His hands gripped the steering wheel so tight, his knuckles were white and he felt a numbing pain in  his palms. He glanced over at her a few times, her head against the window, her eyes staring blankly at the buildings as they drove by. The ride home was quiet, the tension so thick you could cut with a chain saw.

Speaking of chainsaws, Jim wished he had one to wield in Andy's direction.

Because seriously, what the fuck was that?

Never in a million, nay, billion years would he have guessed Andy would take that moment to propose marriage to a woman who clearly wasn't that into him. The way Angela's lips pursed and she had to spit out an answer. God...such awesomeness wasted on that.

Watching it unfold, Jim had to remember the box he was gripping tightly at that moment, the ultimate question dying on his lips. Pam's eyes flashed over to him, and he knew he couldn't mask the detriment on his face, because hers dropped too.

And as Andy accosted him on his way out, Jim gave a half hearted congratulations, because he didn't feel celebratory right now. Too many emotions were flowing through him at that moment, anger, disappointment, frustration, nausea. His heart ached because it was like the Booze Cruise all over again, perfect moment, perfect buildup...and nothing comes out.

So he was driving home now, his nervousness transferred to self pity as he turned down the street heading towards his apartment. They were doing this thing where one of them would glance over and look away at the moment the other looks at them. This is what devastation feels like? Oh I remember this feeling before, Jim thought. How many times has that fucking parking lot doomed my ass?

"Hey...um...would you mind dropping me off at my place tonight?" She said meekly, and he turned to look at her face.

It was etched with the disappointment, and his soul burned knowing that what happened tonight did this to her. She was expecting it, he thought. She was anticipating it and you couldn't deliver. You kept promising her something, teasing her and in the end, when nothing else should have mattered, you didn't deliver. Sounds familiar, sounds like...Roy.

The cameras had followed him out to the parking lot, Pam way ahead of him for some reason, her head down, her shoulders drooping. He waited until she was out of ear shot, walking slowly behind. Steve the camera guy wouldn't let up so Jim stopped walking as Pam walked over to the car, her back to them as he said to the camera, "Tonight didn't turn out quite how I or anyone really, expected. Andy and Angela...wow. I guess. I need to...I have to regroup I think, and...do this for real. But not tonight, not like this."

Now he was headed towards her apartment complex, and for every mile he got closer, he felt like he was dying inside a bit more.  They pulled up in front of her place and she sat up, rifling through her purse for her keys. When she turned to him, she plastered a weak smile on her lips.

"You want me to stay the night with you?" he asked, begging her not to feel so rejected.

"No, I'm just...I'm not feeling well. Might be coming down...with something," she lied. He could tell. He knew her quirks. She was fidgeting with her keys.

"Okay," he nodded."Want me to walk you up?"

"No thanks," Pam leaned over and kissed Jim softly before climbing out of the car. This was not good. He watched her walk up her steps and into her apartment. But his car didn't move. Jim just sat there, hands still gripping the steering wheel, thinking.

He never wanted to be the one to disappoint her. Fact is, the whole point of marrying her was to make her dreams come true. He had worked so hard to finally do this, he has saved, he had actually tried to achieve professionism at work, all for the sake of securing a future with her. And now, he's letting Andy Bernard steal his thunder? He already stole Jim's fireworks and his proposal, he'd be damned if Andy stole his future from him too.

Jim pulled the car into an empty visitor's space, and jogged up to her apartment. He held his breath as he knocked on her door. He had a key, but, he didn't need to use it.

Pam opened the door, her eyes wide with confusion. Before she could speak, his mouth descended on hers, because he needed her to know. He needed her to feel how much he loved her, how so honored he would be to have her hand in marriage, to love her forever if that was possible. That tonight, no matter how fucked up, was supposed to mean so much more.

