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Second Chance

Jim sighs as he drives to pick Pam up from her art class.  Even for something so simple he never realized how much planning was involved.  It stood to reason that something momentous should take time to accomplish.

He always dreamed he’d get to this place – even if he didn’t always know.

It’d been kinda shaky for a while there.

But the moment she’d kissed him back he’d begun to believe.  Suddenly - dreams turned to hopes and hopes turned to plans and those plans - let’s just say they were well on their way to being realized.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Earlier that week he had taken some extra time after one of his sales calls.  He smiled all the way as he drove out to his Mom’s house.  She met him at the door and nearly bounced out of her shoes.

“Oh.  My baby.”  She sniffled.

“Stop it Ma.”  He gave her a look as he pressed a kiss to her cheek and tried to move past her.

She snagged his arm.  “Look at you.  You’re all grown up.”  She licked her fingers and moved to smooth down his hair.

“And stop wiping your spit on me.”  He sidestepped her.  “Do you have any idea how disgusting that is?”

“You - and that mess you call your hair - wouldn’t be here at all if not for me.”  She shot back at him.  “Deal with it.”

He knew when he was fighting a losing battle.  He took a deep breath and smiled down at her. 

“So.”

“So.”  She sighed, grinning widely.   “Are you sure you’re ready?”

“Yeah.”  He nodded and ducked his head.  “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

“Well.  I for one couldn’t possibly be happier for you.  Honey, she’s just beautiful.” 

He couldn’t agree more.  “Yeah she is.”

“And - incredibly sweet.”  She added.

He nodded again.  “That too.”

“And best of all - she’s not afraid to give you shit.”  She smiled widely.

“Hey.  Nice mouth.”  He scolded her.

His mother ignores him.  “She’s a lot like your grandmother actually.  Quiet but spunky underneath it all.”  She turned to the table beside her before she took his hand in hers and carefully pressed a small velvet box into his palm.   “She’d definitely approve.”

“You really think so?”  He asked earnestly as his fingers closed over the box.  He clutched it tightly in his fist.

She smiled wider as she threw her arms around him hugging him tightly.   “Oh honey.  Absolutely.”

xoxoxoxoxoxo

She has a smudge of blue paint under her eye, a splatter of red across her nose, almost looking like she’d put it there deliberately.  It looked kind of like freckles. 

Her brow is wrinkled as she paces next to the canvas.  She wipes her free hand on her jeans and taps her paintbrush against her hip.

Even like this, covered in paint splatters, she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen in his life. 

Instinctively, she can feel Jim’s eyes on her.  She turns and sees him at the door and nearly skips over to meet him.

“Hi.”  Pam smiles as his lips meet hers.

“Hi.”  He kisses her again.  “Ready to go?”

“Almost done.”  She promises as she slips away.

“Take your time.”  He settles into a chair and pulls out a book.  He’s come to know that Pam’s version of ‘almost done’ means that she’s anything but.

A half hour later she nudges his foot with her sneaker.  “Hey.”

His eyes meet hers as he snaps his book closed.  He gives her a small half grin.  “What?  Finished already?” 

“Shut up.”  She kicks his foot again.

“So.  Are you going to let me see it yet?”  He asks hopefully.

She shakes her head vehemently and her eyes fly open wide.  “No.  It’s not ready.”

He gives her a look that says ‘C’mon.  Are you kidding me?’  He smiles wider.  “I’m pretty sure it’s brilliant.”

“Yeah – well.  You always say that.  I think your perception is severely warped.”  She sighs as she reaches for his hand and pulls him from the chair.  He resists slightly, making her wobble a bit as she tugs. 

He grabs her bag of art supplies and follows her out to the car.

She smiles as she settles into the seat and he carefully closes the door.  Her eyes follow him until he climbs into the driver’s side.

“What?”  He glances at her sideways as he turns the ignition and pulls out of the parking lot.

“Nothing.”  She ducks her head and smiles softly.

At the first stoplight she twists in her seat and runs a hand through his hair.   She lingers over it, running a fingertip gently over the line of his ear.

He shivers and takes a deep breath as he glances at her - a smile tugging the corner of his lips.

“Can I help you?”  He chuckles at her.

She shrugs and says.  “Maybe later.”

He looks at her pointedly.

