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Author's Chapter Notes:

I wore a dress to a wedding on Friday that I loved but felt a tad out of place in.  Because I am living, breathing, eating fanfic at the moment that fact manifested into this.

 

It’s something that’s been touched on many times before – but most recently Willow, Colette and some of those five things thing-ys have gotten to me. Also some Season 3 speculation/spoilers.  (Nothing new – no top secret info – just the idea that Jim goes to Stamford for some period of time and there might be women who work there.)

 

Poor Pam.  Hopefully Jim can convince her.

Kisses and hugs to Morning Angel for the beta. :) 

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author.  The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise.  No copyright infringement is intended.

Beautiful

He checks his watch, realizing she’s been gone longer than she should be.  He smiles and nods at the corporate big wig who’s dominating the conversation.

Since his promotion corporate events are now something he has to endure.  He used to think that his job was a joke, he used to think he’d rather die than have this become his career.

He’s not going to lie – at least – not to her or to himself.  It’s still pretty much a joke, but he has reasons to take it more seriously now.  He now has responsibilities, dreams, and someone else’s life to consider.

He’s resigned to the fact that when you decide that you intend to give someone the world being gainfully employed always helps matters.

He waits for a lull in the conversation and politely excuses himself. 

It doesn’t take him long to find her.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

She can’t believe things have changed so drastically in so short a time.  She’d felt so pretty earlier tonight.  He has this amazing way of making her feel incredibly attractive. 

When he saw her lay the dress out on the bed he had smiled widely.  She thought at the time that he actually might have been blushing a bit.    Memories of the last time she wore it filled her mind and it’s was like he could read it.

Just like that night a year ago he swooped in and kissed her breathless.

When she took a shower he stood outside at the sink, humming to himself as he shaved.  She squealed when without warning – even though he’d showered just a half hour before - he jumped in and joined her. 

Now, hours later, remembering the way he’d grabbed her shampoo and ran his fingers through her hair still makes her spine tingle.

She clutches a glass of wine in her hand and makes her way over to the window to look out at the city below.  Tears spring to her eyes again as she catches her reflection in the glass.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

When he lays his eyes on her instantly he sees that something’s wrong.  Her shoulders are hunched and he watches as she places her glass down on a nearby table.  It wobbles as she lets go, her hands clearly shaky. 

She sinks into the couch and ducks her head.  He watches her open her purse and then snap it shut again quickly.  Her fingers are now clutching a tissue.

His heart falls to his stomach when he realizes she’s crying.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

“There you are.”  He whispers as he approaches her.

“Hey.”  She blinks back tears and pastes a smile on her face.

He knows now she needs time before she lets him in on what’s bothering her.  He leans down and brushes his lips across hers.  “I missed you.”

“I’m sorry.  I was in the Ladies’ Room.”  She replies, her voice small and soft. 

“I know.”  He nods his voice full of concern as he rubs a circle with his hand over the small of her back.  “You feeling OK?  You were gone a long time.”

“I’m fine.”  She answers too quickly.

Pam.”  He knows better.

She still won’t meet his eyes.  “I am.  I’m fine.  I have a little headache.”

He also knows now that she gets a headache every time she’s really upset. 

“C’mon.”  He coaxes her as he moves to sit beside her.  “What happened?” 

She pulls at the hem of the skirt of her dress. 

“I should have worn something else.”  She begins, so low he doesn’t quite hear her clearly.

He doesn’t understand what she’s saying.  “What?”

Her voice is choked with tears.  She still won’t look at him.  “I didn’t…I should have realized.  All the other women here are wearing…I mean I look…”

“Beautiful.”  He whispers as he leans closer.   He kisses the side of her neck, smiling against her skin, lingering over it for a long, lovely moment. “You look beautiful.”

She shakes her head and stands, moving towards the windows again.  She’s having trouble catching her breath as she pushes a door open and stands on the terrace outside the ballroom.

He’s no more than five seconds behind her.

“Pam?”  He calls softly as he approaches her.   She’s doing that thing she does, hugging her arms protectively around herself. 

She has been doing that a lot less lately.  He liked to think it was because of him.  To see her as she looks now - clearly uncomfortable - is killing him.

When he reaches her side she turns to him and sinks slowly into his arms. 

“Hey.”  He hugs her close and places a soft kiss on the top of her head before resting his cheek against her hair.

“I’m sorry.”  She sobs into his shoulder.  She fists the lapel of his suit in her hand and holds on tight.

“Shh.”  He can’t stand to hear her cry.  “Don’t be sorry.  Just tell me what’s wrong.”

“I was in the Ladies’ Room.”  She begins her breath hitching.

“OK.”  He’s still baffled.

“I guess they didn’t know I was there.  At least I hope not…”  Oh God.  She thinks desperately.  What if they did?  What if what they really wanted was for her to hear?

He’s still beyond confused.  “Who?”

“Those women you used to work with.  In Stamford.   And they…they were talking about you.”  She sniffles and inches closer.  “That one, you know the one you say you used to eat lunch with?  Well let me tell you - she still thinks you’re ‘totally hot’.”  Pam says mockingly.  She laughs then but he can hear that it’s bitter.

Anger flashes in his eyes.  He thinks he’s getting the picture.  “What the hell happened?”

