Lessons Learned from The Documentary
by Steph
Summary: Watching the documentary as a favor for Ryan, Toby learned that almost everyone at Dunder Mifflin could probably sue Michael for something and win big. And he learned a few other very important lessons as well.
Timeline: All the way to The Deposition.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Frank and Nicole however are mine.
Thanks again to Holly, for the beta and the encouragement.
------
Ryan had a project for Toby. He wanted him to go through all the documentary footage that had been filmed so far and take notes. Lots of notes. He wanted him to note anything that might make the company look bad, anything that could lead to more lawsuits.
Anything, he implied, that could get Ryan in trouble in the future.
So Toby was given the orders to watch three hours of footage a day in the conference room where he was not to be bothered for any reason.
Michael, oddly enough, had approved this, saying that people would be able to get more work done and generally be much happier with Toby out of their way.
"Three hours?" Toby had said, not sure he was liking the idea of this project.
"I'll owe you big time," Ryan promised, suddenly sounding very young and unsure. "What do you want? I'll do it - no questions asked."
"Well," Toby said uncomfortably, "that's a generous offer."
"Want to move out of the annex?"
"No." He liked sitting far away from Michael, liked having a semi-private place where people could come to talk to him.
"Do you want me to move Kelly?"
Toby had said no that was fine, but when he thought of something, Ryan would be the first to know.
---
Toby sat down with the film crew, and a few of the higher ups working on the project, Frank and Nicole.
They didn't seem too happy about letting him see everything, but they would reluctantly allow it.
He signed several forms, swearing that he wouldn't interfere with any future filming, that he would still agree to be filmed (without commenting on what he had already seen) and that he wouldn't tell anyone else not already involved with the project what he had seen - and that included leaking anything on the internet, including but not limited to, a blog.
"A blog? Are you serious?" Toby asked, which resulted in a scowl from the humorless Frank and a slight smile from the far sunnier Nicole.
"The footage is like our baby," Nicole said. "And we need to protect our baby every way we can."
"Of course," he said and signed that form as well.
---
It was weird watching the footage. Weird seeing his coworkers interacting with each other, or playing up to the camera. He took diligent notes at the beginning.
It felt a little bit like he was spying on them. Or reading their diaries. Knowing all their innermost thoughts. He was learning things he probably shouldn't know.
And he was learning more about Michael than he ever wanted to know.
The only saving grace was that he was not getting much airtime at all.
Thank God.
--
Lesson Number One: Value your friends. Even the ones who never stop talking.
Toby is so cute, except he has that stupid kid.
The first reaction he had after he heard that from Kelly was a knee-jerk defense of his daughter who was far from stupid.
His daughter, he would have you know, was brilliant.
And then he realized he had been called cute. By Kelly. Which was flattering.
If very strange.
He didn't think much more about Kelly (he had been too busy taking notes on Michael's disturbing fixation on Ryan, Jim's pranks on Dwight and so on and so on) until he came to footage a few days later of one of their Christmas parties. The one where Michael had thrown a tantrum when he had received Phyllis' handmade gift.
Yeah, that was one for the record books.
To avoid the numerous close-ups on Phyllis' hurt face, Toby focused on the background and was struck by something. Him and Kelly. Apart from everyone else. Talking. Laughing. Having a good time separate from everyone else.
What could they have been talking about for so long?
For the longest time, Kelly's topics of conversation had been limited to four things:
1) Ryan
2) Clothes/makeup/hair
3) Celebrities
4) Ryan
When he went back to the annex after his viewing session, making a point to smile at Phyllis as he passed her, he considered things. Sure Kelly talked a lot, but she wasn't a bad person. At one point they had been fairly good friends - even if he couldn't remember now what they had ever had to talk about.
He stuck his head over the cubicle and asked her how she was. Which started a long conversation about some shopping she had done and then Darryl and their most recent fight. And then she talked about Darryl's daughter, more shopping and back to Darryl again.
It made his head hurt a little, but still he listened and offered advice when she asked and smiled and she smiled back.
The next day when she asked him how he was, instead of just saying fine like usual, he answered her honestly. She advised him to wear more blue because it was a calming color, to exercise more - not that he looked fat or anything, because he totally didn't - but because exercising releases something or other and makes you feel better and most importantly, she advised him to treat himself.