She giggles back at him.  

xoxoxoxoxoxo

She walks up behind him in the kitchen, her arms curling around his waist as he stands there chopping vegetables for the salad.  She sneaks a slice of red pepper and pops it into her mouth. 

Sighing she presses her cheek into his back.  His stomach muscles tighten under her fingers.  She’s fresh from the shower and the scent of her shampoo envelopes him. 

“There’s wine.”  He whispers as he scrapes the last of the vegetables into the salad bowl.

“Mmmm.”  Pam yawns and stretches a bit as she walks over to pour them both a glass.  She grabs the salad and sits down at the table smiling widely when Jim sits down across from her.

He looks worried.  She thinks as she takes the piece of bread he offers.  She inhales deeply, the spicy scent of tomato sauce making her stomach growl.

“Everything OK?”  She asks as she twirls pasta around her fork.

It serves him right.  He’d been way too cocky about this whole thing.  Right now he’s beyond distracted.  He’s been second guessing everything all of the sudden.  Not second guessing actually asking her.  Never that.  It’s just that the way he was planning to go about it suddenly seems beyond lame.

She deserves more.  He should have gotten champagne, not wine.  He should have taken her out to dinner.  He should have surprised her with a trip to Paris.  He should have…

He realizes that she’s staring at him.  “Hmmm?  I’m sorry. What?”

“You look like you’ve got something on your mind.”  She’s now even more concerned.

He thinks about protesting but then decides against it.   “Yeah.  I do – kind of.” 

“What is it?”  She stops eating.

He waves her off.   “It’s nothing.  I’ll tell you later.”  He replies.   “Eat.  I know you’re starving.”

“No.”  She shakes her head at him.  “Tell me now.”

“Pam.”

“Jim.”  She gives him an exasperated look.

He pushes back his chair and stands.  He starts pacing.

“This is wrong.  I should have taken you to Paris.”  He begins.

She looks at him as if he’s crazy.  “For dinner?”

“No.”  He sighs.  “Damnit.” He mutters.  “I’m screwing this up.”

“It’s not screwed up.  The sauce is delicious.”  She stands up and grabs his arm, making him face her.  “C’mon.  Sit with me.”

“No.  You sit.  I need to stand.”  He shakes his head at her.

“Jim?”

He looks at her and rubs a hand over his chest.  He’s afraid his heart just might burst from it at any moment.   His breath begins to hitch. 

“…or maybe I should kneel.  Kneeling would be better right?”

She looks at him, completely confused.  “Well.  I don’t know.  It’s kind of hard to eat when you’re kneeling.” 

“Not for eating.  For asking.”

“Asking what!?”  She can’t figure out for the life of her what is wrong with him.

He drops on one knee and grabs her hand.  It shocks her so much she jumps in her seat. 

“My mother loves you.”  He begins.  As soon as the words are out of his mouth he knows it’s wrong.

“Ohhhkay.”  He’s lost his mind.   She’s now sure of it.  “I…I um…love your mom.”

“No.  That’s not…Shit.” Jim grumbles as he drops her hand and stands again.  He rubs a hand over his face in frustration.  He gazes down at her and realizes all at once he’s freaking her out.

“You know what?  Just forget it.  I’m going to do this better next time.   I promise.”  He says with a sigh as he sits down across from her again and picks up his fork.

“Oh you do not get off that easy.”  Pam looks at him, her eyes holding a warning.  “What the hell is going on?”

He wishes she’d just let it go but he knows it’s unlikely.  “Forget it.”

She cannot believe him.  He’s driving her nuts. 

“Oh don’t even…”

“Pam.  Drop it.  Really.  I – just.  I don’t want to tell you now.”

She stands and stares down at him her eyes filled with hurt.  “Why not?”

He sighs and throws down his napkin, completely defeated.  “I’ve done such a horrible job you’d probably say no at this point anyway.”

“Say no to what!?!”   Her voice rises sharply.  She’s now beyond exasperated.

“Marrying me!”  He yells back at her.

“Oh.”  She gasps and falls back into her chair.

Nice work, Halpert.  He’s suddenly sick to his stomach.  “Pam.”

“Oh…my…God.”  She blinks back tears.

“This didn’t go at all like I’d planned it.” He begins desperately.  “I wanted to do something different.  I promise next time I’ll do it right…”

“No.”  She shakes her head at him.

Even though at this point he’d expected that response, it still stabs him straight in the heart.

“Yeah.”   He sighs heavily and hangs his head.  “It’s OK.  I don’t blame you.”

