10. Average number of times Jan calls him every work day to complain about her morning sickness, her sore joints, her hyper-sensitive sense of smell, or something that he can actually do something about.
9. Number of times Jan has asked him this week if he still loves her now that she is so fat. After the first time, he knows the right answer.
8. Number of weeks until Jan’s due date. Actually, seven weeks, four days.
7. Number of women who came to Jan’s baby shower. It should have been nine, but at least the “declining” RSVP from the attorney representing her mother and sister was on lovely stationery.
6. Number of times Jan has awakened him in the middle of the night to feel the baby kicking.
5. Number of times Jan has awakened him in the middle of the night sobbing hysterically because she is scared and she isn’t sure they are ready for this.
4. Number of obstetrical visits to which he accompanied Jan before she forbid him to come to any more.
3. Number of ultrasounds before they could tell for sure if it was a boy or a girl. Only the first one was covered by insurance, but Jan would not rest until she knew.
2. Average number out of 10 calls that Jan can’t remember what she is calling about.
1. Number of times he is willing to go through all of this.
0. Number of things in life he would trade all this for.
