figures showed promise."  He spun the individually wrapped candy cane on her counter trying to distract himself from the warm feeling rising in his chest.  "And then the Beesly homestead on Christmas night?"

"Yep."  She leaned in to whisper, "It's gonna be great." 

"It is."  He paused, "And I can't wait to give you your present."

"Yeah Jim, about that, you really haven't given me a lot to go on about what you want for Christmas."  Pam pulled out a notepad, prepared to take down any clue he would give her.

Turning to glance over his shoulder to see if anyone was watching, Jim reached out to intertwine their fingers behind the counter, "Seriously, I feel like I already got my present."

Pam beamed at him a moment and then tried to calm herself since they were in the office, "I know, me too...but there must be something."

"I'll give you a list tonight.  I promise."  Jim backed away.

"Jim?" Pam whispered.

"Yeah."

"Be my partner for ping-pong?" 

"Absolutely I will." They exchanged warm smiles before Pam started to blush and had to look away.  She closed the internet and opened word to make up the sign up lists for the tournament.

***Merry Christmas***

"Where's my totally hot stud muffin?"  Kelly squealed as she burst into Darryl's office, interrupting his attempt to wrap up a last minute order and settling herself in his lap. 

"Hey baby, I'm tryin' to finish here."

"Fine."  Kelly stood up immediately moving from flirtatious to angry, "I would think you would want to make your woman feel wanted.  I have other options Darryl Philbin."

"Hold up, hold up, I'm tryin' to finish this order so that I can give you the attention that you deserve.  So just cool it."  Darryl smiled at her and Kelly couldn't help but crack a smile back at him.

Over the years, Kelly had made dreaming up fantasy men an art form.  She would dream that she was dating George Clooney or Leonardo DiCaprio, and they would buy her fancy dresses and take her to the Oscars.  When she starting dating Ryan she rationalized that even though he was distant and difficult, he was going places, and he had good hair.  He could be the fantasy man she always wanted, one day. 

Darryl was not at all that man.  Truthfully, her head was still spinning from her sudden break up with Ryan and then what could only be called in the gossip columns as her steamy romance with Darryl.  He was so different from Ryan, from all her other boyfriends.  He was blue collar.  He wore a uniform.  He drank beer out of cans and loved hot dogs.  But, he seemed to really like her, overtly like her.  He even showed her affection in front of his daughter and his friends.  She couldn't get over that after literally having to take the attention she wanted from Ryan.  Looking at him now, she couldn't help but think that, despite needing a glamour makeover, Darryl might turn out to be exactly the man she always wanted.

"Ok, baby doll, come here..."  Darryl pulled her into his lap and kissed her fully while running his hands down her arms.  "What's on your mind this fine day?"

"Michael is having this totally ridiculous ping pong tournament, ...we have to win."  She said seriously.

"Why do you care so much?  It's just a stupid office thing."

"Yes, but we are a power couple Darryl, they need to get used to it.  We're like Tom and Katie, or Brad and Angelina, or Nicole and Keith....actually we're exactly like Nicole and Keith because you got me over my awful break up just like he helped her get over Tom.  And Tom is short like Ryan.  Except you're not on drugs or anything."

"Keith who?  What are you goin' on about?"

"Keith Urban.  Are you reading the Peoples I leave at your house?"

"No.  Are you reading the Sports Illustrateds I leave at yours?"

"No, but I know Tony Romo is dating Jessica Simpson."

"And having a rough last couple of games..."  Darryl trailed off.

Kelly gently turned his head back to face her so she could look him in the eyes.  "It's just I know that people think we're a joke and we're totally not, and I think it's time people realize there are more couples in this office than stupid Pam and Jim."

Darryl pushed her hair behind her ear gently, "Do you really think we're serious?  I thought this was just about getting over that little dude."

"Well, I mean I know that it's been weird and stuff, but it's totally awesome having you around.  I mean, we're like Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner."  She smiled genuinely and got up to move to the door.  Darryl wasn't sure who Ben and Jennifer were, but it seemed that Kelly thought being like them was a good thing.  That was good enough for him.

