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Story Notes:

Just my two cents on the whole almost proposal.

Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to xoxoxo and brokenloon for betaing this little ditty.  Once again, you've been the best.  A double scoop of Dairy Queen (can you scoop that?) to xoxoxo for helping me with the end.

Disclaimer:  I don't own these characters or The Office, and no profit is being made from this posting.  No copyright infringement intended.  Thank you. 

 

 

Fireworks and Ferris Wheels 

 

 

Pam felt foolish.  More than frustrated, or disappointed, she felt like an idiot for mooning the whole evening in front of the cameras.  For expecting the perfect moment to finally be hers, complete with Ferris wheel and fireworks.  She should have remembered that these kinds of things never actually turn out perfectly.  Inevitably, life tramples all over romance and leaves it looking deflated and worn on the pavement of the parking lot. 

She picked her purse up and looked around the office, directing as much negative energy as she could at Andy’s desk.  In fact, in a childish impulse, she wanted to do something to it, like break something on it or spill something across it or just toilet paper it.  Anything that said “Jerk, you stole my perfect moment.”

Smoothing back her hair and wiping the last tears from her cheeks, she grabbed her keys and walked to the door.  She punched the elevator button and it chimed its arrival in just a few seconds.  She kept telling herself that crying over the whole thing was silly, but she could feel the familiar sting returning.  The doors slid open to reveal Dwight, crumpled in the corner.  She forced a small compassionate smile in his direction as he stood up straight, trying unsuccessfully to hide his disappointment.  She had to admit she knew exactly how he felt.

“Pamela.”  He nodded curtly and slipped past her to the office door. 

 

She had to reach forward to keep the elevator from shutting her out but she turned and said over her shoulder, “Night, Dwight.”

Pushing the button for ground, she tapped the side of the elevator with her toe.  If her heart wasn’t already worse for the wear tonight, it would be breaking for Dwight.  She’d been there.  She knew first hand what it felt like to lose the person that you love more than anything.  She knew what it was like to sit at home alone, knowing that he was with someone else, that he wasn’t at home alone missing her.  She knew what it felt like to assume that all hope was lost. 

The soft chime of the elevator woke her from her memories and she pulled her purse higher on her shoulder.  She was still somewhat in a fog as she walked out into foyer, replaying the evening over and over in her head.  She knew what was coming next; she knew that he was going to ask. 

“Earth to Beesly?”  Jim was leaning against the wall across for her, his tie loose and jacket slightly rumpled. 

 

“Hey, sorry, I was…thinking.”  She smiled at him and he reached out for her hand. For the first time in an hour, she could feel warmth return to her body.    

“Strange night, huh?”  He croaked out, his voice seemingly tired.

“It was.”  She said, nodding her head, the scene streaking through her head yet again.

 

“I can’t believe Andy proposed.”

 

“I can’t believe Angela said yes.”  She looked absently at the dull lines on the pavement.

 

Jim chuckled, threading their fingers together, “She did look like she wanted to kill him though.”

“I know the feeling.”  Pam let the words slip and grimaced, too embarrassed to explain about how she knew he was going to propose and then how her heart broke when the moment passed her by.  They were just little girl dreams, these fantasies of proposals that left you breathless because of their magnitude and perfection.  But after all the years, she had to admit that part of her wanted a little perfection. 

 

Jim squinted in her direction, confusion furrowing his brow, “Meaning?”

“Oh nothing,”  she swallowed the bitterness, hardly wanting to admit to herself let alone Jim that she felt a twinge of jealousy that Angela and Andy got to have their moment, “let’s just go home.”

 

She managed a weak smile as she squeezed his hand tightly.

 

***

 

Sitting on the couch in her favorite pjs, snuggled under Jim’s arm, Pam finally started to relax.  She’d had the urge to cry all night, her chest tight and throat scratchy with tears unshed.  She hated this feeling.  But in his arms, the soft glare of the tv the only light in their living room, she started to feel it all lift again. 

“How do you think AMC decides what a new classic is?”  Jim muttered, his chin brushing the top of Pam’s head. 

She pulled him tightly against her, running her hand over his chest, his undershirt soft against her fingers.  “Probably whoever they have rights to show.”

