She walked through his living room turning off the lights and the cable box, and picked up his coat to hang in the closet by the door.

He was the worst about throwing things anywhere they would land as he came inside. His shoes, his bag, his coat—he’d once dropped a bag of groceries in the entry way, fully intending to put them away after he peed, but instead let them sit there until the next morning and had to throw out everything but the loaf of bread in the dumpster on his way to work. He was lucky to have her here.

She shook his coat out, pulled his wallet and keys out of the pocket and hung it next to hers, putting his things on the shelf above—eye-level for him, but tip-toe level for her. She noticed a black leather strap hanging down slightly, and pulled at it finding a camera bag. She’s not sure what she was thinking when she grabbed the handles and brought it down—maybe she was.

Making her way back to his bedroom, she put the bag on his bed and took her dress off, slipping on her white cotton nightgown that fell just at her thighs. She crawled to the middle of his navy comforter, pulling the bag toward her and opening it to find what she’d imagined—a video camera. She tinkered around with the buttons, pulling the viewfinder open from the side, and pressing the power button. It was on play mode and a paused image of some sort of outdoor activity appeared on-screen.

After a bit more exploring she pushed the play button and a wash of noise came out of it as she watched the video. It was his niece, in Jim’s parents’ backyard, and his sister-in-law was trying to talk over all of the volume around her. Pam laughed quietly, looking up when she heard the water turn off.

He always insisted on showering after he ate fast food. He said he smelled deep-fried and the smell wouldn’t leave his hair until he washed it. Just one of many quirks she’d discovered since they’d been together.

She paused the video and kept her eyes on the hall when she heard the bathroom door open. She immediately smelled his soap—some kind of “rain-scented” body wash that was on sale at Rite Aid. That, coupled with his generic shampoo-plus-conditioner, could somehow undo her when it was coming from his skin, his hair.

He walked in running his fingers through his hair to push it off his forehead and grabbing a t-shirt off his dresser.

“Forgot this,” he quipped, shaking it a bit before pulling it over his head. He squinted a bit at her, before his eyebrows popped up, “Where did you find that?”

“The closet.”

“Hm. What’s on there?” He huffed, falling on to his elbows-and-stomach on the bed and propping his chin on his open palm.

“Annie’s birthday.”

He smiled, reaching up to pull the screen into view.

“And that’s probably the last time that thing was used,” he laughed.

“Why do you have the video of her party? Doesn’t your brother want it? Or Sarah?”

“Oh they have it. I put it on my computer and burned it.”

Her lips fell into a line and she had to admit, she was impressed. He wasn’t very good at new technology as a whole.

“Were you planning on shooting your own documentary?” He directed his attention back to her.

“Got any blank tapes?”

“There should be one…” He leaned over to grab the bag and pulled a plastic sleeve out with a case in the bottom, “A-ha!”

She took it from him and exchanged the new cassette for the used one, flipping a switch on the camera so that she saw his face on the screen. His eyes opened wide, knowing she was looking at him.

She pushed another button and leaned back slightly.

“So…Jim.”

“So, Pam.”

“When are you going to get a vasectomy?” She used the same tone as the crew at work, and at first he was visibly thrown, but then he snorted lightly, smiling.

“Not. I am not going to get one.”

“No? Snip, snap, snip, snap.” She scissored her fingers at him for effect.

“Oh, gross.”

She laughed and the camera shook slightly as he pushed himself up to sit cross-legged in front of her, reaching out to stroke the soft skin of her ankle.

“Um…so, how was the dinner party?” She was back to interview-mode.

“It was a blast,” he was being sort of monotonous and bashful, not like she heard when he was in the conference room for his talking heads. She took a beat, a breath, and made a decision.

“Take your shirt off.”

His eyebrows rose high on his forehead, and a smirk pulled at his lips, “Excuse me?”

She could feel her heart rate increase, and a tingling warmth started at her collarbone, spreading to her cheeks, but her voice didn’t waver. “You heard me.”

