When five o’clock finally came around, she saw that Jim didn’t really seem in any hurry to leave so she puttered around to wait for him. Finally, he glanced over at her and gave her a half-hearted sort of smile then started to shut down for the night. Pam followed his lead to find him holding her coat as she turned toward the rack by her desk.

“You were waiting for me,” he said simply.

“I just needed someone to walk me to my car,” she teased.

“My pleasure,” he said stepping back so she could precede him to the door, which he held. “I’m glad you waited.” Pam smiled then pushed the button for the elevator.

“So, not really the best day for you, huh?” she asked just as the door opened and they stepped into the car.

“I’ve had better,” he agreed. She reached out and took hold of his hand gently squeezing his fingers in support. Jim looked down at her and just seemed sad. Her heart went out to him, she knew some of what happened from Rolando, but looking at him now she realized just how deeply he’d been affected. Pam reached up placing her hand on the side of his neck to pull him down so she could kiss him. His reaction was a bit delayed but he finally returned the kiss.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?” he asked.

“You just looked like you could use it,” Pam said with a slight shrug. “You know if you want to talk about it I can switch out of girlfriend mode and just be best friend Pam if you need me to.” He smiled at that.

“Thanks, I just somehow hoped that I could lay low in Utica,” he said. “I realize that was virtually impossible with Michael and Dwight in full on secret agent mode.”

“Inevitable capture guaranteed,” she said.

“Exactly, we even had walkie-talkies, I should have been able to predict the outcome. I was hiding in the car for Pete’s sake,” he told her.

“Let me guess,” she said. “That’s when she saw you.”

“Yeah, cowering in the front seat with Michael telling me to sleep with her to distract her,” he said. Pam’s reaction was one of complete disbelief. “I’m pretty sure she heard it too."

“Oh my gosh, Jim,” she said they’d gotten off the elevator and were now in the parking lot. “I knew he could be inappropriate but that was…”

“I know,” he said sadly. “Then I just couldn’t figure out what to say to her, so of course I said the exact wrong thing.”

“Do I want to know what that was?” Pam asked.

“She thought I’d tagged along with Michael because I really did want to see her,” he said. “I denied it, but realized it sounded awful so I said I did, but then that I didn’t so I followed up with you and I being together and happy and that just…”

“Oh no,” Pam said knowing it was going to get worse from there. “I don’t understand, you’re usually good with people even under pressure.”

“I know, but I can’t ever seem to say the right thing to her everything I think of just seems to make things worse,” he stopped and looked down at the ground as if ashamed to admit what he said next. “Even when we were dating I just felt like she never really got me, you know. Not like…”

“What?” she asked when he stopped abruptly.

“Not like with you,” he admitted quietly. Jim took her hands in his and slowly looked up into her eyes. “No matter what, even when things weren’t great between us I could tell you something and you just got it. I guess that should have been the big hint, huh?”

“For both of us,” she nodded. “It was the same with Roy a lot of the time, I used to feel guilty about that because I knew I could tell you and you would understand or laugh with me and that should have told me all I needed to know.” Jim smiled then reached out his hand to cup her cheek and kissed her lightly on the mouth.

“What was that for?” she parroted his question from the elevator.

“I just like doing it,” he told her. They parted after a few more seconds and Jim walked with her the rest of the way to her car. “So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Absolutely,” she told him. Jim turned and went toward his car Pam watched him until he’d pulled out of the lot and disappeared. She simply sat for a moment then made a decision.

Jim had been sitting on his couch for the past hour absently surfing the channels and trying not to think about everything that happened. He’d removed his jacket and tie but that was all he’d done other than fall onto the sofa and stare unseeing at the T.V. At the sound of knocking on the door, he looked up, sighed heavily and went to answer it. Oddly enough, he wasn’t really expecting to see Pam standing in front of him.

“Hey, I know we didn’t really plan anything but I just got this weird feeling you haven’t eaten,” she said with a wide smile holding a brown bag up for him to see. “If you want I can just leave this with you and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“No, come in,” he said stepping back.

“Well, I got enough for two, just in case,” she admitted. Jim managed a half smile as he stepped back. On her way to the kitchen, she saw that he’d tossed his tie and jacket over the back of a chair. Jim wasn’t the neatest person in the world but he generally picked up after himself so she knew he was still brooding. She pulled two plates from the cupboard and started transferring the food from the containers in the bag.

“Beer or a soda?” he asked from behind her. Pam turned when he spoke she hadn’t heard him follow her.

