He drained the bottle and threw it on the floor, joining the three others.  He pulled another bottle out and twisted off the cap.  ‘Thank God for 24 hour gas stations’ he thought to himself.  He had stopped on his way home from Casino Night, kicking himself the entire time.  He sipped the beer as he thought about what had happened.

 He only came back to tell her that he was leaving, that Jan had worked it out so that he could finish up any left over work on Monday and Tuesday and take the rest of the week to make the move.  They needed him immediately in Stamford.  No matter what, he didn’t feel right about just up and leaving her like that.  It wasn’t until he saw her standing there, only lit by emergency lights and moonlight that he was struck by her. 

As she hung up the phone and said his name, he couldn’t help himself.  He had to know just once what it was like to kiss her, to feel her in his arms.  That moment would stick with him for the rest of his life, he knew that instantly.  As she wound her fingers through his hair and sunk into the kiss, he thought that he might just be able to have what he really wanted. 

That was until she pulled back. Her hand flew to her mouth and he immediately let her go.  “Pam…”

She just shook her head.  “I can’t… I can’t…” and with that, she was gone.  She ran past him and out the door.  He walked into the conference room and watched out the window, begging Ryan for a ride home.  He nodded and Pam climbed into the car.  Ryan looked up and saw him standing at the window.  He gave a slight wave and got in the car.  He dug his keys out of his pocket and headed home. 

“Moron” he said to himself, grabbing the remote off the table, turning on the radio.  It was loud and irritating, but he needed something to make the memories in his head go away.  He stared out the window, finishing off his beer. 

“JIM!”  He looked over and saw his roommate glaring at him, half asleep.  “Do you mind?  It’s like 3am.”

“Sorry” he mumbled as he turned the radio off.  He pushed himself off the couch and kicked the empty bottles.

“How was casino night?”

“Crap.”

“Man, you look beat.  You should get some sleep.”

“Can’t.  I have to pack” Jim said as he pushed past his roommate, heading toward his room.

+++

She awoke with a start as Roy pushed against her shoulder.  “Can I watch TV?”  She pushed herself off the couch, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.  When she got home last night, the thought of crawling into bed next to Roy made her nauseous.  She collapsed on the couch, running her fingers over her lips, remembering that kiss… that one amazing kiss.

She had been with Roy for so long that she had forgotten what it was like to kiss anyone else. Roy had always been rough, immediately thrusting his tongue into her mouth.  He didn’t like to just kiss her, never really did.  If he was kissing her, he wanted sex.  She had gotten used to this, until last night.  When Jim kissed her softly and sweetly, she realized that she had been missing out on a whole other aspect of kissing, not that she’d ever be able to get Roy to change. 

“So, can I?”  He was staring at her, remote in hand. 

“Whatever” she said, pushing herself off the couch.

“Why’d you sleep out here?”  She just shrugged and he flipped on the TV.  She headed down the hall to the bathroom.

“Make me some pancakes, would you?”  She sighed and slammed the bathroom door, ignoring him yelling her name.

30 minutes later, she felt cleaner, but nowhere near refreshed.  She didn’t think she could stomach Roy today, sitting on the couch, only taking to her when he wanted food or something to drink.  She quickly got dressed and grabbed her purse.

“I’m going to see Mom today.  May spend the night” she said as she threw open the door.  She waited for a split second for a response, but she knew she wasn’t going to get one.  She just shook her head and slammed the door.  She got in her car and stared at her hands on the steering wheel.  She slipped the diamond off her left hand and dropped it in her purse, turning the car on and heading toward her parents’ house.

+++

She smiled brightly as the elevator doors opened.  After spending hours talking to her mom, she finally decided to call off the wedding and leave Roy.  The minute she verbalized that thought, she immediately felt free.  They spent a lot of time talking about Jim and Pam finally realized.  Her and her mom drove back to the apartment Sunday morning.  Her mom packed her clothes while she returned the ring to Roy.  He barely put up a fight.  The only question he asked was if he could keep the apartment – one of the guys from the warehouse was interested in moving in.  She agreed.  Her mom convinced her to call in sick on Monday so that they could get the rest of the stuff while Roy wasn’t around.  By Monday night, Pam could feel her life finally starting to make sense and, for the first time in years, she finally was starting to feel like herself again. 

She threw open the door and walked in, stopping dead in her tracks.  Jim wasn’t at his desk this morning – Ryan was.  He was packing Jim’s personal stuff in a box.  She grabbed him and pulled him into the hallway.

“What’s going on?  What are you doing?”

“Michael told me to take Jim’s desk.  I think he just wants me closer to him, which is really creeping me out, but…”

“What do you mean?  You can’t have Jim’s desk!”

Ryan sighed, shoving his hands in his pocket.  “He didn’t tell you, did he?”

“Tell me what?”  Her heart started to pound in her chest. 

“He got a promotion, in Stamford.  Jan offered it to him a couple of weeks ago and then, well, I guess he decided to take it Friday night.  He was going to work here today, but Jan called him late on Sunday, saying they needed him up there ASAP.  He was here part of the day yesterday and he asked me to…”

“Jim’s gone.”  She said it to herself, forgetting that Ryan was standing there.  He just nodded and patted her shoulder.  “I’m sorry, Pam.  I thought he was going to tell you.”

She looked at him, tears in her eyes.  “I broke up with Roy.  We aren’t getting married.”

“Damn” Ryan said, shaking his head.  Pam took a deep breath and headed back inside, dropping into her chair, wondering how she was going to get through the day.