He pursed his mouth and cleared his throat, fingering the bottom of his t-shirt, hesitating for a moment. His eyes were on hers, not the camera, and the corner of her mouth rose into a half smile. He pulled it up and over his head, slinging it to his side and resting his elbows on his lap.

She licked her lips without noticing. He noticed.

“Good show?” His tone was getting more deliberate.

“Mmm,” she nodded, reached out and ran her thumb over his collarbone. He grabbed her wrist, twisting her arm slightly—not enough to hurt.

“What are you doing?” His face was bright, and she moved the camera’s focus from his torso back to his eyes, his nose, zooming a bit. She just shook her head, looking at the screen.

They were at a good place in their relationship. A good place in their sexual relationship. She didn’t feel the need to always have her underwear match; they could sleepily roll into each other in the morning and make love slowly, without even thinking about impressing each other. Without that heightened x-factor that had been there to begin with—that it had to be good. After this long they owed it to each other to be amazing.

“Hey,” he waved his hand in front of her eyes and she was brought back. He smiled.

“Hey.”

She turned the camera around so that the lens was pointed at her, and she flipped the viewfinder to see herself on screen.

“So full of yourself,” he was playing with her, but there was something else weighted under his words. Something curious.

She moved onto her knees and reached over him to put the camera down on his side table, scooting it slightly so that they were both in-frame. When she leaned back, she stayed a couple of inches from his face, looking at him imploringly.

“What—” she cut him off by leaning in and bumping her lips against his, almost awkwardly. His nose pressed against her cheek and he reached a hand up to cup her face, correcting it, and opened his mouth against hers. When her tongue pressed against his, he moved away from her slightly. He was squinting at her, trying to read her. He couldn’t for the life of him imagine a delicate way to ask her if she was seriously considering filming them. This…

Her eyes flicked over his shoulder and she ran her hand over the back of his neck and into his damp hair. That was enough of an answer for him.

He pulled her into his lap and she made a soft squeaking sound—the one she made when he would do something that took her off guard. He pushed them back so that he was leaning against the headboard, a pillow scrunched behind his back, and she surreptitiously glanced over at the nightstand again.

“Good view?”

She pressed her lips together and laughed quietly, putting her hand over her eyes, “Are we really doing this?”

“You say ‘we’ like I had any say in this at all.” He smiled back, leaning in to press light kisses over her jaw.

“Well, you do, you know,” she pushed him back to look at her and he nodded, “So? Are we doing this?”

He just stared at her. Completely amazed. She wasn’t the same timid girl he’d first fallen in love with. She was strong, and determined, and comfortable in her skin, and fucking beautiful. He was getting to fall in love with her all over again—with this new side of her. She took his breath away sometimes.

“I love you.” It came from deep in his gut, and he leaned forward to kiss the hollow of her throat.

She was taken aback. She didn’t expect that.

“Love you too,” she mumbled into his hair, kissing the top of his head.

When he pulled away he had a mischievous look in his eyes, and her hands trailed over his neck and down his chest. It was sometimes hard for her not to smile like an idiot when she was with him. She didn’t know that just being with another person could make her this insanely happy, this—joyful. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug, squeezing him tight and humming against his temple.

His hands trailed under her nightgown and he scratched her back with his short fingernails. Her body went slack and she pressed her forehead against his shoulder.

“Mmmthatfeelsgood,” she sighed.

“Hey,” he pressed his fingers into her sides and she jumped slightly. When she was face to face with him again he leaned forward to capture her mouth with his. She situated herself higher on his lap so that her bottom was pressed snuggly against him.

“Mmmthatfeelsgood,” he parroted her previous statement, feeling her smile against his lips. They were talking quietly, like the camera was a separate person in the room and they were trying to keep secrets.