He had to be nice to himself, she said.
It was, he admitted, not bad advice.
That day when Michael held a meeting, Toby made sure to sit by her. She rolled her eyes at him every time Michael opened his mouth and he had to look away after awhile, because he was afraid of smiling too much.
The day after he wore a dark blue tie. He went running that night and brought in a huge French Dip sandwich the next day for lunch. To treat himself.
Kelly stole some fries off his plate and told him she approved.
--
Lesson Number Two: It's not who you say you'd do, but who you don't say you'd do.
Who Would You Do? There were so many things wrong with this stupid game. Looking back, he realized he probably should have put a stop to it. Not that he had much control over these people or anything.
He was surprised that no one had complained. Not even Angela. Still he took down notes, just in case someone had a much-delayed response and years later felt hurt that Jim or whoever did or did not mention them as a Who Would You Do? possibility.
He had to laugh when Oscar said he'd do Pam, although he felt bad afterward. He laughed again when Pam said she'd do Oscar.
Gil had better be careful.
He almost missed the next thing out of Pam's mouth.
Ooh, Toby!
Wait. What the hell?
He couldn't have heard that right.
He rewound that.
Pam may have said it, but she didn't mean it. He was smart enough to know that Pam said him because she wouldn't say Jim, the same way Jim had said Kevin (also noted - just in case), because he wouldn't say Pam. It was obvious.
But just because it was obvious didn't mean the realization that it meant nothing didn't sting just a little bit.
He rewound it again, because he was one for torture and this time watched Phyllis and Meredith's reactions. Phyllis wouldn't do him, but Meredith gave him an enthusiastic yes.
Well, that was something at least.
He looked at his notes when the footage ended. Among other things, he had written down that Michael announced his choice of Ryan to everyone and Ryan seemed very uncomfortable.
He wondered briefly if Ryan ever considered suing Michael for sexual harassment.
He'd probably have a good case.
When they all went out for drinks that Friday night for someone's birthday, he found himself sitting between Kelly and Meredith. He thought he felt Meredith's hand on his thigh at one point, but told himself later that he had just imagined it.
---
Lesson Number Three: There's only so much a man could take, before he takes action.
He tried to stay detached as he watched more and more videos. This wasn't about him; he was doing this for Ryan, for the company, for all his coworkers.
He made notes to talk to Meredith about possibly seeking help, he made notes to talk to Creed.
About what though?
Even after all these little Creed interviews, he still had no idea what was going on with him.
Did he need some sort of transitional housing? Psychiatric help? Prison?
He put a huge question mark next to Creed's name and vowed to come back to him.
He focused on his other coworkers.
Pam. Jim. Pam and Jim. Jim and Pam. Roy. Karen.
That was a huge part of the footage and watching so many hours of them made him and his little crush look very foolish.
And then of course there were little gems like these, scattered throughout:
Toby is in HR which technically means he works for Corporate. So he's really not a part of our family. Also he's divorced so he's really not a part of his family.
Toby is the devil.
And I'm going to open up these cases before Toby can kill or rape another person.
Toby Flenderson is everything that is wrong with the paper industry.
Unless they mean Toby. Convicted rapist.
It was the last one that made him stop the tape and walk out of the conference room feeling queasy.
He needed some air.
He went into the break room and slowly drank some water.
He had stopped questioning why Michael hated him so much, what he had done to earn such contempt and disgust. Such vitriol.
He didn't even think his ex-wife hated him that much.
He drank more water. Thought about kicking the watercooler.
Decided against it.
"Enjoying the sneak preview?"
He looked up. It was Nicole, holding up a camera.
"You're not taping me." It was not a question.
"Nope," she said. "We said we wouldn't tape your reaction to the footage."
"Right," he said. He refilled his cup again.
"Man," Nicole said. "You are going to be peeing all day."
He frowned, not saying anything.
"Sorry," she said. "Dorky thing to say. So I have to ask you something. But don't tell Frank I asked you this."
"Okay."
"What do you think of the footage? Honestly. I may be biased - but it's really good, right?"
He thought about this. "It's edited very professionally."
Her face fell. "That's it?" she asked. "That's a bit of a letdown."
"I don't know," he said. "I think I'm too close to it. I've already seen some things I really wish I hadn't. I don't think people are going to be thrilled about how they come across."
