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Story Notes:
Italicized bits are lyrics by The Kooks from their song, ‘Seaside.’ It had a vibe that I could envision coming from Jim.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
The salt in the air doesn’t burn the way he thought it would.

Not that he actually thinks ocean air is supposed to burn, but the way he’s feeling inside – rubbed raw, rough and open – makes him believe that perhaps the world should be forcing its salt into those wounds. He’s so tired of that weight inside and physical pain would be a welcome distraction at this point, just to get away from those feelings.

But he is not here to mope. And he is determined not to think about Casino Night or their (absolutely unforgettable) kiss. Instead he just wants to be.

Jim closes his eyes and lets his body fall back, heavy and limp into the perfect white sand.

Do you want to go to the seaside?
I’m not trying to say that everybody wants to go
I fell in love at the seaside


He can’t help it when his thoughts wander and reach back into the recesses of his memories and latch onto something that Pam had said to him, a long time ago.

He remembers how she had confessed, so wistfully with that faraway look in her eyes during a game of ‘Never Have I Ever,’ that she had never seen the Pacific Ocean.

He remembers joking that he didn’t find the Pacific Ocean any different than the Atlantic and that he’d drive her to the Atlantic if she just wanted to see an ocean. She had rebutted with a faint flush in her cheeks and a firmness in her voice that it wasn’t the same -- that there was something fresher and freer and bluer to the water and even the air; that the Atlantic might be good for seafood but oh, you can fall in love by the Pacific.

He remembers oh so vividly that if he could take her to the Pacific Ocean, to the seaside, that maybe she’d fall in love with him.

Because in that moment, he knew he had fallen in love with her.

But I'm just trying to love you
In any kind of way


Jim opens his eyes and stares up into the sky, its perfect blue beginning to darken to duskier lavender. He hears and feels the waves lap up the cream-colored sand and lick at his bare feet. This place embodies so many parts of perfection and it breaks his heart.

Australia was only supposed to be a place, the farthest place from Scranton he could think of. Instead he wishes (so hard that it leaves him out of breath) he could have taken Pam with him. To this perfectly fresh and free and blue place with the Pacific Ocean washing across their toes and maybe she would have fallen in love. The way he had already so deeply fallen in love with her.

Jim feels the burn now, the salt rubbing against his heart and the smolder behind his eyelids and a ragged sigh that feels almost painful rushing out of his throat and across his lips. And he feels the hotness of unwanted tears dripping down the sides of his face and catching at times at the corner of his mouth and the salt burns even more.

But I find it hard to love you girl
When you're far away
Away
Chapter End Notes:
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