He sneaked his hands between them and started to slowly undo the buttons at the top of her nightgown. He bent down to press kisses against the tops of her breasts, sucking lightly just where her bra strap began. She hummed a quiet moan and he sucked harder, her hands running through his hair and pulling lightly.

“Jim…”

He pulled back and looked up at her, meeting a questioning gaze, then following her eyes down to the reddening skin at her breast.

“Nobody’s going to see it but me.” He smiled softly, and the double meaning wasn’t lost on either of them. He bent down to press a smacking kiss over the near-bruise appearing on her skin.

“Close your eyes.”

She massaged her fingers through his hair and he very nearly purred, doing as she asked. She kissed his chin, his shoulder, and then leaned over to grab the camera, moving it to a close-up view of their faces as she leaned in to kiss him.

“Mmh…” he grunted as she rotated her hips in his lap. She pulled back and paused the video, setting the camera on the bed and moving away from him.

“Keep your eyes closed,” she whispered, pulling his legs out straight in front of him and running her hands over his thighs, up under his boxers. He let his head fall back against the headboard and she leaned down to kiss his stomach, his hip. She ran a hand lightly over his growing erection, and then hooked her thumbs in the waistband, pulling them down and off with some help from him.

She took the camera and un-paused, panning over his long, lean body. She felt a shiver go through her, and just—she felt so bold. So shameless. She held the camera out toward his head and took him in her fist.

“Take this,” she said, and when he opened his eyes he saw the shaky image of her lips closing around him, through the viewfinder.

“Pam, fuck,” he took the camera from her, his eyes glazing slightly.

Jim was no stranger to porn. He’d seen some dvds, some magazines, and seen a very fair share of streaming amateur stuff online. He knew what he was into and what he wasn’t, and one of the things he wasn’t into was this. Through the lens, she looked more like an object than a person. Her lips came down over him, her cheeks hollowing slightly with the suction and just—it was so graphic and so private.

“Hey…” he brought his hand down to tangle in her messy ponytail and she looked up at him, “I don’t…”

“What?” She pushed herself up to stand on her knees in front of him and he paused the camera, putting it down on the table.

“C’mere.”

She moved to lay close beside him and he pulled her into his arms, kissing the side of her mouth and her cheek. He didn’t want to make her feel rejected, but he didn’t really want this intimacy on record. It was theirs. Over the past few years there were just bits and pieces of their relationship that they got to keep to themselves, away from the prying eyes of cameras and sound equipment. This was one of them.

“Maybe I don’t want to share you with any AV equipment.”

She smiled, “No?”

He shook his head, his hand roaming under her nightgown to tickle her stomach. He rolled on top of her and pulled the soft white cotton up over her breasts, allowing her to remove it completely. She wore a soft pink satin and lace bra, almost cream colored. It was his favorite. And he pressed his lips and nose against its softness, against the softness underneath.

She sighed and relaxed against her pillow as his hands cupped her breasts. He pressed kisses to each one, scraping his teeth softly against the side.

“I love your tits,” he mumbled.

“Jim!” She grabbed his shoulders and his head fell against her, his body shaking slightly with laughter.

“I do! And…that sounded slightly less crass in my head.”

“I love that we were going to make a sex tape and I can’t even handle you saying…that,” she nudged him and he looked up at her again, crawling up to meet her face-to-face.

“Saying what?”

“What you just said!” She was blushing now and he was loving it.

“What did I say?” He asked like he really couldn’t recall, but she remained silent. He raised his eyebrows at her—baiting her, challenging her.

“That…you love my tits.” She said, with a little snap of her neck, and a fire in her eyes. He smiled.

“I do.”

“I know you do,” she rolled on top of him and licked his neck, biting gently, and then closing her lips to suck the skin between her teeth.

“Mm…revenge, huh? Because other people will be able to see that.”

She pulled away, and looked at his mock-disapproving glare.

“Play fair, Pam.”