“Right?  I mean it’s pretty bizarre what’s making the cut these days.”

“Well, clearly, because I don’t care what you say Red Dawn is not a classic.” 

Jim shifted a bit to be able to look her in the eyes, his face in mock disgust, “Pam.  Patrick Swayze with a gun. Come on, it is clearly a classic.”

“Dirty Dancing is a classic.”

“Baby is also in Red Dawn, with Patrick Swayze, it’s practically the same movie.”

“Yeah, the similarities are striking.”

She swatted at him playfully and he pulled her into a kiss.  As she pulled away from him, a smirk started to pull at his lips.  She nestled back into the crook of his arm, her head on his chest, his hand gently stroking her hair back from her face.

Perfection.

Not fireworks and twinkle lights or candles and wine, just this.  Just them.  Watching a bad movie on television in the apartment they practically share, snuggled together in their pajamas with no where to be.  This was what she never had with Roy, the happiness of just being together.  She reached for his hand and threaded their fingers together as complete peace settled over her.

Jim took a deep breath, “Pam?”

 

“Yep?”

“I cannot get that whole thing with Andy out of my head.  It’s like a nightmare.”

She nodded, “Yeah, kinda was.  I can’t believe Angela is going to marry him.”

 

“Hmmm…maybe she won’t.”

 

“Angela?  I bet she’s never broken a promise in her life.”

“Still…”  Jim wrapped a curl between his fingers. 

 

“I hope she doesn’t marry him.”  Pam whispered almost to herself.

 

“Yeah.”  Pam could feel his eyes on her, but she continued to look at the screen. 

Jim cleared his throat, “So about tonight…”

She tensed under the weight of the words.  She wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to talk about this yet, so she kept her eyes glued to the television.  “Hmmm?”

”It didn’t really go the way I planned.”

“What the party?”

“Um…no…not the party.”  His breaths were shallower and she could feel his heart race beneath her.

 

She moved her body flat against his side and looked up at him, “I know.”  She desperately wanted to look away, the moment weighing heavy again, but she focused on him trying to reassure him.

He arched an eyebrow and gave her a challenging look, “Oh do you now?”

Pam blushed, “I mean… I just was hoping…”

He smiled at her, “Well, it was a kick ass party.” 

She licked her lips, biting back her smile, “It was.”  She snuggled against him, resting her head back on his chest. 

He kissed the top of her head.  “This is nice too, though.”

“It is.”  She played with the hem of his shirt and she felt this frenetic urge to get up and walk around the room.  She wanted to steady herself, afraid to hope too much that he might just ask.  But she wanted him to do just that…ask, right now.  She didn’t want to wait for any other moment, this one seemed just perfect.

He reached for his baseball cap, folded in on itself on the coffee table.  She wondered for a moment why he needed it, nonsensically thinking that perhaps he was going to run out to the store for something.  He fumbled a bit to pull the brim loose, reaching inside to where he had hidden the ring earlier. 

 

Time seemed to slow down for Pam as he placed the small velvet box in front of her, her mind no longer seeming to work correctly.  As many times as she’d hoped for this moment, dreamed of this moment, the realization that it was actually happening was overwhelming.  She simply looked back at him, the same look of anticipation on his face that she remembered from earlier.

“So, I was going to say something, …before…you know, Andy…”

“Oh yeah?” Pam struggled to keep her voice light, her gaze drawn to his eyes, then the box, and then back to his face.

“Yeah.” It was a breath, a sudden exhalation that reminded Pam of complete surrender.

“So, Andy’s not here now…”

“So true.”

Jim reached up to tuck her hair behind both ears, before gently holding her face in his hands, his thumbs tracing her cheekbones. “Hey, Pam?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you marry me?”

She paused for a second, taking in the look on his face, vulnerable and hopeful, loving but nervous. She could only smile, the tears returning to her eyes, but this time for a completely different reason. “Yes.” She leaned up to kiss him pulling him closer.

Perfection.

Chapter End Notes:
Thank you all so much and feel free to leave me reviews if you have a moment.  I do love reading what you thought.


uncgirl is the author of 9 other stories.
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