Kelly turned to leave but paused to dramatically blow a kiss at Darryl, who leaned back in his chair and shook his head in disbelief, "That's alright...alright."  He drummed his fist on his desk and tried to swallow his smile as he entered the next order in the tracking system.

***Merry Christmas***

Dwight stared into the vending machine, trying to ignore the flyer taped to the front for Michael's couples tournament.  This Christmas had been a nightmare without Angela.  It was bad enough having to cut the tree from the outskirts of the beet field by himself, or decorating the tree with his mother's old ornaments with Mose, who never got the concept that blinking lights can cause epileptic seizures.  Now he was going to have to watch as Andy, that ignorant showboating  cretin, played ping pong with his Monkey.  

He leaned in and beat his forehead against the vending machine, barely stifling a moan.

"What's the trouble there big guy, your candy bar stuck?"

"I do not eat candy bars.  Anymore."  He added quietly, then clearing his throat he said sternly, "Candy bars make you weak."

"Oh....kay.  So..."  Andy punched the button for a soda and settled in at the table, "Got a partner for the tournament?"

"I do not."

"Well, I was wondering, see...."  Andy lowered his voice and leaned closer to Dwight, "Angela's acting weird about playing in this tournament.  In fact, she's kinda refusing, something about it's not a real charity and she would not be able to celebrate because this was her first Christmas alone.  I think she's missing the cat.  Anyway, I figure we should team up.  We could take them all."

Dwight feel his insides turn.  He knew what it felt like to feel alone.  He was missing her; he had hoped that maybe she was also missing him.  "You want me to team up with you?  Don't be ridiculous."

"Yeah, come on we'll be unstoppable."

Dwight fought the urge to grab him by the collar and shake him senseless.  Suddenly, it occurred to him.  Perhaps he could finally show Angela once and for all who the better man was.  If he carried the game, showed up Andy, maybe she would give him another chance.

"I guess it is either you or Creed.  Creed does seem able to pull off the necessary counter intelligence needed for this kind of tournament, spying on your competitors, weighing their paddles to check for improper equipment.  But he also has been looking frail lately and a death on the court does not end a ping pong match under the standard rules of Imperial China.  You probably wouldn't die, so you are the superior choice, even if you are not athletically inclined."

"It's ping pong, you don't have to be athletic to play ping pong."

"That just shows your lack of respect for the game.  You aren't worthy to hold Wang Liqin's paddle."

"Wang what?  Listen man I won't hold some other dude's paddle."  Andy leaned back in his chair.

Dwight squinted at Andy, barely controlling his contempt, squeezing his words from clinched teeth, "Wang Liqin is the World Table Tennis Champion."

Andy put up his arms in mock surrender, "Calm down mi compadre.  So are we on?"

Dwight nodded solemnly as if resigned to his fate, "We are on."  He watched almost predatorily as Andy left and muttered to his retreating figure, "Oh yes Andy, it's on."

***Merry Christmas***

Michael dialed his home number and listened to it ring on his speakerphone.  Finally there was a garbled, "Hello?"

"Jan-ifer Love Hewitt, good morning."

"Michael?  Is that you?"  The sound of shifting covers could be heard, "What time is it?"

"It's 11, not exactly early.  Listen I have something I want for us to do on Friday."

"Urgh.  You don't want to go see Santa again do you, Michael?  He isn't real."

"I know it's not the real Santa, Jan, he's at the North Pole, obviously..."

"No, Michael, uh...oh, never mind."

"We're having a charity ping pong tournament at work, and it's a couples thing, and since we are a couple...."

"For the time being."

Michael rubbed his temples, "Look I know things haven't been...good...since the deposition, but it's Christmas.  Come on, Jan."

There was deep sigh on the other end of the line, "Okay.  What time Friday?"

"One.  It's gonna be great, we are so winning this puppy."

"Sure, whatever." 