She stares up at him and shakes her head harder.  “No.”  She reaches for his hands.  “I think you deserve a second chance.  After all.  You gave me one.”  She  takes a steadying breath.  “Just …take a deep breath and ask me again.”

He looks at her in astonishment

“C’mon.  I know you can do it.”  She smiles through her tears.  She can see he’s still hesitating.  “What are you – chicken?”

“I’m not chicken.”  He ducks his head as he laughs and then meets her gaze again.  “OK.  Really.  This is not how I wanted this to go.”

“It’s OK.  I like seeing you flustered.  You’re usually so suave.”  She giggles and wipes at her eyes.

He catches her hand in his and crouches down near her chair.  “OK.  You did not just call me suave.”

“Did so.”  She replies laughing back at him.  “Go on.  Suck it up.  Try again.”

He takes a deep breath and presses a kiss to her palm.  “Pam.”

“Yes Jim?”  She smiles widely, tears still threatening to fall as her eyes catch his and hold.

He shakes his head in disbelief.  “You’re amazing.”

“Possibly true.”  She concedes.

 “You’re much cooler than me.”

“Definitely true.”  She giggles.

“…and I love you more than anything in this world.”

“Anything?”  She looks skeptical.  “You sure? More than Dwight?  Or…Kevin??? Or John Madden football?”

“Absolutely.  No contest.  And so.”  He smiles at her in a way that makes her toes tingle.  “Because of all that…”

“And the fact that your mom happens to love me…”  She offers.

“Of course.”  He nods in acknowledgement.  “I was just wondering…”

“Uh huh…”  Her head is spinning.

He can see he’s got her now and decides to take his time.  “If you’d – you know…”

She smacks him on the arm.  “C’mon.  Spit it out.”

“Spit it out?”  He sighs.  “What is wrong with you?  Jesus.  We’re having a moment here Beesly.”

“JIM.”  She sucks in a breath as he leans close. “Just ask me already.”

His moves in and brushes her lips with his as he finally says.  “Marry me.”

In the end it’s more of a command than a question and she’s laughing even as her mouth meets his. 

“Hey.  I haven’t heard a yes yet.”  He whispers in her ear.

“Hey.  I haven’t seen a ring yet.”  She shoots back at him.

His laugh begins as a low rumble, bubbling up in his throat and she’s so close to him she can actually feel it rise within him.

“You have a point.”  He pulls back and digs in his pocket. 

Pam gasps as he opens the box.  “Oh Jim.”  She covers her mouth with her hand.

“Do you like it?”  He asks hopeful.  “It - um.  It was my grandmother’s.”

“Oh my God.  It’s beautiful.”  She gives him a watery laugh. 

“Well that’s fitting.”  He whispers as her hands move to frame his face.  “So are you.”

A few long glorious moments later, when she pulls back slightly to stare into his eyes he smiles back at her.

“So.”  He urges.

“What?” She’s confused.

“What’ll it be?  Yes or no?”

She shoves him, a bit too roughly.  "Jim."

“Hey.  Easy.  Watch it.”  He laughs as he pulls her closer.

“It’s yes.”  She says dreamily as she slides down to meet him on the floor, dinner completely forgotten now.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Sheets tangled near his waist, he leans on his elbow and spears a forkful of pasta.  Her mouth closes over it and Pam hums contentedly, eyes closed tightly.

“It’s not that bad cold.”  She says as she opens them slowly.  If the look she sees in Jim’s eyes is any indication it’s just going to get colder.

“Well.  I am an excellent chef.”

“I know.  That’s why I’m marrying you.”  She replies.

“Is that the only reason?”  He asks as he places the dish on the nightstand.

“No.  You’re…”  She gasps as his fingers trace over her skin.  “…handy in other ways.”

“You don’t say?”  He nuzzles her neck.

“We’re getting married.”  She sighs, threading her fingers through his hair.   Candlelight flickers, catching the stone in her ring and casting shadows across the ceiling.

“Seems so.”  He replies.

“Soon right?”  She asks and he’s struck by how worried she sounds.

Desperate to rid her fears he holds her tighter.  “Sure.  How’s tomorrow?   Are you free?”  He asks as his mouth moves towards hers.

She shifts beneath him and stares deeply into his eyes.  Her voice is a husky whisper when she laughs and answers.  “I think I can fit you in.”