She nodded, smiling with so much mischief, and he pulled her closer to him, kissing her good and hard. His hands trailed down over her back and he slid his hands under the waistband of her panties to knead his thumbs against her ass. She pushed herself up and broke the kiss, pressing down on his erection and bringing her knees up on either side of him until she was straddling him.

“You need to take these off…” He pulled at the waistband of her silky underwear and she made a face, rolling off him and shimmying out of them.

“Done.” She swung her leg back over his waist and sat carefully against him, fully intending to torture him but instead eliciting a shudder from herself when her clit came in contact with the hardness against his stomach.

Her mouth dropped open and her breath came out in a sort of Ah-sound; one that went straight to Jim’s core, and more importantly, his cock.

“I totally agree with you.” He smoothed his hands over her face and back to her ponytail, pulling the elastic out as she shook her head to the side so that it fell away from her face. He let his fingers play over the ends of the loose curls, and then trail down the center of her chest causing her nipples to harden at his touch. He spread his thumbs over the tops of her breasts then took the front clasp of her bra between his fingers and popped it open. As he pulled the straps down her shoulders she aided him by shrugging off the last remaining piece of clothing between them. She put her hands on his chest and leaned forward, knowing he was enjoying the view and loving the way his tongue peeked between his teeth as he all but ogled her. She couldn’t help but feel sexy around him. His previous statement was true, after all. No matter how crude.

He leaned up, supported by his bent elbow and she met him halfway, her lips crushing against his. Her arms wrapped around his neck, but all too soon he broke from her, kissing a hot trail from her chin to the center of her chest. His hand spread across her back, covering a fair expanse of skin as he urged her toward his mouth. A low moan sounded in his throat as his swirling tongue and lips closed over her left nipple, and she watched him. He kissed and licked his way from side to side, driving her mad, and she gripped his shoulders.

She rubbed herself back and forth over him, as they shared all sorts of noises that were barely audible but exactly what they needed to hear. She rubbed her hand over his forehead, brushing his hair back and causing him to look up at her when she leaned forward to find a better position. He reached down to hold himself steady, pressing barely inside her, and she lowered herself slowly—inch by inch—until she was sitting. So full with him.

Her mouth formed a soft Oh and her brow knitted together as she leaned back. She was just—so open, and he was hitting her so deeply. She began a steady rhythm, her hands braced on his chest as she rose and fell over him. Slowly, and then less-slowly.

“Jim…” Her hand moved to his shoulder and she pulled him so that he was propped on an elbow and close enough to kiss her chin, lips, neck. One of her arms was loose around his shoulders and the other was braced against the headboard as she leaned forward to take him in at a different angle. And now she wasn’t being slow at all.

“Oh my God…” his forehead dropped to her shoulder.

“Jim, oh—ah!” And that was a different kind of moan. He slipped out of her and she sat back on his legs, her own straightening out in front of her as she pressed her fingers against the back of her thigh. “Fucking…”

He couldn’t help but smile. “Cramp?”

“Shut up. Ow, god.”

Now he was laughing.

“It’s not funny. It’s so not funny.” She began to relax and his fingers took over where hers had been, smoothing over the skin. Her head dropped forward and her breath came out heavy. She just looked defeated. But also naked. And the light sheen of sweat on her neck and collarbone made it impossible for him to give her any more recovery time.

He rolled them over so that he was situated above her and she glared up at the smirk still planted on his face.

“You know, I took a sports medicine class in high school…” he pressed a kiss to her jaw, near her ear.

“You were a water boy.” Her voice was much softer than her statement, so he chose to ignore it.

“…And when you have a muscle cramp you’re supposed to stretch.”

He gripped her thigh and hitched her leg up over his hip to rest against his ribs. Her face softened a bit and she sunk down against her pillow, raising her other leg to follow suit. He rubbed his thumb over the crook of her knee and pulled it a bit further to rest on his shoulder, sitting back on his feet as she stuck her other leg straight up for him to do the same with it.

“Better?”