“Sodas fine,” she said as he pulled two cans out.

“You didn’t bring a bag,” he said somewhat casually. Pam stopped and turned fully to face him leaning back against the counter.

“It’s, um… actually in the car,” she told him with a sheepish grin. “I didn’t want to presume.”

“Keys,” he said rather than asking.

“In my purse by the door,” she told him. “It’s behind the driver’s seat.” Jim nodded briefly then went toward the front door. Pam turned back to fixing plates for them smiling because he knew her and was going out to her car to get her overnight bag. After setting the plates on the table, she picked up his discarded clothes and took them back to his room to hang up. Jim came back in and didn’t see her right away so he set her bag aside then went into the kitchen.

As she was coming back from the bedroom, Jim stepped out of the kitchen with their sodas in his hands and moved to the small dinning table. They sat down and began eating Pam watched him covertly and saw that he was really just pushing his food around the plate taking the occasional bite here and there.

“Andy tried to buy his way into the finer things club,” she said trying to break the silence since it was just giving him more time to replay the day in his head.

“Really?” he asked though it sounded more like an automatic response than any real interest on his part. She became quiet again since he really didn’t seem to require any more information about the subject.

“You know, I don’t have to stay if you’d rather be alone,” she told him. That at least caught his attention and he raised his eyes to her.

“No, I want you here,” he said. “I just, I feel bad because I hurt her and I shouldn’t have.”

“I’m really sorry that she still feels angry, bitter or hurt over what happened between you. I still believe you did the right thing, not just because you chose me, but because I believed you when you said you were trying to be someone else when you were with her,” Pam told him. She reached out to put her hand over his. “Do you think it would have been better if you hadn’t broken up with her?”

“What?” he asked, her question really got his attention. “No, of course not, these past few months with you have been amazing, even more amazing than I thought it would be.” He reached out and brushed his fingers over her cheek.

“I’ve just never seen you so down and not be able to shake out of it,” she said concern lacing her words.

“I will, I just feel guilty and I hate that I feel guilty because I should be happy right now,” he told her.

“There’s no way we’re going to be completely happy all the time, you’re still going to do things that tick me off occasionally and I’m sure I’ll frustrate the daylights out of you from time to time. Not to mention everything else in the world that can get you down,” she said logically. “These first few months we’ve been together have lulled you into a false sense of security, while I’m pretty sure I’ll be sublimely ecstatic for the majority of the rest of my life I can handle it if we have a few days that are less than stellar.”

“I do know that, I just like how it’s felt being so happy,” he said.

“Okay, well is there anything I can do to make you happy again, or do you still need time to brood?” she asked him.

“I’m not brooding,” he argued.

“Moping?” she offered.

“No,” Jim denied.

“Dwelling then, because happy fun boy you are not,” she told him.

“Okay, maybe dwelling,” he allowed.

“So, do you need a story or a joke maybe?” she offered in an effort to bring his smile back.

“I’m not sure a story or a joke is really going to do it for this,” he said seriously.

“Hm, well, this is a tough one,” Pam said putting a finger to her lips as though she were deep in thought about the problem. “I really would hate to simply try and appease the problem physically, because I don’t think that truly addresses the issue.” Even as she said it, Pam rose from her chair still holding his hand and shifted until she was sitting in his lap.

“I’d be willing to give it shot, I don’t think it could hurt,” he told her and put his free hand across her thighs gently rubbing the fabric of her skirt until the warmth of her skin permeated through to his fingers.

“You can be such a ‘guy’ sometimes,” she chuckled and rolled her eyes. At that, Jim stood up with her cradled in his arms.

“That kind of comes with the territory,” he said and started back toward his bedroom.

“What about dinner?” she asked looking back over his shoulder.

“I’m done,” he said.

“But you barely touched your food,” she said even as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Pam,” he said so she looked up into his eyes. “Shut up.” Before she could say anything else, he kissed her.

Jim set her on his bed planting his left knee next to her hip, his right leg drew up between hers. Pam ran her hands up his arms gripping his biceps and pulling him down so his body covered hers.

“Can I just say one more thing?” she asked even with his mouth doing delicious things to her neck.

“Just make it quick, I’m working on a theme here,” he said. Pam smiled then lifted her hand to brush her fingers through his hair.

“You should know that no matter what anyone says or thinks about you, I think you are a great guy,” she told him. “I’ve thought that ever since we first met.” Jim smiled and lowered his eyes she touched his cheek lightly then moved down to the buttons of his shirt.

End