There was a click as Jan hung up her end.  Michael blinked hard as he stared at the speakerphone, almost like he expected that it held the answer to his problems with Jan.  He had hoped that maybe she would be excited about the tournament. She'd been so withdrawn lately, worse than ever before.  Michael moved his Dundie on the desk, looking at it for a moment, surveying these small mementos of his otherwise empty life.  He cared for Jan, but they were so unhappy lately.  He didn't want to break up with her.  He was actually a little afraid to; he was all she had.  But he was growing tired of constantly feeling sad.

If only Santa Claus had the answer to this one.  He made a note to leave out extra cookies in the hopes that Santa would help.

***Merry Christmas***

"Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration."  Bob answered professionally on the other end of the line.  Phyllis smiled just at the sound of his voice. 

"Bobby, it's me.  Are you free day after tomorrow at 1pm?"

"I'm always free for you baby."  Phyllis blushed and ducked her head slightly, trying not to make eye contact with Andy. 

"Well, we're having a little Christmas ping-pong game."

Michael was walking by on the way to the kitchen and stopped to peer over Phyllis, "It's a tournament, not a game. Don't trivialize this Phyllis, this is for John Lennon."

She straightened up and tried to suppress the urge to throw a pencil at him.  She screwed on a serious expression for Michael's benefit. "Bobby it's a tournament, Michael is trying to raise support for World Peace."

The booming laughter on the other end of the phone was loud enough for everyone to hear.  Michael rolled his eyes and started to walk away, "Phyllis, it's because of people like you that we're at war in ....one of the Stan nations..."

Ignoring his comment, Phyllis smiled as she hung up the phone.  She calmly walked over to Pam and said gently, "We're in."

***Merry Christmas***

Oscar sat in the break room the day before the tournament, seemingly lost in thought over his sandwich.  He could not believe that Gil had refused to play with him tomorrow.  Something about how the office was too low brow to socialize with and that he was concerned that ‘these people' were affecting Oscar.  He shrugged his shoulders, unsure of why Gil had to be so snotty.  ‘These people' for better or worse were his friends.  He had endured more than his fair share of uptight cocktail parties for Gil; why couldn't Gil just do this for him?

Kevin shuffled into the break room and Oscar made room at the table, silently asking if he wanted to join him.

"How's it goin' Kev?"

"Miserable.  Staci can't play with me tomorrow; she has to work or something.  Meredith and Creed are the only ones without a partner, but I bet they can't really play.  Stanley's out of town.  And Michael won't let Toby participate.  It's so unfair, I'm already doomed to lose."

"Um, Kevin, why don't you play with me?"

Kevin bristled, stumbling over his words, "Oscar, man, I know we're friends but I don't think I can..."

"Urgh, no,"  Oscar shook his head in astonishment.  "Kevin, play ping pong with me.  Gil can't come either."

Kevin calmed down instantly and seemed to mull it over with a bite of his sandwich. "Okay."

Oscar smiled feeling like maybe tomorrow could be fun after all. "Okay."

***Merry Christmas***

Meredith approached Creed from behind, keeping several feet between the two of them.  "Hey, you want to be partners for ping-pong?"

Creed turned to face her, "Well, well, Mary Beth, you need a partner huh?"  He peered over his glasses at her.  "Is there prize money?"

"I don't know... I don't think so."

He turned away from her again, "Can't...I'm prohibited by the International Table Tennis Federation from playing ping pong in public unless it is in the nude and for diplomatic purposes."

"Look there's no one left."  Meredith shifted impatiently.  She didn't care about actually playing, but she hated to be the only one without a partner. 

Creed tapped his pen on his chin weighing his options.  "Okay, why not, it's Memorial Day after all."

"It's Christmas, Creed." 

"What?  It's December already?"  His brow furrowed and he started counting something on his fingers.  Finally he stopped and just shook his head.  "So that's why they have those trees up at the soup kitchen."

Meredith rolled her eyes, "I'll sign us up."

"Okay Marilyn."  Creed waved at her as she left, muttering to himself,  "Interesting girl.  Reminds me of a girl I met once on a hippie commune in South Dakota."

***Merry Christmas***

Toby skulked up to the reception desk, shoulders hunched over.  "Did you get everyone signed up, Pam?"