"It's a documentary," she said. "We film the good and the bad. And maybe people will see the bad and it will inspire them to change their situation."
He supposed it was a possibility. Maybe Meredith would be inspired.
He told Nicole she might have a point and went back to the annex.
That night, replaying some of Michael's crueler comments in his head, he thought that maybe he could be the one inspired.
Maybe he could change his own situation.
He went online and just for the hell of it did some job searching. Found several possible human resources positions in Lackawanna County. Jobs he was qualified for. When he was done with that, he polished up his resume. Reread some of the job listings and wondered about those requesting a letter of referral.
He woke up early the next morning realizing something.
Ryan owed him a favor, no questions asked.
--
Lesson Number Four: When you're having a really, really crappy day, even the smallest compliment can make all the difference.
His head was hurting and his eyes were hurting and he wanted nothing more then to finish this damn thing and get back to the annex.
He was getting really sick of this project. He had filled notebook after notebook. When it came down to it, every single person at Dunder Mifflin could probably sue Michael for something and win big.
And Ryan was starting to come off as kind of a tool. But he probably wouldn't include that observation in his final report to him.
He was sick of watching his coworkers and hearing their thoughts. He was sick of watching himself so depressed and defeated. And did he always look like that? So pasty and tired?
So beaten down? So miserable?
Most of all though, he was really sick of watching Michael.
And if he heard the expression "that's what she said" one more time...
The red-haired guy with the sad eyes? I like him. He's cool.
Well, that was completely unexpected. He found himself feeling touched even though it was such a small, silly thing.
Darryl thought he was cool? He had never felt less cool in his life.
The next time he saw Darryl he asked about his daughter. Darryl proudly showed off a picture; in return Toby showed him his latest picture of Sasha.
Then Darryl invited him down to the warehouse, pointed out the dartboard, the ping pong table and the creepy blow up doll with Michael's face taped to it.
Toby knew he should probably write that one up or at least tell them to get rid of it, but he just didn't.
Darryl also pointed out the punching bag. Told Toby that he was welcome to come down to the warehouse and use it any time he needed to.
Darryl told him that he looked like he could use a few rounds with a punching bag.
Toby did not disagree.
A few weekends later Darryl had his daughter and Toby had Sasha and they all met up at a park.
Despite the differences in age and personality, within minutes the girls were inseparable.
"How do you do it?" Darryl asked him as they watched the girls play. "I mean if I had to put up with some of the crap that you do - I'd go crazy. What's your big secret?"
His big secret?
Well there were the antidepressants at first, but he had been weaned off those. Now there were occasional sessions with a very expensive therapist.
And of course the rare weekend where he'd just get really, really baked.
But he couldn't say all that, could he?
Instead he nodded toward Sasha on the monkey bars.
The main way he was able to deal with everything.
"Yeah," Darryl said, after a minute or so of silence, watching his own daughter. "I hear you, man."
--
Lesson Number Five: That old saying about imitation being the sincerest form of flattery? Complete and utter bullshit.
Today was the last day of videos. He was thrilled. He could see the light at the end of the tunnel.
He made himself comfortable, put his feet up and pressed play. This was nothing. This was easy.
And then....
Toby's great. He's great, but sometimes he can be a little bit much. I don't see the harm in that. Well, it's a cake Toby, so, c'mon.
Oh.
Oh no.
He took a deep breath and rewound it. Heard Jim's voice mocking his own, watched Jim's whole expression change, slacken a little, in his mimicry.
All in all, it was an excellent impression.
So much better than Michael's.
He paused the tape, deep in thought.
It was good in a way. After years of Michael's taunts and abuse, he had become almost numb to certain things. It was good to know he could still get upset. Still feel hurt.
He walked out of the conference room and went into the break room again. There wasn't any coffee so he settled for more water. He could still hear Jim's voice in his head, all mumbly and slow.
That's what he sounded like.
He hadn't always sounded like that.
This time he kicked the watercooler.
It did not make him feel any better.
He supposed that he wasn't really a kick the watercooler type of guy.
He was a just sit there and take it type of guy.
"Hey," Jim said walking into the break room. "Haven't seen you in awhile."
Toby considered decking him, but decided instead to answer calmly. "Been busy."