She starts talking, reciting the conversation verbatim.  Her voice breaks on every other word.

“Oh my God.  Jim Halpert is here.  Did you see him?  He’s ‘totally hot’ but what’s up with the girl he’s with?  I mean what’s with that thing she has on?  This isn’t the prom honey, or your sister’s wedding.  I’m almost positive it’s a bridesmaid dress.  And her hair…there are products to take care of that frizz…try the drugstore sweetie.  I mean…are you kidding me?  What could he possibly see in her?  Trust me.  He could do so much better than that…”

She sobs again and he simply can’t stand it.

“OK.  OK.  Shh.  Hold on.”   His blood boils and at this precise moment he wants her to point out each and every one of them so that he can tell them all where to go and exactly how to get there. 

“Did they even apologize when they saw you were there?”

She leans back and shakes her head at him.  “I waited until they left.  Do you think I’d show my face after that!?”

He doesn’t answer but it’s alright.  She knows what she should do anyway.

“I’m just going to go up to the room.”  She says as she slides out of his arms and stands a few feet away.   “I know you need to stay.   It’s OK…”

He can’t believe she thinks he’ll just brush this off.  “It’s not OK.  It’s a million miles away from OK Pam…”

She presses her hands against his chest to keep him away.  “I’m not like them, Jim.  I’m not.  I know I can’t compete and I’m OK with that.  Most of the time it’s fine.  But I just don’t want…”

She takes a deep breath and her eyes fleetingly meet his. 

“I just don’t want to embarrass you.”

And there it is.  Now he knows what the real problem is. 

He can’t believe she still doesn’t get it. 

Pam.”

He knows what he has to do now.  First, he needs to make her smile again.  Really smile.  Not the kind she gives him just so that he’ll stop pushing.

“Are you carrying my yearbook picture in that purse?”  He asks.

She blinks at him in surprise.  “Um.  No…”

He sighs heavily.  “Well.  That’s a relief.  Embarrassing me is pretty much impossible then.”

And with that she laughs.  And just like every other time he hears the sound, the tightening in his chest eases and he feels like he can breathe again.

She dabs her eyes with the tissue and sniffles.  “Jim.  You know what I mean.  I’m not anything like them.”

He takes a step closer.  “Thank God.  I’d hate to find out you were a catty, bitter, miserable bitch after all this time.”

Jim.”  She laughs again.

“Why do you even care what they think of you?”  He rubs the back of his neck and tilts his head at her.  “They clearly have horrible taste.”

“I don’t care what they think of me – not really.”  She protests. 

She takes a steadying breath and meets his eyes.  “I really only care about you.”

Closing the distance between them, his hands slide across the silk of her dress, spanning her waist. “Good.  In that case, let me fill you in.  I happen to think you’re amazing.”

She rolls her eyes.  “I’m amazing by Scranton standards...”

He gives her lopsided grin and an incredulous look.  “Are there any other?”

The sorrow is back in her eyes.  He hates himself for putting it there.

“Apparently so.”  She shivers as she tears her eyes from his.

He rubs his hands up and down her arms hoping to soothe her and finally make her see.  “You know what?  Fuck ‘em.  I love that dress.”

She ducks her head and shoves him slightly.   “Jim.  Stop.”

He won’t be deterred.  “I love you in that dress...and out of that dress.”  He bends his head and kisses her slowly, tenderly lingering over it like he has all night. 

She’s learned he has this way of kissing her that never fails to make her knees weak and her head spin.  He knows it too.  It’s evident by the fact that he smiles smugly when he pulls away. 

“Actually?”  He adds as he pulls her closer.  “Come to think of it I pretty much just love you.”

There’s a long silence and she reaches up to smooth a lock of hair off his forehead.  Her hand runs over his cheek and towards his throat.  She lets his tie slip through her fingers. 

“I love you too.” She finally replies, smoothing an invisible wrinkle in his shirt as her hand slides across his chest, her heartbeat picking up as she feels his own thundering under her palm.  “I just don’t want to disappoint you.”

His eyes meet hers and in that precise moment she sees herself as he does. 

Beautiful.  Sexy.  Perfect.

She can believe almost anything when he looks at her like that.

She suddenly feels foolish for letting those women get to her.   It’s just that every so often she’s afraid.  She’s afraid that maybe he’ll change his mind.  That maybe one day he’ll wake up and want to go back to dating the kind of women who know how to keep their hair straight and who own a different purse to match every outfit.  

She smiles genuinely for the first time in hours.   She’s over it.  He’s right.  Who cares what they think?  They can talk all they want.  It still won’t change the fact that he chose her. 

It won’t change the fact that she’s the one who gets to go home with him at the end of the night. 

With his hand firmly in hers, she’s ready to go back inside and stand beside him.  She just hopes they don’t have to stay too much longer.

She can’t wait to get him alone in their room. 

Noticing the look on her face he takes a deep breath and decides now is as good a time as any. 

“There is only one way you could ever disappoint me.”  His voice is suddenly gravelly and a bit strained – like it is when he first wakes up in the morning. 

“How’s that?”  She whispers as she tilts her face up to his and grins.

His breath is warm as he pulls her close to whisper in her ear.  Her eyes widen as she hears his reply. 

“I’d be really disappointed if when I ask you this question, your answer is no.”



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