She nodded, reaching for him as he knelt down to kiss her. She moved so that her legs were more comfortable over his shoulders and he brushed against her, bringing her back to the moment they’d temporarily lost.

“Jim…” her hand fell to his thigh, and she squeezed, urging him further.

“I gotcha.” He moved to a better position, barely pressing inside, “You good?”

“Yes,” she sighed, holding his wrists on either side of her head.

An inch or so further, “Sure?”

“Yes, Jim.”

Her legs were stretching and he was almost completely inside her. It was an amazing feeling. Amazing even if she’d be ridiculously sore in the morning. He pulled out and then back in, quickly, nearly taking her breath away. Her eyes closed and she braced herself as he rocked into her again, again. She couldn’t stop the sounds coming out of her; he was just hitting that spot. That spot. Faster. Over and over.

“Oh, God.” She was breathless. He had her practically pinned and she just needed. Needed to move, to touch him, she needed—“Faster.” It was an exhale.

He leaned back and wrapped his hands around each of her thighs, obliging her. And it was just building. Her toes curled as she tried to anchor herself to something. He felt her tense and started a sharp in-and-out rhythm. Her hands gripped at his legs and her hips angled down.

“Jim…” Her voice had that high-pitched, strangled quality. He loved it. He loved making her feel like this. “Jim—”

He thrust hard inside her, falling forward to capture her lips with his, and she was shaking. He groaned when he felt her shudder. Clenching and pulling and squirming.

He felt dizzy, his mouth falling slack, away from hers, and the sounds he was making were so guttural. Before her orgasm had even subsided, she was shifting her legs down off his shoulders, and wrapping them around his waist—pulling him closer, digging her fingernails into the skin of his back.

“Mm, you’re gonna wear me out tonight,” she chided in his ear. And he knew she was teasing him but it was that low, sated quality in her voice. It just fucking turned him on. If he could be any more on at the moment.

She leaned back, brushing her hand over his sweaty forehead and down his cheek. Her other hand dipped between them to trail over his stomach, causing his hips to jump back slightly, and she took him in her hand, squeezing lightly, dipping just the tip inside her as she gave him a series of quick, short strokes.

“Fuck…” his head dropped to her shoulder, grunting in time with her hand on him. She hummed against his temple, whispering terribly sexy things to him,

“Okay.” He swatted her hand out of the way, “More.”

He buried himself inside her, the muscles in his legs burning but he didn’t care.

“Ah…” He came in a series of muffled grunts, thrusting hard inside her and she knew she would still feel him all day tomorrow. A beat after his hips slowed he was on his back beside her, his arms out to his side, chest heaving.

“Wooow.” She laughed, turning in to his side and propping her chin on his chest.

“Mmhm.” His eyes, which had been closed, opened and he shook his head.

“That was great, babe.”

“Ok. Let’s not with the ‘babe,’ while we’re in bed. It makes my mind go to things I’d rather keep out of this space.” He moved his hand around in a circular motion as he said it, and turned his head to see what quippy remark she’d come back with but she was eyeing something behind him. “What?” He craned his neck to follow her line of vision and nearly choked.

“If I’d known you didn’t know how to stop your own camera I so would not have gotten that cramp in my leg.”

He rolled away from her to grab the camera, and sure enough in bold white the letters R-E-C were glowing in the upper left corner of the viewfinder. His eyes were as wide as saucers when he looked back at her—completely naked and sitting up on his knees. If she should have felt wronged or taken advantage of in some way, she didn’t realize.

“Um. I definitely get to watch this before your viewing pleasure.” She tried to swipe the camera from him, but he held it away from her.

“No way, it’s my camera.”

Her eyebrows rose and she rolled away from him, covering herself with the mussed sheet.

“Don’t make me play the girlfriend card again. It’s so tired.”

“What? I can buy a new camera but I can’t buy a new party?” He put the camera back down on the nightstand and settled behind her, pulling her back against him and wrapping one of his legs around her, “We’ll see.”