And maybe if Jim had left then, Toby wouldn't have said anything. Would have let it go and rationalized it somehow. Jim had been having a bad day. Maybe Toby had been really annoying with his request.
"So what's it like? The footage? You learning all of our dirty little secrets?"
Toby took a deep breath. And then another. It didn't help.
He was still seeing red.
Jim was waiting for an answer so Toby said, "I learned all kinds of things. I mean I learned you're great at impressions."
He was really going to do this.
Jim grinned, thinking it was a simple compliment. "Well, I try. I have a reputation."
"Yeah," Toby said. He gulped down some water and said. "When you were doing Stanley and the Miracle Whip... oh and when you did Dwight. That was fantastic!"
"I do aim to please."
Toby nodded. When he spoke again, his voice was uncharacteristically low and angry. "I have to say though the best impression you did was the one of me. I mean you really nailed the pathetic-ness of a grown man begging to be included in a company birthday celebration. It was just dead on. And I thought Michael was good at mocking my voice..."
Jim's grin faded. "Toby..."
He didn't feel like talking anymore. He took another breath and then slowly counted to five.
"I have to go back," he said. "Still have more footage to watch."
He sat alone in the conference room, knowing that unless he watched the rest he'd never finish the project. But he couldn't. Every time he started to watch another segment, he found himself rewinding it to watch Jim's impression again. And again.
There was something very wrong with him.
He was in his sixth viewing of it when there was a knock on the door. He was not up to talking to Jim. Or maybe it would be Michael pissed at him for some reason or other.
He was surprised when he opened the door and saw Nicole.
"I'm not done yet," he told her.
"Okay," she said. "How far along are you?"
Nicole followed him in and he rewound the tape back to Jim's impression. "I'd be further along if I didn't keep rewatching this," Toby said after it was over. "I can't help myself. It's like a car wreck."
Nicole frowned. "You shouldn't do that."
"I know," he said. "I may have self-destructive tendencies."
May have?
She took the tape out of the machine. "Problem solved. It's mine now. I think you only have one tape left. Watch it and I'll find you later today to collect everything."
"Okay," he said.
"Problem solved," she repeated firmly, waiting for him to agree.
"Yeah.," he said. "Problem solved."
If only it were that easy.
She walked toward the door. "Want me to throw the tape at Jim's head? I played softball in high school so I would know how to make it hurt. "
He laughed, more out of surprise than anything else. "Aren't you supposed to be impartial?"
"I am impartial," she said. She paused. "Mostly."
--
He called Ryan, told him he had finished everything and would have a report for him within the next few days and did he happen to have what Toby had asked for? Because he could use it today.
"I have it," Ryan said. "Be by the fax machine at four o'clock. And I'll email it to your home email address as well."
"Great."
Five minutes to four, he stood by the fax machine. He just needed to make it through today. This weekend he would send his resume out. To everyone. To anyone. At this point, he wasn't picky.
Just as long as it wasn't here.
Two minutes to four he felt someone next to him. He didn't look up from the fax machine.
"I'm sorry."
Jim. Toby still didn't look up.
"I was having a crappy day," Jim continued. "I needed to blow off some steam. Sometimes I forget that people are actually going to be seeing this. But that was mean of me and I'm sorry."
He took another deep breath. Tried to gauge how he was feeling. He was still a little angry at Jim, still hurt by his friend's performance.
At the same time, he wasn't too happy with himself either.
"I'm sorry too," Toby said in a low voice, barely above a whisper. He still kept his eyes down, focusing only on the fax machine.
"For what?" Jim asked, sounding surprised.
For what? For harboring a sad, pointless crush on your girlfriend and attempting to gain leverage in any way possible. For clinging desperately to relationship forms and the Finer Things Club and only just now realizing how ridiculous and pathetic that was.
Thank you for pointing that out to him, documentary. Thank you for all that and more.
And then the fax from Ryan came through and Toby let out a small sigh of relief that he could mumble something about work and avoid answering Jim.
--
Toby stayed behind in the annex after Kelly, after everyone left. He should just go home, but he still had a ton of email to go through. Ryan's little project had taken up a lot of time. It would be good to go back to his routine next week.
"You survived!"
He looked up. Nicole. That's right. She had wanted to collect the last tape from him.
"Hey," he said. "I did. But just barely."
