INT – Reception.
Natalie is typing at her computer when a cell phone beeps from her desk. We hear Kevin’s voice coming through the speaker of the cell phone, like a walkie-talkie.
KEVIN
The copy machine is jammed again.
Natalie looks over to see Kevin standing two feet away at the copier, talking into an identical cell phone like a walkie-talkie.
NATALIE
I’m right here Kevin.
JIM Talking Head:
After I went missing for four hours the other day, and caused a massive wave of panic among everyone here at the office, Michael decided to buy everyone in the office a cell phone with the ability to walkie-talkie each other. On the first day, Michael and Dwight used the walkie-talkies to recreate Vietnam scenes from Forrest Gump.
INT – Office
In a flashback to several days prior, everyone is sitting at their desk as Michael and Dwight’s voices play over everyone’s cell phones.
DWIGHT (over the speaker of the cell phones in the voice of “Bubba” from Forrest Gump)
My family knows ever’thing there is to know ‘bout the shrimpin’ bidness. There’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp-
MICHAEL (over the speaker interrupting)
They get the point, Dwight.
DWIGHT (over the speaker)
… Pepper shrimp. Shrimp soup-
Jim looks at Natalie who just shakes her head and laughs. Stanley rolls his eyes.
MICHAEL (speaker)
Stop it, Dwight!
DWIGHT (speaker)
Shrimp stew. Shrimp salad. Shrimp-
MICHAEL (interrupts over speaker)
NO! They killed Bubba! They killed Bubba, Lieutenant Dan!
Andy pumps his fist in the air at his desk.
ANDY
This is so good!
DWIGHT (speaker, still as Bubba)
I wanna go home... Michael.
INT – Office
Back to the present, Jim and Dwight are sitting at their desks. Michael walks out of his office holding his "walkie-talkie" phone.
MICHAEL
Jim. Why is the “Do Not Disturb” symbol by your name on my phone?
JIM
Oh. Because I don’t want to be disturbed.
MICHAEL
Well, how am I supposed to reach you if I can’t call you from my office?
JIM
I’m here now, Michael. What’s up?
Michael turns around and heads back into his office.
MICHAEL
Ughhhhhhhhh….
MICHAEL Talking Head:
The walkie-talkie thing? Best idea I ever had. Most definitely. Now I never have to leave my office. (Holds up his phone.) There is a group call function. Best invention ever. I’m thinking we should turn the conference room into a Dunder Mifflin lounge because the group call feature will make the conference room virtually useless. I’m going to pimp it out. Thirteen inch flat screen plasma tv, Super Nintendo game system… I also still own a Sega Dreamcast which is… all that anybody plays these days. A couple bean bag chairs, hang a strobe light from the ceiling, jukebox, couple of board games… people will never want to go home. “What are you doing this weekend?” “Oh, just hanging out at the office.” “Really? You would hang out at the office on a Saturday? Who does that?” “Well, you would hang out at the office on a Saturday if your office was extra awesome.” Oh. Speaking of that group call… watch this.
He taps a button on his desk phone that causes it to ring. He laughs and holds his “walkie-talkie” phone up to the desk phone, recording the ringing sound of the desk phone.
INT – Office
Everyone is still at their desks as we hear the sound of about fifteen phones ringing in the office. All at once, everyone picks up their desk phones and we hear a chorus of “Dunder Mifflin, this is Natalie.” “Dwight Schrute speaking.” “Extension 128.” “Hello?” “What?” We hear Michael cracking up from his office. Everyone slams their phones down angrily.
INT – Michael’s office.
MICHAEL
Oh, that was fun. Let’s do it again. I-
He goes to make the group call, but the camera shows that everyone is now listed under “Do Not Disturb” on his cell phone.
MICHAEL
Oh. Well... now how am I supposed to be productive?
Story Notes:
I do not, repeat, do not own any of these characters.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I am aware that I have yet to complete "The Triangle" (all it's missing is an end tag really), but I had to get this cold open out of my imagination and share it with you guys. I lot of it will rely on your imaginations as well. Let me know what you think.... eek.
Also, I think it's about time I cast the two newbies at Dunder Mifflin. I read on one fanfic that someone cast Zachary Levi as Jim's younger brother, Josh. I have to say, I totally love that idea. So I... am kind of stealing it?? If only because I have totally envisioned Zooey Deschanel as Natalie and in my head, those two would be kind of cute together. Zach and Zooey, does it get any better than that? Work with me here...
:)
Also, I think it's about time I cast the two newbies at Dunder Mifflin. I read on one fanfic that someone cast Zachary Levi as Jim's younger brother, Josh. I have to say, I totally love that idea. So I... am kind of stealing it?? If only because I have totally envisioned Zooey Deschanel as Natalie and in my head, those two would be kind of cute together. Zach and Zooey, does it get any better than that? Work with me here...
:)
Chapter End Notes:
Alright, let me have it. What do you think?