She smiled at him, feeling badly that once again Michael was excluding him for no good reason.  "Yep, even Meredith and Creed are playing.  Too bad Stanley's off, I would have liked to see him play ping pong."

"Yeah."  Toby smiled, letting out what was either a heavy breath or a laugh, but Pam couldn't tell which.

"So Toby, we do need a referee..." Pam started, "Would you mind doing that?"

"Well.  I don't know."  Toby started to draw figures on the counter, once again feeling a familiar discomfort in Pam's presence.  He was trying to get over this crush once and for all since she was so clearly infatuated with Jim. 

"It'll be fun Toby, and you shouldn't sit up here alone.  And you can penalize Michael when he cheats."  Pam smiled at him genuinely and he couldn't help but smile back.  

"Okay ...sure, I'll do it."  Toby walked off, shuffling the files he held between his fingers.  He thought ruefully that Jim Halpert was a lucky man. 

***Merry Christmas***

Jim and Pam walked out to her car at the end of the day, each bundled up in heavy coats and gloves, trying to stay warm in the cold winter air.

"Jim."  Pam's pace slowed till she was nearly standing still.  "Why can't you tell me what you want for Christmas?"

Jim shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged, "I just don't need anything, that's all."  He smiled, hoping she would let this one go as usual.

"Okay, neither do I, but it's Christmas...what do you want?  You know, ‘Dear Santa, I want a hula-hoop?'"

"You want a hula-hoop?"  Jim teased trying to change the subject with his joke.

"C'mon."

He took a deep breath, "Why is this a thing with you?" 

She pursed her lips wanting to tell him that it was nothing.  But it was something.  "It's just...you used to tell me everything...before."

His face took on a different, more distant expression, "No, Pam...I didn't.  I mean... obviously."  He gestured between them, as if to illustrate all that he didn't tell her.  He shook his head wishing this conversation would end.

She shifted and pulled her coat tight around herself, feeling like this was out of her control.  She remembered this feeling from before; she was powerless to make this go the way she wanted.  "You would at least tell me what you wanted for Christmas."

He turned toward the car, "It's just a list Pam.  I promise ...I'll do it.  Okay?"

She felt the cold air embrace her, waking her out of her stupor.  "Wait..."  Jim stopped in his tracks and turned back to her warily.  She stepped close to him and put her gloved hands on his chest.  She could see the hurt from the last year still on his face, the sadness in his eyes as he recalled that he had always held back from her.  She refused to let those feelings back into this relationship.  "What I think I meant was ...just...I want you to tell me what you want."

Jim started to speak again, more desperately, "I don't need..."

Pam reached out to put her finger on his lips silencing him, "You are the one that let me dream out loud when I needed to.  Now, I just want...I want you to know...that you can too."

She let her hand brush the side of his face and pulled him down into a gentle kiss.    As she leaned back from him, she could tell he was considering what she said.  She hadn't realized that he was still carrying around pieces of the last year, that parts of his heart were still broken.   She refused to cry at that thought and instead squeaked out "I love you."

Jim felt the warmth of her lips linger on his and he couldn't quite piece together an entirely lucid thought.  She had told him that before, lots of times really, but it still took his breath away.  He wanted to respond to her questions about his dreams, but he wasn't sure what to tell her.  She was all he had aspired to.  Maybe he was doomed to Dunder Mifflin forever, and honestly, that would be okay as along as he could stare at her all day.  He didn't want to disappoint her; he didn't want her to realize that she was way out of his league.

He pulled her into a hug, "I love you too Pam.  So much."

Her face lit up, "Okay so we're going home, ordering Chinese, building a fire, and you are going to write a Christmas List."  She pulled him with her toward the car, practically giddy with excitement.

He felt a little dread at the idea of a list but he had to smile at her confidence and spunk.  Besides nothing sounded better than an evening with Pam in front of the fire.  "Can I write it in crayon?" 

"Sure."

"And will you make hot chocolate with marshmallows?"

She giggled, "And we can wear footie pajamas."

"Okay, that's just disturbing Beesly."

She smacked his arm playfully, enjoying walking through the parking lot together.  "You know you love it." 

"Yep, I do."



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