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Story Notes:

It's AU. And the title comes from the song by Bright Eyes. And it's uh...yeah. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. But it came into my head and demanded to be written down.

Author's Chapter Notes:

Also? I kind of totally want to make this into a longer story. I might. We'll see how the reception for this one is.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

 

He can't sleep.

He's not sure if it's because the season is changing, and he's not used to the warm weather, but he knows that part of it is Pam.

(All of it is Pam, honestly.)


He can't sleep. It's been days, and he still can't sleep. When he closes his eyes he sees her in that dress, that iridescent blue, and he can feel it under his hands still. He hears her words, soft and tragic. (I can't.)


He sometimes thinks he heard his heart breaking in that moment. Like a shrill scream, it ripped apart and tumbled to the bottom of his stomach.


He can't sleep. Because when he hates to close his eyes and still hear her words, and still hear her soft apology, floating across the warm May night. The windows are open in their apartment, and a breeze carries her words across the small space. Roy is lost, glancing around their apartment trying to find answers in the things they shared.


She called off their engagement. She took his world, and shook it up like a snow globe, not waiting to see where the pieces fell.


"We're settling," she had said. "We don't love one another anymore." He had protested, but Pam had placed a finger to his lips and shook her head. "We don't."

(But what she should have said was that she didn't.)

 


Jim asks her not to call him.


He doesn't come back to the Scranton office at all. He emails Michael, and avoids that confrontation, and he ignores all the emails and voice mails that Pam leaves. Because he doesn't need to hear her say she's sorry for the millionth time.


He's on his way to the airport to finally take that trip to Australia when he summons the courage to call her and tell her not to call him.


She answers breathless on the fourth ring (not that he's counting).


"Jim?" She asks. "Please, I need to talk to you."


"I need you not to call me anymore." And he hangs up the phone. He waits for her to call back. To disregard his words and be anti-Pam and force a confrontation that probably needs to happen.


(She doesn't call.)

 

 

Kelly tells him that Jim's gone to Australia. He and Ryan are friends (in a sort of way). Ryan tells Kelly that Jim's taken off, and Kelly tells Pam.


"And he's gone to Australia finally, and then Ryan says that he's gotten a transfer to Stamford, which is really cool, because it's by the ocean, and wouldn't that kind of be like Laguna Beach only the East coast, paler version? And Ryan says that Jim asked for the paperwork to be done by the time he gets back from his trip, and isn't that crazy? I really want to go to Australia, only not as much as I want to go to other places, like London, because that's where Tyra took the top models last season." Pam only half listens. (But everyone only half listens to Kelly).


He was transferring. He asked her not to call him anymore.

She was going to respect his wishes. She was going to give him time and then when he came back to the office she was going to tell him about calling off the wedding and how she's an idiot and how she didn't misinterpret anything.


But he wasn't coming back to the office. Ever.


It takes Pam two hundred and forty six seconds after Kelly tells her to make a decision.


She uses the money she gets back from the deposits from the wedding that will never happen.


(She buys a ticket to Australia.)

 

 

 

He hits on the Australian girls, and when they smile and flip their hair, all he can see are Pam's eyes and curly hair.


He gets drunk on Australian beer and stumbles back to his hotel room. He picks up the phone and wonders if he should call her. (His fingers dial three of the numbers before he hangs it up again).


He imagines her in a wedding gown, going in for her last fittings, arranging the last minute details. He thinks of her walking down the aisle to Roy. (Although he can't help but replace Roy in his head with himself sometimes when he's feeling particularly masochistic).


He calls his mother his second day to check in, but his mother's thinly veiled worry makes it hard to talk to her, and even harder to call back again.


He wonders why he wasted all this money coming to Australia when he could have been miserable and drunk and heartbroken at home. (Or not home, Stamford.)


He thinks he might be seeing things when he spots a flash of curly hair on the other side of the hotel lobby as he heads down to meet a tour group. He wonders how much he had to drink the night before when he swears its Pam standing in his hotel in Australia. Two days before her wedding, biting her nail and glancing around.


She spots him. Her hand lifts in a small wave, and she weaves around the people gathering to take the tour. She stops three feet in front of him, and then she blushes.


"Hi," she says.


"Hi," he shakes his head. "Uh, I don't know if you know this, but you're in Australia."


"I know," she says. "I called off the wedding." His heart is pounding against his rib cage, and his mouth feels dry, and his head is sort of buzzing.


"So you came all the way to Australia?" He asked, but he allows the corners of his mouth to quirk up into a smile, and she blushes and shrugs a little bit.


"You told me not to call," she answers. And he thinks, if it's possible, he loves her a little more.


(He skips the tour.)

 

 

She tells him she's sorry, and she made a mistake, and she asks him to forgive her, as they lay in his hotel bed. She didn't get a room, and he teasingly asks her what she was going to do if he didn't say yes. She doesn't have an answer, but she points out that calling off your wedding a week before, using the money to jump on a plane and fly to Australia doesn't generally call for a ton of planning.


They are lying on top of the covers, fully clothed. Jim's occupied with running his hands through her curly hair as she tells him about how she decided to call off the wedding to Roy. Her voice breaks and she begins to cry, and she apologizes, and he kisses the places where the tears have caused a salty trail down her cheek.
They talk about what could happen next, about his transfer to Stamford. He offers to quit for her, and she shushes him, kissing him on the lips.


"We'll figure it out," she assures him.


"This Fancy New Beesly who calls off her wedding and flies on a whim halfway across the world is very Zen," Jim teases. Pam shrugs, and slips off his t-shirt and runs her hands up his chest. "and very forward."


"Very," she agrees capturing his mouth with a kiss.


(He doesn't argue.)

 

 

 

In the end, Pam goes with him.


She quits her job. Jim argues with her, but she tells him that she doesn't need it. She'll find something in Stamford. She's pretty excited about starting over. (New town, new job, new boyfriend, new Pam.)


Her mother packed up her things while she was in Australia. She dealt with Roy, and the aftermath of his falling apart. Pam apologizes to her mother and promises that somehow she'll make it up to her.


"Just be happy," her mother says, running a hand down her daughter's cheek and cupping it in her hands.


"I will be," Pam nods. They are loading her boxes in Jim's U-Haul. Her dad and Jim's dad are getting along great, arguing good naturedly about the correct way to pack the truck. Her mother and Jim's mother are fretting together, both trying to get Pam and Jim to change their minds and stay in Scranton instead. No one mentions the wedding that was supposed to have happened two weeks before. No one mentions Roy, or the fact that he's starting again too.


Jim is grinning at her as they load the rest of their things into his car. His dad is going to drive the U-Haul with Mr. Beesly as Pam and Jim drive his car and both their mothers are going to taket turns driving Pam's newly purchased car.


Pam wonders if they are moving too fast. She wonders if she should be giving herself some space and time to figure out how to be just Pam, and not the second half of Pam and Roy, or Pam and Jim.


She wonders if it's a mistake moving with him. If they're going to Stamford and fall apart.


But Jim takes her hand, and he's still tan from Australia, and his smile is so wide that she thinks she could fall into it and keep falling forever, and she knows that this is a good idea.


"Ready?" Jim asks, and she feels flutters in her stomach as she nods and he starts the car and they drive out of Scranton. He gives her hand a squeeze and meets her eyes and grins at her.


It doesn't seem like he can stop grinning.


(It doesn't seem like either of them can.)

 

 

 

 

 



sillyrabbit519 is the author of 14 other stories.
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