She moaned into his mouth and his hands were on either side of her face as he continued to kiss her senseless. Pam snaked her hands into his hair as he pushed her against the wall, maybe a bit too roughly, and shut the door with his foot. For a few moments, it was just them going at each other. She didn't seem to be sick after all, and if she was, he didn't want to leave regardless. They stumbled backwards down the tiny hall to her bedroom, neither stopping long enough to take a breath and speak.

This is what they were good at. He found that out early on. Sometimes they had trouble communicating with words, but if he knew anything, he knew he could show her. She was clawing at his shirt, and finally he pulled back, eyeing her swollen lips and her heavy lids. Their faces were so close, he could feel her breath. Minty, vanilla. Her. Their breathing was heavy and waiting, and Jim stared down at her, his hands still on her face.

"I love you, so much," he said in a low voice, his eyes serious, roaming her face.

She simply nodded, breath ragged. "I love you too."

He leaned back in and kissed her again, his tongue gaining access and massaging hers. Then he pulled back again suddenly, planting a kiss on her closed eyes and then her forehead before looking at her seriously.

"You're everything I ever wanted."

She smiled and went to kiss him again, but he wouldn't let her. He held her away, and she looked surprised by it, her eyes widening.

Then Jim leaned in, so close his lips brushing against her earlobes, both hands still holding her face gently as he whispered, "There is nothing and no one else that could make me feel the way you make me feel. I don't know how you do it, but you amaze me every day."

She sucked in a breath as he moved back, facing her before going to her other ear. "I've never loved anyone the way I love you, and I know I never will."

He felt her shallow breathing; he knew she was confused, seeing as how they were about to make love a few moments ago. But he had to do this.

Jim kept his lips by her ear. "And today when you said you were awesome, you truly have no-"

He stopped, pulled up to kiss the top of her head, and gently kissing it as her eyes closed. "-Idea how awesome-"

He stopped again as he placed a kiss on her forehead. She looked as if she really wanted to speak, but he couldn't let her. "You're imperfectly perfect to me. I look at you and think how'd I get so lucky."

He kissed down the bridge of her nose, the feeling overly sensual as she stifled a moan. "And then I wonder how I was ever able to go through life without you."

He kissed her lips again, softly at first, teasing kisses until she gave in and kissed him deeper. Her arms fell from around his neck and to his chest, her hand clutching at the shirt, trying to get him to take it off. But he didn't. Instead he pulled back, slowing dropping to his knee, his eyes never leaving hers.

She looked down at him, her hand covering her thoroughly kissed lips.

He pulled the box out, looking down at it. "There aren't any fireworks. Or frills. Or fanciness. And for that I'm sorry. I had all that planned. But tonight, while it didn't seem like our night, it still can be. I need to do this, because I can't stand planning one more day without you. It obviously goes terribly wrong when I do. That means something. Pamela Morgan Beesly...will you do me the honor of marrying me?"

She looked awestruck as he opened the box and looked at her for a response.

"Yes," was all she could whisper out under impending tears. She touched her lips with her fingers as he slipped it on her other hand, her bare ring finger, and then she reached out and touched his lips. He kissed them and turned her hand to see the ring.

"Told you. Perfect."

She launched herself at him then, and it was no reason to not finish what he started as his shirt came off, and her blouse. Her hands roaming everywhere and his doing the same. He felt her, all of her, as she whispered how happy he made her tonight and he whispered back promises of the shortest engagement in engagment history. She laughed at that, but only for a minute, because he distracted her with something none verbal and just as important.

In the middle of the night, he woke up, sated, naked and against her sleeping form. He leaned in to kiss her and her eyes fluttered open. She smiled at him, accepting his kiss. Jim settled back and she laid her head on his chest smiling. Her hand was resting on his bare stomach and the moonlight hit the ring, causing it to glitter off the ceiling. They looked up at the reflection and Pam smiled.

"What?" he whispered, kissing the top of her hair, amused.

Pam bit her lip, smiling. She then looked up at him, her nose softly touching his, content as she breathed out, "This is so much better than fireworks."