--
“Hello?”
“I am never watching that stupid show again!”
“Hey Pam. Nice of you to call…”
“The stupid writers on that stupid show can just…I hope they all get Carpal Tunnel Syndrome as karma. I felt like I was watching some stupid, contrived…stupid sitcom! They can’t play with people’s emotions like that, Jim. They just can’t.”
“Wow.”
“Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, I’m telling you. And I just want to stab them with…pencils…and sharp things…"
“Okay, quick question.”
“Yes?”
“What are you talking about?”
“My SHOW Jim. My favorite show. The season finale was tonight, and I was soooo looking forward to it all week, and now we find out they don’t get married!”
“Um, what?”
“So now I’m going to have to deal with this stupid angst all stupid summer, and I just don’t know if I can handle it. I hate this contrived angst, Jim. I hate it. I hate it like Michael hates Toby.”
“Wait, slow down. Who didn’t get married?”
“Josh and Polly, two characters on the show. The ONLY two characters as far as I’m concerned. They’re just so cute, and real, and funny, and…”
“…fictitious…”
“They’re just…I don’t know, destined to be together. And now they’re NOT ENGAGED! And Polly is going off to Chicago for three months, and I’m really worried…”
“So they broke up?”
“Well…no. They just, you know, didn’t get engaged. I was promised an engagement, Jim.”
“I told you, that’s coming. And when it does…”
“No, silly. I was promised an engagement on the show!”
“Oh, right. So the writers of the show said that these two would be getting engaged?”
“Well…not exactly. But they were TOTALLY hinting at it all season!”
“Well, you told me one of the reasons you like that show so much is because it’s really unpredictable. It wouldn’t make sense if they did something everyone was expecting, would it?”
“You know what, Jim? You are not helping. You are not being a very supportive boyfriend right now. When your girlfriend says her favorite show screwed the pooch with the season finale, it is not your job to tell her that everything is fine. It is your job to agree with everything she says.”
“You know what? You’re right, I’m sorry.”
“Apology accepted.”
“I also hope the writers get Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.”
“Don’t be a smartass.”
“Sorry.”
“Anyway, maybe I am overreacting. I’m just such a big fan of JOLLY.”
“Wait, you’re jolly? I thought you were disappointed.”
“No, arrtard…”
“Arrtard. Ouch…”
“I’m not ‘jolly’. JOLLY means Josh and Polly. JOLLY. It’s a portmanteau, Halpert. It’s from the internet.”
“From the internet?”
“Yes. From a website I go to where we talk about Josh and Polly. And write stories about them.”
“You write stories about them?”
“Yes.”
“You write stories about two characters from a television show?”
“Yes I do. So what?”
“Okay, two things. First of all, no more making fun of me for being too emotionally invested in a football team. And secondly, how many of these stories have you actually written?”
“Ummm…like twenty…”
“Twenty! Beesly, you are a stalker!”
“Shut up! I am not!”
“Well, you know what? You’re going to have to let me read them now.”
“No way!”
“Yes way!”
“No. I’ll never tell you where the website is. So there.”
“Oh, denied.”
“Damn right.”
“If only there was some way to…search for websites. A ‘search engine’, if you will…”
“I hate you so much.”
“Let’s see…www.google.com…keywords ‘Josh and Polly fan fiction’…”
“You’re being unsupportive again.”
“Wow. ‘Your search has returned six billion results’...impressive.”
“Are you done yet?”
“Yes. But I can’t promise I won’t bring this up in the future.”
“If you do, I’ll tell everybody about that one night when you had a lot to drink and you couldn’t...”
“You know what? On second thought, maybe we should keep this to ourselves.”
“That’s a good idea.”
“I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
“Just two more months until you get back.”
“Yep. And just two more days until you visit me in New York!”
“That’s right. Have you made any big plans for us?”
“Absolutely. I thought we’d spend the whole weekend in bed.”
“That sounds good.”
“Oh no.”
“What?”
“It’s Kelly. She’s left me like nine messages. She’s in tears because of that stupid season finale.”
“Guess it’s not all bad, then”
“Be nice! I should call her back.”
“Alright.”
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow night.”
“Totally. And I can’t wait for this weekend.”
“Neither can I. And I bought something new.”
“Is that so?”
“Yep. You’ll have to wait to find out what it is, though.”
“Oh, a cliffhanger. I like it.”
“I thought you might.”
“And hey…don’t worry about your show. I’m sure everything will work out fine.”
“You’re right. I love you.”
“I love you too, Pam.”
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
--
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. For realsies.
Chapter End Notes:
As far as I know, this is the first piece of Jim and Pam fic to use the word "arrtard". I'm very proud of that.
RomanCandle is the author of 7 other stories.
This story is a favorite of 5 members. Members who liked Josh and Polly also liked 988 other stories.
This story is part of the series, Pam's Favorite TV Show. The next story in the series is J-Kol.