She sat down opposite him. "So now that you've seen everything we have so far from start to finish, give me your honest opinion. What did you think? Be brutal if you need to. I can take it."
He tried to sound more enthusiastic than he felt. "It's very impressive. The scope of it. You guys are really good."
"Uh huh."
He tried to think of something else to say. "It's been a real eye-opener."
Nicole nodded. "Did you learn any important lessons""
Important lessons?
Maybe.
"I learned way too much about my coworkers - stuff I never wanted to know."
The whole Michael and Jan relationship was enough to give him nightmares. The Angela and Dwight thing was incredibly disturbing as well.
"I learned I could probably sue Michael for slander and be able to retire early."
"Well that's something. Anything else?"
He didn't answer. Instead he asked, "Do you really think this documentary is going to be successful?"
"Yeah. I think it could be really big. You guys are extremely watchable. Frank's done similar projects before and he's had some success, but he thinks that this is going to be the most popular. You all might become really famous."
He didn't like the sound of that. That was all they needed.
"I mean there are so many reasons people may watch. They might watch it for the comedy of people like Dwight. Or get into watching Michael and seeing what social faux pas he'll make next. And you know people will just go crazy for Pam and Jim. Especially women."
"Sure," he said. "Sure."
"I can see people really rooting for them. But different people root for different things of course."
"I'd root for them," he said.
He wondered if that sounded convincing,
She smiled at him, a very pretty smile he noticed, met his eyes, and said, "I tend to root for the underdog."
That was directed at him.
He wasn't sure he liked that. Underdogs were kind of pitiful and pathetic, right?
No wonder she was directing it at him.
"Okay," he said, standing up. "Here's the last tape. Anything else you need from me?"
"Nope," she said. She stood up too. "Can I ask you one last question?"
He was tempted to say no. He was exhausted and ready to go home. But he found that he liked talking to her and she seemed to like talking to him.
He could stay a few more minutes.
"Alright."
"You watched a ton of footage of yourself, good and bad. Do you think you took away anything from the whole experience?"
Yeah you could say he took away some things.
Such as the paper industry was everything that was wrong with Toby Flenderson.
He rubbed the back of his neck. "This place is slowly killing me," he said, his voice flat. "And I think I need to leave now before things get any worse."
Maybe he shouldn't have said that.
Although with all the footage she had seen of him over the years. she shouldn't have been too surprised.
She smiled again at him. "That certainly is a lot to take away. And I wish you luck in getting the hell out of here."
She seemed very sincere.
And then he had a thought.
Maybe.
Then he thought no. Of course she wouldn't. She was just being nice.
But she was still looking at him. Really looking at him. As if she were waiting for something.
Then he thought maybe again.
And then he thought yes.
Lesson Number Six: Pathetic unrequited crushes suck. Next time, try something that doesn't suck.
"Nicole," Toby said. "Would you like to go out to din-- ?"
"Yes," she interrupted excitedly. Then she blushed. "I probably should have let you finish your sentence. I can be kind of a dork sometimes."
"No," he said. "I mean that was nice."
Really nice. She was practically beaming.
And then she frowned.
Yeah. That was more like it.
"I don't know if I can though," she said. "Because of the filming."
Right. That made sense. He tried not to feel too disappointed.
"Of course," he said. "You have to remain completely impartial."
"To be honest though, I haven't been completely impartial towards you for awhile."
What?
Seriously?
After all the footage she had seen?
"It doesn't matter," she said then. "I'll talk to Frank. We'll work something out. I just won't do any of the taping or editing of your footage. That's okay. I'll just trade with someone. I don't think it'll be too much of a problem. Yes. I would love to go out to dinner with you."
"Okay," he said. "Good."
"Yeah," she said. "Good."
They spent the next few seconds grinning kind of stupidly at each other. She grabbed her tapes and he grabbed his letter from Ryan and they walked out together.
He spent the next day faxing and emailing his resume. He felt good. Productive. Hopeful even.
He called Ryan and thanked him, for the letter and even for the stupid project. Certain parts of the footage had definitely been painful to watch, but in a way it might have been exactly what he had needed.
Hmm. That was quite insightful. Some might even say it was an important lesson he had learned.
He would be sure to share that with Nicole tonight at dinner.
The End
Steph is the author of 37 other stories.
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